Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Chris Chaos · (11-04-2016)

Chris sat in the locker room area of some arena, somewhere. It was dark. Dimly lit only by candles, it was seen to be a room with concrete walls. Gray or off white, possibly beige.

Chris stood in the room, holding the flier for SHOVE IT! Presented by Doctor D'Ville. He was looking at it intensely, studying it like his entire life was on the line.

It practically was.....

He looked into the camera and began to speak.

Let's start from the top, shall we? Dolly Waters. Congratulations on turning 13. I don't know what else to say, I mean, hell---look at what you have accomplished and you haven't even gotten your first pubic hair! Hell you will probably win October's Star of the month! It will probably be announced before this event even happens! What else can I say? Other than I left you laying in a pile of your own sorrow last week at Savage. I made you a victim. I will continue to make you a victim week in and week out in my goal to cause chaos here. You see, I have TWO goals coming into this whole shebang. I want to---and am GOING TO--win the Universal title, and I am going to create as much chaos as possible on the way to achieving that. If I have to use you as Exhibit A, so be it. And I will. You showed a little athletic display in your main event on Savage and I know you will be, despite your small stature, a load to handle in this battle royal. I just want you to know that I am ready---I am beyond ready---and I will be looking to eliminate you Dolly. You have two belts, what makes your overzealous ass deserving of another? Your overachieving ass. As far as I am concerned you have gotten very lucky here. You have been handed sub par competition on a sub par show. This is a different animal. Last week I welcomed you to the upper echelon for holding a belt that actually matters--and now that you are there, you are in MY territory. You are a squirrell in MY yard. And I have a gun....I am looking to make squirrell soup. You seem Dolly, I respect you, I do, but all you are at this point is a nusiance. An annoyance. A misquito. I am sick of hearing "Dolly this and Dolly that". It is about time I stop toying around with you and put you in your rightful place......over that top rope and out of this match. So Dolly I have two words for you....Shove it!

Whose next? Kitt Kennedy. Oh boy, Mr. Kennedy. You have had quite the rollercoaster here haven't you? Champ one week, not the next. But let me ask you, what match of actual substance have you won? Bearded War Pig turned out to be a scrub, so you can cross that one off your resume. What have you ACTUALLY done, except for run your mouth? That is right, nothing. The fact you are even in this match is because Doctor D'Ville and XWF management was scrambling to fill the ring with anyone that has a body temperature somewhere roughly in the 90's. KITT KENNEDY---XTREME CHAMPION---does that sound good to you? Does that have a ring to it? No. It sounds as misplaced and out of context as your existence here. As out of place as a dwarf at a midget convention. You have a place on this roster, and it is not fighting for one of the top titles here. Not yet, anyway. You have more to prove. You have a lot more to prove. At least to me. I failed in my quest a month or so ago to eliminate your ass from the Television Title match, but they say history repeats itself. I have another chance and this time I will not waste it. You are a nothing, a nobody, and it is about time that somebody here sees that! Kitt Kennedy, I can't even waste breath on you.....Kitt, Shove It!

*He takes the piece of paper, the flier, holding the competitors and looks at it again*

"Doctor D'Ville's ugly mug. Never thought I would have to look at that face again. Ew. It's like someone pulled silly putty over their knee.

Anyway....whose next? Oh....Jakob Davis. How are you? My name is Chris Chaos, and I am the future Universal Champion. May I ask who the fuck it is that you are? I didn't even know you were employed here. Now you get a title shot? Damn I didn't know the Doctor was such a giving man. I didn't know this was a damn charity. Jakob do you really feel like you have a chance in this match? This is some of the top talent here.....cough cough me....and you are basically a damn rookie. It would be a hell of a story, wouldn't it? No name nobody comes out of the blue and win's the Doctor's event? Pssht. That is fantasy, story book shit. This isn't Disney World. This is real life. Dreams are broken and shattered every day. In reality, dreams don't come true. You are beaten down by those better than you. You are only as good as the guy before you. And Jakob, I am betting good money that you will be one of the first competitors gone. I would tell you to Shove it, but that would be a waste of breath. You simply aren't worth the words.

