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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Liquor Smashing Blues
Author Message
Christopher Isles Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
08-10-2015, 08:17 PM


Christopher: Okay, I took some aspirin in order to calm my headache after listening to this drunken mess ramble about how much smarter he is than me, so I'd say I'm ready to take him on once more. Maybe I could also take his other video and talk over what I missed, just to torture myself a little more. Ya got both videos ready, brah?

Dustin: Just about, dude. Lemme know when and we'll get this shit started.

Christopher: Just give me a minute to prepare, will ya brah? Listening to this man drone about intelligence and wit makes me want to drink, myself.

[Chris pauses for moment to take a deep breath in. A few seconds later, he exhales the CO2 quite loudly in the form of a sigh. He then looks back at Dustin, a determined look in his eyes signalling to him that he's ready to go. Dustin nods off camera and proceeds to continue with Dominic's first address towards Chris.]

The Worst Cop in the World Said:"He's still here. The man has beaten death and he came right back into the place that killed him in the first place."

Christopher: Came back? Dude, Peter never left. He's basically become the Mickey Mouse, the Bugs Bunny, the fucking Homer Simpson of the XWF. He's the person that everyone thinks about when they hear about our fed. Besides, even if he did leave, the place would be really fucking dull, ya know? The dude's our go to punching bag, and without him, everything might as well be like 1984.

Did he really beat death? I mean, if anyone deserves the credit of beating death, it'd be the doctors that Petey manhandled after losing. I'm sure Peter didn't do much to fight of death more than the shock paddles, brah. So much for trying to make him a badass.

Some Regular Bar Patron Said:"Could we say the same about you? Would you keep on comin' back? I don't think ya would since you're looking at that list and just can't stop thinkin' of ways to twist it so it sounds negative, blind to how it just boosts the man you're tryin' to tear down up more and more."

Christopher: Never been raped, never been castrated, never been killed. I know they're imaginary scenarios, but come on, did you really have to pull a "no you" on me? That's fucking low and lazy. How am I boosting him up, anyways? The man hasn't done anything exactly amazing since last year. During then, I think he tried to pass himself off as the king until he didn't sign up for the tournament and the Doctor, now a former Universal Champ, bit his ear off. That was a highlight mind you. I don't think anyone else can say anything else about the man besides what I just brought up.

An Associate for Mr. Daniels Said:"See, ya can flaunt that victory over him last time ya fought all ya want. Ain't gonna do ya any good when you're surrounded by completely new circumstances but by all means, think it'll help ya out.

Christopher: Brah, the only thing new you're bringing to the table is liver failure. Everything else you might have for me has been done by all those other wrestlers in other feds and YouTube videos. unless you have some super innovative move that you know no one else has used, then cut the crap and admit that there's nothing original or new about your fighting style.

Dustin: Want me ta load up the next video, dude?

Christopher: Of course, brah. Why wouldn't ya?

Dustin: Just making sure he didn't make your brain explode, dude.

[Chris laughs as Dustin swipes away the first video and proceeds to move on to the most recent video of his.]

Dustin: Lemme know, brah.

[Once again, Chris takes a moment or so to mentally prepare himself for Dominic's video by inhaling and exhaling.]

Christopher: Okay, brah. Start it up.

Dustin: 'Kay.

[With that, Dustin presses play and the video starts.]

The Gumshoe with Gum on his Shoes Said:"This is supposed to be a war of words, ain't it?"

Christopher: Again, brah, it's in our contract to release a video to the site trashing our opponent and showing to the management we didn't have a fucker heart attack. You can try to negotiate something out with the higher ups, but they'd probably just laugh at ya.

The Anonymous Alcoholic "Genius" Said:"The cruel irony here is that Chris here likes to provoke these little exchanges, despite A, lacking any of the skills needed to win a battle of wits, namely wit, and B, the fact that these little exchanges are completely superfluous."

