"Tommy Gunn.

Ever since my sharp, True Korean ears heard you were Federweight champion, one question has permeated through my mind...

One ponderance... keeping me awake every night...

A ceaseless thought, interrupting every avenue of cranial production...

...

Did your mother or your father decide to name you 'Tommy Gunn'?

Follow-up question, why didn't they love you?

Could they not afford an abortion and just hoped you'd get beaten to death in childhood?

Is it even bullying when the child's name is Tommy Gunn or is it the start of after-birth miscarriage?

How can anyone have faith in Dishonorable American Child Protective Services when the parents that named you Tommy Gunn weren't stripped of custody? A jury at least half-paying attention might have elected to keep you in a Foster home, while your parents think of a name that wasn't ripped from a Coward American Sylvester Stallone movie.

Did they think naming you 'Mistake' wasn't clever or punny enough?

When you're inevitably beaten to death after literally everyone at your failing, lackluster American elementary school punches you in the stomach, does the Medical Examiner write under cause of death 'The Cruel Mechanics of An Uncaring Universe', 'Darwinism' or 'LOL THIS STUPID KID'S NAME IS TOMMY GUNN'?

I prepared for this battle.

Because your reign as Federweight champion has been truly historical; it warranted the highest level of preparation. Ten whole minutes.

How many Federweight champions could possibly have defeated Tommy Wish in mental combat?

I assume that number can be found by counting the total number of Federweight champions.

The most linguistically complicated phrase I've heard Tommy Wish say is 'Registered Sex Offender', preceded by 'Legally Obligated to Inform You That I'm'. And even though he was speaking aloud, at the time, he somehow mispelled all of those words.

Out-trashtalking Tommy Wish is like beating an armless man at a push-up contest. It's a great afternoon activity, but have the decency to do it in the privacy of your home.

Of course, you also prevented Ophelia McVeigh from taking your championship. I hadn't seen anything like the war of words you two waged since I went to a dreadful American zoo and saw two Cowardly Chinese pandas fall asleep on-top of each other amidst sexual congress.

If pandas were True Korean, not only would there be an overabundance of pandas, but your cowardly North American grizzly would create entire News Networks dedicated to the infinitely superior goings-on in The Bear-People's Republic of True Korea.

...

I deviated from point. Apologies.

You are a champion because, as you noted yourself, your competition is the laziest American garbage. You are King of Garbage.

It is time for change.

It is time to install a CHAIRMAN of Garbage.

It is time for True Korea to shine, to lead the way to a brighter future. Through example, leadership and quiet execution of dissenters.

Glory to True Korea."

NKWC hits Gunn with a Hero's Honorable, Virtuous Brass-Knuckles Punch to the face.

A PIN!

1...

2...

..Will The Korean Dude verbally out lash the soon to be departed Federweight Champ?...Will Gunn get his WISH to give it away?...

Tune in next time on...Dawson's Creek: The Herpes Aftermath.

Quote:"No back to back posts are allowed until 6 hours have past with no response from your opponent."

Somewhere between two and three, time stands still... The official's hand descends... micrometer by micrometer...

NKWC smiles, still pinning his opponent. His mouth doesn't move... But his words echo within Gunn's head.

"Wow. I expected a number of possibilities from this honorable battle between warriors.

...Slash pre-arranged ambush.

I expected you to drop classless dog American obscenities and reference your inferior American cum and other CLEVER, EDGY American things.

I expected you'd talk shit on my flawless attack and whine like a pre-pubescent Harlot American girl that you're using 0.0005% of your TRUE POWER to keep this worthless belt.

I expected at some point Tommy Wish would attach himself to the fight.

Well, that happened. The only way Tommy Wish gets any XWF camera time is by quietly standing near exciting things happening. Like a movie extra except sometimes people notice or pay attention to movie extras.

Tommy Wish's first match in the XWF involved Mike Mayhem, a man who had never won a match before or since that night, waiting patiently for Tommy to show up.

Then after that didn't happen, he quietly reached under the ring for a ladder, set-up the ladder in the center of the ring, climbed a ladder in a ring by himself, grabbed a briefcase and then quietly climbed down it again.

This was the opening match of a televised XWF show and somehow took 12-and-a-half minutes. And this happened in like 2012, which, with your cowardly American inflation, comes to 37 minutes today.

In order to collect a paycheck from XWF, Tommy Wish had to change his legal name to 'JANITORIAL STAFF BUDGET'.

I know I should trash Tommy Gunn, not Tommy Wish.

But Wish's the only Tommy showing signs of life around here.

The sequence of events has been you getting destroyed...

Then nothing.

I did not expect silence.

Your girlfriend put up more of a fight when I told her my rule about 'No socks in bed'.

Although, she did put up the same amount of fight in regards to my 'Wear this bag over your face' rule.

The same amount of fight being none.

Apparently, your brother enforces the same rule.

Only parts she was unfamiliar with that night was "having a satisfying sexual experience" and "whatever the term for 'opposite of a micro-penis' is".

I am unsure what that term would be, I guess just 'normal-sized North Korean penis'. North Koreans do not suffer from your tragic widespread American micro-penisia afflication. The best True Korean medical professionals in the world have found the solution to this problem, by taking all babies that show signs of potentially succumbing to this tragic genetic condition.

And changing their citizenship to South Korean.

Stay silent, Tommy Gunn.

Just keep laying there.

Like your deadfish American girlfriend last night.

Death to lazy, silent America.

Death to your butterface girlfriend.

Glory to True Korea."

Girard watches as Tommy Gunn stays silent while the strange Korean man is pinning Tommy Gunn. Slowly, Girard says, "Thank you for finally ridding me of this nuisance."

Girard counts the pin!

1!

2!

3!

Winner and NEW Federweight Champion: North Korean War Criminal!