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Dolly Waters · (09-14-2016)

…Heh…

Dolly lets out a sigh of smug exasperation

…I was told I could find my Belt here, stuck between a cock and a tard’s face…

I guess I shoulda’ figured things would go south of the border in the Federweight Division once I was gone, and in this case it has literally.

Now, now, Hunter, before you get all emotional and start callin’ yer’ Racial Fairness Act rep, tellin’ them you got yer’ feelings hurt by a twelve yearold girl, just know that I’m not a racist. All of these Trump-suckin’, cousin-lovin’ clowns who try biting ma’daddy’s style might be, but not me.

…My name is Dolly Waters, and I’m here to take my belt back…

Now I know your lovely lot lizard-like lady friend has as equally a big mouth as yours, but she also has an Adams apple bigger than a Hillary Clinton blood-clot, so I’m just tryin’ to figure out who’s really the man in this relationship.

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage Hunter, so congratulations guys! Heart

I’m all for equality, but once Roy got his wart-infested wiener sliced off and changed his name to Joy that waved his man card permanently.

We all get it Hunter. You’re so suave, you’re so hip, heck you’re wittier than an episode of Big Bang Theory on TiVo; but one thing you’re not is impressive. Count me out on giving a crap about a man who constantly gloats about going home to bang his Bruce Jenner inspired soulmate every night.

The only thing impressive about listening to you ramble those mundane, sorry assed excuses for insults from your pompous peter pealing pie hole, is watching Joy-boy’s nips harden on her implants every time before she cuts you off, heck I didn’t even know that was possible!

..You two are so gross together it’s almost cute…

Just like having to dissect one of those poor little dead piggies in Biology class. Well in this case a dead frog and a dead pig. And just to reiterate, I still can’t figure out which of you two is Kermit and which is Ms. Piggy….

But it doesn’t matter, because you’ll both just be nesting in a trashcan somewhere once I’ve verbally ripped out yer’ innards.

I’m sure you’re itchin’ worse than yer’ pubic hair after Joy popped yer’ cherry to try and cut me down, aint ya’ Hunter?

You’ll likely call me worthless as you frantically scream and curse like a turrets boy who’s had too much red koolaide. Then you’ll try and rip on me for being country, and you’ll try digging up some pseudo cliché on southerner incest, yadda, yadda, yadda...

…But it will all be for naught…

I’m better than you.

This twelve year old girl is better than you.

To hell with whatever you accomplished before returning here, nobody cares. You lucked up and won the belt from a worthless champ, and damn near lost it to a Trump supporter!

Can we say, L-O-S-E-R?!?

Dolly makes an L shape with her hand while sticking out her tongue, then suddenly kicks the shit out of Hunter’s shin and sprays him in the eyes with some key-ring mace.

Hunter goes down.

Dolly goes for the cover…

1…

2…

Hunter Payne · (09-14-2016)

Hunter: Awww! She so adorable!! I didn’t know we had to see a make-a-wish kid today. Joy, do you know what she’s dying of? Nevermind, I’ll ask. Honey, what are you dying from?

Joy: What?! I’m sorry, I zoned out. This little cunt just kept talking and talking! Shut the fuck up already!

Hunter: Well in her defense, she’s a dying 12 year-old. There’s no telling how many words she has left! Did you want an autograph sweetie? Maybe, you’d like to hold my championship and pretend like you’re the Champion for a day?

Joy: Hunter, I don’t think she’s from make-a-wish, I think she’s just a 12 year-old challenging you for your title…

Hunter: Impossible, isn’t it an implied rule that you have to have hit puberty before challenging for a championship here?

Joy: I don’t think so…

Hunter: Oh. So this is real? A 12 year-old is challenging me right now?

Joy: Yes! Not only that, but she seems to still have the creativity of an 8 year-old.

Hunter: Oh!!! Man, I thought she had like Tourette syndrome or something. This little girl has issues then... Wait, you’re 12?! Why the fuck aren’t you in school right now?!

