"So, kiddies, and yes, I am talking to Dean's friends. It looks like I'm back. I mean, not a huge deal, because I've already won my return match, but I'm just celebrating the fact that once again, I'll lead a team to victory. It looks like this time I'll have to share the goddamn victory. I'll have that fat miserable piece of shit standing beside me crying about how tough he is, and how he did all the work, even though he'll get eliminated right away. If he even survives the bell ringing that is. I mean, he is in a match with Fontanna, Anthony Steele, or and that other piece of faggotshit CJ Sharpe. Seriously, how many times did I have to get on CJ Sharpe's shit because he kept trying to talk out of turn about me? As if we were goddamn friends or something. Because I made fun of Darren Dangerous once or twice. Well, who the fuck cares? I sure as fuck don't, and clearly Darren is too fat and stupid to pay attention. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Darren won't even pay attention to the things I'm going to say in here. Because he's a fat fucking sack of stupid and disappointment to his parents.
Honestly, Darren should have ended being flushed down the drain in the back of an abortion clinic or something. But, as bad as he is, at least he's actually deserving to be in the ring. Unlike either CJ Sharpe or Anthony Steele. The goddamn stupid ass mother fuckers who call each other the Hardcore Hitman and the God of Gore. Jesus, like we don't have enough stupid ass mother fuckers running around with those goddamn gimmicks. 'Oh, look at me, I'm talking about how badass I am, while never being able to win a fucking match against someone who finds these types of matches to be boring.' Oh, right. I just described Fontanna, CJ Sharpe, Anthony Steele, and more than likely Chameleon. Which, by the way, those names are all fucking . And sound like the collection of gay porn stars. Which is something, I'm pretty familiar with. But, hey, I'm not judging anyone. It's important to remember that you're accepted for who you are, CJ, Anthony, and Fontanna. Not you Chameleon, you're name is even more than I can bear. And I dealt with raYne. So, no, you owe me a goddamn apology. I will honestly expect you to apologize to me for making me say your fuckstack name.
Look, I can explain why each of you suck enough dick to make Dean's year, but, there's just not enough time in the world for that. For real, guys, I'm only allowed a certain amount of time, and you give me a bunch of needle dick seal fuckers, yes, those seals, to make fun of. Three promos, and only 30 minutes of talk time per promo. That's only about enough time to scratch the surface of Darren Dangerous needing to thank his lucky fucking ducks that my dick isn't big enough to fuck his asshole all the way from my goddamn bathtub. A bathtub, something he clearly doesn't use. I mean, look at the company he fucking keeps. That skank who goes around like anyone in the world wants to sleep with her. Bitch, you look like Pest in a wig. And, that is not a pretty sight. Not for anyone. And, I could end my promo right now, and I'd still go on for longer for than the other team does. Combined. Because they're all too fucking stupid to work a fucking camera. Which actually is kind of telling about me, in that I got myself involved with these shitballs, willingly. Fuck, I miss Bible Camp.
CJ, you are fucking obsessed with Darren and Amanda, bruh, it's terribly sad. You honestly think either of those two are the goddamn factors that decide this fucking match? No, homeslice. Darren, he's just something for me to fucking play with until I get bored. Filling you in on this shit, I am going to piss in Darren's pocket in the match. I'm going to straight up pull my dick out and piss in his mother fucking pocket. Right before I put my goddamn dick on his mother fucking head, Do you know what the fuck that means? It means he's not a fucking concern. I am. Stupid fucking autistic . Jesus, Dean and I are the only two mother fuckers who matter. I mean, Pringle Boi is pretty badass, but he's not some known massive beast. Dean and I are former champions. Dean held like 33 titles at one time. Or something like that. I'm not sure the full extent, but what I know is that he is more decorated than anyone in your team could ever hope to be. Hell, you could combine all of your team's members into one being, and they'd still be less decorated than Deany Baby. Sweet Jesus, you mother fucking Autistic piece of trailer trash, go back and blast some ICP while you try and snuggle up to your aunt's panties or something.
