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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! RP Board
Jimmy Comin' For Dat X Title! BUH! BUH!
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Jamaican Jimmy Offline
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#1
11-03-2016, 08:25 AM Bug  Jimmy Comin' For Dat X Title! BUH! BUH! -->

Scene 1 – De Streets of Kingston, Jamaica


We be lookin down de dirt road, many islanders ridin’ dey bikes down de road like de bumboclaats dey be.

We see dat boi Jimmy buyin’ some jerk chicken at de local food truck. He be grinnin’ and cheesin’ like he just won de lotto.


JJ: BUH! Dis right ‘ERE be de best damn jerk chicken I ever done did ‘ave! What your secret be, mon???


Now de man in de food truck he don’ be likin’ what he perceive to be a fake white boi makin’ fun o’ de culture and whatnot. Jimmy standin’ ‘ere, wearin’ one o’ them cheap, fake Marley hats wit’ de knitted dreadlocks attached and all dat, and a dirty “We Be Jammin’” tee shirt dat dey sell to de tourists down at de ‘arbor.


Man: Me secret be me dick, mon. You got de food, now get yer ass on out o’ here!


Jimmy don’t pay no mind, he just walk away smilin’ an’ eatin’ his food. Den he hear de unmistakable sound o’ de steel drums.



::steel drums sound::




JJ: BRUDDAH! Dat be me JAM right dere, boi! Me say me gon’ to be droppin’ it like it be HOT mon!

Jimmy, de poor fool he be, start to go to twerkin’ and dancin’ in de street like a damn fool. Dis be when he get hit by de taxi cab.


JJ: OOOF!



Scene 2 – De ‘Ospital, Mon.



Now Jimmy be layin’ in de ‘ospital bed wit his arms and legs all casted up like you be seein’ in de cartoons about cats chasin’ dogs and whatnot.

De nurse be bringin’ him a juice wit de straw all bent like a little baby would like, puttin’ it in Jimmy’s mout’ so he can suck him up a sip.


JJ: BUH! Sista, you be havin’ the best titties, and a big fat ass only a black mon like meself could ever appreciate! Why don’t you be placin’ yer hand down into ol’ Jamaican Jimmy’s ‘ospital gown and proceed to be givin’ him de ‘appy endin’?


Dis be when de nurse squeeze de juice just so, sprayin’ de contents all over Jimmy’s very much not black face, den walkin’ away from de mon before she be doin’ sometin’ dat get her fired from de job. Everyone in Jamaica hate dealin’ wit’ Jimmy, mon.


JJ: Ayyyy, baby girl… you be playin’ ‘ARD to get! Jimmy be likin’ dat, mon! Jimmy love a good challenge, you get what I be sayin’?

Dat be why Jimmy decide to enter dis XWF Savage Ruble match! Me always lookin’ for the next big challenge, mon! An’ I be seein’ it when I be walking down de ‘allways of de XWF offices. I seen dat ugly fuck Ghost Tank getting’ ‘is pink slip de other mornin’. Jimmy say ‘GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD GARBAGE,” mon! Dat fat fuck got bigger titties den most de women in the clubs down ‘ere in Kingston. He be havin’ more periods den dem too! Now de mon can go home and get dat saggin’ ass o’ his rammed by some male prostitute… he’ll get dat ting fired into like a gun! BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!

Anywho, de match. BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I be ready to go, bruddah! Jimmy goin’ to be winnin’ de X-Treme Title and den goin’ to be smoking de best Jamaiiiiiiiiican chiba while he be getting’ blowjobs from dis sexy nurse right ‘ere!

I be tossin’ fools out de ring like dey be garbage, mon! Gator… garbage! Reno Riggins… garbage! Dat funny lookin’ fellow Ellsworth... STRAIGHT GARBAGE! Dey all be lyin’ on the de groun’, beggin’ DAT BOI Jamaican Jimmy for de next title shot! And I be tellin’ dem all…. No, mon! Dis be mine now!

Mon I tink de pain meds be kickin’ in, mon…

BRUDDAH! When we get to de moon and start de dance contest, Jimmy be de one wit’ de strongest axe, mon! I be cuttin’ down more trees den any o’ dem Canadian Lumberjacks up dere in Montreal or whatever, mon! Den we be flyin’ like birds across de ocean, and Jimmy be de fastest one! You ever be eatin’ dem potato pancakes, mon? Dat shit nasty! Calypso! Where me weed money, mon? You be owin’ Jimmy like two dubs, mon! Oh shit… Jimmy don’t be feelin’ too good now. Mama, pull de car over… I KNOW WE AIN’T GOT TO DISNEY YET MAMA!!!


Dis fool done leaned over de bed now and he be pukin’ like a high school girl sneaked in to a frat party tree roofies deep. De nurse just ignore him.


JJ: Jamaican Jimmy for president.


Tankfully, Jimmy go and pass out.

[Image: XOaEDy.gif]
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