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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "WAR GAMES 2015" RP Board
Roubie’s Mockumentary (Rp#2)
Author Message
Bobby Charles Offline
XWF's Prodigal Son



XWF FanBase:
Men, some teens

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty)


#1
09-08-2015, 12:19 AM

"You did not..."Bjorn, said to Bobby. A wide smile on his face, as he sat down in a leather chair. Morbid Angel, and Rev were already in the room waiting for Bob , who was standing up in front of the large television screen.

"Just watch," Zi began."This is why there were rumors that Robbie had a different version of that WHY? promo that we didn't see on the air. THIS IS IT!"

"Um, Bob..."Began Rev, somewhat cautiously... before zi stops him mercillsly.

‘’Just check it out anyway, this is somereal funny shit!"Zi sat down on the large couch, clapped twice to turn off the lights, and hit PLAY on the VCR remote.The player began...

"Hi there. Welcome to this special edition T.V program that we call .... Why?

There was a guy in a poorly made, Robbie Mask. He looked like he was in junior high school.

"Good evening, I am Roubie Bourbon, a complete waste of breath and an XWF supertard. This week Our team, Team isles, have a match against The team composed of finest wrestlers of the wrestling world's. A team consisting the likes of our former universal champion,Morbid Angel, And also our Former 2x Xtitle Champ, Bobby Zi(who's my hero). What a shock it is though, that our only show’s subject is also the bad mother fuckers that we are facing this week, considering the fact that we are, especially Me is a complete mental . (I mean, you didn't think that I'd have a show about anything else now...) Anyway lets move on to the actual show. Why call this show Why? for a reason, that reason is simple, it's so simple that even I was able to grasp it when myagent explained it to me. We look at why things happened. Like, why the sun comes up in the east, and why kittens have whiskers, and why I suck so very, very badly. This week we will look at why each of the members of the Team.Victor... , oops! I said Victory Forever! Haha-- like they are family members of that Revolutionary war guy with the lanterns and Red Coats, and stuff. Why the Victory’s decided that it was in their best interest to join together."

A chimpanzee smoking a pipe, and wearing roller skates sits next to him. The monkey flips him the finger, hops off the couch, and skates off camera.

"Well, it seems that I can't ask our friend Mr. Chips, so I will move onto the ever present and pointless display of photographs, which I kindly donated from my personal collection from my grandmother's house."

We are shown a large glossy photo of Morbid, the sort that is ONLY available from being a charter member to the Morbid’s Fan Club. M.A smiles out of the photo, and gives a thumbs up sign.

First we will talk about Morbid. Morbid, as many know, has not died yet, likely due to his extremely good health, and his routine healthy diet. He just keeps on coming back to the wrestling scene, again and again and again and again again. Er... Sorry, I like the way 'again' sounds. It tickles my throat. Hee-hee! Through the years though Morbid has really bean, er, BEEN losing it. He has continually gotten worse, here look at some footage in a matchagainst formerass-clown, and my twin brother, Superturd Peter.
"God bless you!" A stage hand offers, thinking he sneezed. Roubie glares at him and continues.A midget wearing a chicken costume comes on screen, pushing a TV stand replete with a REAL LIVE TV! (Probably 'borrowed' from the AV department at the Junior High.)

Shown playing, is Roubie having dinner with his grandmother. The audio quality is poor, but at one point Grandma slaps the back of Roubie’s hand as he impolitely reaches across her plate to get a fourth helping of sloppy joe's. Theslap is heard, and his grandmother calls him a little asshole.

"Oop! heh- um, wrong tape."
The midget in the chicken costume pushes the TV stand off camera.

"I was going to show how badly Morbid sucked, butI guess my grandmother accidentally taped overthe match."

Roubie turns the left side and there is a lifesized cardboard cut-out of Bobby Charles.It is the one from a couple years ago, and features Bobby flipping the middle finger. This time, the angle of the cut-out is such, that he is now giving Aries the finger.

"So where has Bobby Zi been all these years and why he left? I know, he's only been gone for about Six months, but it sound waaaay more dramatic to say years. Well we really dont know where he has been. I've never bothered to ask him... hmmm.. maybe I should have done a bit of homework before filming this episode of 'Why?', er, but anyway we know why he left. Well, I think I know why he left. According to Charles, he left because the wrestlers that he was fighting got boring, he wasjust too good. Yet what is odd about that statement is that blah blah blah newer talents, the ones that blah blah blah blah clearly said that he left because it was too easy, so there. There is only one logical reason as to why he came back. You see, I wrote him a letter, and asked him personally to come back. I missed watching him wrestle. He's really DAMN good!"

Bourbon turns to the right again and this time instead of the Morbids portrait there is one of Rev’s. He stares at the photo as if entranced by it. He quickly shakes it off, and smiles again at the camera.

"Now we go on to Reverend. He decided that it'd be kinda cool to be in a group of peoplethat were as good as he was.You see for rev, the Why? is essentially the same as zi. He joined them in hoping that they could score him some booty and free drinks. Which they do on a nightly basis.I wish that I could be in the Morbid’s..."

Pouting, Roubie moves again to the left and this time instead of Zi, there is only Bjorn,Well... actually it wasn't Bjorn, but a poor facsimile drawn with crayon on construction paper, bearing the signature of Roubie. At the topit says: "For grandma."

"Now we have Bjorn, and here is his Why? Bjorn and Morbid are such good friends, they do everything together so naturally he joined too."

Roubie stares into the screen as if that was the most profound statement ever made.

"And about that dude GGTX, I forbid myself talking about holy ghosts so this concludes this edition of Why? Be sure to tune in to this same station on Saturday as you watch me and my superturd brothas get our ass handed to us on a silver platter by quite possibly EVERY Member of V.F in the house."

The image grows smaller and smaller and eventually fades out to purple.

Bobby claps, and the lights come back on.

"So, what do you think guys?"

There is an uncomfortable moment of silence, before Bjorn broke into a wide smile and began laughing. Every VF member begins to laugh as the promo fades to... uh... purple. for real this time.

Former 2× X-treme ChampIon
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