Kurt Angle. Your washed up ass. How does being an Olympic Hero, winning the gold with a broken neck, being a multiple time WWE Champ, a WWE general manager---the list goes on---how does it feel to do all that and be reduced to fighting opening card and dark matches here? Face it, you are past your time. Past your prime. Nobody cares about your three I's anymore. Now, your I's, they stand for something different Kurt. Insignificant, Insufficient, Incomplete. Because your quest to be something, to rejuvenate your career, is incomplete and will remain that way. You are running into a road block here, Kurt. I already took one so called legend to school and kicked his head damn near off his shoulders. I pinned him 1-2-3. You are no better than Brett Hart. In fact, you are worse. Your little ankle lock? Doesn't matter in this match. Your angle slam? Probably the lamest finisher in the business, outside the Shining Wizard that Dolly does. It would be a great resume piece wouldn't it Kurt? Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, Shove It. You'd be on your wall to wrestling glory. It is just not going to happen. I am going to chuck you over those ropes Kurt, then look at you and yell two words....SHOVE IT!

*Grabbing the paper again, he clears his throat and reads another name*

Robbie Bourbon. The XWF's version of the X-Men juggernaut. This big bastard is beyond corny. I mean how can a guy your size suck so bad? You should be tossing carcasses around left and right instead you matter less than the third page of the newspaper. Nobody cares about your big ass. It will take a lot to get you over these ropes, I get that, and to some you may be the odds on favorite. But you haven't met me yet. You haven't met the kryptonite to the entire roster of so called "hero's". I have dismantled and taken apart everyone I have faced. I have handled adversity. I was thrown into an impromtu match with the Doctor, and I survived. I am ready for anything because I can survive and adapt. You have to rely on your size and lack of overall skill to get by. You know what they say Robbie Boy, the bigger they are the harder they fall. That is how hard you will fall when you go over the top rope and hit the mat below---ending your chances of ever getting close to the Xtreme Title that will be around MY waist by nights end. Robbie, when in Rome do as the Roman's do. In this case, the Roman's are going to shut the fuck up and SHOVE IT!

Now....Isabella Ravenwolf....this crazy cunt. She actually has a chance to win this damn thing in my opinion. She is the only one who actually scares me cuz she can like dissapear and shit. Its crazy. I mean she is crazier than a pet coon, this one. But, that doesn't hide the fact that she can get manhandled easily and can be dominated. She will be. By me. I am making it a goal of mine to throw you out of this match, Izzy, something I failed to do at Savage last month. You have been up and down in this business, in and out, and you are hard to keep track of. Your only notable win was one over than overweight freak of nature Z. But may I ask, who exactly is he? He is a nothing, a nobody. That isn't an exciting win. Sure it was on some grave site. Big effin deal. Isabella you aren't on the level to be in this match. The only reason you are here is for the same reason as Kitt....they needed a warm body. I would tell you to Shove It, but I am sure you have experimented in a weird way recently and have probably shoved a lot of things a lot of places. So I'll spare you.

*Ruffling the flier, he grins.*

"Gator....Gator, Gator, Gator. The odds on favorite here, no? Besides myself, of course. You and I belong to an exclusive club. That club is one of the few that has beaten Doctor D'Ville, the host of this match. It is something that we can both put on our resume's. You seem to have misunderstood what I said before. I never said I haven't lost. In fact, I have openly said I made a mistake and didn't read the card right, setting myself up for failure vs. Drake Knight and I got out-smarted by Dillinger. I have said that numerous times. Maybe you have those demon horns shoved so far up your ass you missed it? Let me tell you again. I HAVE LOST BEFORE. But I will not again. Losing only makes you stronger anyway. It makes you hungrier. It drives you. At least, it does to me. But I guess my point is--if you are going to run your mouth at least make sure your facts are correct.

Gator, you are a talented competitor, but I am going to tell you what I told everyone else......You have not been in a ring with me yet. Just ask Doc how that went. I am ruthless. When I put my mind on something, when I really really want something, I get it. I go to dark places I have never been to before. I reach deep down into my chaotic heart and pull it out. I have a chance here to be one of the most decorated superstars in XWF history. Think about it.......Xtreme Champion....Wild Card holder....Universal Champ. I will be a king among peasants, if I am not already. And that is something I do not take lightly. You should not take me lightly, either. Or the roles will reverse and I will snap my jaws down onto the Gator himself and go into the death roll......you can Shove It!