Joy: I don’t think they take school very seriously in the South… Obviously.

Hunter: You can’t actually expect me to take you seriously right? You’re a kid! Not even technically a teenager yet! Wait, where the fuck are you’re parents right now?!

Joy: Probably in the back of some Duke of Hazards car, making more disappointments like her.

Hunter: Well do me a favor and call your mommy and daddy over here so I can fuck them up for abandoning their obviously mentally

daughter.

Joy: Hunter, she’s not

. That’s just how uneducated Southern youth talk.

Hunter: Then what the hell is this little girl’s deal?! You know, I’ve made grown-ups a lot tougher than you cry right? Like on the verge of suicide-type tears. You will be no different! Just let me channel a 12 year-old bully…Okay, SANTA ISN’T REAL! YOU WERE A MISTAKE! YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY! YOU TALK FUNNY! TEACHER’S PET! TATTLE-TALE! GO AWAY! YOU’RE POOR! NOBODY LIKES YOU! Etcetera Etcetera… Look,I already beat a pervert and a racist, and I’m not losing my title to a little girl who still has to go on a timeout when she misbehaves. I liked you better when I thought you were dying.

Joy: I wish I could go back in time 13 some odd years ago and convince your mother just to swallow you! That way, you wouldn’t have wasted our time with this pathetic shit!

Hunter Payne kicks out obviously!

Dolly Waters · **09-15-2016, 06:23 AM**

[Image: elite-daily-Chloe%252525252525CC%2525252...retz-1.jpg]

…Really now…

Okay, first off that was terrible.

I’m being serious.

It’s not like I really expected much more from Ren and Stimpy, but guys, seriously, you’ve gotta’ be better than that right?

If I wasn’t sick before, Hunter, as sure as the suns rising I am now.

I’d rather drink poison or inject myself with Zika then to have to listen to the ambiguously lame duo aimlessly banter back and forth again about wanting to adopt me since they can’t conceive on their own.

You know what? Since you two are so innately boring, how about you call up Hollywood so they can turn your pathetic little love affair into a silver screen production? Maybe even a reality show!

You could call it: Fifty Shades of Gay! I’m sure there are plenty of scumbags who would find that entertaining. It could do wonders for yer’ failing careers as XWF’s newest adaptation of A Boy and his Blob.

...Ugh…

I can’t believe I really have to waste my time with you two bozos. You think I can’t hold my own, dumbass? Obviously you haven’t the faintest idea just who you’re dealing with.

When I was the Federweight Champion I defended that belt against the likes of Dr. DeVille, and won, you on the other hand? You’re barely scrapping by against Nate Higgers? Wow, now that’s as impressive as Joy’s southerner jokes.

You should be thankful that I even decided to challenge you, because I first thought I’d just let someone who’s actually decent knock your scrawny slong in the sand- that way I’d actually have a challenge.

Joy? Calling me stupid? That's rich!

You should stick to watching the Kardashians and getting ripped off by your pot dealer rather than attempting to say anything of relevance, bimbo. It’s just sad; kind of like watching Radio. We all know you’re trying real hard hunny, that’s why we let you hang around and involve yourself in these matches.

You hail from a city, where the Rams had to recently ban “The Wave” from their stadium because several fans drowned, and you’re ragging on me? Please give me a break, Blac Chyna.
Go do the entire world a favor and forget to open your garage door the next time you start your car… Funny thing is, that’s not a far-fetched scenario at all.

…Welp guys, this wasn’t fun…

Actually, the shit smell on your breath is quite unbearable, Hunter; so make sure you have Joy cut the dingleberries from her taint next time before you go down.

Anyhow, I really need to get my science homework done, so while it was nice
getting a glimpse into what a Stewart Home couple looks like, I’ve gotta go.

Oh and I’m still taking my belt with me.

Dolly head-butts Hunter in the nose.

