Roll up, roll up! Welcome to the Carnivale!

In the tank to your left we have the remains of a real life flying knight. His sword of pride ripped from his tight hand and used as the very weapon that impaled him causing death.

On the right you'll find the head of the now extinct Dylan George. This skull is the only thing that remained after Karl Cross ripped him to pieces with his deadly gilded quips.

Oh, and straight ahead folks and you'll come face to face with epido... epipha... child molester known as Priest! He had a fancier work he used to describe himself but he basically just tells stories of how he touches little kiddies that add no value to the XWF at all!

Sadly ladies and gentleman, this Freak Show has still to capture its most grotesque feature. In one week's time, the display through the velvet curtain will feature the dissected corpse of Muddy Waters.

Muddy Waters.

Some backwater brain-dead yokel who learned wrestling by rough housing out back with his sister. Not the pretty sibling, no. The manly one who used to sneak in to the barn with Muddy late at night to show him the tricks their father taught them. Muddy, I'm not exactly clued up on exactly why your species ends up lesser than the average human being. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the paint thinner your women chug down while pregnant, yes? Either that or the fact that the majority of you are the product of your mother sneaking in to the barn to show your uncle the tricks their father taught them.

Whoa! Calm down there Muddy, I can feel your objections from here. For anybody watching, Muddy would like me to clarify that the uneducated human sub-genre of 'drooling inbred' is caused by both of these things.

Aaaaaah! Nearly! I could just see you in my head jumping for that phone to wrangle together your camera crew. It amuses me that you actually thought I was that predictable.

What really tickles me is that you completely underestimate just how smart Karl Cross is, like many other have before you. You come stomping in to the Wild West with your pig fingering fingers wrapped around your verbal gun but I see right through it. Those guns you're ready to offload are just water pistols filled with lies. Fake, like the rest of the little act you're putting on.

You thought you were disarming Karl Cross by calling him on all the things he was going to tear you down about before he actually did it. Like a Eminem in 8 Mile, a movie just as shit as Shutter Island, your defence was to pre-guess my offence. Your goal was to render me pointless however please try to remember that I operate on a different intellectual level from you mere plebs. I can see right through the pretence and the falsehoods and cast my eye on the real you.

A man pretending to be someone else.

I have to admit Muddy, you've been doing a pretty good job in your first few days here in the XWF. I actually have a great deal of sympathy for you having now had your cover blown so early on. Most of these idiots around here wouldn't have noticed it so quickly and would have went right down the road you predicted.

What's the big dirty secret I hear you ask? Well, you're no country bumpkin at all are you?

True inbred yokels don't know words like "adversity" you fucking idiot. They also don't tend to know who Tony Blair is. To be as socially and mentally backwards are you are trying to paint yourself suggests you'd have to have been living in a cave somewhere as your uncle's plaything all your life. You just haven't though Mr Waters, have you?

What you really are is a man pretending to be something else. Like a clown in a suit or a man in a mask. You might as well pull a cloth sack over your head and start pretending your some sort of supernatural being as that would be just as believable as this little charade you have going on.

You're just a broken soul Mr Waters, a man still trying to find his purpose in life but one who need only stop and embrace what he is. Boring. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to slap on more interesting make up like a cheap tart just to try and impress people. Cast of this false illusion you're portraying to people and show me who you really are. This whole over the top persona reeks of someone who is consistently attempting to hide behind a false identity.

Just for fun though, and because you provided a startling display of bigoted xenophobia, I'll play along and pretend that you really are who you claim to be.

Oh Karl,compose yourself. You're opponent is Stone Cold Steve Austin with none of the appeal.

What you idiot Americans seem to forget is that your mighty states of 'murica wouldn't exist without the great pioneers from across the ocean. The existence of your whole way of life only came to be because my people dared to venture out to tame the world. So while you're wedging your coffee slurping, twinky eating, gun toting, woman beating, eagle loving, war waging, Alamo losing, cholesterol raising ass in to whatever plus size pair of jeans you found on the discount rail of Walmart just remember that. You yanks are the offspring of the modern world, you didn't create it. Every single thing your country has ever done is because we gave you too much free roam and you turned your back on us.

The United States of Ungratefulness.

I can't deny that I'm interested in what you'll have to say this week especially since my opponent last week was too damn afraid to challenge me properly. I have a feeling that you'll be much more different. You have this air of confidence about you, a swagger which suggests you're unlikely to be intimidated. Well I say that's just fantastic! I'm fed up with being matched against introverts and mutes. Don't get me wrong , I doubt you have the intellect to keep me engaged but you'll certainly have my lukewarm interest.

Of course it is! You're over the pond this week.

Well, I was just wondering if perhaps you wanted me to help you film a promo about how you really ended up back in the XWF?

Yeah, I guess but it could give you some material to work with.

Suppose you're right, Karl.

I thought that would be right up your street!

Fair point, Karl. I'll see you when you get back.