Anthony, you mother fucking cockstain. I don't really have much to mock you for, except for your shitty name. Seriously, you sound like the gay person cross between AJ Soprano and Lexington Steele. Kinda look like him as well. And what kind of pussy as name is "God of Gore" I'm so terrified that you might get your water on the brain all over me. You know, I got a third kid. Dude is legit and weird looking. Luca shot it, it didn't die. Thing is, that kid is a lot more functional than you are. More so you're less functional than the condom I never used when I made my first two kids. The ones I actually care about. Hell, my 16 year old son could probably get in the ring and do better than you. Because he's not got a penis for a brain, which I'm sure you do.
Fontanna, how's it going? Apparently you've been involved in some matches that I should care about. Like you losing to Morbid Angel, losing twice to Tommy Wish, and somehow managing to scrape by with a win over Thunderbolt. I'm shocked you managed to actually get a win. Cool story for you. I'll be sure to put that shit on a T-Shirt or something. You know, should someone decide to give enough of a shit to actually purchase your merchandise. Because you're such shit that I couldn't even give away your shirts in the bathroom of a Taco Bell after removing all of their toilet paper. People would rather wipe their asses with their bare hands and lick it clean than touch something with your name attached to it. I heard rumors that Shane had to force people to stick around to watch your match. Even with the prospect of you dying, people were uninterested in watching you. How the fuck does that feel, bruh? Hell, no one even cares that you're in this match. Not even your own goddamn team. Ain't that sad? I am probably the only attention you'll get all week. That prolly should be rolled out to the end of the year. You won't get much more attention this year. Now, apologize for ruining the name Freddy. You're bringing my good fucking name down, just because you share the same first name as me. Dildo.
Sup, Chameleon. How's it going? I don't much about you, except that you were in the freakshow. Prolly should have stayed there, homie. You'd get more respect there than you will here. People don't wanna fuck with Dick Show because you guys pose any sort of threat. We like to fuck with you because it's funny to throw rocks at the who can't even come close to hitting you with the rocks they toss. Bruh, you're not even really throwing rocks. What you got is those stupid fucking packing peanuts, but ones that were soaked in goat piss. Dude, your next promo might as well be titled, 'Please Mister Smackins, don't rape my face with a twelve inch vibrating, three speed dildo.' And I might consider not doing that. Because, right now, Scales, that's my fucking plan. Just answer me this question, bruh. How is it that you joined the Dick Show before joining the federation, when it was seriously formed on Sunday. And you've been in the company since Friday. You joined before these decided to form a stable and protect themselves from the scary force of Darren Dangerous. You formed a stable to protect yourself from this dipshit who can't tell he's being fucked with. Dude, we got Glisten in this cocksucking mother fucking ass touching stable! And Darren thinks it's all according to his goddamn design. Hahaha.
Ok, so I think I ran through everyone of importance. Let's get to the last person. Darren, buddy, how's it going? See, you're one stupid mother fucker. You know that? I can say this, I know you won't pay attention to the things I'm saying. You think I'm here because I like you? Nah, son, I'ma put my dick all over your head. Just to anger you. And, then to make things funnier, I'm going to piss myself laughing while you lose to Swagmire. Who, toothless, is my fucking brother. My heterosexual brother. Hell, I know he warned you of what would happen when I got back before you lost to Scully. Of course, you're too stupid to piece these things together. So, I'll spell it out for you. You're a goddamn joke. That won't stop being funny. Like Thunderbolt. Congratulations. Now, go give Shane his money.
. And sound like the collection of gay porn stars. Which is something, I'm pretty familiar with. But, hey, I'm not judging anyone. It's important to remember that you're accepted for who you are, CJ, Anthony, and Fontanna. Not you Chameleon, you're name is even more ![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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