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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare Results
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Wednesday night Warfare 8/31/2016
Author Message
Frodo mother fucking Smackins Offline
Big Dick Playa



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
09-01-2016, 05:55 PM

Adam Wednesday
Lyianna
- vs -
Shade
Lord Reaver
Parking Lot Brawl Tornado Tag match. Winner is decided by pinfall in the parking lot.


Peter Gilmour
- vs -
Chris Chambers
Xtreme Rules match.
Winner gets an Xtreme Title Shot
3rp limit


Robbie Bourbon
- vs -
Mystery Opponent

Submission match.
Should Robbie guess the mystery opponent he gets to name an advantage for him in the match as well as a Intercontinental Title Shot.
Should he not the mystery man fights after Robbie is attacked by a gang of angry Cubans.


Doctor Louis D'Ville
- vs -
Morbid Angel
Lane House of Horror match.
Vinnie will name the weapons and objects to be placed inside of a cage with the fighters.
Winner gets an Xtreme Title shot


Felix Braddock
- vs -
Ghost Tank
Standard match.


Dillinger

- vs -
Chris Chaos
Intercontinental Title Match
Hospital Room Brawl
Match takes place in a Cuban Hospital Room.
Xtreme Rules


Unknown Soldier
- vs -
Michael "McPotato" McBride

Xtreme Title Match.
Xtreme Rules match.







The camera pans down the arena halls as it begins to focus in on a small group of men who seem to be equipped for the zombie apocalypse. Zooming in the camera reveals the man leading the team of five to be none other than Bearded War Pig, with a look of determination on his face and geared up for a riot. His weapons of choice a barb wired aluminum baseball bat resting on his shoulder, custom built AK-47 slung on his back, and a custom built S&W .40 Cal. in a drop leg, thigh holster. The men rush in an urgent manner.

Bearded War Pig: Okay men, we are nearing our objectives locker room, his name is Adam Wednesday, and we protect him at all costs! Some real weird shit is about to go down, I hope you pussies ate your Wheaties!

Arriving at Adams locker room Bearded War Pig, signals for his team to halt with his hand raised stiff in the air. All the men from the security detail halts in place and begins sweeping their sectors for security breaches or anything out of the ordinary, everything seems to be clear. Bearded War Pig begins to attempt to knock on the door stopping with his knuckles centimeters from the steel shell.

Bearded War Pig: Almost forgot the drugs... Dempsey please inform me you have all the party favors for the rock stars? I swear to Christ if you don’t, I will beat you into a bloody puddle, bottle you up and send you to your most loved one!

Dempsey quickly jumps to attention and turns toward Bearded War Pig, he quickly unslings a backpack from his back and hands it to Bearded War Pig.

Dempsey: We have twenty grams of dabs, two ounces of mushrooms, a kilo of coke, fifty triples of a variety of ecstasy, plus a bunch of shit, and even enough DMT for about twenty trips. If those guys can’t party off of this, they don’t know how to party.

Bearded War Pig: You’re fucking lucky this isn’t like last time when you dicked up your responsibility. Oh and these guys know how to fucking party they are rock stars for fucks sake! If all goes smooth this combination of drugs should have this night end with an over dose.

Bearded War Pig knocks on Adam’s locker room door and waits patiently; as it opens B.W.P (Bearded War Pig) walks in closing it quickly behind him. He sternly walks to Adam nodding and acknowledging Adam’s band mates and groupies. Licking his lips while staring at one of the girls dancing on a pole in the front corner in a plaid miniskirt and no top. B.W.P’s head slowly turns to face Adam, extending the backpack of drugs over.

Bearded War Pig: Hope those drugs will suffice, they are very potent, hand picked by some very reliable guys that know their shit when it comes to well you know drugs! My team has been briefed and is prepared to take the parking garage! Don’t worry we will make sure everything goes your way as planned, nothing is going to deter the outcome you want.

Adam Wednesday: Right on man! Hope your guys are ready for one intense ass show!

Adam opens the bag and a giant smile works its way across his face. Bearded War Pig chuckles a little and turns away to prepare his security team. As he is making his way toward the locker room door to enter the hallway, he removes a small zip lock baggy with two small pills. Bearded War Pig tosses the pills in his mouth and grabs a beer from one of the band mates (Rock Star #1) and takes a large gulp.

Bearded War Pig: Hope sharing a beer with a vet isn’t a problem for you bub!?

Rock Star #1: Yeah no problem bro! Rock on!

Bearded War Pig: Fucking Eh, you rock stars are all the same, drunk, dumb, and coked out...

B.W.P says under his breath as he continues to head to the hallway. As he exits Adam Wednesday’s locker room, the scene cuts to a commercial break...

The scene opens back up after the commercial break, with Bearded War Pig running around the parking garage his eyes wide and pupils tiny. B.W.P is leading his team in a tactical manner but appearing to be gone on something, still flowing like water through the blacked out garage. All team members have attached NVG’s on their helmets and had the power cut. B.W.P signals for his team to halt and provide security with a hand and arm signal, with his team in position he slowly makes his way around a row of cars. He slowly takes a knee noticing a group of Nazi Zombies kneeling around a poor fan.

B.W.P quickly engages with his barbed wire baseball bay, sneaking up to the first Nazi Zombie, his first instincts go out the window. Smashing the baseball bat into the top of the Nazi Zombie’s skull he quickly removes the barbwire from rotting flesh and mush brain skull, instantaneously smashing completely through the second’s neck removing his head!

Bearded War Pig: Rot in Hell you lifeless pieces of Nazi shitfucks!

B.W.P screams as he goes on a bloody rampage ripping throats, hearts, and eyes from zombie after zombie until he stands covered in blood and rage on a pile of rotting Nazi flesh and bone. Oh and one poor innocent fan.

Bearded War Pig: Who’s you’re fuckin DADDY!?

Bearded War Pig starts thrusting the air like he is fucking their dead souls in the ASS, his team finally realizes what is going on and makes their way around him watching in distraught and confusion. Dempsey second in command walks over to Bearded War Pig slowly.

Bearded War Pig: Can you believe this fucken shit?!? Its like world war two in this motherfucker! WOOOO Bitch!

Bearded War Pig smashes his head into Dempsey’s and then instantly takes off looking for his next victim. Dempsey stumbles back to one knee, grabbing his head from the unexpected occurrence. The night vision camera quickly scans back to Bearded War Pig who is just in complete berserker mode, smashing Zombies skulls together until they are mushed into one, ripping spines out and using them as impaling weapons, and what seems to be his favorite... knocking Zombies down and ramming the Barbwire Baseball Bat up the Nazi Zombie’s asses then ripping it straight up leaving them only connected at the tops of their heads.

Bearded War Pig: I am a fucking Nazi Slaying Viking! Rape, Pillage, Repeat!

Bearded War Pig then throws his baseball bat across the garage into a Nazi Zombie’s skull that was about to attack Adam Wednesdays partner who has arrived early before the match. B.W.P then charges toward the lady with lust and Viking rage in his eyes, as two more Nazi Zombies approach Lyianna from behind. Just as one is about to sink its rotting fingers into her shoulder, B.W.P leaps with rage, pushing Lyianna to the paved floor, he smashes into the Nazi Zombies one foot on each of their chests. B.W.P and the Nazi Zombies crash to the floor. B.W.P quickly grabs one of their heads and begins pulling upward with all his might.

Bearded War Pig: AAAARRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! Come to Daddy you cock sucking Nazi fucktard!

The Nazi Zombies head rips from its shoulders; B.W.P smashes the next zombie in the head with its brother’s head, knocking it back to the floor. B.W.P quickly takes the full mount position and begins getting mat time in, with punch combo, mixed with elbows here and there until the Zombies face is paste on the ground. B.W.P quickly then gets to his feet and looks to Lyianna who is knocked unconscious, he looks around quickly to see if anyone is near, no one is in sight.

