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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (02-18-2016)

"So, I'm squaring off in the ring again. Fun. I mean, maybe it might be fun if I didn't have to step into the ring with a team of assclowns against me. Ass clowns that probably didn't do too well in school. Like, this new breed of Hysteria guy. I'm sorry, are we supposed to believe that you're the same Hysteria who recruited me to the Asylum? Or, are you the one who did fuck all except get his dick smashed by Sebastian Duke? Because, there were 2 of you, and only one of you managed to make a splash in the XWF. But, Harrison the first Hysteria, was a total bitch ass who couldn't do dick without the mask or partners. Hell, he couldn't even beat Guppy without help, and he certainly couldn't have beaten Cain without help from Vinnie Lane. Could he even claim a win over Defiance? Lolnope. Not a single member of Defiance. But, wait, I did. And now he wants to talk about useless members? Did this douche look in the mirror when he said that? Because, let's be honest. On my worst day, and I'm talking the day I get shot in the face with a low caliber shotgun, and manage to not die right away but still bleed out slowly; on that day, I can still kick his bitch ass up three streets and down to Mexico.

Or, are we fighting an unknown Hysteria that's claiming to be the same Hysteria as before, until someone calls him on his failings so he can be like, 'Wait, no that's the other guy. I'm just a dude in a similar mask using the same name. Dread Pirate Roberts style" Because that was the same shit this bitch pulled with Duke. Come the fuck on, don't be an obnoxious

douche. Either you're the useless cunt who couldn't be Duke, or you're the useless cunt that couldn't control the Asylum or beat Guppy without help, or Cain without help. Wait, are you the one who lost to Ghost Tank? Either way, you're the useless cunt who I'm going to fuck up on the 20th. It doesn't matter, really. Because I'm going to rape that fucking asshole. It is going to be brutal, and painful, and you'll probably cry to your mother about it, but it is going to happen. And what's worse? No one can stop it. Not even Tommy Gunn.

Why can't Gunn stop it? Because he'll be too busy trying to figure out the actual age of Christian Gunn. I know, he can probably tell how many rounds are in a rifle or a pistol just by picking it up, and he probably knows the difference between double action and single action better than I do. Hell, he can probably tell you that a 1911 is Single Action, and why better than I can, but one thing he can't do? Add, or really any basic math. Or, maybe he can and just expects that no one else can. I'm not really sure if he thinks we're all really dumb, or if he is. Because, I gotta tell ya. Something isn't adding up at all. Something odd is going on.

(05-06-2014, 06:09 AM)Tommy Gunn Said:
"My ex brother in law David was someone I met in basic training, he had no family of his own, an orphan who managed to survive 18 years on the streets and then made the decision to sign up for the Army."

"Because he had no family and I was never particularly close to mine we bonded, he became a friend, and on one of my visits home I brought David with me."

"That's where he met my sister, that's where their story started."

"A few years later they were married, a year later Christian was born and almost immediately after that David was deployed to Iraq."

That, right there. A few years into his career in the Army, his nephew came along. We can put the birth happening between 21-22 for Gunn, which means that Gunn would have to be in his 30's for Christian to be 8 or 9. But, wait. This is from almost a year ago.

(05-07-2014, 08:59 AM)Tommy Gunn Said:
I am currently 24, that would allow for 6 years in the service

Ok, wait. We'll add a year to that, so 25. 25-9=16. Tommy Gunn would have had to been 16 when 'Christian' was born, so 16 when his sister got pregnant. And since a few years passed between their meeting and the birth, that means Tommy brought the dude around when Tommy was like 14 at the oldest. Ladies and Gentlemen, two scenarios exist. Either Tommy Gunn lied about the Christian who fought Peter being his nephew, and he hangs out with a random kid, or Tommy Gunn's sister had a child with an orphaned minor and then forced him into the service to pay for his bastard, and the poor orphan died. Which do we think is more likely? Oh, I know. Probably the one where he's super creepy with a random kid because he can't math to save his life. No, the real Christian should be like 3 or 4. So, Tommy is hanging out with random kids, and is exploiting the story of his brother in law, and brother in arms, so that we won't notice how inept he is at lying. And this brings up something else. If he's that full of shit when it comes to the kid, what else is he full of shit on? What if he was never in the Army? And what if he was never actually in the Armed Forces? Can we really trust this liar now? This is worse than finding out that Ann Romney was actually born a woman, and wasn't trans. Man, that was a debacle. Tommy, please, tell us the truth. We are here to help you, and accept you. Although, it does put the time you helped Pest into new light. Were you guys NAMBLA buddies or something? Did you bump weenies or something? Maybe Eiffel Tower a little girl? You're sick, Tommy. Or, just really stupid. Which is it?

And then we have Dick E. Tickler coming back to join the fight? Seriously? What can this dude do? He was here to manage the Federweight, right? But, then he lost his nuts to Ozymandias' coffee boy, and vanished. So, what's the nutless wonder gonna do? You gonna have a stroke in the ring, or have an Agent Orange induced flashback to the time when people actually took you seriously, and feel like a man again? Because, I gotta tell ya, that'd be hilarious. Back to the 1940's, when you got one person to call you sir, and that was only because he was being sarcastic and you were too dumb to understand it. Shit, son, you're probably too dumb to understand the things I'm saying to you right now. Hell, you might even be hallucinating and thinking that I'm a Czech or something. You getting them Mustard Gas visions again, gramps? Do I need to bring some Aspirin to the ring to make sure you don't stroke out in ring? And not the fun kind, you need balls for that, baby girl.

Come on, son, try and spit that shit at me. Try and make yourself seem more impressive and valuable than you really are. Try and talk a big game about being a tough veteran or something. Please, make me bust out all of those crying Veteran pictures Google has. Help me find the pussbag Veteran stories, and ask you which one is yours. Because, I really want to. I want to see your dumb ass scramble to talk about them being less than you or some stupid shit, all the while forgetting that we all saw you get neutered on live television. Try and be impressive when a coffee boy has your boys in his desk. Sorry, failed coffee boy cause he's not here anymore, is he? Dude made coffee so badly that he left after he took your nuts. I want you to write that down, and keep it in your pocket. You lost to a failed coffee boy, and then imagine how that's going to play into you beating me. Cause it won't. Nor will it play into you beating my nigga Mason. Or, Tush. Tush of all people, is going to beat you. Think that through, TUSH IS GOING TO HOLD A WIN OVER YOU. Tush, the dude who couldn't even fucking speak a month ago is going to walk out, yeah he can do that now as well, with a win over you. Imagine the phone calls you'll have to handle because of that one.

Well, probably not you Dick E. People are used to you being a massive disappointment. I don't think I'd be able to find one person who holds you in any real regard if I spent the rest of my life looking. That's just sad, papi. Please, I implore you, either show up and make me laugh with how terrible you are, or don't show up to the arena at all. No middle ground. Don't half show up, and don't stay quiet until the match and show up there just to get your ass kicked. That's a bitch move, either pretend to be tough, or 100% hide.

And Mystery dude. You better be someone cool. Don't be some bitch ass like Maverick or Tank trying to make it seem awesome that you're back for one more night. That's not awesome, and it doesn't entertain fans. No one wants to watch those two. Be someone cool, like Scorpio, or something. Man, I hate you without knowing you. Unless you're Scorpio, then call me, papi. Actually, it's probably Duke or someone equally as gay and lame.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode I hoped I didn't have to do this.
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