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Felix Braddock · (07-25-2016)

Hello, Oswald. Yeah, I know - that's not the name you go by in the ring but let's be real here: Ghost Tank has to be silliest ring name I've heard in my entire life. It's like a parody of professional wrestling by someone who's never watched it in their life. Though it isn't like your real name is much better - good thing your parents left you all that money to make up for it.

I'm Felix. Braddock, that is. You might know me from such films as "effete twink deep throats lounge lizard's meaty sausage" and "oh wait if he's poking fun at the gay jokes does that mean I can't go to that well?". The answer to that second one is yes - you'll look like a fucking hack if you do. Though, you're no stranger to that at all, are you? Silly me, asking all these questions that you won't answer as you'll probably run from this letter too, like you do with all of your problems.

Once you realize no one's scared of you. Once you realize your money doesn't impress anyone despite your pathological desire to be liked and respected and feared. And it's never your fault that you fail at securing these simple things, is it?

After all, you deserve a shot at Scully. You deserve it so very much. Never mind the fact that the last time you faced him, you had a numerical advantage and still couldn't put him down. Never mind the fact that he beat Vinnie Lane - an accomplishment you could never hope to achieve.

You and your little stable deserve a shot at the tag titles, despite the fact that the group of followers you have behind you are so ineffectual that the only way you and your cronies could ever get one is by extorting Peter Gilmour.

You've beaten so many people that you deserve respect - but let's just forget the part where they're all, by your own admission, little more than mere bitches.

Come on, Oswald.

Look at my record - I should be easy pickings for a big bad man like you.

Fight me, coward.

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