Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 03:37 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Making Spirits Bright
Author Message
Prof. Bobby Bourbon Offline
Mad Scientist



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
12-13-2015, 04:16 PM



This time of the year, there is festivity and merriment everywhere you go. Well, the XWF variety, for sure. Crowded stores and roads, the overall hustle and bustle to keep busy, to keep active, and in a strange way, compete with one another drive people to grin and bear it. Robbie Bourbon has to buy 48 XBox One consoles 12 days before Christmas.

Good luck, fellow.

MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT

12:17 PM

We open scene to see Robbie driving, with Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, riding shotgun, and Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd in the back seat. All three are buckled in. Robbie has his right hand on the wheel with his arm resting out of the fully open window, seemingly enjoying the unseasonably balmy 72 degrees outside.

Okay, this'll be a snap. First, go invest like hell in Microsoft, right now, for all the free advertising I'm doing. Then, we film me buying their product, then bam, big moolah, we helped the kids.

That's... actually brilliant.

Thank you.

If it works.

It's gonna work, trust me. C'mon.

Robbie puts the vehicle in park and the camera shifts to a handheld, and by the view it's probably held by Diamondback.

Are you sure they'll be out for the full five hours?

Look, I dosed myself once with the stuff, I was out for eight hours and I'm a fine-tuned superheavyweight athlete. We'll probably have to wake the little bastards up when we get back. But, hey, as long as we get them their Xbox Ones, they'll never knew they were test subjects.

I, uh...

Robbie puts a finger to his mouth as the three men enter a GameStop. There is a wait of about thirty minutes in a line that winds throughout the building. More notable, however, is the sighting of Ash, Robbie's former personal hair stylist and what's more, a named Bourbon Person.

ROBBIE!

Ash grins and waves at Robbie briefly before going back to helping the customer.

Hey!

Robbie smiles and waves back.

See, this'll be a snap. Ash's got the hook-up, we'll get our fifty Xbox Ones, and head back to the dojo in no time.

Ash finishes helping her customer and approaches Robbie, greeting him with a hug. He gently pats her back and ends the embrace.

Man, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while!

You never called, you said you and the boys had to go to Vegas.

Oh, right. Well, they had fun, I was just there on business.

No biggie. Me and Cass went to Rome.

Oh, sweet.

Have you called her yet?

What? Nah, I figured she was...

Jesus, are you guys pulling a "Kermit and Miss Piggy" reunion, like how they always wind up apart in every Muppet movie but hook up by the end?

We were... hush. Asshole. You need to meet a girl.

I need to stop chasing an orangutan around.

How's Clyde?

Well, we were gonna track him down after we got our fifty Xbox Ones.

Fifty?

Yeah.

Dude, we only have like seven.

What? You only have seven?

Yeah, I mean, not everybody buys fifty Xbox Ones.

Well, I'm doing it for the needy kids.

He gassed them.

Ash giggles. With that, the store manager approaches.

Hey, Ash, we have more customers in line. It's nice to have friends and all, but come on, you're on the clock.

Oh, ma'am, hello, I'm just here to buy the rest of your Xbox Ones.

"Fuck you, my kid wants one!"

"Yeah, I'm getting one too, pal. You snooze, you lose."

A very grumpy expression now rests on Robbie's face. He looks highly displeased.

Sir, I'm sorry, but there's a line.

Oh. Know anybody else who has more?

Yeah, Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, you could check them.

Ash, get behind the register and stop bringing up other companies.

The manager actually grabs Ash by the arm as she says this.

Ash, you want your old job back?

Yes!

You're hired.

As soon as this is said, Ash pulls a mask out of her purse and puts it on, though it's more of a masquerade style than lucha.

Laters, I'll be by for my check.

With that, the whole ensemble returns to the van. As Cyberjaw opens the door to the front passenger seat, Ash stomps on his foot and lowers her shoulder into him, knocking him out of the way and sliding into shotgun. Cyberjaw rolls his eyes and climbs into the back of the van with Diamondback. Robbie presses a button on the dash of the van, and a GPS turns on, with a red blip moving around on it.

Okay, we gotta get Clyde, the scope of all of this has changed. Cool, there's a Wal-Mart on the way. We'll stop there.

12:51 PM

We see from the vantage point of the passenger seats as Robbie pulls the van into a parking spot. He and the rest of his Bourbon Men leave the vehicle and walk inside, dodging and diving out of the way of countless shoppers taking advantage of the beautiful weather. They approach the electronics department, and wait in line.

I hope they have enough.

As soon as Robbie speaks, an employee approaches.

Hello sir, how can I help you today?

How many Xbox Ones do you have in stock?

I have to check, why?

I want to buy as many as possible.

Um, okay.

The employee wanders off and finds what looks like a manager, since he's in a golf shirt and wearing an earpiece. The manager approaches.

Hello, sir, how many Xboxes do you need?

Well, I need fifty, but I don't think anybody has fifty.

No sir. The best I can do is ten.

Robbie rolls his eyes, but turns and shakes the man's hand and smiles.

Well, every bit helps. Thank you.

The manager pulls Robbie over to a closed register in the electronics department and turns it on, setting it to open. We see a cart come out from the back of the department with a stack of Xbox Ones in it. The employee pushing it is struck by another shopper's cart, causing the whole stack to shake, and two Xboxes to careen to the floor. Robbie looks severely displeased, again.

Well, eight it is.