B.W.P drops down and begins to feel Lyianna up around the chest region, he then raises her rear end up in the air to dry hump her unconscious body. B.W.P begins to thrust a little harder almost foaming at the mouth like a very horny male dog sensing a female in heat. After about a minute B.W.P makes a face almost that of mocking a having a seizure, with his team arriving on sight at the perfect moment. B.W.P quickly jumps back from Lyianna with a big smile on his face and a wet spot on his crotch region of his contractor pants. His team begins to laugh hysterically.

Bearded War Pig: What the hell are you shit birds doing, we have to secure this parking garage for the boss’s match!

Dempsey: Sergeant the garage is all clear and secure, thank god your package was by the time we made it hear.

Bearded War Pig: Shut your fucken dick holster, cock bag. I was just checking on the fallen civilian, lets get her on her feet and a drink of water; I’ll let Adam know the parking garage is all clear for a brawl.

The scene fades out with Bearded War Pig heading back toward the locker room as his team pick Lyianna to her feet...




Adam Wednesday
Lyianna
- vs -
Shade
Lord Reaver
Parking Lot Brawl Tornado Tag match. Winner is decided by pinfall in the parking lot.


Lyianna are standing in the middle of the street waiting for the Blackest Hole to show up. Adam is playing air guitar while they wait. And then the lights go dark, which is odd because they're outside and there's still sunlight, but it's gone. A loud laughter is heard, and Shade appears in front of them, Lyianna responds to this by kicking him right in the nuts. He drops down, and Adam reminds him of his place in the world with a manhole cover to the back. Lord Reaver reminds Lyianna and Adam of his presence in the match by tasing them both in the back at the same. A sinister chuckle escapes his lips as he does this, but Adam is not bothered by this as he turns around and grabs Reaver by the arm. He twists it, and almost breaks it before placing his hand on The Lord of Darkness' throat with his free arm. Thursday takes his opponent to the street with a low choke slam. Lyianna continues a series of stomps to the downed Shade, while Adam beats the holy hell out of Reaver. The people in the street have begun to surround them, and cheer on the fight. Lyianna lifts Shade up, and slams him headfirst in a 1952 Ford Fairlane 500. Come on, Lyianna. Think of the cars, don't hurt them. She repeats the process over and over.

Adam and Reaver have swapped places as Reaver is slamming Adam's head into the concrete, over and over again. Adam is busted open and bleeding, but he isn't giving up. He has a hold of Reaver's throat and is pushing him off of him. But not before Reaver gets his thumbs into Adam's eyes, and begins to press them. Adam is screaming, and fighting to get himself free. He's giving up, and trying to get the hands out of his eyes, to no avail. THWACK! Lyianna has come to his rescue with the manhole cover. It slams into the back of Reaver, and sends him to the ground. With the blackest hole on the ground, Lyianna helps Adam to his feet. He stumbles around trying to regain his bearing again. He finds Shade's limp body, and locks him in a sleeper hold. Reaver is up on his feet, and grabs Lyianna from behind, he pulls her in close for a sleeper hold as well. Both men lock eyes and wait to see who'll take the win.













And Shade taps out. The match is over.


DEWEY: You winners are Adam Taking Back Sunday, and Lyianna. Who needs to give me head.












Peter Gilmour
- vs -
Chris Chambers
Xtreme Rules match.
Winner gets an Xtreme Title Shot
3rp limit


The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of SICK LIKE ME by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage. As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely queen Mia Yim come out to the ramp. They smile at each other before going down the ramp hand in hand. Peter bobs his head to the song. They get in the ring together and Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Peter hops down and hugs Mia as they wait his next victim.

Dewey comes out to the ring dragging Chris Chambers behind him.

DEWEY: Peter, I found him sleeping backstage. Saying he needed to recover from Monday. I said no. He has to come out here and give these people a show worthy of Peter Milkshake Gilmour, and Chris Small Penis Chambers.

Uh, bub. I'm not Peter Milkshake Gilmour. I'm Peter F'n Gilmour.

DEWEY: Whatever you say, Milkshake. Holy shit, did you see that?

No. What?

DEWEY: This freak just grabbed Mia's ass. Peter, don't let him defile and molest your queen. Stomp his face in, while Mia and I move to the safety of the outside.

WHAT?! I guess I didn't teach him for breaking my window before. I called your match fair for you, I should have fucked you over! You piece of shit. I am the greatest referee ever! SUCK MY DICK!!

Dewey and Mia move out of the ring, and Peter begins to slam his massive foot into the base of Chris Chambers' skull. He's stomping and bashing, and destroying this fucker. Completely annihilating him. Even grabs his arm, and pops it out of socket as he stomps. Milkshake lifts the limpdick and drops him with an ENDGAME! Chambers is done. He isn't moving. Peter responds by pulling his super dick out, and pissing all over Chris before placing a single boot on his chest for a pin.

1



2





3


DEWEY: Your winner is Milkshake Gilmour.

Don't call me that.

DEWEY: Whatever, Milkshake.





We watch the tron as one side there is Ghost Tank sitting in his locker room, relaxing with Alyssia besides him. The other side shows Dewey Gobblecoque in a chair with a blonde head bobbing between his thighs.

So, XWF. Welcome back to another round of Dewey interviews enhancement talent. Today we have Ghost Tank. Hi, buddy

You're lucky I'm even talking to you, after the shit you pulled, Dewey.

Whatever Cannoli dick. How's the wife? Still got a baby elephant between her legs?

She's a post-op transgendered woman. So, no. No she doesn't have a baby elephant between her legs.


Shame. Thought at least one of you would have a dick in the relationship

I have mine. Whether you people believe it or not. In one promo I even showed my dick, still firmly attached to my pelvis.

Show it then. Give the kids at home a treat

Another day. I'm not revealing shit to you. You all saw it before, it's still there, move the fuck on. Thought this was an interview about in-ring shit, and not about the genitalia of my family and I.

Nope. It's about the lives of our talent. Give the fans a chance to know you better. Now they know you're dickless

I stand by my word and the video evidence. My dick is still there. Unless there's something else you wish to talk about, then speak, or the interview will be considered over.

Yeah, how do you feel about the claims that the Union is discriminated against and you got a dirty win over Chris for the title?

You ever hear of the little boy that cried wolf?

Yeah, but eventually the boy was right. So, are you saying there's a chance of discrimination here?
Are you accusing your former best friend of racism?


I'm saying that this is one of those times where they are crying out about discrimination, and it's total bullshit. As for Frodo, he says whatever the fuck he wants. I don't think he's one hundred percent racist. His, what was it? Half-brother? Swaggy is racist. Frodo though, he just doesn't give a fuck.

Ok, what about the fact that no British star has ever held a major title?

Scully.

You do know that our stock values dropped since he held it. I did say major title. He made it matter less

Thanks for letting me know. I'll have to buy low, so when I beat Scully, I can sell high when I make the title look good.

Oh, you plan on earning a shot?

Yes, I do. I called my opponent, when I'm finally out of this swamp of shit that Frodo has ready for me. Even though "next opponent" should literally be next opponent. Scully was the opponent I called out. When I beat him, I'll have shown that I am his better and I deserve to be next in line for a title shot.

It doesn't work that way. You have to know that.

How many times has someone beat the Universal Champion, then at a pay per view, they get a shot at the belt? I know it's happened before. I'll earn my shot in the non-title bout, and when I beat him, it'll be another time The Union have cried wolf, and it too. will be bullshit.

Find me an example of it happening. Because it doesn't work that way
You don't magically earn a shot because you won nontitle. Otherwise I'd have a shot at it already. Just being alive puts me above you and Scully.


Gobblecoque, you aren't a part of the roster as a wrestler, right? You're an announcer and an interviewer?

And more

But are you paid as a wrestler?

Did you know I'm Frodo's boss?

I reiterate, are you a wrestler?

Yes. I'm Arby Beef
Happy?


Tank grins slyly I am now. I'll get to beat the fuck out of you. You honestly think you wouldn't get something done to you for the attack you did months ago?

I think you're a coward and afraid of anyone who poses a challenge

So, why would I choose to face Scully, then? If I'm such a coward, why would I challenge the Universal champ?