"Jamaican Jimmy......who IN THE BLUE HELL are you? If you can put the Red Stripe and the blunt down for a second maybe you can do some research on just who the fuck it is that I am. I don't know who you are but you will know real quick who I am. Why am I wasting time with this Ziggy Marley doppelganger? SHOVE IT!

*He looks back down at flier, getting frustrated. Why were there 20 of these scrubs?*

"The FUTURE Jose Gomez? Jesus did they get every bottom carder they could to fill up this match? I mean jesus. I don't have all day to waste on this. I'll just say, Mr. Future, you are going over the top rope. Shove....fucking...It.

SLAVE....this is interesting, for sure. I always found it funny that people name themselves after things that they don't actually want to be. I am sure he has some angle, he is a slave for pain, or a slave for anger or a slave for .......chaos. Yeah, I like that. SLAVE, may I ask.....do you really feel up to this daunting task? You have already been called out once by a stupid roid head fucker I am getting to in a minute......I mean, your name may be your downfall. People want to take you out because you are stupid and have a stupid fucking name. I think I am going to eliminate you just for this reason.

Now this brings me to one of the ore interesting competitors on this roster. Someone I haven't had the pleasure of facing but have heard a ton about. A loud mouthed asshole who writes checks his ass can't cash. You have held this title before, back in the day. This is nothing new to you. You are a very accomplished individual. But, the talent level and competition level wasn't the same back then. You call yourself Trax. MR. FN Dominance. You seem to have an ego as big as this match pool. You need to be taken down a peg. Gator was correct when he said your black pride goes a bit far. It is almost like you expect to win this match, like you have to BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK. It is pathetic actually.

And then, JUST WHEN I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A PASS, you open your mouth about me. You claim that I didn't make Doc submit or pin him? That IS true, but I was at the mercy of Vinnie's match making. My goal was to put him in a coffin, and I did it. If I needed to pin him, I would have. If I needed to tap him, I would have. Let's face it Trax, I AM BETTER THAN DOCTOR D'VILLE. Can you say that? Sure, it was a gimmicky win. But a W is a W, you said it yourself. And I did what I needed to do to do it. And I will do what I need to do to win this one. Do you think being 6'4" is a big deal? A deciding factor? WE ARE THE SAME HEIGHT

. So, what is your argument there? Jesus, you don't need a PHD to be employed here do you? And what makes you think that beating Alex Riot the week after she beat Doc makes you superior? You see that all the time in sports. Bad teams beat good teams the week after a good teams signature win. Doc probably warmed her up for you. If you beat her BEFORE she beat Doc, it would have been more impressive. Basically, all you did was pick at Doc's scraps. That doesn't make you a winner, Trax, it makes you a vulcher. It makes you a coward. It makes you not worth the title you claim. It makes you, quite frankly, a bitch. If you want a one on one match in the near future, I will show you EXACTLY who I am and EXACTLY how good I truly am. Don't open your mouth if you can't back it up, punk. SHOVE IT!

James Ellsworth......you aren't worth my breath. SHOVE IT. That is about all I have to say to you.

Bearded Warpig.....the imbred GI JOE. The disgusting product of a sister's egg and a brothers jizz. This clown has really fallen off hasn't he? He has had a hot start, I will give him that. He has been superstar of the month, and I haven't. Oh goody. I bet he want's some redneck trophy. I bet he wants some sort of pat on his hairy back. Well, fuck him. He won't get it from me. He lost to KITT KENNEDY, for god sakes. KITT FUCKING KENNEDY! If that isn't bad enough. War Pig......I"

His thoughts were broken by Jenny Myst, running into his locker room in heels and visibly shaken and out of breath.

"CHRIS! THERE IS AN ISSUE! IN THE PARKING LOT! NOW! COME! YOUR JEEP! IT....IT...."

"Say no more!"

Chris dropped the flier and ran out the door....

TO BE CONTINUED.........

XWF RECORD: 10-2-2
[Image: G9lmxhK.jpg]

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Two Words....SHOVE IT
Author	Message