August 19th, 2015
Ginásio do Maracanãzinho
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Reeve Alexandra Gordon
- vs -
Darren Dangerous
- vs -
Abigail
- vs -
The Reverend Tholomew Plague
- vs -
Code Red Elimination Battle Royale
Steve Davids
- vs -
Robbie Bourbon X-Treme Rules, One Fall
MAIN EVENT
Game Girl & Iris Oppenheimer
- vs -
Peter Gilmour & Fontanna Tornado Tag, One Fall
Pyro goes off around the arena as our commentators welcome us.
JIM ROSS: "Hello ladies and gentleman and welcome to another exciting Wednesday Night Warfare! I'm Jim Ross."
BOBBY HEENAN: "And I'm Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan and good god I love Rio!"
JIM ROSS: "Been having fun Brain?"
BOBBY HEENAN: "You bet, the women love me and I loooove the women, the beaches might as well be my home."
JIM ROSS: "Well with how much you've been spending on these girls, the beaches may be your new home Bobby."
BOBBY HEENAN: "... Eat a dick Jim."
JIM ROSS: "And with that, let's get to our first match of the evening."
Darren Dangerous and Reeve stand in the ring.
White Jesus by Rittz plays
Code Red enters.
Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold plays
The lights dim down as Bat Country hits the P.A. system, a lone spotlight shines at the top of the stage as Reverend Tholomew Plague appears at the top of the stage staring at the ground, he lifts his head up and pyro sets off and the lights come back on, he then casually walks to the ring as he receives a mixed response from the crowd
Static plays
Abigail enters.
Reeve Alexandra Gordon
- vs -
Darren Dangerous
- vs -
Abigail
- vs -
The Reverend Tholomew Plague
- vs -
Code Red Elimination Battle Royale
The bell rings, and all eyes immediately turn to Darren Dangerous.
JIM ROSS : Ah don't believe this is good for Darren Dangerous, Brain.
BOBBY HEENAN: Neither do I, Jim. Neither do I.
As if on instinct that he's about to be swarmed by four other competitors, Darren says fuck it and rushes Abigail!
But Code Red sticks out his foot, leaving Darren to fall flat on his face! Then, all of a sudden, the other competitors back away from Darren.
BOBBY HEENAN: Aw shit, JR! Literally! I think Darren just dropped a deuce!
The smell from Darren's ass wafts throughout the arena, visibly disgusting some of the fans. One particular overprotective mom sprays down her kid with perfume as the competitors inside the ring nearly look ready to barf.
Then, after swallowing down the foul stench, Abigail then begins directing traffic, having Reverend hold up Darren's arms. Code Red begins holding up Darren's legs while Reeve picks up Darren's fat ass. Under Abigail's orders, the group manage to lift Darren over the top rope and out onto the floor.
JIM ROSS: And now one competitor is out! And Ah think this match will now TRULY get underway!
Reeve, Code Red, and Tholomew rush each other at the center of the ring. Abigail proceeds to get the hell out of Dodge, and waits at the corner, seeking an opportunity to strike.
Code Red is batting away his opposition, with a right hand to Reeve, then a kick to the gut to Tholomew. Reeve and Tholomew have seemingly teamed up for this match however, and keep trying to take down Code Red.
Striking at the exact same time seems to work. While Code Red was about to hit his patented Retirement Plan (Powerbomb lungblower) onto Reeve, Tholomew struck, hitting a sharp knee onto Code Red's back. Reeve falls harmlessly onto the ground. Both Reeve and Tholomew begin taking turns, throwing solid kicks onto Code's back.
JIM ROSS: It seems like teamwork is makin' the dream work for both Tholomew and Reeve!
BOBBY HEENAN: Let's see if that teamwork can help them against a charging Abigail!
Abigail strikes, dropping the Reverend down with a harsh clothesline to his back. After seeing Tholomew get dropped like a sack of potatoes, Reeve tries to take down Abigail, but he gets stopped in his tracks by a vicious Disasterpiece (Off the ropes stunner)! Reeve is laid out!
BOBBY HEENAN: . . .
JIM ROSS: You alright, Brain?
BOBBY HEENAN: Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just wondering where Shane keeps finding these strong women. . . who also happen to be sexy.
JIM ROSS: Ah, for heaven's sake Brain, show some class! We're being broadcasted live, dammit!
Turning her attention back to Reeve, she picks up the former Arc of the Covenant Champion, and throws him toward the ropes! Reeve is dangling towards elimination, but he holds onto the ropes!
BUT ABIGAIL HAS OTHER PLANS!
She's signalling toward the back!
AND HERE COMES THE CCWF!
The Hired Gun, Kid Money and Goddess Sitre Renenet rush the ring!