[color=#32CD32]Because you foolishly think your past wins promise a new win
However, if you step to me, it'll be #dicksoutforTank. Because I will murder you


[b][i]Because I face people I think are worthy. I don't challenge often. I am the one who gets challenged, by nobodies and wannabes. I don't challenge them, because they don't deserve to face me. I am a God. I am Death. And you and like most of them are insignificant worms that don't deserve to step in the ring with me.


You're a dude who lost like 4 times to Ginger Snaps, and to some other little girl. You're not a god. You're a little bitch who won't show her dick. Because it doesn't exist

I fought Ginger twice, if I recall correctly. Once in a 'nice off' and that made me want to kill myself. The second time was earlier this year, for a title shot for the Intercontinental title. I let her win. I was tired, I wanted a rest. And look at me now. I've lost three times in how many matches? I've forced Cain into hiding, Emerick came back, and he's gone once more, showing he still can't hack it. Macbeth beat me, then I beat him for my title, and forced him to be a bitch and retreat into the ranks of obscurity. Like I'll do with Felix. Slowly but surely, The Union will crumble beneath me.

And Caroline? What excuse will you give then?

I have no excuse. But then again, I'm not the same man as I am today.

If you say so, Care bear

Care bear? Really?

Cause you're a giant teddy bear bitch.

Only to my wife and child. To you all, I am what I say I am.

A dickless bitch?

Death Incarnate.

You do know that no one fears you, right? People don't respect you

Some greet Death with a smile. Some greet Death with sadness. Some do not attempt to greet Death, but run away, only to find themselves reaped. Some greet Death with a laugh. Some greet Death like a dear friend, a comrade, a brother-in-arms. Some try to live forever. Some try to fight Death, but ultimately, in the end, they lose Some don't give Death the respect He deserves, until they have felt his powers.

How will you greet Death, when He stands before you, Gobblecoque? With a laugh? With a smile? With sadness? Will you run? Will you stare into His eyes and try to fight?


Like I beat your punk ass once before

After a match, while I was walking with my family to head back home, to rest. You even had a weapon on your side with surprise. Fatigue and not expecting the unexpected, is what allowed you to hurt my wife and I. Now I know there's more to you than you've let on, you can expect a surprise. It may be at Warfare, while you call the matches. It could be while you're getting ready to leave. It might just be as you're riding away, and BOOM! Your car goes off.

McBride isn't the only one who knows explosives. And I am very intelligent, Gobblecoque. You won't know what hit you, until the pain has racked your body.


Ok, sure buddy. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to up your self esteem. I gotta go, dickless. Beat ya ass later.

Sure, Dewey. Though, at least I gave you a modicum of respect by not making names out of your last name. This is, after all, professional to professional. Until I make you disappear.

Lyianna's head pops up with something dripping from her chin.

Swallow it, bitch. Good girls swallow. Also, I'll see you next time, XWF.







Robbie Bourbon
- vs -
Mystery Opponent

Submission match.
Should Robbie guess the mystery opponent he gets to name an advantage for him in the match as well as a Intercontinental Title Shot.
Should he not the mystery man fights after Robbie is attacked by a gang of angry Cubans.




A series of fireworks fire off on the stage as Sympathy for the Devil starts to play throughout the arena. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website as Robbie steps out. He raises his arms to 45 degree angles while the X-Tron shows clips of Robbie hanging Ellis Bolton using the hook from an undone turnbuckle, and Robbie chokeslamming Bjorn Felhammen through the ring. Robbie starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, instead flipping backwards over the top rope. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.

Robbie jumps down off the turnbuckle, and turns to the rampway, awaiting who the Mystery Opponent will be.

A mob of Cubans run out to the ring, and flood the ring, coming in from all directions, and he begins to get beat down by sticks, pots, food, drinks, chairs, someone even had a fucking prosthetic and they were whacking Robbie time and time again with the tip of the toes, just slamming the toes into the side of his head, near his temples!

And now, what's this?! An oiled up Cuban comes flying into the ring, and begins to rub his ass and dick and balls all over Robbie, and he even lets out a fart, but it wasn't just gas blown into Robbie's face, a huge amount of sparkles and glitter shot out into his face!

Once he is sufficiently mugged and beat the fuck up and the Cubans have all left the beaten up Robbie, it would be the time for the entrance to darken, the lights begin to pulse then flicker, then pulse then flicker, before soon the arena becomes dark, save for cameras on cell phones as well cameras begin to flash, acting like thousands of fireflies going off and then disappearing only to have the flashes appear from different parts next to the first source of the camera flash next to it.

Then...





Out comes The Pest as he walks to the ring, wearing his trademark fedora, and a long black jacket, accompanied by Aaron and Jenny.. He removes the jacket, and hat. Pause. He hands the jacket to the girl, and places the hat on the head of the boy.

Robbie's mouth is wide open as he sees The Pest walking up the stairs to enter the ring. while wearing glitter and sparkles, since the Cuba had used lube and all that shit got everywhere from shoulder to head, even his eyes. Pest simply smiles to Robbie before he walks up to the slightly more bulky man. Wouldn't be long before Robbie gathers his wits, and his anger coming up from the boots being put to him, medium style.

They went into opposite corners, as the ref calls for the bell, and Robbie immediately charges at Pest. Pest, being the more calm and calculating, he moved off to the side, and went for a straight kick to the side of Robbie's knee, causing the slightly bigger man to buckle, nearly falling to his knees, but moved to stand up tall, and still trying to bull rush the elderly man who responds with a lariat, but Robbie barely budges, taking a step back! Pest moves to run into the ropes, coming back at Robbie with another lariat, but this time Robbie responds by ducking his body just enough to catch Pest's body, acting like he's about to scoop slam him, but instead he twirls Pest around, then slams the old man back first into Robbie's knee!

Pest grunts and groans as he writhes in pain from having the knee meet his spine! How that didn't break the old bastard in half, is anyone's guess! While he's on the ground, Robbie stands back up from his kneeled position thanks to the tilt-a-whirl, and he then pat his right elbow, then dropped his body down, elbow first onto Pest's chest! It causes all the air to be blown out of him with an OOMPH sound. Robbie stands back up, only to drive another elbow onto Pest's chest, then he rises and he's falling for a third elbow, only for Pest to roll out of the way!

He stands up slowly, as does Robbie, only for Pest to kick hard to the side of Robbie's left knee, causing the man to fall back down, and Pest moves, wrapping his left arm around Robbie's neck, then drops Robbie straight down onto his skull with authority! Robbie begins to hold his head, but isn't allowed to try and deal with the headache, as Pest performs an agile standing moonsault, and then follows up with an Anaconda vise! He begins to choke out Robbie!

Robbie spins towards his knees while Pest holds on for dear life, still applying the vise, then stands up, and delivers a backdrop driver! Robbie gets up, while Pest recovers, trying to recover after the backdrop, only to have Robbie wrap his right arm around Pest's neck, tossing Pest's right arm around his neck then Robbie placed his left hand to Pest's pant waist, and hoists the inch taller old man up into the air, deadlifting him and then holding him up in the air for a second, only to drop Pest down onto his back! He gets up quickly, grabs Pest by the collar, lifting him up before wrapping his right arm around Pest's left shoulder while his left arm wrapped around Pest's right arm, connecting his hands and swinging the man up and over before delivering the T-bone suplex, slamming Pest right down onto his back again! Robbie follows this by rolling Pest onto his stomach, stomping on Pest's knees, then stepping right on the lowest part of the back of Pest's thighs, placing the old man's ankles against his, grabbing Pest's arms, then pulls backwards, until his laying on his back, and Pest is being bent in half! Pest is crying out in pain, and Robbie is telling the ref to ask Pest if he submits!

Pest shakes his head while yelling out his pain. Robbie mistakes the yell for a yes that he submits, and relinquishes the hold!

Robbie stands up, looking at the ref, telling him to raise his hand in victory, insisting Pest had submitted. While Pest begins to recover, Robbie begins to yell to the nearby crowd, talking with them as if trying to make them see his way, that he won, and that they should ask for a new ref, as if the current one is broken and won't call the match correctly. Now fully recovered, Pest waits, as Robbie waves throws his arms and waved away, a signal to the crowd 'I am done trying to talk to you people' and as he is about to come and continue wrestling Pest, the seemingly old codger shows speed and power as, wait for it...

