Meet the Famn Damily... Part Four
Time: 1630
Date: Sep. 23rd, 2016
Location: Lake, Michigan

“Actually we are going to be grilling out, figured we could throw on some burgers, some chicken breasts, legs, and wings, how does that sound to all you boys?”

All the men respond almost all together in agreement, that the idea of burgers and chicken sounds amazing. Tracy then looks to Bearded War Pig.

“Hey Joshua could you do me a favor and go see if Brandon and Hannah are going to be here for dinner, while your dad and I begin prepping everything for grilling out?

“Of course I can go ask them, I’ll probably just text you their answer, probably going to visit a little while and medicate up, who knows what dinner will have in store for us.”

Bearded War Pig laughs and as he starts walking toward the stairs he punches his brother Zack, quickly exiting the porch he turns back and looks to Smut.

“Hey fuck nuts, you coming with or you going to stay on the porch and most likely catch a wrench to the skull?”

“Yeah I think I am going to need a couple joints to help with not getting in over my head.”

Joshua (Bearded War Pig) and Smut begin to walk toward the left side of the house looking at it from the road, where just about twenty feet off the side of the house, sits a doublewide trailer. The trailer where Bearded War Pig’s youngest brother lives for right now with his girl friend Hannah. They make it a ways from the porch, Bearded War Pig looks back to make sure the rest of his family was out of hearing distance before speaking to Smut.

“Damn bro, I thought my dad was about to go hog on that ass, mother fucker wasn’t to pleased with the way you talked to him, maybe next time be a little more subtle and kiss ass to him. I guess I should have made that clear, everyone else is free game though. Pops he don’t fucking play around, he can put me down by the way.”

“Are you for real? You told me to not take any shit from no one, now you are saying it probably wasn’t the wisest move for me to stand my ground with your father. Who happens to have the abilities to put the Devil of Detroit down! What the fuck man? I swear you do this kind of shit on purpose don’t you?”

Bearded War Pig just winks and smiles as they continue walking towards his youngest brothers trailer. Walking up the steps Bearded War Pig stops and looks toward Smut who is directly behind him.

“Hey just settle down fucknuts, you are about to meet the fucken stoner of the family and we are going to get blitzed my man. Plus with Pops grilling and shit he will cool down and it will all be swept under the rug. I promise you his bud is about to take us to mars my man!”

“Fuck, this shit better be some of the best weed I’ve ever had. I mean top three in taste, potency, and affect.”

Bearded War Pig just smiles and continues up the steps and onto the closed in porch, Smut follows right behind up to the door of the trailer. B.W.P knocks on the door with a closed fist, howls and dogs barking begins to erupt from inside as soon as his knuckles beat on the door. Bearded War Pig continues to knock for at least a solid five raps or so before he lets his arm go limp. A few seconds pass before the door suddenly opens, in the doorway stands B.W.P’s youngest brother, a skinnier fella, kind of medium shaggy dirty blonde to brownish hair, around the same height as B.W.P, a lot less hunky, probably around one hundred and sixty five pounds. They lock eyes almost instantly and simultaneously punch one another in the opposite arms, both wearing devilish grins from ear to ear. They then slap and lock hands, moving toward one another in a brotherly hug, both obviously have missed one another. Brandon Patrick then looks to Smut and smiles before speaking.

“What the fucks up? You don’t have any meat or anything on you do yah? Bear will most likely attack; also please try to move around in here slower than you normally would, he doesn’t like new fast movement. Especially with those fucking dreads, for fucks sake he is probably going to think you are a lion. He is Rhodesian Ridgeback you know the lion hunting dogs.”

Brandon just chuckles and steps back inside hollering at his dogs “Get back!” B.W.P and Smut make their way inside; Smut closes the door behind them. As soon as he turns back around from closing the door he is surrounded by three dogs, a Siberian husky named Sky, a chocolate colored Doberdor (Doberman and Labrador Mix) named Charlotte after the strand Charlotte’s Web, and lastly bear the Rhodesian ridgeback. Smut tenses up holding completely still, B.W.P and Brandon both laugh as they continue walking into the trailer, leaving Smut alone, scared, and surrounded. After about a minute Bearded War Pig hollers back to Smut from another room in the trailer.

“Hey fuckface, get your ass in here, he already has a bong, a gas mask, and a fucken Blunt ready to be choked down, you know kind of like how you like cock! Those fucken dogs won’t hurt you unless you’re not invited in, they probably just smell Elle and Anubis on yah, plus they don’t know you. They won’t bother you one bit.”

Smut shakes his head and just takes one step forward to see how the dogs react; they just follow still sniffing away. Smut then continues walking toward the hallway that leads to the living room where he watched Bearded War Pig and Brandon walk to.

