Leroy holds court in his recently acquired, super-secret underground bunker. He stares into a huge mirror, flexing and adjusting a golden crown atop his bald head. Behind him are his underlings, The Iron Valkyries, Ultra, Funky The Clown and Koda Han.

Funky The Clown: Boss, howcum you're not looking at us while you explain your evil plan?

Leroy: Fool! This way I can admire my muscles from the front, while you admire me from the back and I look at you in the mirror! Its a win-win for everyone, especially you guys...!

Jade: So, Leroy. This upcoming match is taking place in a cage...does this mean that you're finally going to actually fight your opponent, man to man?

Vixen: Oh, that's right! Leroy, I'm proud of you! You didn't even pull out of the match!

Leroy: Fight...in a cage? Look at these muscles....

Leroy flexes.

Leroy: I'm sculpted, I'm ripped, I'm a living, breathing sculpture, woman. How irresponsible and ridiculous would it be for me to step into the ring with some fool like Owen Crooks and risk my hard-earned aesthetic....? What's next, using the Mona Lisa as a shield in a street fight? Come on!

Jade: Hard earned...? But, you were born looking like that. You don't even really work out....do you? I mean, besides showing off from time to time...

Leroy: Woman, any body can create. It takes a real man to maintain! Which is where Ultra comes in...

Ultra, his arm in a sling from last Warfare, where MacBeth snapped it, looks up.

Leroy: Actually, you don't come into this at all. I almost had to fight Chris MacBeth myself last week! You were supposed to be my secret weapon...and you failed me! I'm now forced to go to Plan B...my other secret weapon....! I call him...

...Big Bad Leroy!

A door opens, and a figure armored from head to toe stands at the entrance.



Funky the Clown: But boss, how can that be you, when you're....you....?

Leroy laughs deeply, still looking into the mirror, mostly at himself, but sometimes glancing at the reflection of his henchmen.

Leroy: There is only one Big Bad Leroy. And yet...what if Big Bad Leroy were to announce that he had decided to wear a full suit of body armor into his matches....? What if....Big Bad Leroy....entered the ring, covered in this armor....from head to toe? How would you know...that it really was....in fact, Big Bad Leroy beneath this armor.....?

Funky the Clown: Is this a philosophical question, boss....? I'm not too good with those...

Leroy: Neither is Owen Crooks, apparently, since his personal philosophy apparently involves mindlessly engaging in physical contest after physical contest to make a living...and thinking that somehow, this makes him a man! What it really makes him...is a fool and a coward! I have no time for either cowards or fools...least of all time to put myself in some sort of ridiculous cage with one! BUT THIS MAN....

Leroy points in the mirror towards the reflection of the armored figure behind him.

Leroy: This man....The Chosen One....will have the honor of fighting in my name...of feeling what it is like...for those adoring masses of driveling idiot simpletons...to look at him with the same worshipful eyes that they look at me with....! This man...will enter the octagon on Wednesday...under the name of Big Bad Leroy...he will fight the fool Owen Crooks....and he will crush him!


Because, you see...not only is this armor a gamma-powered, one man-army with strength rivaling MY OWN...and not only is the mystery man wearing the armor trained in over 1,000 lethal martial arts...but he will also be facing a glorified punching bag who will not lift ONE SINGLE FINGER IN HIS DEFENSE!

That foolish Owen Crooks will have no choice but to capitulate....when he discovers that his precious, pathetic little Slaughter House gym, back in Wolverhampton, England....and his ailing father figure....Lucas....will be utterly destroyed unless he throws the match to me.

Jade's eyes widen.

Jade: Leroy, that is a little tasteless!

Leroy: Don't worry....you ain't gonna have to lift a finger....that's where....THE NINJAS COME IN.