Christopher: You like to play yourself off as a smart man, right? If that's the case, why aren't ya smart enough to put down the brown bottle? Booze kills brain cells too, brah. Unless you're readin' from a script ya made yourself before you started drinkin'. I know the thesaurus is your friend, but your drinking isn't helpin' ya remember that.

Also, I find it funny that ya think wit only resorts to talking. 'Cause wrestling is a mindless sport, right? Ya don't need ta think when there's fighting involved, yeah? Well when drinking is involved, it might as well be, brah. Besides, I've trained myself for this sport years in advance. In your past five years or so, you just fought other drunks in a brawl. Lemme ask ya, do you really think you have more of an advantage than me on your first day here? If ya do, then that booze really is gettin' in your head, brah.

But wait a minute, what am I talking about, you went on to say that having wit is completely irrelevant! So maybe you don't need to be smart to fight a guy, but ya wanna know somethin'? It really helps to have a strategy. It also helps if you don't have those double standards of yours. When Peter does or says something stupid, you'll forgive him 'cause he's your partner and you know he's stupid. But all of a sudden, when I do or say something stupid, it's inexcusable. Make up your fuckin' mind, dude!

The Dude who Thinks Smart Water Applies to Beer Said:"Like the pedestal ya put yourself on because ya beat Peter the last time faced him. And how ya fought off Dim and his crew after.

"That's all fine and dandy, but let me drop a name I'm sure you're familiar with.

"Robbie Bourbon."

Christopher: Yeah, I get it, he beat me the second time around and you honestly think that applies to Peter as well. The only problem is that Robbie actually knows what he's doing and has the wit, something you said doesn't matter, to actually pull it off. Hell, the dude would have to be smarter than Peter if the man wanted to fight in a hardcore cooking match. Peter, on the other hand, thinks he still has a dick and he wants people to suck it. Not exactly a good comparison between the two.

As for Ellis? Yeah he beat me, and I admit that I was a little overconfident when fighting him. But again, not a good comparison brah. Ellis hasn't been seen after Robbie beat him. At least choose people who are still fighting, brah. Maybe then I might be able to take you somewhat seriously. Next thing you'll tell me is that Abbadon should be the next king of the XWF because he had two matches and won one of them.

Flawed Logic Man Said:"Also, it ain't any surprise ya don't understand idioms."

Christopher: Do you hear that, kids? If you aren't familiar with anything, it makes ya stupid! You don't remember seeing your uncle two years ago? You're stupid for not rememberin'! Not used to being in a new house? You're stupid for not gettin' used to it! Ya see where I'm goin' with this shit, brah? Just because I never heard it used all that often, it doesn't make me stupid. It's quite stupid to assume that, dude.

Barroom Blitzer Said:"But hey, if ya want to dismiss me like I'm nothing go right ahead.

Christopher: I just said that I didn't want to listen to your ramblings, I never dismissed ya as a joke because Gilly's with ya. Nah, brah, I think you might have a shot if ya weren't stuck with him. Besides, what I say shouldn't really be buggin' ya if the match is what you're concerned with. Ya like puttin' words into my mouth, don't 'cha? Well then, see if you can twist this shit around.

My name's Christopher Isles. I'm in my early twenties and I'm about to fight my way up the ladder to become a champion. You can stand in my way all ya like, but when your head is locked in my iron grip, you'll be put to death right in the center of that ring. And then, just because I can, I'll pin ya for the three count. If I'm feeling mischievous, I can put you to death once more. And then I can to the same to Peter because that man is nothing but an annoyance that needs to be euthanized. And maybe, if they want to have some fun, I'll put down his butt buddy and the Krabby Kloaked Kids as well.

All that happens on Wednesday, brah. Don't think it'll happen?

[Chris can't help but to let out a couple chuckles.]

Christopher: Trust me, brah, I will stop at nothin' to make sure that's how the match ends.

[Dustin can be heard 'Ooooh'ing after Chris finishes his sentence. The scene cuts to black sometime during the middle of Dustin's chant.]

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