Hired Gun pulls Reeve right back into the ring and delivers the Logical Conclusion! (Reverse DDT knee into spine followed by reverse Rolling Cutter) but he's not done yet! He pulls Reeve back up and hits Poetry In Motion! That inverted even flow DDT left Reeve completely motionless on the canvas.
Meanwhile Goddess Renenet has been working over Code Red with a series of knees and elbows in the corner and Kid Money has been repeatedly kicking Reverend Tholomew in the groin! Holy shit how many times has he kicked his nuts already and he's not stopping!
Abigail waits by the ropes as Kid Money whips Tholomew toward her but he only stumbles because he's holding his groin in pain. Kid dropkicks him in the back to keep the momentum going and Abigail hip tosses Tholomew OVER the ropes and he crashes into the barricade, startling the fans in the front row!
JIM ROSS: Well so much for the Reverend. The damned CCWF bullies are ruining a perfectly good battle royal!
BOBBY HEENAN: Oh please, Ross. They're following the rules.
Sitre Renenet, Kid Money, Hired Gun and Abigail all pull taser guns out and aim them at Reeve's fallen carcass.
JIM ROSS: You've got to be kidding me. Not again! Not again!
They all pull the triggers and the prongs of each weapon fire and latch right onto Reeve's head which INSTANTLY EXPLODES!!!!!!!!!
JIM ROSS: By god he's been killed so many times he didn't even shake before his head blew up to bits!
BOBBY HEENAN: Maybe this time he'll stay dead.
The Hired Gun takes a hunting knife from his belt and starts using it to cut Reeve's limbs off one by one. He whips each limb out into the fans who are horrified as he tosses legs and arms out like candy. It's strange how many limbs come from one body. It's like in some of the Mortal Kombat games where a guy explodes but you see a bunch of arms and legs fall. After a few minutes, he's finished and there's nothing left of Reeve in the ring except the large puddle of blood. Hired Gun takes some bleach and pours it on the blood and quickly wipes it up with a rag and tosses that rag into a little boy's face in the front row. The canvas is spotless! Reeve is gone for good!
JIM ROSS: Well I guess Reeve has been eliminated. How disgusting.
BOBBY HEENAN: You're telling me. I thought Hired Gun was going to be cleaning for hours, Reeve left such a disgusting mess behind. Yuck!
The CCWF members turn to Code Red who is catching his breath in the corner. They start toward him and he lunges forward, striking Sitre with a closed fist and kicking Kid Money in the shin! He just starts throwing wild shots at whoever he can hit as the fans start to get behind him for a second but here comes Abigail... but Code Red blocks a high kick from her and takes her down! Despite his seemingly heelish presence, the crowd is cheering him on every step of the way! Code boots Abigail in the gut before getting her into a pop- up Powerbomb position! Could it be that Code is looking to hit the Retirement Plan finishing move that eluded him before?
NO! As soon as Code got Abigail onto his shoulders, Code gets kicked in the groin by The Hired Gun as Abigail manages to get over his head and slither out of his hold! And as soon as Code turns around. . .
WHAM!
ONE.
WAY.
TO.
DIE.
From there, it's a simple process to pick up Code Red's dead weight and toss him over the top rope. Code Red tries to cling onto the top rope but falls with a thud, the bell sounds as Abigail raises her hands in victory. The CCWF members exit the ring and each stomp on Code Red a few times for good measure on their way to the back as the fans boo like crazy.
Rossini's La Gazza Ladra plays
A series of firework mortars fire off on the stage as Rossini's classic work starts to play throughout the arena. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website as Robbie steps out. He raises his arms to 45 degree angles while the X-Tron shows clips of Robbie hanging Ellis Bolton using the hook from an undone turnbuckle, and Robbie breaking Wyatt Reynolds across a fire hydrant. Robbie starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, instead flipping backwards over the top rope. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.
Hello Zepp - Charlie Clouser plays
Darkness fills the arena and there is total silence. As the music picks up Steve emerges in the shadows, with one single beam of light shining down on him. He slowly makes his way down the ramp before grasping hold of the middle rope and pulling himself onto the ring apron. He climbs into the ring over the middle rope, and riles himself up for the match.
Steve Davids
- vs -
Robbie Bourbon X-Treme Rules, One Fall
The bell sounds as Robbie and Steve circle each other in the ring, neither man advancing. Bourbon stops and immediately tells Davids how he feels using one finger!
BOBBY HEENAN: That's not a smart move!
Davids charges in and drops Robbie with a double leg take down! Robbie counters with a front chin lock! Davids swivels around and bridges with a pin!
1...
2...
Robbie swivels his hips and wrenches the chin lock in on Davids!
JIM ROSS: Some chain wrestling from the big men here, I didn't see that one coming!
Davids slaps the mat and pushes up, taking some of the leverage from Robbie. Davids powers to his feet, and lifts Robbie into the air! Robbie still has the chin lock set in on Steve Davids!