A SPEAR! HOLY TITS ON A COW! THE OLD BASTARD DAMN NEAR RAN THROUGH ROBBIE!

He made Robbie figuratively crumple in half, and began to cough hard, causing spittle to fly out onto the ring mat. He picked up Robbie, and he picks up Robbie, hooks both arms with his, then performs Why Dance With The Devil When You Can Have Me? slamming Robbie face first into the mat! He wraps an arm around Robbie's neck and he slaps on the Dragon Sleeper! Shades of Ultimo Dragon with how he has it applied on Robbie!

Robbie’s limbs are flailing around, grasping at air. He manages to slide towards the ropes, just a little… Pest cranks back on the hold more, but Robbie slides backward a bit again, the toe of his boot mere millimeters away from the bottom rope.

Robbie’s hand hovers like it were attached to an awkward teen in a prom picture, is he going to tap?!?!

No! Robbie slaps Pest across the face!

Pest slips a little, and it allows Robbie to back into the ropes, getting both feet on the bottom strand. The referee forces Pest to relinquish the hold, and Pest is visibly frustrated. Pest stomps his feet and shouts at the referee, almost certainly threatening to rape him in some capacity. Just then, Robbie Bourbon rushes from behind him and grabs him by the head… that’s his PHRENOLOGY CLAW!!!

Pest smartly drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring before Bourbon has the hold secure. Pest stands there throwing up some sort of symbol with his arms… and one of his masked goons sprints down the ramp with a burlap sack! The goon is female and wearing a Cher Lloyd mask. She hands the bag to Pest who reaches inside and pulls out…


… HIS OLD DILDO CROWN!!!


Pest places the crown of cocks onto his dome and smiles, pointing at his head because he’s so damn smart. He rolls back into the ring and Robbie immediately runs up to him, stomping away at the dildos, which fly off one at a time, bouncing around the ring.

Robbie rips off dildo after dildo, but it seems like after every one he removes there are two more to take its place! Pest is the new Bartholomew Cubbins!

Robbie pulls Pest up and then slams him down in an STO, sending more dildos flying. He yanks Pest into a sitting position and sinks in the Phrenology Claw in full strength!!! But Pest only looks mildly uncomfortable! The dildo crown is protecting him from the vicious move!

Robbie rips away dildos a half dozen at a time, flinging them to ringside. The hydra-like crown keeps sprouting more. Bigger, blacker, thicker, dildos replace the ones Robbie tears away, but he keeps at it, never loosening his grip.

Robbie’s running out of gas! He’s wearing himself out trying to keep the pressure of the claw on Pest’s head while also pulling away dozens of sex toys… Pest recognizes the sound of Robbie’s heavy breathing and begins to laugh. A high pitched, nasal wail of laughter, he leans his head back so he can see the tired look in Robbie’s eyes…


AND ROBBIE CRAMS A FOURTEEN INCH DILDO ALL THE WAY DOWN PEST’S THROAT!!!

Pest starts gagging and clawing at his neck, his eyes bulging out and his face turning from pale to red to blue to purple…

Finally, Pest gives one last gagging choking sound and then falls over onto his face, out cold.

Robbie shakes the ref and points at Pest, and the ref lifts Pest’s hand up from the mat once…

It falls.

Again…

It falls.

The referee grabs the hand of Pest a third time and lifts it from the mat…































































… and IT FALLS!!!!


The referee calls for the bell and lifts Robbie’s arm in the air in victory! Why isn’t anyone making sure Pest isn’t dead?





Doctor Louis D'Ville
- vs -
Morbid Angel
Lane House of Horror match.
Vinnie will name the weapons and objects to be placed inside of a cage with the fighters.
Winner gets an Xtreme Title shot


I WANNA ROCK!!!!







The crowd pops as pink and purple lights begin to strobe around the arena, signaling the arrival of the XWF Owner, Vincent Lane.

Vincent emerges from behind the curtains in a hot pink three piece suit, grinning down at the diamond studded Swatch around his wrist as he times the applause.

Vincent walks down to the ringside area and enters the cage that’s been lowered, cell-style, around the entire ring and around it as well. He stands in the center of the ring and waits while the cheers die down.

“Thanks for the warm welcome, dudes!”

Another burst of applause.

“As you know, we are about to witness a historic clash between two of the greatest Universal Champions in the history of the XWF, Doctor D’Ville and Morbid Angel. This is actually the first ever Vincent Lane House of Horrors! And as such, the first thing we need to do is introduce the weapons that will be used in this match. So, without further ado… here come the weapons!”

And just then, the curtains open and three men in protective gear head for the ring, each one with two nearly rabid Doberman pinschers on chain leashes. The dogs are frothing at the mouth and snapping at any fans stupid enough to hold their hands out.

Vincent exits the cage and steps aside as the angry canines are walked in, and then they are released from their leashes and the door is slammed shut. Vincent heads back up the ramp, but before he can go more than a few steps the lights go out…

… and then come back on…

… BLOOD RED.






The rhythmic drumming sounding like a battle march gets louder. The lights slowly come on turning the arena red.

Double bass starts drilling as Aeon’s - God Gives Head in Heaven roars over the loud speakers!

Morbid Angel storms from the backstage area and flexes his massive arms for the crowd who screams with excitement!


Morbid makes his massive pectorals dance for Vincent, who gives the big man a thumbs up and then turns to watch him enter the cage.

Morbid walks through the dogs, kicking one away as it growls at him, then makes his way to his corner.

This is when a finger taps Vincent Lane on the shoulder, and he spins around.

“Hello my friend.”

Vincent smiles after a momentary look of shock.

“Doc! Long time no see, dude.”

“Yes, yes. You’ve lost some weight since last we spoke.”

Doc gestures toward Vincent’s waist, where the Universal Championship used to sit. Vincent snickers at the obvious shade thrown his way.

“Yeah… I went on the same crash diet you went on last time we were in the ring together. Good luck tonight, Doc.”

A sinister grin slowly spreads across the face of the Doctor.

“Yes. Thank you, Mister Lane. Good luck to you as well.”

Vincent backs away down the aisle as Doc chuckles and waves, and then pipes up again.

“Oh, and Vinnie?”

Lane stops, caught off guard by the Doc using his former moniker.

“LOVE the suit.”

Vincent heads to the back and D’Ville then walks into the cage and, surprisingly, the dogs all sit and allow him to pass by. One even hides its face beneath its paws and whines.

Doc stands in his corner, and the bell sounds.

All 400-plus pounds of Morbid Angel (all muscle!) charge at the Doctor immediately, but the deceptively agile D’Ville steps aside and casually walks to the center of the ring, watching as the behemoth slams chest first into the turnbuckles.

Morbid angrily pounds the turnbuckles with his fists and then roars as he turns around… right into the oncoming skull of D’Ville!

Doc rams a second headbutt into the nose and mouth of Morbid Angel, whose lips immediately split open and begin gushing crimson. Morbid isn’t slowed, though, as his rage allows him to power straight through the onslaught and drop the Doctor to the canvas with a thunderous clothesline.

Morbid wastes no time squatting over the Doc, leaning his heavy frame onto the supine D’Ville and battering him with heavy right hands.

“AAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!”

Morbid wails in MANLY pain as one of the Dobermans clamps down on the supple meat of his backside. Morbid stands up and howls, swinging back and forth until the dog is dislodged. He rears back one of his legs to punt the animal, but Doc has him by the leg! D’Ville trips him up and has him in a Sambo-style knee bar! The anguish is readily apparent in Morbid Angel’s grim visage… he strains and attempts to kick the doctor off of him to no avail… and then he grabs one of the dogs!

Morbid bench presses the 200 pound killing machine over his head and then tosses it right onto Doc’s face! The dog snarls and quickly starts snapping at Doc, who has no choice but to release the hold and fend off the rabid animal. Eventually Doc shoves the Doberman to the side, revealing a large gash in his own cheek. He smiles and wipes away the flowing blood as he gets to his feet and engages the Dick Collector once more.

