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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! Results
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Shove It Weekend 3/20 pt 2
Author Message
John Msdison 2.Faggot
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XWF FanBase:
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#1
03-20-2016, 07:27 PM


Welcome back to Shove It Weekend!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Wew, I feel refreshed now after that intense first hour. I've got my Jack and Coke, and I'm ready to call this thing.

Mike Stump: Yeah, I have to drink mine from a straw seeing as how I have no arms. That's life, I guess.

Gaylord Cockchafer: I'm sorry, man. Do you want me to hold the cup to your mouth or something?

Mike Stump: Leave me alone Faglord.

Gaylord Cockchafer: Umm, it's Gaylord, sir.

Mike Stump: Sorry, I definitely meant to say that...

Gaylord Cockchafer: Okay. Well let's get to our next match since Balaque Negar has nothing to report on backstage. Alexis Riot is set to take on Ophelia McVeigh in a single match.

Alexis Riot
VS
Opelia McVeigh

Singles Match

Ophelia and Riot lock up in the center of the ring as Ann-Thraxxx McVeigh cheers for her boyfriend from ringside. She looks sexy tonight in her chain mail blouse. Ophelia Irish whips Riot into the corner and goes after her for a corner splash, but Riot kicks her feet up and boots Ophelia in the mouth. Riot then props herself onto the second rope and takes down Ophelia with a beautifully done Sling Blade! Riot pins him.

1

2


3- NO- KICK OUT!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Wow! Riot almost ended it early there.

Ophelia rolls out of the ring and meets up with his girlfriend Ann-Thraxxx for some words of encouragement. She bites his face, slaps him around, and tells him to get back in the ring. Ophelia tries to enter but Riot lunges at him and drop kicks him off of the apron and into his girlfriend on the outside! Riot then dives off the top rope and lands on both of them on the outside with a plancha!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Wow, Riot's not going to bullshit around with these two, tonight!

Mike Stump: Well, I mean, neither was Ann-Thraxxx McVeigh. She fucking bit her dude as motivation for fuck's sake.

Riot throws Ophelia into the ring and then throws Ann-Thraxxx back-first into the steel fan railing. Riot then enters the ring but Ophelia catches her coming in with stomps to the back of the head. Ophelia backs her into the corner and chops her on the tits. He chops beyond the ref's 5 count before being pulled off of Riot. Ophelia takes Riot by the hair and delivers a standing drop kick in the center of the ring. He then lands on top of her with a running shooting star press followed by a pin.

1

2


Riot kicks out!

Ophelia takes Riot, again by the hair, and props her onto the top rope. He walks up and sets up Riot for the superplex, but Riot shoves him down. Riot then leaps off and takes Ophelia out with a hurricanrana! Riot maintains her mount and pins down both of Ophelia's legs.

1

2

Ophelia reverses the pin by rolling up Riot!

1

2

Riot breaks free after kicking Ophelia with both feet.

Both competitors get up at the same time and Riot rocks Ophelia back with a right hand to the jaw. Riot then catches Ophelia with a small package.

1

2




Kick out!

Both competitors up once more and this time Ophelia knocks back Riot with a punch to the face. Ophelia runs off the ropes and hits a running basement drop kick,taking out Riot at the knee caps. Ophelia continues to work over the knees of Riot, grabbing each ankle and stomping at the knee cap. Ophelia then locks in a Figure Four Leglock on Riot.

Gaylord Cockchafer: Ophelia is anything but a submission specialist but he knows when it's appropriate to break out these kinds of moves.

Mike Stump: You've got that right. Once you lose your legs, it's hard to maintain your footing in life.

Riot eventually catches a rope break and Ophelia utilizes the full 5 count.

Ophelia kicks away at Riot's legs every time she tries to recover. He then puts her throat first over the second rope and chokes her. Again, he uses the full 5 count for choking Riot. Riot finally recovers and meets Ophelia in the center of the ring where they trade punches. On the third exchange, Riot knocks down Ophelia with a lariat! Riot pins Ophelia

1

2


Shoulder up!

Riot drags Ophelia to just his knees and knocks him right back down with a superkick. Riot props Ophelia back up to a seated positions, run off the ropes, and punts him dead center on his spine. Riot then pulls him up to his feet using a front face lock and kicks off the corner with a tornado DDT on Ophelia. Riot goes to the top rope and waits for Ophelia to stand up. She goes for a diving attack but Ophelia side steps. Riot reacts fast by rolling through the dive. She turns around and nearly loses her head but ducks Ophelia's lariat and takes him out with That Chicago Move (Go To Sleep). Riot climbs to the top rope and jumps down on Ophelia with the Shooting Star Double Foot Stomp on Ophelia! Riot rolls him up!