BOBBY HEENAN: Steve Davids needs to catch his breath! He can't breath as well with that chin lock in from Bourbon!
JIM ROSS: That's a lot of man to lift and have wrapped around your neck, Brain!
Davids sets in a bear hug, squeezing against Robbie! Robbie wrenches in the chin lock even harder!
*BORING*BORING*BORING*BORING*BORING*
Davids drops to a knee, and Robbie releases the chin lock! Davids catches his breath, and scoops Bourbon up and throws him to the mat. He follows up with an elbow drop. He goes for a pin!
1...
2...
Strong kick out by Bourbon! Robbie shakes the cobwebs out as Steve appeals to the referee. Steve turns to Robbie, and grabs him in a head hold. Bourbon kind of rolls out of the way, and uses the ropes to get to his feet. Davids runs in with a clothesline, and Bourbon backdrops him over the top rope! Davids lands with a flop onto the floor! Bourbon leans over the top rope and waves for Davids to get up! Robbie turns around and raises his arms at 45 degree angles. Davids gets to his feet, and is still woozy! Robbie bounces off of the opposite side of the ring's ropes!
JIM ROSS: Oh no!
Bourbon soars over the top rope...
AND DAVIDS MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!
Davids points to his head as Robbie tumbles up towards the ramp itself. Davids turns around and grabs the steel stairs! He holds them up high as the crowd starts to get into it!
JIM ROSS: This is all legal!
Davids runs and chucks the stairs at the grounded Bourbon, and they land with a sick thud flush against his ribs. Robbie rolls over onto his side and into the fetal position following the blow. Davids isn't finished, and he places the steel steps on Bourbon's head! He takes a few steps back, runs, and drops a leg on the steps!
BOBBY HEENAN: He just decapitated Bourbon!
*HOLY SHIT*HOLY SHIT*HOLY SHIT*HOLY SHIT*
Davids is on the ground, grasping at the small of his back after that impact. He slowly makes his way back to his hands and knees, at least, and knocks the stairs off Robbie, tossing an arm over Bourbon for a cover!
1...
2...
Kick out!
JIM ROSS: NO WAY!
BOBBY HEENAN: ROBBIE BOURBON IS NOT HUMAN!
Davids slams the ground with his fist as he gets to his feet. He delivers a stomp to Robbie and walks back to the ring! He goes under the apron and starts to look for something.
JIM ROSS: This doesn't look good for Robbie Bourbon, because Steve Davids is going to end this with whatever he finds under that ring!
Davids comes back out from under the ring holding a sword.
BOBBY HEENAN: A FUCKING GLADIUS?
JIM ROSS: Who in their right mind left that laying around!?!?!
Davids looks at the sword and laughs. Bourbon is struggling to get to his feet, and catches sight of the weapon as he struggles harder! He's leaning over the stairs, when Davids walks right up and plunges the blade right through Robbie's midsection!
JIM ROSS: JESUS CHRIST! STEVE DAVIDS HAS JUST MURDERED ROBBIE BOURBON!
BOBBY HEENAN: ROSS! LOOK!
Robbie immediately cocks his head towards Steve Davids and lets out a bloodlust roar! Davids backs away, letting his grip of the sword free. Davids can't believe his eyes! Bourbon grabs the sword and pulls it out of himself, then spits a sizable blood loogie on the ground. He grimaces at Davids, his teeth soaked and red with blood and bile, as he slams the sword into the concrete, shattering it!
*FUCK 'EM UP ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*CLAP CLAP*FUCK 'EM UP ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*CLAP CLAP*
Bourbon lunges forward and delivers a stiff haymaker right to Steve Davids's jaw, sending him reeling all the way back to the ring apron! Bourbon picks up the steel stairs, and charges at Davids! He slams the stairs straight into his face, sandwiching him against the apron!
*FUCK 'EM UP ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*CLAP CLAP*FUCK 'EM UP ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*CLAP CLAP*
Robbie slugs Davids in the stomach and he doubles over! Robbie grabs Davids in a headhold, and lifts him for a Robbiebomb! But Davids reverses the move and slams Bourbon down on his head! The two slowly get to their feet, heavily breathing and stand off.
Davids attacks with a right hand! Bourbon fires on back! Davids with another! Bourbon teeters on the ropes as Davids grabs him by the arm and throws him into the opposite ropes! Davids catches Bourbon by the throat and hits a Psycho Slam!!!
A cover by Davids!!!!
One!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bourbon kicks out at the last second! Both men lie on the mat and catch their breath. Davids is the first to his feet and goes right after Robbie Bourbon! He grabs Bourbon and turns him over with ease into a Boston Crab!
As big as Robbie Bourbon is he manages to lift himself off of the ground and throw himself backwards to break the hold for a moment, but Davids manages to keep the legs and pull back again! Bourbon yells out and powers his way back up again in attempts to break the hold as the lights flicker and eventually the power to the arena goes completely out!