Morbid backs into the ropes, then comes rocketing back with a hard forearm strike… but Doc absorbs the blow and remains standing! Morbid follows up with a flurry of forearm strikes that send Doc backward, trapping him into a corner. Morbid grabs Doc’s throat with both hands chokes him, shoving him backward over the corner buckles. His hand moves over Doc’s face, and D’Ville bites his finger! Morbid lets out a surprisingly feminine squeal, then drags Doc from the corner and spins around into a sit out choke bomb! Doc bounces off the mat and turns his head, grinning… and spits out the tip of Morbid Angel’s finger!

Morbid looks down at the spurting end of his pinky finger, and watches in horror as a Doberman rushes over and swallows the disembodied tip. Morbid goes red in the face and attacks the dog! He grabs the animal and spins it around… and he rams his fist up the Doberman’s ass! Morbid Angel is wearing a live Doberman like a glove!

Just then another Doberman jumps onto Morbid to protect its pack member… but Morbid shoves his other fist into that dog’s ass as well! DUAL WIELDED DOBERMAN GLOVES!!!

Doc D’Ville is to his feet, but he is immediately caught with the gnashing teeth of a PINSCHER PUNCH! Morbid throws a combination with his dog dukes, sending Doc reeling… until Doc goes low with a desperation dropkick to the knee. Morbid stumbles and falls forward, and Doc stays on the offensive by driving a hard knee into the back of Morbid’s skull, shoving him throat-first across the middle rope, and leaning down with all of his weight onto him. Morbid braces himself against the bottom rope with his canine hands and bucks like a wild bronco, but Doc shifts his weight and moves to where he is actually standing with both feet on the back of Morbid’s head, using the top rope to add even more leverage. Morbid’s face is going blue!

Doc springboards off of the back of Morbid Angel’s head, leaping over the top rope and landing a heavy guillotine legdrop across his opponent, landing on the apron. Morbid is slingshotted back into a kneeling position. Doc sees Morbid is dazed and he stands, gripping the top rope… he jumps and swings inward, hitting Morbid with a dropkick to the face! Morbid Angel slumps forward on all fours, two of which are still dogs. Doc backs away and lines up as if he’s measuring for a field goal kick…. DOC RUNS FORWARD WITH A PUNT!!!

MORBID ANGEL SAW HIM COMING!!! Morbid sits up and slams a Doberman into Doc’s face! DOBERMAN CLAW!!! DOBERMAN CLAW!!!

Morbid laughs and slams the second dog into the crotch of Doc D’Ville! Double Doberman claws, one to the face and one to the groin! The dogs are gnawing on the flesh of the Doctor, blood spilling all throughout the ring. Morbid stands and holds Doc over his head, still being devoured by the fierce canines, and he runs to the side of the ring… Morbid throws Doc into the cage wall!

OH MY GOD!!!

The dogs wouldn’t let go of their meal! Morbid’s fists are covered with entrails and blood as he stands holding the severed spines of both dogs, who’ve disemboweled themselves by refusing to release their jaws from Doc’s body! Morbid throws the entrails down and licks the blood from his hands as he looks outside the ring and sees Doc getting to his feet slowly…

Doc peels away the dead dog jaws, dropping their carcasses on the ringside floor. His face is mutilated from the attack. His entire left cheek is hanging from his skull, exposing his wriggling tongue and bloodied teeth within. With a chuckle, the doctor slaps the flap of skin back in place, holding it against his head with his hand.

MORBID ANGEL HAS SEEN ENOUGH!!!!

Morbid flies out of the ring with a somersault dive, slamming Doc backward into the cage again and landing on his own head as he does so! High risk, but does it pay off???

Doc stirs first, crawling away from the leviathan known as Morbidgod. Morbid has him by the ankle though! Morbid Angel drags Doc back to him, drilling him in the face with a right hand! Doc responds in like kind, slamming his fist into the bloodied face of Morbid Angel! The two men fight back to their feet, throwing bombs back and forth the whole way! One of Morbid’s teeth flies out of his mouth and slides across the concrete floor into the stands, where a young woman eagerly scoops it up and stuffs it down the front of her pants.

Morbid Angel gains a momentary advantage when he blocks one of the Doctor’s punches and fires back with a fast combination of his own… he pummels Doc in the face with lefts and rights! Doc D’Ville’s eyes are swelling, and it looks like he may have a damaged orbital… DOC D’VILLE’S GLASS EYE IS LOOSE!

Morbid grabs the eye and laughs, gripping it in his MUSCLE FIST and grinding it into powder! He then shows what he’s done to Doc and laughs again!

DOC D’VILLE BLOWS THE GLASS POWDER INTO MORBID’S FACE!!!!

Morbid Angel grabs at his face, the glass bits grinding into his eyes and skin, and even being inhaled into his mighty throat! His face is rendered completely raw in an instant, and Doc takes advantage by grabbing him by his thick black hair and slamming him into the ringside steps! Then into the post! Morbid appears to be fully blinded, and his skull is split wide open, spilling the proverbial crimson mask down his threatening countenance.

Doc rolls Morbid into the ring and follows him, bloody footsteps tracked across the canvas everywhere they go. Morbid sits up and gasps for air, AND D’VILLE LOCKS IN THE 302!!!! IT’S FULLY ON, PUSHING THE GLASS DUST EVEN FURTHER INTO MORBID’S SKIN!!!! MORBID IS IN DANGER!!!!

Morbid Angel slumps to the canvas and the referee moves in to check him.

Just then…


“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”


The crowd coos in adorable unison and we see on the X-Tron that one of the Dobermans just gave birth to a litter of puppies in the ring! The referee squeaks in cuteness and crawls over to the natal scene, and D’Ville looks over in disgust.

Doc releases the completely unconscious body of Morbid Angel and stomps over to the referee, shoving him aside and screaming at him to end the match… then he sees the puppies.

Doc’s cheek flaps open again as he smiles, then grabs two of the newborn pups in his hands and looks at them.

Then squeezes.

The puppies whimper and struggle, but they have no strength to fight back against the maniacal doctor.

The crowd members scream in horror as Doc continues to strangle the tiny infant Dobermans, kicking away the attempts of the adult dogs to intervene. D’Ville walks to a corner and scales the turnbuckles, holding the puppies in his fists over his head as their struggles weaken.

AVALANCHE SPLASH FROM BEHIND!!!! Morbid slams into Doc, and the two puppies fly out of his grip onto the floor. They’re probably fine, let’s not look over there.

Morbid slams Doc’s face into the turnbuckles repeatedly and with a hellish furor, then straddles the corner himself… he pulls the Doc up into the air…

SATAN’S FALL!!!!!



Doc’s neck made a loud snapping noise as the top rope tombstone landed in the center of the ring! Morbid leaps on top of him and the referee count…









1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







































2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






































The lights go out!





































The arena is pitch black, and then suddenly a wall of flame erupts around the ring, climbing high to the tops of the cage and obscuring everything within! Nothing can be seen but the towering inferno!









Which then subsides.




And the lights resume.




And the ring….







…. Is empty.








The referee looks everywhere, slipping around in blood, glass, ash, dog guts and placenta, but neither competitor is anywhere to be found.

Eventually, the ref leans out of the ring and shouts something to the timekeeper…. And the bell rings!


DEWEY: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being told that the match has been declared a DRAW as a result of both men completely vanishing!







Felix Braddock
- vs -
Ghost Tank
Standard match.





"Ah, hey~"

"Ah, hey~"

"Ah, hey~ 'ey~"

Kanye West's "Power" blasts over the PA system and the X-Tron comes to life, displaying the insignia of The Union. The Americans in the audience instinctively boo at the sight of UK Pride, drowning out Yeezus' dope bars. Once the King Crimson sample hits the speakers, bellowing "Twenty-first century schizoid man," Felix and Meredith Braddock emerge from behind the curtain; Felix clad in black boxing robe covering his wrestling attire, Meredith in a low-cut blouse and cut-off denim shorts. The pair walk down the ramp, soaking in the negative reaction from the fiercely jingoistic American crowd. At the ringside area, Felix sheds the robe and hands it to Meredith, who folds it up and sets it by the timekeeper's area before taking her place at ringside. Felix ascends the steps and hops over the ropes, throwing a series of jabs at the air to warm himself up.