1

2



3!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Riot wins with the double foot stomp and rides a huge wave of momentum into her match on Friday with Trax!

Mike Stump: I was impressed by Ophelia's effort, especially with his strategy of taking out Riot's knees. Trust me, if anyone understands the struggle of not being able to use your legs, it's me. I'd kill to have some weirdo put me in a figure four, but that's not going to happen any time soon, is it? IS IT?!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Mike... ugh, nevermind. It was a great match, let's just leave it at that. But, hey! Wait a darn minute!

Riot is on the top rope celebrating in front of her fans. She doesn't see Trax, who jumps the barricade and slide into the ring.

He whistles and Riot turns around....TRAP SILENCER! Riot goes down! Trax the picks her up lifting her on his shoulders, before running to the ropes and dumping her out with the ring with a bone shattering O.T.M! The fans boo Trax as he laughs and rolls out the ring grabbing a mic from ringside and standing over the unconscious Alexis Riot.

Trax: Just a small sampling of whats coming your way Riot, and Tush I hope you are watching because that was just a small demonstration of whats also coming YOUR way, "champ".

Trax drops the mic deliberately on Alexis's lady part before picking her up by the hair, slapping her, spitting on her, then finally rubbing his crotch with her face before dropping her back onto the ground and walking up the ramp to a hail of boos.

Gaylord Cockchafer: That's disgusting! How can he do that to a poor, defenseless woman?!

Mike Stump: I think you just answered your own question, Cockchafer. Men are strong, and women are defenseless towards them. Even in my current physical state, I don't have a problem with smackin' a bitch if she steps out of line.

Gaylord Cockchafer: What? How?! Nevermind. We have to move on... I'm being told by Balaque Negar that we have some footage to roll that was sent in by one of our newest talents. Let's see what happened.


E-unit appears on the Tron. A smile painted across his face. As the camera pans back. To show him in his office. He has on a track suit, and sips on a bottle of water. As the crowd boos erupt louder and louder.

E: (Cracks a smile) The feeling is mutual. I promise. I'd love to be there tonight, but I simply was not invited. Not to be detoured. I've been out for two Donald Trump rallies running a security team. Also unit security has been spotted at all March madness basketball games.

Crowd (chanting) F-u.....F-u.....F-u.....

E: Please show some respect. For the athlete of the decade. I could go on about all my successful endeavors. All my past accomplishments. However every one of them has been well documented. Now I turn my attention to this Friday. A man named Kid Kool came looking for a fight. Just sad to say. He has been given an execution. It will not be quick and painless. It will however be brought to you by.

E reaches down under the desk. He pulls a plastic bag up and then into his lap. Digging into the sack he pulls out axe shampoo.

E: The new axe shampoo. I don't need it to pick up chicks, or beat the shit out of Kid Kool. However you do. What else do we have here. Oh the victory food. After I beat Kid Kools ass I'm going to work up an appetite. Taco Bell quesalupa the official victory food of E-unit!

A quick music bite plays. Cause all I do is win,win,win!!!

E: Which now brings me to Fantanna.

The crowd semi pops.

E: Is that as loud as you people can get. A half erection. This is Fantanna damn it.

Crowd doesn't get much more pumped.

E: All I got to tell Fantanna. Stay out of my way. Let me do my thing. Or you to will end up like Kid Kool. A victim of violence. Taken out by THE LORD OF THE RING.

The unit stands up unzips his jacket. Revealing his E-units victims of violence tee-shirts with victim profile of Kid Kool on the back. Get yours at E-unit.com as the feed is cut.



Gaylord Cockchafer: Well, there you have it. He's an arrogant little prick, isn't he?

Mike Stump: He made me hungry for a quesalupa... with EXTRA lava sauce. I'll definitely need someone to wipe my ass afterwards, though. What do you say, GC? I helped you out tonight, why don't you do the same for me?

Gaylord Cockchafer: Uh, we just met, dude. Let's just call the matches first and I'll buy you dinner at Taco Hell... But like Peter always says, we must digress! Let's move to our next match!

Austin Fernando
VS
Nico Levay

X-treme Rules
X-treme Title


Gaylord Cockchafer: We're all set for our next match as Fernando defends against Nico Levay!

