(The scene opens into the arena in Toronto with 120 thousand screaming fans. Ray being the showman that he is jumps from the top of the rafters and hand glides down to the ring whilst shouting IIIIIITS RATINGS TIIIIIIIME!)

~Ray Tings~ Who in this extreme federation wants to take a trip to the top of the ratings chart with Ray Tings because we all know Ray Tings = Ratings! Who is tough enough to be my partner and no im not talking about that show where newbies go to get smoked by Bob Holly! I need a real partner! Whos it going to be? Is it you Doctor DeVille? Is it you Bruce? Not all at once now! Form a single file line and have your cover letters ready for my review!

Why are you at the arena in Toronto a week before the show, and why are people waiting with you? That's just weird. I'm sending in this video in so it'll play on the tron. I'm at my home in Albany, about to fuck a donkey. That's how I prepare for matches, but having lots of sex.

~RAY TINGS~ The Rat Tings fans never sleep honey. We are constantly charged up and ready to go babay, YEEAAAH! MAKE SOME NOISE!

So, you're a loser who spends all week in an arena hoping people will be friendly and show up? Sounds like you're not worth the money you're getting paid.

~RAY TINGS~ You must be blind and deaf sweetie because there is 120 thousand fans and counting in this arena all cheering for the master of the RAYTINGSAULT! This arena is packed and the show hasnt even started yet! I am the biggest draw to ever grace this federation because I am the greatest in the world at my profession. Have a seat baby and enjoy the show! Woo! Yeaaaah! MAKE SOME NOISE BABAY!

Says the man who's going to lose his match. And who's in the opening match, while, I'm near the top. And I'm not even really a wrestler. I'm a multi-platinum award winning musician. Perhaps you've heard of me?

~RAY TINGS~ The XWF needs a strong ratings pull from the get go darling. The rest of the card will be riding my momentum because RAY TINGS = RATINGS! Enjoy the ride honey!

Sounds like Ray Tings is going to be looking for a while. Who's my partner? The Hardkore Master...Q-Ball.

~RAY TINGS~ Hey ass clown you're putting these paying fans to sleep because no one gives a damn about you or your partner Q-Tip! It's getting late though so maybe you can continue talking. I want these people to get a good nights rest so that theyre recharged and ready to go on Thursday morning!

....Tha' Ray-Tings done took ah' dip Muddy's ah' guessin'...