The sound of metal scraping against the ground rings through the arena. As the lights begin to brighten, it reveals the source, as he wears shackles around his ankles and wrists, with the chain connecting the two scraping along the ground. he then yanks his arms apart in a lowercase t, and follows it up with yanking the ankle shackles off. Once down he rushes to the ring, leaping over the top rope, rolling forward and springing up to his feet. He then pounds his chest as he lets out a roar.


The bell went off and the two men dogged each other and started to circle one another and before long the two rushed and started to trade blows in the middle of the ring, Felix being the better striker got the upper hand and got Tank into one of the corners and kept beating him done, but as Braddock was going to hit him with the final blow, Ghost caught Felix's fist with his hand and pushed him away, the British man flew back and landed on his ass, Tank got up and stalked his prey, he picked up Braddock over his head and hit a gorilla press gutbuster, the impact caused Felix to lose his breath as he held his mid section. Ghost Tank smirked as he walked over to bring Braddock to his feet but was caught in the face with an uppercut straight to the chin of the big man, which made him stumble backwards and into the rope. Felix didn't let up, he ran and jumped into the air and hit a Flying Forearm to the face of Ghost Tank which busted open his nose and blood started to tickle down his face, but the monster didn't let it faze him. He grabbed the wanker by his throat with two hands and lifted him into the air and hit him with a double handed chockslam, Ghost Tank quickly went for the pin.

1
.
.
2-Kickout

Ghost Tank stood up and started to yell at the ref saying it was three but the black and white shook his head and held up two fingers. Ghost Tank flipped him off and went back to handle Felix but was met with a dropkick to the knee, which made the big guy fall down onto one knee, Felix ran and hit the ropes and hit Tank with a hard Lariat, Felix mounted the man and started to unleash a fury of punches to the face but after a few punches, Ghost Tank grabbed the head of Braddock and gave him a wicked headbutt and got him off of him. Tank got to his face and took hold of Felix and pick him up into a suplex but he didn't drop him right away, he kept the Brit in the air and showed off his strength and then slammed him down onto the mat.

Ghost Tank went to get Felix to his feet but got a thumb to the eye for his troubles. The ref didn't see the act. Tank held his eye and yelled out in rage, Braddock used this opportunity and wrapped his arms around Tank from behind and hit him with a German suplex with a pinning bridge.

1
.
.
2
...Kickout!

They two struggled to get to their feet but Ghost Tank was the first up, he grabbed Felix by the head and started to headbutt him repeatedly.

WHACK!
.
.
WHACK!
.
.
WHACK!
.
.
WHACK!
.
.
WHACK!

Ghost Tank let the British man go and they both fell down to the mat. Felix's forehead was bleeding now and he was now wearing a crimson mask. The ref looked at the two and waited for a moment before he started to count.

1
.
.
2
.
.
3
.
.
4
.
.
5
.
. The two started to get up slowly, Felix whipped his face of the blood and started to slap his face to get focused again. He's head was spinning but the crowed was getting into the fight. It was split down the middle, one half cheering for Ghost Tank to get up and the other half going for Felix Braddock. The two were feeding off the energy of the people.

7
.
.
8
.
.
THEY BOTH GOT TO THEIR FEET! Holy shit and just in the nick of time but Ghost Tank was still dazed a little and that gave Felix the time he need to rush the man, Felix jumped up and threw a Superman punch but Ghost Tank somehow dodged it and BOOM! The limey bastard hit the ref in the fact so hard it knocked him out. Braddock shook his head and then shrugged as if he didn't a flying fuck. As he turned around to take on Ghost Tank, he was met by ZEKE THE MOTHER FUCKING FREAK! Holy shit! What will the British fucker do now? It's two on one now and Felix Braddock was out numbered. What was he going to do? Felix narrowed his eyes, he wasn't going to back down. A proud British man would never back down from to like Ghost Tank and his butt buddy Zeke. Braddock went on the offensive and ran at the two. He was quicker, more so then the two big guys. Felix jumped up and hit a knee to the throat of Zeke, he fell down holding his neck, trying to breathe. Ghost Tank went to grab Felix but he moved out of the way and then kicked Tank's knee a few times, Ghost Tank grunted in pain. Felix locked in a Muay Thai clinch on Tank and unleashed knees to the face of the man nicknamed Death. He kept striking over and over again, trying to knock him out but he was stopped when he was grabbed from behind and picked up by none other then Zeke the Freak. He lifted him over his head and throw him down to the mat hard. Felix got the wind knocked out of him. Ghost Tank and his buddy were now standing over the fallen man and stomped away at him for a few moments. Ghost Tank told Zeke to bring the British cunt to his feet. He did as he was told and brought the beaten and bloody man up to stand.

Tank walked over with a shit eating grin and soon locked in a standing Death's List(Guillotine Choke) Zeke let go and started to clap as if the victory was in sight, but Braddock being trained in MMA was able to get out of the hold and pushed Tank away. Braddock didn't let it his freedom go to waste. He hit Tank right in the face with The Money Shot, He used the last of his power to turn in time to catch Zeke the Freak as he came to strike him from behind. Felix popped him right in the chin with his trademark Phantom Punch or did he? No one saw it but Zeke fell to the ground with so much force he shook the ring. Braddock tired, couldn't keep his legs from buckling out from under him and he to fell down to the mat out of breath and weak. Now all three men, as well as the ref were laid out. Felix manages to crawl on top of Ghost Tank, and goes for a pin.

1




2




3


DEWEY: Your winner is Felix Braddock! And I want a sammich.







Dillinger

- vs -
Chris Chaos
Intercontinental Title Match
Hospital Room Brawl
Match takes place in a Cuban Hospital Room.
Xtreme Rules



Dillinger is standing in the hospital room waiting for Chris Chaos, who seems to be missing. Dillinger is walking around the room, picking things up and looking at them. And then, Dillinger pops up from the hospital bed screaming. Dillinger blinks and then throws a bedpan right at Chris' head. Chaos hits the bed again, and Dillinger is ontop of him in a second. He's pounced on top of the veteran, and begins to lay into him with a series of punches. Chaos is laughing as Dillinger does this. He's readied himself for the moment. He lives to take down men named Dillinger. Dillinger is laughing as well. He grabs a lamp from the side of the table next to the bed, and slams it directly down on top of Chaos' head. Chaos has other plans, though. He shakes it off, and grabs the cord from the lamp, and rips it, exposing wires, which he touches to Dillinger's chest. This sends the Psycho Sensation into a fit, and also sends a current through Chaos himself. Both men convulse until the wire drops due to Chaos' shaking.

Dilly gets off of him, and holds his shoulder where he was injured going through Vince's windshield on Monday. Chaos sees this, and gets to his feet grabbing the Bed pan from before. Dillinger looks at Chris Chaos and prepares to defend himself. Chaos swings right with the pan, Dewey blocks, but leaves his left open as Chaos brings up the pipe he was concealing, across the injured shoulder. Dilly goes down, and hard. Chaos is on his feet still, and begins to bring the pipe down across the downed foe. His pipe repeatedly smashing the torso of Dillinger, who is trying to cover his throat and head. This leaves his ribs open to the punishment that Chaos is bringing. Dillinger rolls to the side, and accidentally rolls on his bad shoulder. This allows Chaos to bring the pipe down on the other shoulder. Dillinger keeps trying to roll out of the way, but there's no escaping the pain that Chris is bringing down. Dillinger finds something on the ground, and uses it to deflect one of the pipe swings. This staggers Chaos, and allows Dillinger to get to his feet, and throw a solid blow right into the face of his attacker. Chaos tries to shake it off, but is caught in the face with a second one. And then a third. And then Dillinger brings the bed pan that saved his life up to meet the side of Chaos' head. Which knocks Chris sideways. He collapses onto a table in the room, and crushes it. A nurse comes in and sees this and shrieks. She's trying to figure out what's going on, but Dilly doesn't give her time before throwing a blade through her throat. She falls on top of the body of Chris Chaos. Dillinger laughs as he walks over to the dead cuban and retrieves his blade. He wipes the spic blood off with Chaos' hair before plunging it inside of Chaos' side.