The lights flash back on and sitting in the corner that Davids was facing while applying his hold is Doctor Louis D'Ville.
D'Ville is wearing his crown atop of his head laughing out loud at Steve Davids as he grinds more and more on the Boston Crab. The referee ignores Robbie Bourbon whether he was safe or not and focusing on the Doctor sitting on the turnbuckle.
D'Ville takes the crown from his head and whips it at Steve Davids and smacks him in the head. As it bounces off of David's head he releases the Boston Crab and stutter steps for a moment before rushing to the corner after D'Ville.
The lights blink off again and six foot flames shoot from each corner of the ring. The lights blink back on and D'Ville is gone and Davids is and Bourbon are standing with their backs to each other in the ring. As they touch backs they turn rapidly and face each other. Robbie Bourbon goes for a kick to the gut but Davids telegraphs the move, swatting away Robbie's foot and sending a hammering blow to Bourbon's face. Davids lifts.
JIM[ & BOBBY: "GAME OVER!!!"
Davids falls on top of Bourbon and the ref begins to count.
ONE!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Davids looks over Bourbon as he music plays, he sneers and exits the ring, looking around for the mysterious D'Ville as Warfare fades to commercial.
After a hard fought battle, Robbie Bourbon makes his way back stage, only to find LeStrange waiting with a baseball bat. "I'm all that's left of the real Dope Show fucker." Robbie Bourbon attempts to calm him down, but fails miserably. LeStrange strikes Bourbon in his right kneecap, causing him to keel over. "You can't pitch for both us and the ass crack smoking Dangerous Alliance." LeStrange kneels down and uses the bat's knob to choke Robbie Bourbon at his throat. "I may be a nobody here R.B., but atleast I have a good sense not to divide my loyalties." LeStrange lets up and gets to his feet, looking down on Robbie Bourbon. "But you aint gotta worry about that anymore, cuz im done."
LeStrange kick Robbie Bourbon in the gut before turning his attention to the camera. "And , hows about it? Got any room over there?" He grins as he turns around to walk way, but not before landing another kick into Robbie Bourbons gut.
Over Under by: Egypt Central plays
The Light's in the arena go out! White strobe light's start flashing on the entrance ramp as "Over Under" by Egypt Central blares through the PA. Fontanna walks on to the stage...head bowed down. He walks to the ring not making eye contact with anyone. He stops on the ramp and then slowly turns his head towards the entrance...when "The Queen of Halloween" Nikkie Haven walks out onto the stage. Her face painted up like a pumpkin...she joins Fontanna on the ramp and the pair walk down to the ring. Fontanna slides in the ring...he offers his hand for Nikkie to climb into the ring! He kisses her hand and leads her back out of the ring as we await the start of the match...
Sick Like Me by In This Moment
The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of SICK LIKE ME by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage. As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely queen Maria Brink #2 come out to the ramp. They smile at each other before going down the ramp hand in hand. Peter bobs his head to the song. They get in the ring together and Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Peter hops down and hugs Maria as they wait his next victim.
Panic! at the Disco - Nine in the Afternoon plays
"Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! at the Disco begins to play and Iris Oppenheimer bounces down to the ring. Yes, bounces. As in so wired up with enthusiasm, she can't help but jump up and down on her way to the ring.
Akira by Anamanaguchi plays
Akira by Anamanaguchi blasts as colored lights pass over the roaring crowd. Game Girl springs from behind the curtain and begins to energetically hops down the ramp. Smiling, waving and high fiving fans. When in the ring she proceeds to power up.
MAIN EVENT
Game Girl & Iris Oppenheimer
- vs -
Peter Gilmour & Fontanna Tornado Tag, One Fall
The bell sounds and the match starts off with Iris Oppenhimer and Fontanna in the ring. Iris, the friendly spirit that she is, walks towards Fontanna and offers her hand with a sheepishly large smile on her face. 'Pleased to meet you,' she mouths. Fontanna looks unsure what to do here since most of his opponents have been agressive up to this point. Cautiously, he takes her hand and shakes it. The crowd applauds in approval.
JIM ROSS: And an excellent show of sportsmanship here by Fontanna as we get started with out main event! Are you excited, Brain?
BOBBY HEENAN: You bet your fat, Oklahoman ass I am, Ross! I've always been a fan of Gilly, and now I also get to check him out with the ladies.
JIM ROSS: Dammit Brain, show some class once in a while. It'll do ya a lotta good.
After that, the two legal fighters start to circle around the ring, waiting for the right moment to tie up. They continue like this for a few moments before they both charge at each other with a collar and elbow tie up. Iris gains the upper hand by locking Fontanna in an arm wrench. He groans in pain for a little bit before he locks her up in a headlock. He holds her there for a few moments before he flips her onto her back and locks in a sleeper hold. However, it is far too early to put her out with that, as she throws a few elbows to his head to loosen his grip.