Mike Stump: Balaque Negar wanted me to remind everyone at home that this match does NOT count as a title defense for Fernando... despite the fact that he's defending his title...

Gaylord Cockchafer: So if Fernando wins, just pretend like the match never happened since we like to be petty around here. That's right because fuck us for giving superstars another stage to perform their craft on!

Mike Stump: Take it easy, Gaylord, or I might end up getting a new announcing partner...

Gaylord Cockchafer: You're right, let's get on with this non-title defense title match brought to you buy the geniuses that run XWF!

Fern and Nico are ready to go in their separate corners. The ref calls for the bell and they go after each other. Nico pops Fern in the nose with an elbow strike and Fern counter attacks with a boxing jab, followed by an uppercut with his opposite hand. That puts Nico in the corner and allows Fern to thrust his shoulder into Nico's chest. Fern yanks Nico out of the corner and goes for a t-bone suplex but Nicro breaks free after striking Fern in the ear with his elbow. Nico then throws Fern into the ropes and catches him on the way back with a death valley driver. Nico pins Fern.

1

2

Kick out!

Nico slides out of the ring, feet first, and procures a steel chair from under the ring. He goes back in and tries to hit Fern with the chair but Fern kicks Nico in the stomach from below. Fern then steals the chair and hits Nico over the head with it. Fern then unfolds the chair and places it upright, and drops toe holds Nico' face first into it. Fern covers Nico.

1

2

Nico puts his foot on the bottom rope!

Fern takes the steel chair and begins to smother Nico with it. He's covering Nico's face with it and shifting all of his weight down on the chair. Fern then stands up and executes a leg drop on top of the chair.

Fern takes Nico and throws him over the top rope!

Fern follows up with a suicide dive but Nico side steps him and Fern crashes into the metal guard rail! Nice takes Fern and rams him chest-first over that same rail, and then dumps him into the first row of fans!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Uh oh, they're taking this fight into the crowd now. That's the same area that nearly went up in flames from North Korean War Criminal's flamethrower earlier.

Nico throws Fern into a row of vacated chairs, knocking them and the row behind them down. Nico grabs the nearest chair, folds it up, and hits Fern in the back with it as Fern tries to crawl away. Security has a good size bubble for these two to fight in as they hold back the fans. Nico kicks some chairs out of the way in order to make space. He takes Fern and gives him a full nelson slam on the concrete floor! Nico pins Fern.

1

2


Kick out!

Nico stands up and is gifted with a plastic cup of beer from a fan. Nico takes a drink from the beer and then pours the rest into Fern's face! Nico picks Fern up and goes for a piledriver on the concrete but Fern reverses it into a back body drop! Fern delivers a fist drop to a downed Nico and then throws in some more punches. Fern takes the nearest steel chair and wedges it into Nico's throat, choking him!

Fern begins to drag Nico by the arm through the crowd, in the direction of the concessions area of the arena. They make it to the merchandise stand where Fern picks up Nico and side slams him through a table that has stacks of Peter Gilmour t-shirts!

Gaylord Cockchafer: By God, he put him through a table covered in 100% XTREEEEME cotton! That's gonna hurt in the morning!

Fern takes one of the t-shirts and strangles Nico with it. Nico breaks free by throwing the back of his head into Fern's face. Nico then punches Fern back towards the food stand. Fern defends himself by throwing a bucket of popcorn into Nico's face. He spots an ice tea dispenser nearby, grabs it, and hits Nico in the face with it! Fern pins Nico

1

2


Kick out!

Fern begins to move Nico back to ringside now as a crowd of fans follow, cheering. Nico breaks free from Fern's grasp with an elbow strike and then tackles Fern into the wall. Nico begins to drag Fern as they enter into the floor section of the audience. Nico Irish whips Fern into the railing and sends Fern back to ringside. He grabs the steel steps and throws them down into the chest of Fern.

Nico goes for his next move but SUDDENLY

Mike L. Green walks out from the entrance way, wearing a pair of white vans. A voice then rings from the heavens, saying,

"DAMN MIKE GREEN! BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE WHITE VANS!"

Suddenly Mike L. Green points at Nico McVey, causing Nico to turn away from Austin Fernando in confusion. Green then pulls out a microphone from his ass cheeks and begins to speak.

"Ded U really tink dat U could steel mah theme song 2 use in ur dumb promo without permission? U want teh memes, U will git the Memes! NOW!"

Suddenly a portal opens from behind Nico. Nico turns around, only to be greeted by a certain face.


"IMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!"

