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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
The last time I wasn't tired of looking at your face, you had no face.
Author Message
Frodo mother fucking Smackins Offline
Big Dick Playa



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
12-14-2015, 12:31 AM


"Sorry, but who the fuck are you Michael McNugget or something? Seriously, dawg, I can't fucking understand you. Are you like or something? I mean, you're counting a failed pin attempt someone makes on you as a match, but you refuse to count the one that Steve Davids kicked out of? Dude, hypocrisy looks terrible on you. I seriously think you're . In fact, with as dumb as you are, I'm of the belief that your parents could be brother and sister. Do you think that you're capable of competing on my level because you got lucky and pinned Davids? Congrats, you pinned Davids and you might get lucky enough to pin Cain, but you will not beat me. You cannot beat me. Not on a day that ends in Y, or starts with a Consonant. Except maybe if we're fighting to see who the biggest waste of cum ever to exist. No, even then I would find a way to beat you. Just so you can say you've never beat me. Fuck, I will purposely lose to every person on this roster, twelve times in a row just so I can say my record is both better and worse than yours. Because I am constantly going to be better than you are at every thing you ever even attempt.


It's difficult to say just where you went wrong in your life, but I think if we sit down and talk it out, we can figure this shit. I believe it had to do with the time you were 1st grade, and your teacher called on you to come speak to the class about how awesome the class' Gila monster is, and you ended up pissing your pants. Then like a , you drank your own piss. Because that sums up your entire career, and entire prospects. You make me sick to my face, the point where I am going to vomit out of my eyeballs. Because you're so terrible and disgusting that my body has to change properly process how disgustingly bad you are at life. I would offer you the easy way out of the ass kicking I'm going to drop on your bitch ass, tell you to hold my pocket to avoid being ass raped, but baby doll that won't even save you. You're so useless you would hold my pocket, and still find a way to get raped. Even if you specifically asked me to bend you over and take you to pound town, even prelubed it up like a mother fucker, I would still find some way to get around your consent. Or, convince you that you didn't consent.


Dude, how useless do you think I am that you're going to be able to beat me? If I pulled my dick out, and lotioned it up for you while walking you through the process of jerking of jerking me off, you still wouldn't be able to beat me or my meat. And you actually think beating Steve Davids is something to be impressed with? Dude, losing to Davids would be about as low as you could possibly go. Which, is going to be ironic because I will drag you to new depths of low. I will embarrass you in terrible matches that involve you getting raped by a silverback gorilla while a Sea Turtle slaps your testicles with divine justice. As a matter of fact, I hereby challenge you to a new match at some point. Loser gets raped by a Silverback Gorilla while having their balls slapped by a Sea Turle. Don't make me harass you until you accept, just accept it. Be a man. Be a Goddamn man and put your balls on the line. Do it, bruh. Or, I will dunk my nuts in your asshole and my daughter's face straight up your asshole, all the way to the shoulders. It'll prolly hurt less than the ass kicking I'ma lay on your monkey ass.


And baby doll Sue. I hope you bring a clean set of underpants to the show Wednesday. Because I am going to make sure you soak yours with some rancid piss that you've been holding in for the last thirteen days. That is how I fucking do, papi. Now, eat my asshole before I use for your face as a cum rag and then use your phone to sext your mom. That sounds like a fantastic idea, actually. Let's do that. Bitch. Don't make me ask twice.”








Frodo kicked in Joseph-Gordon's door, where the boy was sleeping. The Hobbit was wearing nothing more than jockstrap and leather workboots with steel toes. His tiny hobbited feet are somehow protected against anything in the world. Even lightsabre blades. Oh yeah, and he's going to be wearing these when he paints Mason Prince's colon with blood. Joey was sound asleep, but Midge McGoo would have none of it.


”Wake the fuck up, Joseph. We need to talk.”


The Prince, not that fake ass prince Mason, turns to face Frodo, blinking his eyes a few times and groggily answers.


”Wassup, dad?”


”Fallout 4. I've never told you the story behind it. You need to understand the hell I went through.”


”I don't care?”


Mighty Midge rushes over to JG and leaps onto his bed, landing with his feet on either side of Joey's head. The Violator begins to drop his nuts on his kid's head. Repeatedly.


”Listen to my story, bruh.”


"The hell?"

"Do my nuts taste good, boy? You were made in them."

The Son of Shorty throws his head straight up and slams it right into Daddy's nuts.

"Don't dunk them shits on my face. Tell me your story and go the fuck away."

"Listen, boy. It was pure hell. I was surrounded by fat vault dwelling nerds who smelled like they ain't showered in at least an hour. It was terrible. One of them tried to talk to me about how he thought Call of Duty Black Ops 3 was a redemption for the series, and how Advanced Warrior and Ghost were horrible. I think there was more to it, but I blocked it out. Then a group of them surrounded me and begin to talk about movies, and tv shows, and other obscure bullshit. One of them even tried to breathe on me. It was almost as bad as sitting through a Mason Prince promo. Which I did once. It felt like Ebola. They got me locked into a conversation with them about the new Star Wars movie, and the EU, and Luuke Skywalker. You know how I hate saying his name. Plus, they were debating the merits of playing on PS4 or Xbox one. Everyone knows PS4 is better because Xbox One is for poor people that can't count. One implies it being the first, bitches it's fucking number 3. Goddamn. And what was with calling it the 360? That means you went full circle and didn't change anything. The naming team at Microsoft makes me hate myself and fills me with a desire to catch gonorrhea from a three dollar Filipina Prostitute named Marzapin Meridiean. Joey am I making sense at all?"

"Why are you still talking to me about this? This isn't related to Fallout 4?"

"I got sidetracked. Ok, so I listen, and talk to them about how silly I feel the situation with the PSN hack and the Xbox Live collapse. It was painful. But, I kept hanging out and waiting patiently for this. There was nothing pleasant going on. It was like the episode of Becker with the AIDs patient. It was pretty bad and ridiculous. Like the polar opposite of a Breakfast Club cast reunion. Unless that reunion didn't include Judd Nelson. Anyway, so we're talking, and none of them focus on the fact that I'm a pro wrestler, and that I was wearing an incredibly awesome tiger print thong and not much else. They chatted for a while about the possibility of designing weapons in 4. While all of this was going, I made a mistake, I forgot to get my printed paid receipt. That meant, I had to get in line, get a slip, and wait in the back of the line for the game. It took me 30 minutes to get the game, and 5 more to get out to the parking lot. Then, the next day I had to wake up early, and go to Target. Target got a limited selection of Nuka Cola Quantum. I had to get some. I got two. The last two, to be exact. Broke the bottles and drank the nectar in front of the nerds. Good times."

Frodo looked down and sees Joey asleep under him. He does the only logical thing, and drops a massive shit on his sleeping kid before going to the kitchen for some Chicken Alfredo.

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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