JIM ROSS: Slow start to this match right now, seems perfectly even so far.
BOBBY HEENAN: This is fucking boring.
Afterwards, she slips out and goes behind Fontanna, where she drops him with a Russian leg sweep. He gets back up immediately to get a dropkick to the face from Iris. Fontanna drops down to the floor and looks out to the middle of nowhere wondering what just happened. She picks him up and drags him over to her corner, where she tags in Game Girl. GG wastes no time continuing where Iris left off by throwing a quick A button jab.
The jab knocks Fontanna back a bit, leaving her enough room to throw a kick. However, he catches it and rolls her down to the ground with a dragon screw. Not letting up, he proceeds to stomp on her grounded knee five or so times before dragging her to his corner. Gilly proceeds to slp Fontanna hard on his back and steps inside, recieving a glare from his partner all the while. Fontanna stays in the ring, and both men begin to stomp on Girl while Iris climbs the ropes and jumps off with a Senton Atomico that sends both men to the ground under her. She hooks one of each man's legs, and goes for a pin.
1
2
The Ref breaks it up.
Ref: I refuse to count the pins until you guys start obeying the rules of Tornado Tag!
He kicks Iris off of the men, and they all get to their feet. They all brush themselves off, and look at each other. Peter is the first to move, surprisingly agile for a man of his size, he grabs Iris first and trashes her with a--
JIM and BOBBY: GILMOUR CUTTER!
He springboards up, and drops GG with another Cutter that lands her right on top of Iris.
JIM ROSS: And another for Game Girl!
BOBBY HEENAN: That's Game Bitch, Ross.
JIM ROSS: Oh, don't tell me you listen to that lower- class garbage he spews.
BOBBY HEENAN: Why shouldn't I? The man is a legend.
Peter gets to his feet and begins to laugh in their faces, spit flying from his gums, jowls shaking. Fontanna is outside of the ring, he's digging through the front of the crowd. He suddenly lets out a loud laugh as he comes back into the ring, to find Peter laid out by Iris and Game Girl waiting for him. Before he steps into the ring, he pulls the sledge hammer he was holding behind his back out, and raises it in the air. Game Girl chuckles, and lifts her hands up into the air. She's holding a blue sparkly 16 bit Mallet, and brings it down right on top of Fontanna's head.
BOBBY HEENAN: That. . . has got to hurt.
Fontanna crumples. GG drags his ass into the ring, and lays him out in the middle of the ring. She goes for the pin, as Iris is trying to lift Peter to his feet, he's too fat and she's too skinny and weak. Peter sees this, and pulls her down to the mat, before popping up himself. He makes like he's going to help, but instead sucker punches Iris in the face. He then walks over to where the ref has just started counting GG's pin.
1
Kick to the ribs from Peter breaks up the pin. GG rolls off of Fontanna, and Peter helps Tanna up, before mouthing "BRB" and walking out of the ring. He goes off, leaving Fontanna alone in the ring. GG and Iris are both up, and begin a double assault of Fontanna's face with fists. GG is throwing them so fast they can barely be made out. Iris taps GG on the shoulder, and they back away, letting Fontanna up. The girls back away, and Iris makes her way to the far corner and climbs the ropes. Fontanna charges at her, full steam ahead, while GG steps out of the way. He gets close, and she leaps off for a MY BODY AS A SHIELD! The Imploding 450 splash looks devastating, but is countered when Peter arrives seemingly out of nowhere with a Gilmour Cutter that sends her hard to the mat. He hooks for a pin.
1. . .
BOBBY HEENAN: That's it.
2. . .
BOBBY HEENAN: Say goodnight.
Thr- NO! GG managed to realize what the hell was going on at the last moment and broke that shit up!
BOBBY HEENAN: WHAT?!
JIM ROSS: While I commend Gilmour for that display of athleticism, it seems as though Game Girl has his number here tonight.
BOBBY HEENAN: Game Bitch, JR, remember that. And speaking of Peter, here comes his partner!
Fontanna tackles Game Girl to the floor! The two of them are laying into each other with punches! But Iris manages to get back to her feet at the same time as Gilmour, and they grab the opposite partner; Iris grabs Fontanna, and Peter grabs Game Girl. Together, they pull them apart.
Iris strikes Fontanna with a nasty European Uppercut, and Peter boots Game Girl in the gut. Then, all of a sudden. . .
JIM ROSS: The Eye of Truth from Iris!
Meanwhile. . .
BOBBY HEENAN: THE INFECTION FROM PETER!
But. . . GAME GIRL MANAGES TO ROLL OUT OF THE INFECTION IN TIME!
Peter turns to Game Girl, stunned, but then Game Girl. . . steals Peter's finishing move!
JIM and BOBBY: ENDGAME!