To be Continued...

PrimeApe or Alpha Male?
Time: 1700
Date: Sep. 28th, 2016
Location: Limerick, Ireland

Steve Sayors is standing outside Bearded War Pig's locker room before Warfare has gone live, with a camera crew, he looks to be nervous, as sweat beads down his face. He raises his closed fist in the air about an inch from the door, he is biting his lip, knowing that usually, he gets shit from the wrestlers when he interviews them. Nervous his fist falls to his side and he lets out a heavy sigh knowing he is just a giant pussy and he always will be. Just as he begins to raise his fist up to attempt to knock once again, the door flings open. Bearded War Pig stands in front of him, flack jacket on, a pair of woodland multi-camouflage fatigues cut into shorts, and a pair of desert tan combat boots, B.W.P sniffs the air long and overly dragged out to get the point across. He then snaps his head to peer into Sayors eyes, removing his Oakley sunglasses from his eyes, B.W.P speaks.

"Holy shit balls batman, I thought I could smell someone who had shit themselves, Steve you are one giant fucking man bitch! Dammit, you can't come in my locker room smelling like a bag of shit covered cock, what the hell is wrong with you boy? Fucken A! Lets go for a walk or something, I don't want that stench hovering around my locker room, you know after I win the Intercontinental Championship tonight, Daddy is going to want to party and that means pussy, lots, and lots of pussy will be in that locker room, I don't want that pussy being tainted by the smell of a fuckboy like yourself Steve. For fuck sakes it isn't like I am Hunter Payne, I actually admire my women as women and don't have fucked up dreams about his lady being a Pokemon, and a penis resembling one at that. Now if you want a fucking interview I suggest we move it down the hall at least forty yards you stank ass mother fucker!"

Bearded War Pig pushes Steve Sayors down the hall away from his locker room door, while walking behind him holding his nose and fanning the air, making the camera crew laugh and chuckle. Making it around the forty yards away, Bearded War Pig smacks Sayor's in the back of the head, he turns around, not looking happy what so ever. Bearded War Pig rubs his beard and smiles.

"Okay this will do, now we can continue, but you need to step back a few feet so I don't fucken puke all over the place, try to keep it choppy I have a fucken important match tonight."

"Okay we will do this the fastest way I will ask all of my questions and you can then answer them all. So question one, we obviously have heard a lot from you about your match tonight, but some of the fans who are more pro-Savage are wondering why you haven't made mention of Hunter Payne and your number one contender spot match against him. They also wanted to know your feelings about the dream he had regarding XWF but in a Pokemon world? The XWF Galaxy would also like to know what exactly are your future plans if you are to win the Intercontinental Championship tonight?"

"Why haven't I had anything to say about Hunter Payne, well that's simple it just wasn't his time to be on the war path, you see to be honest it still isn't, have I met Dillinger in the ring yet? No, I fucking haven't, so why in the hell would I be worried about Hunter Payne right now? Well it is simple I am not worried, nor should I be, that man doesn't stand a chance. I mean look what I have done already? He simply isn't ready to go to war with a seasoned Veteran like myself, that is why I haven't mentioned him. Sorry if that hurts Hunter's feelings, but to be quite frank I don't give a fuck about his feelings.

Now as I already stated how I felt about his lady being a Pokemon in his fucked up child fantasy, I had a few other feelings about it. Like how he believes me to be an addict, which I can assure even if I am which I am not, it will not have any affect on this Primape beating the shit out of Hunter's bitch ass. He obviously isn't being treated enough like a real man by his lady to be having such pathetic dreams, which is probably the cause of him not satisfying Joy like Frodo probably would. You know what I mean, obviously, he and his pal Thad aren't tapping that like real men would. I don't have any other opinion really on that whole matter, I just know a man who dreams about Pokemon could never win against this GREATNESS!

What are my plans if I win the Intercontinental Championship? What do you mean if, I will, then I plan on celebrating like a Champion, you know cocaine, possibly hookers, pinkies in asses, the whole shabangbang! After that I guess obviously go on to continue the daily routines, train, make appearances for all the fans, destory Hunter Payne on Saturday and get another shot at another title, I swear if it wasn't for me XWF wouldn't have any number one contenders. I know in our contracts we can only hold one title unless it is a tag or trio tag, so I guess when that time comes I'll have to make the decision on which belt to keep. Then after that I believe I shall pursue maybe the Universal, but being the badass that I am I thought maybe the Xtreme title would be more to my liking. Well I got to get prepared to whoop Dillinger's ass all over Ireland. Oh Hunter the War Path will be heading your way soon enough! Oink, Oink, Mother Fucker!"

Bearded War Pig smiles and then spears Sayors out of nowhere as the scene fades to black.