It’s funny, my science teacher said the world being made up of protons, neutrons and electrons; the guy never once mentioned morons. Guess he hadn’t bumped into this power couple yet…

Dolly goes for the pin…
1…

2…

Hunter Payne · **09-15-2016, 02:05 PM**

[Image: tumblr_m0iypk6xlH1rpdgrzo1_500.gif]

Joy: Mmm kay...

Hunter: Huh? Are you still here?! Joy, if we have a kid is it gonna be this annoying?!

Joy: No. This tiny crybaby is something else. We should just do what every adult does, and turn on Sesame Street or Barney the Dinosaur so this little brat can leave us alone while actually learning something at the same time.

Hunter: But no! Her tweaker parents would rather have her watch Ren and Stimpy or Beavis and Butthead, probably because it more accurately depicts her future. Poor thing.

Joy: Oh! NOW you need to go to school huh?! All of a sudden! No need, I think we’re schooling you plenty right here little girl.

Hunter: Hey if you were such a dominate Federweight Champion, then why aren’t you the champion right now? Oh, because you lost it huh? Who did you lose it to? You know what, it doesn’t matter… The important thing is that you tried your best…. JUST KIDDING! Welcome to adulthood bitch! Nobody cares that you tried your best! We don’t have any stupid participation trophies for you. You suck! You lost this belt last time because you’re a loser! I don’t care if you’re 12 or 120, a loser is a loser no matter what age. It’s not like it mattered though, even if somehow you were still the Federweight champion you would’ve eventually lost it to me, because you’re just an insignificant little bug that acted as a placeholder for the triumphant return of Hunter and Joy Payne!

Joy: Funny, we’re so Hollywood right? When the only places where you can see a 12 year old pretend to beat up a grown up is on Home Alone or the Disney Channel. And I for one don’t see any overgrown Jew-hating rats around here, do you Hunter?

Hunter: No, just a child being thrown into a world she knows nothing about, only to feel loved by a select few, until she’s not “cute” anymore. Then those who loved her (parents included) will leave her, leading her in a downward spiral where she’s an awkward teen, trying to cash in on what she did as a child, and eventually shaving her head and begging for money on the street as an adult. Finally becoming a drug addict that dies by 35 or pulls a Columbine, you know, either or…

Joy: Cool science teacher by the way, hey did your English teacher ever tell you the story of Romeo and Juliet? A story about two kids your age falling in love and killing themselves. Well maybe you should take the hint. Go get a freaking boyfriend, so you can start bugging him instead of us, then you both can do us all a favor and go kill yourselves!

Hunter: Class dismissed! Now get the fuck out of here!

Hunter kicks out again obviously!

**Vincent Lane** · **09-15-2016, 06:11 PM**

Ugh.

Hunter, your chick's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Please tell her to shut the fuck up every now and then, okay dude?

Oh, and your shoulder's still down. Kinda weird you didn't notice that, but whatevs.

3!

Winner and NEW Federweight Champion - Dolly Waters!

Dolly Waters · **09-16-2016, 05:18 AM**

Dolly stands up, brushes herself off a bit, then kicks some dirt on Hunter's face.

Thanks Vinnie!

She bits her lip, blushing heavily now.

...Just wanted to say, I'm a really, REALLY big fan of yer's...

Holding back a grin, Dolly takes her belt and skips off to do her homework.

Hunter Payne · (09-21-2016)

Joy:This is bullshit...

Hunter: I'm not telling my wife shit! I didn't know I wasn't allowed to have a manager accompany me. I thought this was America! But of course, this wouldn't be America if the minority didn't get screwed over by some manager--distracting, fast-counting bullshit! I bet if Brock Lesnar came though here with a manager you crackers would call it innovative! Not the brown guy though...

But I give you props Vince, because you're so bad at your job, that you made me realize something I'd never thought I'd say.

Joy: What's that?

Payne: I actually miss Paul Heyman running things around here.

**Vincent Lane** · (09-27-2016)

Dick.

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