---

What makes a man? Is it measurable by wealth? Is it in the things he said? The things he is known for? How many women(Or men, if you're gay like Peter Gilmour) he has slept with?

More questions.

Last we left our hero, he'd just secured his first professional win. This narrator knew that he'd secured this win thanks in no small part to The Hired Gun. You see, Alexander Aries is a complicated individual. He has a very selective memory in these types of situations. The Money Talks? An Aries Effect. The pack piledriver? A super powerful superkick from hell. You understand my drift.

In the vain of a Kurt Angle, the Straight Edge Assassin took full credit as the fans cheered him. Well, they cheered the arrogant twenty seven year old in his mind. We all heard the boos. I know you all did.

So what makes a man?

Many things. But what makes Alexander Aries is his overwhelming confidence. He feels that he can face anyone and not only that, he feels that he can beat them. Whether it be Sebastian Duke or Eli James he felt that he'd already won. Some people call it a weakness but this is his strength.

He's good BUT he knows it. You think you can win? Don't bother. He already has.

---

Our scene opens up to a shot of the palatial estate of one Alexander Aries...


We can all see that the outside of the house is very beautiful, the grass is perfectly trimmed. The flowers are perfectly grinned and as the camera pans around the house and we see bushes trimmed to look like animals, most likely for the sake of Alex's five year old son. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, morning dew glistens on the blades of grass swaying in a gentle breeze.

Change scene. Alexander Aries sits in front of a dormant stone fireplace dressed in his jeans, Doc Martins, and a blue dress shirt, blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. He looks into the camera with a smile.

"Hello Xwf and CCWF Universe alike. My millions and millions of fans who love watching me every Monday Night on Monday Night Aries!"

Crickets.

"Right. So I'm sure that will catch on, eh blokes? Merchandising bitches. Money in my pockets because you all know that you want to jump on this gravy train. I am the hottest thing to hit XWF since Firey Flammage. Right? I mean, you saw me dominate that nail technician from Korea or Japan or where in the fuck ever she's from. I won fair and square, by myself. We all know it, assassinites."

Aries snaps his fingers and we see a well dressed older gentleman enter from stage right. The old man is a black man, much like...

"Geoffrey, bring me a tall glass of ice water. I'm gonna talk a lot of shit, I got a lot on my mind, eh?"

...yes. That guy. Fresh Prince.

The old butler begins to speak and Aries eyes him, the old man shutting up before he says a word. He exits stage left and we hear ice clinking followed by water running. Aries barks into the kitchen.

"Hey! That better not be tap water, or you're cleaning Aunt Edna's toilet again!"

Groan. Hack. Gag. As you can imagine, Aunt Edna was a nasty, undesirable lady of fifty six. Bitch loved in a trailer on the property of the mildly well off Alexander Aries. Geoffrey reentered the scene with a tall glass of purified ice water. Not tap water. Aries nods his thank you and looks back into the camera.

"So I've heard a lot of questions from fans lately concerning my lifestyle choice of "straight edge". One dumbass even asked "what does straight edge mean?" Well, at the time, I didn't answer the question. I was too repulsed by the fact that this bloke probably smoked crack or shot heroine(he pronounces it "Heir-o-ween") because they actually had ask what straight edge is. I mean, seriously, think of it. Have you ever seen Phillip Brooks? A real upstanding man who doesn't use drugs, drink alcohol, or smoke cigarettes. Hell, that's my lifestyle. There are only two things in life I am addicted to and those things are money and competition. I won't deny it, there's just something about being able to buy a sixty seven Impala with my pocket change."

"Yes, I'm rich. Competition, however, is a hell of a drug. I honestly didn't get my fix with fighting XWF's resident Bangkok hooker slash nail tech. I don't know where this bitch is from but she doesn't either obviously. The difference here, besides her obvious lack of talent, is that I don't give a fuck. I beat her, fair and square, by myself."

@DickTickler97 Said:Hah! You owe that victory to The Hired Gun!

Aries sips his water and narrows his eyes.

"See this is why people shouldn't do drugs. This Twitter user obviously is using some hallucengenic substance and actually THINKS...no he or she BELIEVES that a fictional character actually helped me beat Oni. In this case, the IWC is wrong. All I remember is superkicking Oni so hard she bounded backward into the mat with the back of her head. So *I* figured, why not make the back match the front. Curb stomp. One two three, Alexander Aries wins. Boom."

"Since we ARE on the subject of me winning, or should I say #winning, let's go ahead and look a bit forward. Let's take a good look at my airquotes "competition" for Monday Night Aries. #loser #asianassassination. . Yes, assassinites I speak of none other than- rolls eyes. -Pringle Boi 187."

#FagLord

"What in the actual fuck are the bookers thinking? I mean, look at this guy- looks confused. - he says he's "tall enough." Which must mean, given that he is an Asian, he is at least four-feet six inches."

#WalkingStereoType #DoesntMeasureUp

"I know I said I didn't need the crutches of racism to entertain you people, but the fact of the matter is this guy...or girl...he looks like a damn transvestite Power Ranger."

#Transvestites #TheyJustMightBeGuys #HomosInDisguise

"So I digress. What I will do from the standpoint of a competitor is try to take this chick seriously. Although, it feels like the bookers love to watche wrestle Asian women! Slanted eyes, black hair, short and weak. Oh, and she's probably got a slanted cunt as well."

#AsianPussyIsSlanted #HitItSideways

Wow. This is a new side from the man who came in, serious as a heart attack. Maybe he just developed a new attitude following his self gotten win over the nail technician. He has been on a tear with the insults in regards to his opponent. An arrogant smile crosses his face.

"All joking aside, let me conclude this all with a warning for Pringle Boi 187."

His smile fades and he leans in close.

"Your ass is mine, brah. No, not in the way you'd likely prefer but in a way that everyone around the world will see that you are the joke around here. A joke like Guppy Parsh. Know? So the way I see it, Boi, you've two choices. One you put up a futile struggle and still lose. Two you lay down and accept your fate. Noticing a trend here, brah?"

"You lose either way."

"Alexander Aries didn't come into this bloody company to lose. This is my time, Boi, and "people like you" are a waste of it. Savvy?"

#EnhancementTalent #AriesWinsAgain