The Veteran lets out a howl as the blade slides into his flesh, but not before rolling, and using his elbow to break Dillinger's hold on the knife. He kicks Dillinger back, and stands up, he pulls the blade out, licks his own blood, and moves over to where Dillinger is laying. Dilly starts to get to his feet, but Chaos stabs him in the leg with the knife. No reaction from Dillinger as Chris picks up a broken piece of table, and begins to slam it onto Dillinger's leg. Over and over. He then pulls the knife out, and throws it on the bed. Dillinger starts to stand up as Chris backs off. Only to get smashed in the head by the hunk of wood, and collapse on the ground again. Chris starts to stomp on Dilly's chest, and laugh. Dillinger laughs too, but not for the reasons that Chris is expecting. He prepares another stomp, but Dillinger stops it with another blade going into Chris' heel. Chris backs up and holds grabs his foot, the blade still stuck in it. Dillinger seizes the moment to stand up and look directly into Chris Chaos' eyes.

"Remember this moment. The moment your career changes, Christine."

Dillinger then slams Chris back into a wall and laughs as he picks up the pipe that was previously dropped. He limps over to where Chaos is standing, and hammer fists Chris in the eye with the pipe in hand. Chris throws his hand up to his eye, and Dillinger pulls the hand back with his free hand. He looks at for a second, and then throws it free, limp. Without pausing, he presses the pipe into his hand, and pushes them both against the wall. Holding it in place with his knee, he grabs it with his hands, and bends it to the right until the wrist breaks. Chris looks down at the limp piece of meat hanging from his arm with his good eye, the other one swollen shut. Dillinger drops his knee, and picks up the pipe. He smashes it directly into Chaos's skull again, and then repeats this. Both men are pouring blood, and still battling. Dillinger raises his pipe once more, but Chris uses all of his massive frame to shove himself free. Chris is still holding the blade he had removed from his heel and looks at it as he stomps over towards D'Marco. Both men lock eyes, Dilly expecting to murdered with his own blade, grabs something to defend himself with. Instead Chris drops the knife. Dilly's eyes go wide at this, not sure what to expect from this. Chris is standing right in front of Dillinger and grabs him by the back of the head with his good hand, he brings it down to meet his knee, an then shoves Dillinger to the ground. Dilly rolls onto his back, holding his busted open nose and watches as Chaos digs through the cabinet Dilly was pressed against. Chaos pulls out materials and splints up his wrist, before using a length of gauze to wrap his eye up.

Dillinger watches this as Chaos turns back around to face him. Dillinger slowly getting up, while Chris nods at him. He walks over to the bed while Dillinger moves to the cabinet and finds gauze inside. He wraps and tapes his leg, while Chris sits there. Dillinger turns around to meet his opponent, this time Chris has the advantage as he presses his splinted hand against Dilly's gut, a shoot pain soaring through the Psycho's body. He looks down to see blood flowing. Chris slams Dillinger's head into the cabinet and then steps back. The knife that Dilly first drew still resting inside of his abdomen. Chris laughs and turns to walk out of the room. Dillinger stands there in shock as he pulls the blade out of his stomach, and begins to wrap it up. Chris is halfway down the hallway when Dillinger has made his way out of the room. He finds a wheel chair and plops down in it, rolling towards his foe. Chris hears this and turns around. He starts looking for something. A fire extinguisher. He grabs it, removes the pin and sprays its contents in the hall, distracting the view, and hopefully aiding in his plan to ambush Dillinger. Something bumps his leg. It's the wheelchair. He swings the extinguisher and slams it directly into someone's head.

His plan is working, success! He continues to bash the body until the smoke clears, and it's the a random nurse he's beating. Dillinger pops up behind him with another extinguisher and whacks Chris in the head with it. He goes down, and Dilly collapses for a pin.

1



2











3




Dilly has won! Dilly manages to get a win before passing out.






Unknown Soldier
- vs -
Michael "McPotato" McBride

Xtreme Title Match.
Xtreme Rules match.




The Blood of Cuchulainn hits over the P.A. system. Michael walks out ready to fight as he checks his gloves. He walks down the ramp and to the steel steps and walks up them. Once at the top he stops and turns around and looks at the crowd and smirks before he steps between the ropes and leans back on the nearest corner, lights up a cigarette and waits for the match to start.



"Hail Satan" by Crucifyre blares over the Xtron system"

Unknown Soldier and Greggo come prancing down towards the ring, skipping and frolicking two and fro. Sometimes just holding the others hand but most of the time holding the others penis. Unknown Soldier then prays to SATAN! in the middle of the ring while a red pentagram traces him from above in the rafters. The red disco lights tracing the pentagram around Soldier continues to encircle him constantly in a counter clockwise motion. While standing in the center of this pentagram of glowing lights, he kneels and touches both his shoulders and forehead as a sign of the Unholy trinity. In the name of the Liar, the Sinner, and the great father and lord of all that is Evil! Soldier then gets up and strokes his penis exactly 666 times getting faster and faster as the lights around him speed up in pace as well. He always wrestles with a full on raging erection for not only the increase in testosterone, but also as a scare tactic towards McBride.


The two walk to the middle of the ring, McBride takes a drag on his cigarette, only to exhale the smoke into Soldier's face. Soldier stands firm, eyes wide open as the smoke washes over his eyeballs. In manly fashion, Soldier grabs McBride's hand, pulls it, then bites the lit cigarette in half, only to spit the still lit end straight into McBride's face, hitting him straight in the left eye!

The ref calls for the bell to start the match as Soldier begins to unload a barrage of fists into McBride's face, who is recovering from having his eye burned by his own cigarette! Soldier goes to the top turnbuckle in the bottom left side of the ring, and McBride is still recovering. Soldier leaps off the turnbuckle and... HE HITS MCBRIDE WITH THE DARK STAR! He goes straight for a pin as the ref slides into place for the count!

1!

2!

2 and three quarters!

KICK OUT!

McBride kicks out, but he stays on the ground, trying to rub his eye as if to make it feel better. Soldier takes this time to cover McBride again!

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

McBride decides if his eye doesn't want to work, then fuck it! As he kicks out, he rolls up onto Soldier, knees him in Daddy's Little Satan Soldiers, then begins to unload his own barrage of fists into Soldier's face! He pulls out a combat knife from his inside his pants, out of its sheathe. He goes to stab Soldier, who had recovered quick enough and catches McBride's wrist with his left hand. Michael applies more pressure, by pushing down with BOTH hands now, only for Soldier to do the same and began to push against McBride. As he does so, he licks the blade, causing himself to bleed, before pushing hard enough to send McBride up and onto his back. Soldier then mounts Michael, takes his knife out of his hand and begins to stab at McBride with it! Another cock shot, as McBride takes one hand to keep himself from being stabbed, and the other does the punch straight into Soldier's pork 'n' beans.

Soldier gets off of McBride, but having enough mental wherewithal to toss the knife away, so there wouldn't be a third struggle. He then rolls away from McBride, and both of them slowly get up onto their feet. They both instantly charge one another, and they both go for a spear! Instead of either getting hit in the guts, they both graze each other's heads, and they end up hurting their shoulders as well. Both having now cut themselves with the clash, and they fall onto their knees,sides of their skulls starting to slowly bleed. McBride swings his arm, hitting Soldier with a reverse elbow shot to the jaw, but Soldier responds with an uppercut! The hard shot dazes McBride, who then starts to stand up, grabbing his jaw, only for Soldier to jump up, wrap his legs around McBride's head, and performs a hurricanrana, sending McBride flying!