1:34 PM

We see Robbie and crew pull up to a drive through window. Robbie hands the employee cash, and we see the employee hand Robbie a tray of beverages, which he promptly drops and spills. The rest of the Bourbon men begin to chuckle as Robbie looks down and starts to wipe away the mess of a caramel mocha smoothie, iced tea, a peppermint milk shake, and a large cola from his chest, belly, and lap.

Yeah, real fuckin' funny. Fuck, are you recording this?

1:47 PM

We see Robbie speaking with the manager at a Best Buy. The manager is wearing a bright blue shirt with the word Best Buy on it. Robbie is wearing a black and white checked button down that is also streaked with bright tan, dark brown, white with tiny red and white candy cane speckles, and darker brown. He already looks very displeased.

What do you mean a limit of five?

Sir, it's to prevent eBay resalers from ruining the spirit of the holidays.

Dude, I got forty-eight kids who are really going to be very unhappy without their Xboxes. I have eight so far, come on.

Sir, five at the most.

Jesus. Five? FIVE!

What the fuck is this bullshit! Seriously! A guy just wants to provide for underpriveleged youth, and you gotta be a cock block, giving me some pissy ass shit about eBay? 


Sir, your language...

Fuck my language and fuck you you fucking Peter Ass Gilmour motherfucker. That's right, you're a fucking Peter Gilmour. You know who the fuck that is, stud? That little shitstain of an eyesore that shows up making demands. I want a title shot, I want a title shot, I want a deathmatch, I want a title shot, I want to only sell you five fucking Xboxes. Want, want want want want want want!

MOTHERFUCKER!

You're just a stupid fuck who doesn't know how the nature of things just fucking are. Flat the fuck out. Peter Gilmour demands people to suck his dick. I say for what? What in the fucking world has Peter Gilmour ever done besides lose the Xtreme title a record twelve times? Gotten his cock lopped off at the base! Died! Peter Gilmour has died! He has gotten his ass kicked from here to there and back again, motherfucker, but he still wants to pull this bullshit, fear me, worship me, thank me for it fuckery? Why? Because he puts his, well, he doesn't have a dick, I guess Pete's just sucking the hepatitis straight out of Maria's asshole with his tongue, thanking her when he gets to a peanut.


SIR!

SIR SHIT! I ain't no refined fucking gentleman, stud, I'm the Xtreme Supreme, the Wednesday Night Wrecker, the man you will always remember and wish you could forget, the humanoid monsoon!

My name is Robbie Motherfucking Bourbon. And I don't have to take shit from a wumpus like Peter Gilmour because Peter is just a sack of busted bones and crushed arteries waiting for me to prepare, like I'm tenderizing a cut of god damned meat. Not prime, choice, cut beef, not a rack of lamb, not a tenderloin, I'm getting ready for chicken. Little, filthy, disgusting, chicken. Peter Gilmour is a chicken. He's about to be fricaseed.


SIR! Calm down, I can get you thirteen. That's all we have.

Robbie stops and and takes a few very deep breaths, his chest looking like a bellows. He snorts and looks at the manager.

I'm sorry, nobody should be compared to Peter Gilmour, that was abrasive. I don't need the warrantee, either.

2:30 PM

We see Robbie walking out of a Target with three carts full of Xbox Ones all being loaded into his van.

3:45 PM

We open to see Robbie behind the wheel of his van, Ash sitting in the front passenger seat, and both Cyberjaw and Diamondback in the back.

Okay, we did it, we got the Xboxes. Now, let's go grab Clyde and head back to the dojo.

Where is he?

Looks like he's on the National Mall in DC.

Jesus, another mall?

Shush. He isn't moving much. I hope he still has that crate.

What's in it?

A surprise. A big one for the match. I want Peter to build the most amazing thing he's ever come up with. I really hope his contraption is stellar, and sets eyes wide. Because I want to destroy it. I want to smash it to bits with a wrecking ball, or the next best thing, Dim and Peter Gilmour.

And the crate will help you with that?

Stud, that crate is the icing on the cake. Shit.

As Robbie curses, he points at something seen through the windshield, a small orange furball sitting on top of the restoration scaffolds surrounding the Capitol dome. The GPS agrees with this.

Damn, so how are we supposed to get him down?

I don't know.

Robbie and crew exit the van. The walk to the steps of the U.S. Capitol, desolate and empty during this time of year.

HEY! CLYDE! WHAT'RE YOU DOING UP THERE?

The orange furball turns to look at Robbie and crew and waves at them.

Damnit.

Suddenly, a car pulls up to the scene, and out steps a reporter. He rushes to Robbie.

Hi, I'm with Democracy Now, I see you're protesting here at the Capitol and was wondering if we could interview you?

Huh?

Before Robbie can actually respond, out steps the Democracy Now camerawoman. She's short, stocky, cute, and has bright blue hair. She stops cold in her tracks as she sees Robbie.

Baby?

Honey bear.

She puts the camera on top of the sedan and runs to embrace Robbie. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out her mask, which she dons. With that, Clyde the orangutan scales down from the top of the Capitol and walks up to Robbie, handing him the crate.

Cass, you gotta film this...

Clyde the orangutan slugs the Democracy Now reporter in the testicles. Blue chuckles.

C'mon, guys, we gotta wake those kids up and give them their shit.

What kids?

Hushabee.

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
Edit Hate Post Like Post




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)