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*Insert Pun Involving Peter Gilmour and an Hit Song From The 80s here*
02-10-2016, 12:06 AM
Post: #1
When we last saw Alexis Riot, she was in a fix to say the least. It seems members of the Red Lions, the biggest gang in Chicago, have sent armed members of their crew after her like she's Hulk Hogan and they are Booker T. Outgunned, outnumbered, although not exactly out classed, Alexis needed to think of something quick. As the gangsters stood outside, armed with handguns, Alexis begun to look around the cramped quarters of her friend and drug deal Jeff looking for either a weapon to use or a place to hide. Luckily for her, Jeff was thinking the same thing, and who would know the nooks and crannies of the cluttered mess of a mobile home called the "Bare Necessities" than the person who lives in it?

"Hey Al," Jeff said walking up to her, "There's a secret compartment underneath the kitchen sink, I normally use it to store drugs and food, but there should be enough room in there for someone of your size."

"But what about you? You don't stand a chance against those guys,"

"I know bruh, but they're not after me, they're after you. Plus, if I can convince them you're not here and to get out of here, we should be home free,"

"And how exactly can we convince those thugs about that?"

"Simple," Jeff then pointed at the dinner table Alexis was standing next to, with the bag of drugs known as "sprinkles" appearing on the table clear as day.

"Before they knew you were coming over here, all they wanted was that bag of good stuff right there. If I can get them to focus more on what they originally wanted and less on you..."

"I won't get filled with lead."


Suddenly, Jeff and Alexis's conversation Is cut off by the banging of a fist pounding against the door, with the cry of "Open the door bitch!" ringing through the air.

"Go, now!"

Almost on extinct, Alexis walked over to the Kitchen Sink. This wasn't much of a challenge considering the small size of the trailer, but when she got there she kneeled down, praying to god that any food on the ground didn't get on her pants, and opened a cabinet door, revealing a small compartment as Jeff said with barley enough room to fit Alexis in a fetal position.

"Looks rather small,"
The voice in her head commented,

"It will do,"

Alexis then crawled into the small space, hoping she wasn't claustrophobic, as Jeff walked over to help shut the cabinet behind her, the doors suddenly burst open. Due to the rickety state of the door, it flew off its own joints, sending it flying across the room. The sight and sound of the destroyed door causes the usually catatonic Bob to freak out. Turning from man to monster, the big man ran over to the carnage, looking to take out any threat that broke down the door. Quickly shutting the cabinet door, Jeff stood up and walked over to his giant, trying to calm him down. Not even Bob could beat a bullet. As Jeff tried to calm the man child down, Alexis was left alone and curled up in an compartment underneath a sink.

"Wow, some hero you are,"

"Oh shut up, you can't play the hero all the time. Besides, there's too many of them and they all have guns, I can't fight them head on,"

"Yes you can, with my power remember?"

"And risk putting Jeff and Bob in harms way? I know you, you don't like sin one bit, and Jeff has done some things that would probably make a Christian stick his nose in the air. You would probably kill him along with the gang members, and I don't want his blood on my hands."

"Your misplaced alliances and morals are going to be the end of you! You call yourself a risk taker? Don't make me laugh! You're cowering at the sight of a few thugs with guns, how can you make up the courage to face off against Gilmour?"

"I'm not afraid of Gilmour, I'm not afraid of the Red Lions, and I'm not afraid of you. I just don't want harm to come to Jeff and Bob. Bob, as you should know, is completely helpless mentally, and behind that drugged up attitude of Jeff lies a good person! I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if harm came to them, especially Jethro. He's like a father to me."

"Well, considering you've got a blood hungry gang after you and Jeff is standing in front of them like a human shield, I feel harm will come to them anyway,"

"Fuck you,"

While Alexis argued with herself, Jeff was finally making progress in calming the colossus Bob down. Bob slowly went back to his catatonic state and Jeff blew a sigh of relief. Suddenly, he heard the cock of a gat behind his head. A very New York accented voice then belted out,

"Turn around bub! Turn now before a bust a cap in your ass!"

Putting his hands up, Jeff turned around, a gun pointed right to his head, between the eyes. The man holding the gun was a man of short stature, around 5'11, but with a large fur coat and a beanie on his head. The man had scars and bruises on his face and was a little chubby, but he had a presence about him. Maybe that was due to the 15 or so gangsters behind him, also pointing their guns at Jeff.