He keeps up going on the offensive, moving to grab and pull up McBride, and he scoop slams the Irish man, before moving to the top rope. As he climbs, McBride begins to try and gather himself and get up quickly. As Soldier is up top, perched on the top turnbuckle, McBride rushes in, pushes his legs apart, and for the third time in the match, McBride has caused harm to Satan's Little Helpers. McBride climbs up, as Soldier grabs his groin in agony, McBride jumps up, and...

Holy hell! McBride falls and both feet clash into the back of Soldier's skull, and effect forces Soldier's body to bend so badly, as if he was a yoga master, to slam his head into the middle turnbuckle, and instead of flopping into the ring, Soldier falls off to the side, his back slamming into the side of the ring, then falling out of the ring, close to the apron.

McBride takes a breather, expecting a ten count, but due to the X-Treme Rules, only a pinfall or submission would cause a W inside the ring. He slides out of the ring, over to the ring announcer's table, grabbing a bottle of water from the time keeper's area right next to the announcers. He opens the eye that had been burned and pours the water into his eye, flooding the socket, then bending over so the water washes out. He would pour the water in his eye a couple of times, washing out the ashe, and try to soothe the burn. During this time, Soldier had been recovering himself, but still not ready to continue the fight. McBride, now relieved of the burning, and regaining a bit of vision back, he goes over to where Soldier is laid out. However Soldier would be ready, and McBride would be hit in the mid-section with a kick, and Soldier would stand up quickly, and with the momentum, he swung what he had grabbed from under the ring: a razor-wired bat! The bat would swing straight into the mini Irish Pussy Bombers, giving McBride a taste of his own nut attacking medicine!

Soldier begins to unload on McBride, slamming the bat into McBride time and time again! Each clash of bat to body, would tear not only clothes off McBride, but parts of flesh, not only causing him to bleed, but to also bruise badly! Soldier eventually grew tired of the bat, and moved under the ring, and would pull out...

An actual fucking sink?! And unlike WWE, Soldier uses the damn thing, and slams it, time and time again, causing McBride to shout out in pain! As Soldier attempted to break McBride's leg, McBride would kick him hard, causing the sink to collide with face, and it forced Soldier backwards hard enough, his skull would slam into the steel ring post! The force caused not only the sink to fall with a heavy thud, but the back of Soldier's skull to be split open!

Soldier continues to stand, though, and McBride slowly gets to his feet as a dazed Soldier rests against the steel pole, and McBride gathers enough strength to rush towards Soldier, and deliver a hard received Stinger Splash! Taking a move out of Soldier's playbook! It knocks Soldier into the post once again! The steel coated in Soldier's blood! McBride grabs Soldier, and flings him into the ring and then sliding in after him. He begins his slow ascent to the top turnbuckle, with Soldier still dazed and bleeding.

McBride leaps off the turnbuckle, arms spread out as if trying to fly, and he lands head first into McBride's! It yet another gash to open up on both Soldier's head and his own as well! Both men now writhing in pain! However McBride is first to get up, by performing a sloppy kip-up, and stumbling as he lands on his feet. Soldier begins to get up off the ground, his hair shiny and tinted crimson from the blood loss.

McBride watches Soldier get up, and once Soldier is nearly completely upright, he would rush and bounce off the ropes, and deliver one of the hardest Celtic Clotheslines he's ever performed in his life to Soldier, causing the man to flip one and a half times, landing on his face! McBride goes to Soldier, picking him up, puts Soldier's bloodied head between his legs, and lifts his lower body as if to deliver a piledriver, which he does, but it's the McBride Driver!

Right after it's done, he breathlessly drapes his upper body on top of Soldier's chest, and the ref slides in to count!

1!






2!



















3!

WAIT! NO!

At the very last nanosecond, Soldier lifts his shoulder up! The match continues on! Both men bleeding, exhausted, and giving their complete fucking all! McBride gets a look of 'COME THE FUCK ON! WHAT DO I FUCKING HAVE TO DO!?' upon his face! In his anger, he rolls Soldier onto his stomach, then he makes his way to Soldier's lower body and grabs Soldier by the left leg, and then slaps on the Wicklock! Soldier instantly rolls onto his back, and kicks McBride into the nearby corner hard enough to cause the air to blow out of McBride's lungs! Soldier stands up onto his feet, wobbly from blood loss, but uses the adrenaline coursing through his body to give a loud "WOOOOO!" in honor of Sting as he runs and then delivers a hard Stinger Splash into McBride!

He pulls McBride out of the corner, who falls straight down onto his face. Soldier slides out of the ring, grabs the bat, grabs a ladder, grabs a chair, grabs even the fucking sink! He tosses them into the ring as he runs off pure adrenaline, not letting his body succumb to the blood loss! Only a fucking lets a little bit of blood loss make him weak! So he would set the items up, with the ladder laid flat across the ring, the chair set up in a specific manner so it was set up perfectly on the ladder, then came the sink, facing up, and then finally, the coup de grâce, the bat is set to lay down on top of the sink. McBride was beginning to stand up, and Soldier delivered several headbutts damn near knocking McBride out with the harsh skull on skull contacts!

Soldier runs to the opposite side of the ring, leaps up to the top turnbuckle, ignoring all the pain he has received throughout the match, wanting to give the biggest, baddest end to their match. He leaps high into the air, and he delivers THE DARK STAR! HOLY FUCK! McBride's head crashes into razor wire, wood, porcelain, steel, and then crashes hard onto the thickest part of the steel ladder! Soldier is not without injury himself, having caught some of the razor wire, and landing him and shoulder onto the ladder, however, he crawls in agonizing pain to crawl on top of McBride's seemingly bloodied lifeless body, mustering only his right arm to drape across McBride's chest and shoulders! The ref slides in, and begins to count!

ONE!



























TWO!


































THREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

The ref calls for the bell! Soldier has absolutely destroyed McBride, but not without amassing a huge shit ton of injury himself as medics rush to the ring to attend to the fallen wrestlers.






In Frodo's office Bearded War Pig walks in, and stands while Frodo looks him up and down.

"Ok, dude. You're an American Hero, right? Don't answer. You're gonna fight Morbid Angel after you're out of the tag title tournament. In an American Pride match. The Russian Dick Collector vs the American Hero. Can you do it? Don't care, you are. Go."

War Pig leaves as the scene fades out.

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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[-] The following 9 users Like Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post:
(09-01-2016), Dillinger (09-01-2016), Doctor Louis D'Ville (09-01-2016), drezdin5788 (09-04-2016), Morbid Angel (09-02-2016), Peter Fn Gilmour (09-01-2016), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (09-01-2016), The Monster of Htaed (09-01-2016), Vincent Lane (09-01-2016)
Prof. Bobby Bourbon Offline
Mad Scientist



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#2
09-01-2016, 06:45 PM

We see Robbie Bourbon backstage, once again being attended to by medics. His left eye is swollen shut, and a medic is at work sewing a gash over it shut. Robbie is grinning ear to ear. Melissa Elizabeth Santos, formerly of Savage Saturday Night, approaches Robbie.

Mr. Bourbon...

Robbie. Mr. Bourbon sounds like a shitty drinking game you'd get at Spencer's

Robbie, what are your thoughts now that you have defeated your former partner, Pest, and now are the number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship?

Thoughts? Melissa, I just tore the god damned house down in the most brutal submission match in history after getting mugged by almost everyone living in Cuba. I'm not thinking, I'm riding an adrenaline high so strong...

Blue walks in and gently places her hand on Robbie's shoulder.

I'll deal with your adrenaline, honey bear. Melissa, Robbie has no further comment.

I have one thing to say, babe.

Blue steps back.

Can't kill me because I scare the reaper, don't matter what brand the creeper. Don't look on, get pissy, and scorn, I'm your Grendel motherfucker, no man of woman born. One belt, two belts, I holler, your face melts, fight in a singlet or fight in your pelt, won't keep me down no matter how much damage dealt, now excuse us Melissa, this doctor is attending to a fresh welt. [/color]

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
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Peter Fn Gilmour Offline
the man with the SUPER DICK



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


#3
09-01-2016, 07:40 PM

time to get xtreme title #14!!!

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
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