The shoop the woop guy then fires a lazer beam from his mouth, striking Nico! The impact of the beam causes a explosion that can be seen from space!

When the smoke settles, the shoop the woop guy is gone, and there is no damage done to the ring or the crowd, although some fans have fainted from the intensity of the memes. Nico, however, lies on the canvas, charred up and motionless. This causes Green to give a good belly laugh.

"Dat's wat U git 4 trying 2 steel mah song! May U die of disease n00b!"

Mike L. Green then points at Austin Fernando, who quite frankly looks dumbfounded at what just happened.

"Shout out 2 a fellow MLG! Now pin the bastard n stay beautiful. BITCHES, CARRY ME OFF."

Suddenly, an army of topless hentai women run out with a giant throne. The Meme Machine then sits on the throne, fondles the breasts of one of the women, and then makes a hand signal. The girls then lift up the seated Meme Machine and carry him off backstage, leaving a confused Fernando and a #Rekt McVey in the ring.

Gaylord Cockchafer: Okay then...

Mike Stump: These are the people that you guys hire? I thought Warfare had all of the weird bullshit...

Fern shrugs and pins Nico with one foot.

1

2


Nico gets his shoulder up!

Fern pulls Nico in the center of the ring and applies an armbar!

Nico reaches out but is no where near a rope! Nico crawls forward with his arm still in a bind. Nico finally makes it to the rope and looks at the referee for a break... but there is none! It's X-Treme Rules! Nico resorts to crawling out of the ring in order to get out of the hold but Fern follows, kicks him in the shoulder, and reapplies the armbar on the outside! Nico grabs a cane with his free hand from under the ring and hits Fern over the head with it but Fern is not letting go! Blood begins to drip down Fern's forehead after the 4th shot with the cane. Fern releases the hold and switches over to Nico's other arm and locks in the armbar! Nico can't anymore, he finally taps out!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Nico went as far as he could but in the end he had to tap out.

Mike Stump: Hold that thought, because I think that Fernando still has a message to send out!

Fern is standing over Nico with the X-Treme Title around his waist. He wipes the blood off of his forehead and then slaps Nico across the face with that same hand.

Fern is then joined by his buddy Luca who brings some Singapore canes and a pair of handcuffs with him. They handcuff Nico's hands behind his back and then take turns beating on each of his arms with the canes! We lose count of how many times they hit him. They don't stop until their arms get tired.

Gaylord Cockchafer: What a display of poor sportsmanship by Ferngotti! They're double champions and unstoppable at this point in their careers.

Mike Stump: They can do whatever the hell they want, Gaylord. It doesn't matter how much money that management tries to throw at this weak willed locker room. Hell, the Gladiator fuckface could offer me a new set of limbs and I still wouldn't try to mess with Ferngotti.

Gaylord Cockchafer: Well, that's just sad. No one should be this powerful. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to get this cleaned up and return momentarily with our two main events!

Mike Stump: Yeah, so you folks at home who are fortunate enough can get up, stretch your legs, and have a smoke. Not me, though. Nope, I'll just be sitting here stretching my neck and counting the number of tiles on the ceiling. Fuck ya'll, someone bring me an ice cream cone.
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[-] The following 2 users Like John Msdison 2.Faggot's post:
Peter Fn Gilmour (03-21-2016), William W. Warren (03-20-2016)
Nico LaVey Offline
The Prince of Vice



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#2
03-21-2016, 01:12 AM

(03-20-2016, 09:36 PM)#IceKing Qrownando Said: "Nico LaVey, quitting like a little bitch.

CUE SURPRISED REACTION.

#Oh #Wait

There is no surprise, LMAO.

Just another fuccboi getting stomped."

You seriously call that getting stomped? God, you're such a tryhard. We had the match of the night, but to try to be annoying, you ignore the rest of the match (including Meme Machine's assistance) and call me a fuccboi. Congratulations! You've now used that word one million times! You win the Lifetime Achievement in Unoriginality!

As far as I'm concerned, It's all tied up between you, Luca and I. Let's finish it at Warfare. Nico LaVey w/ Ophelia LaVey at ringside vs. Both Members of Ferngotti at once. You win, I'll get a tattoo on my ass that says "Property of Ferngotti." I win, then I get your title and you two have to work as Ophelia and I's butlers for a whole month. How does that sound?

[Image: zTgZCuO.jpg]

Overall Record: 2-8-1.

1x Federweight Champion.

Shitlist: Izzy Ravenwolf, Nate Higgers.