"Now... that's no way to introduce your-"

The man then pressed the gun into Jeff's forehead,

"SHUT UP FUCKHEAD! I'm not here to learn manners miss, I'm here looking for the chick!"

"The chick? I'm sorry sir, the local KFC is a few miles off from here,"

"Oh, you think your funny? Well, funnyman, here's a joke for you. What's black and white and red all over?"

"Oh I heard this one! Umm.... Newspaper right?"


"One, where does the black part come from? Two, you still haven't told me who this "bitch" is!"

"You know who she is! One of our boys saw her walk out of the city to your shithole of a home!"

"I'm sorry, believe or not I had a female client come to me looking for some weed a few days ago, you have to give me more specifics."

"How 'bout this? She's the only person in the Chicago with the balls to walk in public with pink hair!"

"Oh.... you're talking about Alexis?"

"WHO THE FUCK ELSE COULD IT HAVE BEEN! Now tell us where she is! We know you two bums know each other, and we're sure she comes here often to suck your dick, so where did she go after licking your ball sack?"

"Wow, jumping to conclusions here aren't we? First of all, let's be honest, who would have sex with me? Second, I don't know where she is!"

"Don't bullshit in my face! For what other reason would she be walking out of the city?"

"You know, she has her own business, I'm not my friends keeper. She might be in a different trailer for all I know!"

"Look, I'll give you three seconds to... hey,"

The thug's attention turned from the stoner to the stoners stash laid out on the kitchen table. The thug put his gun in his pocket, although his men kept their eyes and sights on Jeff, and walked over to the table. On the table lied the infamous and expensive drug itself, Sprinkles.

"Sprinkles huh?" The thug said with a hint of wonder in his voice, "Thought they only had this shit in Mexico. Near mint condition, around two grams, impressive," He then turned to Jeff, "Hang on, I remember now. I called you about this stuff! You said you had it and well, to be honest, I thought you were shitting me. Guess you weren't."

"I know right?" Jeff said nervously, "Sometimes I impress myself,"

"You know, you're not as much of a deadbeat as I thought. Boys, get ready to go, we'll be leaving with Jeff's little gift here,"

"Righteous! I knew you could come to your senses! Just pay me the $50,000 as we agreed and continue your search for Alexis!"

Alexis couldn't help but be impressed at the cost of the "product".

"Wow, 50 thousand dollars!" Alexis thought to herself, "Jeff wasn't kidding, that stuff is big bucks!"

"Oh, the lengths humans will go to in an attempt to escape reality temporarily."

Things weren't over yet, however, as the thug looked at Jeff and smiled.

"That won't be necessary Jeff. As I said, we're leaving with your little GIFT here."

"Wait... gift?"

"Did I stutter? In short, we'll basically take your little bag of sprinkles here and be on our way,"

"Wait.... no... no! You can't just do that! Do you know how much that stuff cost! I had to sell FIVE SHIPPMENTS of my most quality goods to get that! I can barely feed myself! Now I am willing to negotiate a discount, but completely free? No way asshole!"

The thug then pulled out his gat once more, aiming it at Jeff's head,

"Listen here fuckwad. I know you're lying about Riot's whereabouts. I see it in your eyes, you're lying to me. You don't, I repeat, YOU DON'T lie to the Red Lions! I have every right to shoot you in the face and burn down your little mobile home, but I won't. These drugs are high quality stuff yes? Riot will be found soon with or without your help, but give us the drugs to.... assure your safety. Understand?"

Jeff stayed firm. That's another quality about Jeff Alexis admired. When dealing with injustice like this, he never backed down. He wouldn't be bullied into doing something he thought was wrong.


"Fine then. One way or another, we're leaving with the drugs and then we'll shoot your little girlfriend while rapeing her corpse! The Red Lions can do whatever the fuck they want, and what we want to do right now is blow your brains out."

The man then put his finger on the trigger, ready to fire. Jeff gulped, seeing his quite frankly pathetic life flash before his eyes. As this happened, Alexis was having some inner turmoil.

"What did I tell you? Now your friend is going to die. Now I would comfort you and say he's going to a better place, but then I'd be lying. He is technically sacrificing himself for you, so he will burn in... let's say... the first level of hell. Maybe limbo if God is merciful."

"This is all my fault... they're just taking their anger out on him. I can't just mope and dope in this dark fucking cabinet while my friend is about to get shot! I need to get out of here!"