Game Girl is just about to go for the pin after landing the stolen Endgame on Gilmour. However, a loud static sound distracts her from finishing up the job. She looks up at the X-Tron and sees static that matches the sound that's ringing out in the audience's ears. As soon as almost everyone's attention, an announcer's voice rings out through the arena.
Announcer:
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!
After a few seconds of what feels like loading, the static fades and we see Christopher Isles in the green room with his friend, Dustin Evergreen. There's a laptop on a coffee table with some fighting game loaded up. Chris and Dustin have smiles on their faces, like they're having fun or they're expecting something surprising. After a few more seconds of anticipation, Chris proceeds to speak.
Christopher: Sup, brah? You pull off some fancy shit on the X-Tron and I'll do the same without the effects. Ya see, Paige, I said I was coming after that title. And since I want to make good with my promise, I want to present ya with a little something for your amusement.
Chris motions the camera man to get closer to get a better view of what's shown on the laptop. After taking two whole steps, we see sprites of both Game Girl and Christopher Isles on the computer, both of them in a fighting stance. Chris' sprite looks a little sloppy, but you can at least tell that it's him. Game Girl, on the other hand, looks more professionally made, yet the character's name is Ramona for some reason. With that, the cameraman backs up and shows both Chris and Dustin in full view, both of whom are still smiling.
Christopher: Impressed? No? Well I'm not either, so don't feel too bad about it. I downloaded some build your own fighting game called "Mugen". Now watch what happens when Dustin presses the right trigger.
The non wrestler waves the controller at the camera at the mention of his name.
Christopher: Ya might want ta get closer to see this, brah.
The cameraman does so and zooms in on the monitor. After that, Dustin can be heard pressing the right trigger the screen flashes black for a moment before Chris' sprite can be seen rushing after Paige/Ramona and knocks her down with a lariat. She quickly gets up to a knee facing Christopher. He then spins around and hits her with a back kick! He's not done there, however, as he spins around and hits another! And a third!
He then has her in a headlock and drives her head down to the floor!
Announcer:
KAAAAAY-OOOOOOOOH!
The camera zooms out and focuses on Chris, who is cackling at the sight of the special move being performed successfully.
Christopher: Wasn't that awesome, brah!? Well, I mean not for you, but it was awesome for me!
He dies his laughter down before he continues with his thoughts.
Christopher: Tell ya what, How about me and you have a match on the 26th for that belt of yours. Best of five. One match for every decade of gaming history. That's right, brah, we're going from the seventies to now! Doesn't that sound like a main event worth watchin'?
The crowd claps for a little while.
Christopher: So what 'cha say, brah? Ya want it? I'll give ya 'till this match ends to think 'bout it.
Chris chuckles to himself.
Christopher: And it looks like it's going to very soon, brah.
Just then, Fontanna rolls up Game Girl for a schoolboy pin! The ref drops down for the count!
1...
2...
Iris with the save! Oppenheimer throws Fontanna away and begins to lay into him. Paige gets back to her feet and looks to Gilmour who is back on his feet! And he's ready to kick some 16-bit ass, but he's intercepted by a mysterious man! THE HIRED GUN JUST ROCK BOTTOMED PETER GILMOUR!
JIM ROSS: "ROCK BOTTOM!!!"
BOBBY HEENAN: "ROCK BOTTOM!!!!"
THE HIRED GUN: "ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!"
The Hired Gun says with every pelvic thrust in Gilmour's face.
THE HIRED GUN: "That's right you tiny dicked biotch! You just got rocked by the boy with the big ol' dick! CCWF OR DEATH biiiiiiiiiiiitches!!!!"
With that THG throws both middle fingers into the air and leaves the ring to a roar of boos. Game Girl looks to Iris and Fontanna and then back to the fallen Gilmour, she seems confused not knowing really what to do before shrugging and pinning Gilmour.
1
Fontanna tries to shove Iris aside.
2
But Iris grabs Fontanna's head and drops him with an Inverted DDT!
3!!!!!!
JIM ROSS: "Game Girl and Iris Oppenheimer get the win!"
Akira by Anamanaguchi plays as GG jumps up in victory, Iris rushes over and the two celebrate giddily holding their hand and bouncing like lunatics.
BOBBY HEENAN: "... Fucking bitches."
Wrestler of the Week:
Robbie Bourbon
Quote of the Week:
"This isn't BACK TO THE FUTURE Shane. There is no Doc Brown or Marty McFly. But if you keep fucking with me and the rest of the people who bust their asses every fuckin' week in the company that YOU took over from the late, great JON BROWN, I will have to go all BIFF TANNEN on your ass and beat the living shit out of you, K-got no Money and that cunt Angelica and the Goddess herself if she gets out of line." - Peter Fucking Gilmour Esq.
