DUMMM DA DA DUMMMM!

DUMMM DA DA DUMMMMM!

Who's Lightningbolt Z? I'ma' Motherfuckin' Superhero from the planet ZorThor...

I know there's a lot of people on this evil infested planet trying to be Lightningbolt Z...

DUR TYME IS IZ UP MUH TYME IZZ NOW!

YOUR CRAMPS MEAN QUEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!!

A flash of electricity opens up a hole in their nearby. After the intense light dies down, we see the fully nude form of JOHN CENA 2099, freshly returned from his future timeline!




YO! What is the bull-honkey? Y'all think y'all can just throw some silly sci-fi crap at a wall and make it stick, JACK? Naw... naw.... see, your off-brand face is a reasonable facsimile of the JOHN CENA BRAND, and as was put into law at the 2045 Council of Nicaea 2.0, any likenesses of Emperor John Cena, first of his name, shuffler of the five knuckles, he who does not give up, the adjuster of attitudes and the CHAMP who is, was and forever shall be HERE - are property of he.

What you're doing right here and right now, JACK, is something called STOLEN VALOR. And me and my legion of fans amongst THA TROOPS ain't gonna just sit here and take it.

TIME TO PAY YOUR DUES!!!!

Cena 2099 snaps his fingers and a pair of cargo jorts materializes around his ample manhood, along with many, many sets of terry cloth wrist and arm bands.

Cena 2099 runs at Lightningbolt Z and snatches the baby goat from his hand! They both disappear back into the future in a flash of light!


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do do do doooooooooooooooooooooo