"Hey, I was going to say that!"

As Alexis got ready to bust out from under the sink, the thug smiled a wide smile, showing off a gold tooth.

"Well, you disgrace of a dealer, any last words?"


The thug and his gang then turned to face the sound, which seemed to come from under the kitchen sink. Suddenly Alexis rolled out from the cabinet onto the ground, causing the gang to back off a little in surprise. Riot, realizing that everybody was watching her lie on the floor of a trailer covered with god knows what, got up, dusted herself off, and looked the thug dead in the eye.

"Looking for me?"

The thug paused for a moment, surprised at Riots confidence, he then smiled and pointed his gun at Riot.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? You're the one who fucked up tree of our boys, isn't that right?"

"Yep, that's me! You guys come to get an asskicking as well?"

"The only one getting their ass kicked is you bitch. You fuck with one of us, we fuck you up. You fuck with three of us, you just gave yourself a death sentence."

"So, you want to kill me?"

"We don't want to kill you, we will kill you!"

The thug then pointed the gun to the head of Alexis Riot. Jeff stood back, knowing that Riot had a plan.

"You're confident you can take me?"

"Of course! We RULE this city! We can take on anyone."

"I'm sure you can. The odds here seem to be in your favor, 15 to 1, so why are you relying on weapons against me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"As I said, the odds are in your favor, you could probably take me and kill me in a fight. Using a gun is worthless with the advantage you have, unless of course you're admitting my superiority."


"Jack shit doesn't need a weapon to stand up to me, so why do you guys need some?"

Alexis bit her lip, hoping playing to the thugs ego would work. To her surprise, it did! The thug motioned to his fellow felons and put his gun away, as did his gang.

"Do you think having us not use guns will even the playing field?"

"Maybe a little,"

"Guess what whore, we don't need a gun to take you. In fact, the only reason we brought them along was to provide a mercy kill when we beat, tourture, and rape you till you beg for death. You pretty much just signed yourself up for surgery without anesthetics, and the procedure is going to begin right now."

Suddenly the gang began to move closer to Riot, getting ready to beat her to a bloody pulp.

"Hang on a second guys, as much as loving getting beat, tourtured, and raped,"

That single line causes the gang to stop in their tracks in shock, although one of them looks strangely aroused. Jeff also looks shocked at Riot's statement. She then turns to him,


After reassuring Jeff that getting beaten up by a gang wasn't her kink, she turned back to said gang,

"Look around you for a second. Does this, no offense Jeff, dingy trailer look like the place for a brawl like this?"

"None taken,"

"Gentlemen, what I'm suggesting is this. I will fight ALL of you in a location of your choosing, but only if you follow these rules. First of all, you must pay Jeff the full amount of money for his drugs. This is about me and you, don't bring him into this. Second, no weapons. We've already established the fact you can take me on in hand to hand combat, and I won't be bringing any weapons either. Third, I won't be bringing any back up. It will just be me and the 15 of you."

Hearing this, the gang huddled up, discussing among themselves the best course of action. Alexis and Jeff stood back with baited breath. Bob did as well, but due to his statue like nature he didn't really have much of a choice. After what seemed like years, the gang got out of the huddle and their leader walked up to Riot with a sneer on his face.

"It's a deal. Meet us at Custard Alley, midnight, tomorrow. I will also send the full 50 thousand dollars to your boy toy tomorrow as well. We will hold up our end of the bargain, but if you don't hold up to yours we will have no problem hunting you down, shooting you, and burning down your friends little hovel here. Got it?"

Alexis smirked, "Sounds good to me,"

The thug then let out a low, menacing laugh, "Enjoy these last few pitiful hours of your life, they WILL be your last."

He then gestured to his fellow thugs,

"Come on boys, let's go prepare for the slaughter,"

The Red Lions then went out the frame of the door they kicked out, with the leader looking back at Jeff with a glare that read, "Be happy that bitch bailed you out," Alexis then walked to the new hole in the wall, squinting as the gang walked into the sunset. Jeff collapsed onto his couch, tired and weary,

"Well, now what do we do?"

Alexis continued to stare at the departing marauders,

"Make sure Bob is okay and decide which type of Jimmy Dean sandwich you should spend all that cash on,"

She then smiled,

"I have a fight to prepare for."

[Image: RgWkPlt.jpg]

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