Well, not quite what I was expecting, I don't know if there just wasn't room for the work I sent in or if it just got the shaft but other then that I can't really gripe
Win/Loss record:2-3
Accomplishments: 1x Xtreme Champ (8/23/2015-9/2/2015(aired on 9/4/2015) Length:11 Days)
ooc: Fucking EPIC main event! Thanks to the writers for telling an amazing story this week. Had a lot of fucking fun this week!
Peter you where a hell of a partner this week. I'm sorry I let that cunt Iris get the best of me. I should have had your back and I let you down! It would be an honor to fight with you in the battlefield again, even though I'm totally kicking your boy Dim's ass this week on Madness. If you need some help dealing with that Hired Gun CCWF cocksucker then call on me brother!
Dere's a Dick Sucker around these parts? Besides Fontanna's career? Someone suck me.
Gilly Dick is sprung like a mother fucker.
Gilly check your boy! Get a hold of that mother fucker before he writes a check he can't cash!
That's funny because I was about to say the same thing, you best Fontanna yo monkey ass out of my business before something bad happens to you. Something like me hitting that ol' Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom on ya, ya stupid sum'bitch!!!!!!! Then while you're laid out your girl will get a fresh coat of face paint since she likes it so much. Ask Gilmo, that boy with the big ol dick has been sticking it to his gutter slags for years, ALL OF THEM DIRTY BITCHES!
ooc; WHomever DIck of Gilmour is I hope u fuckin die! seriously.. its not funny..
IC: HIRED GUN.. OR SHOULD I SAY MR. XWF.. YOU ARE A FUCKIN' DEAD MAN! WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKIN NECK THEN YOUR DICK! MARK MY WORDS! CCWF JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!!!
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
Dere's a Dick Sucker around these parts? Besides Fontanna's career? Someone suck me.
Gilly Dick is sprung like a mother fucker.
Gilly check your boy! Get a hold of that mother fucker before he writes a check he can't cash!
That's funny because I was about to say the same thing, you best Fontanna yo monkey ass out of my business before something bad happens to you. Something like me hitting that ol' Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom on ya, ya stupid sum'bitch!!!!!!! Then while you're laid out your girl will get a fresh coat of face paint since she likes it so much. Ask Gilmo, that boy with the big ol dick has been sticking it to his gutter slags for years, ALL OF THEM DIRTY BITCHES!
Very soon I'm going to get my revenge and reveal you as MR. XWF! YOU'RE NEXT !
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
Dere's a Dick Sucker around these parts? Besides Fontanna's career? Someone suck me.
Gilly Dick is sprung like a mother fucker.
Gilly check your boy! Get a hold of that mother fucker before he writes a check he can't cash!
That's funny because I was about to say the same thing, you best Fontanna yo monkey ass out of my business before something bad happens to you. Something like me hitting that ol' Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom on ya, ya stupid sum'bitch!!!!!!! Then while you're laid out your girl will get a fresh coat of face paint since she likes it so much. Ask Gilmo, that boy with the big ol dick has been sticking it to his gutter slags for years, ALL OF THEM DIRTY BITCHES!
Hey bitch how about you take off that Mortal Kombat rip off of a mask and suck my dick you !
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
ooc: I can think of a few names (Maddy, theo, luca, pest/frodo...) shall I go on?
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
(08-19-2015, 09:40 PM)Fontanna Said: Gilly check your boy! Get a hold of that mother fucker before he writes a check he can't cash!
That's funny because I was about to say the same thing, you best Fontanna yo monkey ass out of my business before something bad happens to you. Something like me hitting that ol' Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom on ya, ya stupid sum'bitch!!!!!!! Then while you're laid out your girl will get a fresh coat of face paint since she likes it so much. Ask Gilmo, that boy with the big ol dick has been sticking it to his gutter slags for years, ALL OF THEM DIRTY BITCHES!
Hey bitch how about you take off that Mortal Kombat rip off of a mask and suck my dick you !
GILMO! That boy with the big ol dick said GILMO! You just going to let this fruit booty ass, don'tcha wanna wanna fanta fanta ass knob goblin steal your best material? Don't you see he's trying to ride your coattails to glory? Before you know it he's going to be dropping bitches with your finisher and yelling, END GAME, END GAME, END GAME, END GAME! STOP THIS THIEF!
(08-19-2015, 10:15 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: HIRED GUN.. OR SHOULD I SAY MR. XWF.. YOU ARE A FUCKIN' DEAD MAN! WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKIN NECK THEN YOUR DICK! MARK MY WORDS! CCWF JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!!!
What? Gilmo, that hurts man, that hurts, makes me cry right out of my big ol dick. How could you compare me to that fucking loser? He has XWF in his god dizzamn name for dicks sake! I could never be Mr.XWF because that boy with the big ol dick has always been CCWF down to his bones! And did you just say you were going to break my dick homie? That's funny because your women always tell me the same thing! Oh they try, BOY DO THEY TRY! However it's always my big ol dick that cums out on top!
