"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

We fade in from blackness that'd make the city of Baltimore blush to the , high pitched screeching of Shaun Crowe. As that blackness gets gentrified the fuck outta existence, it's replaced by an obnoxiously extreme close up of Shaun's face. The realest wigger in the room is decked out in ice with fake cubic zirconia all in the shades he has on to cover up his two black eyes (where dey at doe?). The swag doesn't stop there however, as you, the ever so astute viewer, can also make out a bit of the gold-painted plastic-ass chain he's got around his neck.

"IT'S YA BOI Shaun Crowe here, fresh off 'a dat X-Dubba-F debut and bros, I gotta ask one question and one muhfuckin question only. WHAT DA FUCK WAS THAT SHIT? Dat hashtag weak nigga Shade fuckin' shot me wit' da same gun he shot up his school with! What da muthafuck is dat shit?"

Shaun huffs and puffs and pouts like a whiny little for a couple 'a seconds before shaking his damn fuckin head and getting back on his get money fukkk da haters grind.

"BUT I AIN'T ABOUT THAT PITY SHIT FAM! Nah nah nahnahnah, see I been in da gym wit' mah boy Frodo--"

Cut to a dirty grimy condemned lookin ass gym where we see a quick clip of Frodo Smackins smashing a plastic garbage can down on a prone Shaun Crowe, while Shaun screams like a little girl.

"Shut up ."

Cut back to our previous setting, which we can't even see because Shaun's face covers every inch of the screen.

"Ya know, gettin' swole, liftin' big weights call me the white Ronnie Coleman. Gettin' swole like da welts on my chest from dem fukkkin BBs. Gettin' fresh to death and ready to fukkk Kid Kool's whole day up. Das right nigga I see ya. On dat 80s grind like it ain't 2016 fuckin Ramen Noodle lookin ass like nigga step dafukkk into dis century. Frodo's been trainin' me nigga--"

Cut back to the gym, where we see dat GM with da big ol' dick giving the Y O U N G B O Y Shaun Crowe a wet willy.

"Gettin' me in ring shape to take on a throwback like yaself. Look in da fukkkin mirror boy, ya think ya got anythin' on me? With ya greasy ass hair and LGBT supportin' wardrobe lookin' like ya just stepped out a Village People music video. Get real, bruh. Dat shit ain't fly no more and I'm callin' it right now. Ya goin down in da fukkkin first round 'a dis shit and ya ain't gonna get back up. Frodo's taught me--"

Cut back to the gym, where Frodo and Shaun are sitting at a table having a tea party. Frodo then grabs some 'a dat fine china and smashes it over Shaun's head.

"How ta deal with fags like ya. Buhleedat."

The camera cuts again, but this time not to dat fukkkin gym. Nah, now we see the inside of Shaun Crowe's FUCKMANSION cheap ass apartment in Chiraq, Hellanois East Moline, Illinois. Crushed Monster cans and empty Sprite bottles line the floor alongside smashed Sudafed boxes and Jolly Rancher wrappers. A cabbage sits on a dirty glass coffee table and some sheets of lined paper sit next to the cabbage. Shaun steps into frame and squats by the table, mouth wide open so y'all can see his grill. Admire dat shit fags. Dis dat reel shit y'all only dream about.

"IT'S YA BOI Shaun Crowe back addit again wit' da White Vans."

Cut to Frodo's preferred method of transportation.

Cut back to YA BOI.

"Now I done heard a lotta shit about dis new shit, niggas callin it FLAKKA and shit. Sayin it fukkks wit ya head n ya body n basically kills niggas. Now I don't know if y'all is aware, but I happen to have a PhD in REAL NIGGA SHIT so I decided I'd fukkks wit dis shit rite here-UH and see if it is as bad as dey say it izzzz."

YA BOI rips a leaf off a dat cabbage and tears dafukkk up before placing it on a sheet of lined paper. He sloppily rolls that shit into the ugliest fukkkin blunt ever, of all time before pressing one end 'a dat down syndrome lookin ass blunt into his mouth and sparking it up with a DORA DA MUHFUCKIN EXPLORA lighter. He takes a big ass drag before throwin' his back on dat slow motion shizzz. He stares off into space wit' a distant-ass look in his eyes as R. Kelly's classic "I Believe I Can Fly" plays in da background.

We're treated to another close up on dis ugly nigga's mug as he mumbles the lyrics to the anthem of a fukkkin generation and stumbles over to the window and climbs onto the windowsill.

"I CAN FLY NIGGA!"

Cut to the alley da window looks out into where we see dat boi JESUS (oshit waddup) standin, lookin all holy and shit.

"Don't jump!"

Lil' Jeezy den rips his fukkkin beard off and tosses it on da ground, revealin' to da world dat he really Frodo Smackins.

"Yo fuck this."

Cut back to Shaun's apartment where we see Frodo, still dressed as Lil Jeezy minus da beard, whipping dafukk outta Shaun with his belt while Shaun's couch burns cuz dat didn't snuff out his blunt.

Fade to Baltimore black again while we hear the sound of belt meeting skin, screamin', and fire cracklin'.