“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.”
― Anatole France
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[-] The following 1 user Likes Nico LaVey's post:
Peter Fn Gilmour (03-21-2016)
Nico LaVey Offline
The Prince of Vice



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#3
03-21-2016, 01:17 AM

Also, I saw that graphic before the match. It's spelled "LaVey." It's not fucking hard.

[Image: zTgZCuO.jpg]

Overall Record: 2-8-1.

1x Federweight Champion.

Shitlist: Izzy Ravenwolf, Nate Higgers.


“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.”
― Anatole France
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Nico LaVey Offline
The Prince of Vice



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#4
03-21-2016, 11:31 AM

What's the matter, Fernando? Too much of a fuccboi pussy to accept? I can't say I disagree with you for staying quiet, because you know just as well as I know that a handicap match against me is still substantially uneven in my favor.

[Image: zTgZCuO.jpg]

Overall Record: 2-8-1.

1x Federweight Champion.

Shitlist: Izzy Ravenwolf, Nate Higgers.


“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.”
― Anatole France
Hate Post Like Post
Nico LaVey Offline
The Prince of Vice



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#5
03-21-2016, 12:59 PM

(03-21-2016, 12:38 PM)#IceKing Qrownando Said: "Nah, not really. Just sick of listening to fuccbois such as yourself crying and asking for another chance.

If you want to get killed, then hit up the management team. Otherwise, go fuck yourself LOL.

(Insert Nico LaVey response about me being a pussy here, even though I #murkt him.)

Again with the "fuccboi" and the hashtags, huh? You're an even bigger tryhard than I thought.

Again, we had the match of the night, and you got an assist. You didn't "Rek" me or "Murk" me, whatever the shit "Murk" means. If anything, The fact that you had three promos and I had one yet I STILL managed to give you a fight shows me that you've met your match. And you know it. You aren't a pussy for avoiding me. You're smart. You know that having a match with me is a no-win situation, so instead, you just refuse to.

It's a classic playground strategy. You know you're out matched, so instead of going to war, you say no and blow a raspberry at your enemy. Exactly what I would expect from a dipshit stoner who uses hashtags in regular conversation.

[Image: zTgZCuO.jpg]

Overall Record: 2-8-1.

1x Federweight Champion.

Shitlist: Izzy Ravenwolf, Nate Higgers.


“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.”
― Anatole France
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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick Offline
Waves don't die.



XWF FanBase:
Women and gay men

(physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes)


#6
03-21-2016, 01:11 PM

Yeah Austin you fuckin' stoner!

#OhWait

Do you even know what the fuck you're going on about? Obviously not if you just seriously called Austin a "stoner". Way to go fuckin' go, fuccboi. You played yourself again.

#DrugFreeAustin over here got this poor fool so shook he's resorting to making shit up to come at us. I'm laughing my ass off over here for real.

Exactly what I'd expect from an edgy, entitled, pseudo-intellectual.

Keep on hanging onto Ferngotti's success for your federally mandated fifteen minutes of relevance, Nick LosAgaves.

[Image: giphy.gif]
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Nico LaVey Offline
The Prince of Vice



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#7
03-21-2016, 01:30 PM

Really? You aren't a stoner? I'm surprised, as Luca is a stoner and you're his cheap knock-off version manufactured in a Bangladeshi sweatshop.

You really think i'm riding your coattails? I don't need to fucking be here. I run a business that gets me all the money I need. That, and I get all the fame and infamy I could possibly want by being a LaVey and being married to Ophelia.

Speaking of Ophelia, how about I sweeten the deal? You win, then not only will I get a "Property of Ferngotti" tattoo, but you'll both get 5 minute lap dances from her. I know how much Luca would like that. I've seen the way he admires her wide, swaying hips when she walks past. I'm sure you would too, huh Austin?

So, how about now? I win, I get the X Title and you guys are Ophelia and I's butlers for a month, I lose, I get an emasculating tattoo and my wife has to shake her juicy booty in your face. Deal or No Deal?

[Image: zTgZCuO.jpg]

Overall Record: 2-8-1.

1x Federweight Champion.

Shitlist: Izzy Ravenwolf, Nate Higgers.


“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.”
― Anatole France
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Ophelia LaVey Offline
Lady Lust



XWF FanBase:
Some men, some teens, few women

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following)


#8
03-21-2016, 01:34 PM

I'll hold up my end of the deal. Hell, you guys can even record it. I have to warn you, though. When, not if my hubby wins, I will not be going easy on either of you. I hope you two like being dominated.
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