You got lucky LeStrange, you know what would happen if you faced me one on one, try it, I dare you
Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno
XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:
One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"
(08-19-2015, 10:15 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: HIRED GUN.. OR SHOULD I SAY MR. XWF.. YOU ARE A FUCKIN' DEAD MAN! WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKIN NECK THEN YOUR DICK! MARK MY WORDS! CCWF JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!!!
What? Gilmo, that hurts man, that hurts, makes me cry right out of my big ol dick. How could you compare me to that fucking loser? He has XWF in his god dizzamn name for dicks sake! I could never be Mr.XWF because that boy with the big ol dick has always been CCWF down to his bones! And did you just say you were going to break my dick homie? That's funny because your women always tell me the same thing! Oh they try, BOY DO THEY TRY! However it's always my big ol dick that cums out on top!
Yeah on top of other men u .. your end is coming soon BITCH!
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
(08-19-2015, 10:15 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: HIRED GUN.. OR SHOULD I SAY MR. XWF.. YOU ARE A FUCKIN' DEAD MAN! WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKIN NECK THEN YOUR DICK! MARK MY WORDS! CCWF JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!!!
What? Gilmo, that hurts man, that hurts, makes me cry right out of my big ol dick. How could you compare me to that fucking loser? He has XWF in his god dizzamn name for dicks sake! I could never be Mr.XWF because that boy with the big ol dick has always been CCWF down to his bones! And did you just say you were going to break my dick homie? That's funny because your women always tell me the same thing! Oh they try, BOY DO THEY TRY! However it's always my big ol dick that cums out on top!
Yeah on top of other men u .. your end is coming soon BITCH!
So let Admiral Appendage get this straight, you're saying all of your women were and are men? Looks like you're ridding the train right along with that boy wit the big old dick!
"If I didnt know any better...Hired Gun loves talking about cock and ...Seems a little suspect to me. Seeing as you kicked me in the groin on Warefare, You probably sit when you pee.'
(08-20-2015, 03:06 PM)CodeRed Said: "If I didnt know any better...Hired Gun loves talking about cock and ...Seems a little suspect to me. Seeing as you kicked me in the groin on Warefare, You probably sit when you pee.'
Who in the blue hell, that boy with the big old dick said....WHO IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU? Instead of worrying about who kicked you where, ya need to be worrying about how your monkey ass is walking around here with a name that sounds like it's that time of the fucking month. Code Red, SOMEBODY BREAK OUT THE TAMPONS!!!
i only fuck the top quality WOMEN.. it's not my fault you suck dick!
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
(08-20-2015, 03:06 PM)CodeRed Said: "If I didnt know any better...Hired Gun loves talking about cock and ...Seems a little suspect to me. Seeing as you kicked me in the groin on Warefare, You probably sit when you pee.'
Who in the blue hell, that boy with the big old dick said....WHO IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU? Instead of worrying about who kicked you where, ya need to be worrying about how your monkey ass is walking around here with a name that sounds like it's that time of the fucking month. Code Red, SOMEBODY BREAK OUT THE TAMPONS!!!
'Try again shit stain. Pull my dick outta your throat first....ill wait.'
WIZZAIT! That boy with the big ol dick said WIZZAIT one damn minute here! Is Mr. Nother name for a period trying to act brolic right now? Bizzitch perhaps you missed Warfare, you know when Dr. Xtremity and the CCWF got all up in that ass! So what do you want me to try again? WHIPPING YOUR MONKEY ASS!?!?!? Or maybe you like getting verbally shit on which is why you keep tugging on Sgt. Superdongs Cape. Either way what you're doing isn't going to end well for you menstrual man IF YAH SUH-MEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW........... What that boy with the big ol dick is cookin. Which is nothing actually, I got a dinner date with Gilmo's woman. You know, a little dinner then "netflix and chill" if you will.
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
(08-20-2015, 09:24 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: sadly u got a date with a guy named bubba ;)
maria is mine forever
GILMO ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION YOU STUPID CUNT!?!?!? You said the same thing about Rose too but after years of Dr. Xtremity dicking her down behind your back, you kicked that skank to the curb. Good call by the way, Maria is much better in bed, ADMIRAL APPENDAGE SAID MUCH BETTER!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
So Gilmo you're telling that boy with the big ol dick that Rose was better than Maria? Dr.Xtremity guesses that everybody is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong they are but even so.... YOU SHOULDN'T SAY YOUR EX IS BETTER AT SEX THAN YOUR CURRENT WOMAN YA BIG OL MAN TITTIED BIZZITCH!
both women gave the super dick a ride i wont ever forget. i cant choose between them but they both were satisfied.. so suck on that !
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
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, hows about it? Got any room over there?" He grins as he turns around to walk way, but not before landing another kick into Robbie Bourbons gut.
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