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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Lethal Lottery 3
"Loverboy" - Limelight.
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Vincent Lane Offline
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
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03-25-2015, 08:40 PM Heart  "Loverboy" - Limelight. -->





“Top of the hour on 102.5 the BONE! Real Talk radio in Tampa Bay, Florida… I’m Drew Garabo and with me now is one of the stars of X-Treme Wrestling Federation, getting ready for his title defense at the Amalie Arena this weekend when the XWF presents Lethal Lottery 3, give a warm welcome to “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane!”

“Thanks Drew, I used to listen to your show a lot when I was younger.”

“Right, you actually sort of grew up in the Tampa area, correct?”

“Well, I came down here from New York as a teenager, and I stayed in the area until last year actually.”

“Bucs fan?”

“Absolutely not. Giants all day.”

“Hard to argue with anyone not liking the Bucs after last season, I’ll let you win this round. So where are you living now?”

“I live in Malibu, man. I moved in with my girl out there.”

“And when you say ‘your girl,’ you of course mean well known internet babe and fellow XWF celebrity Roxy Cotton.”

“Yeah, dude, she’s a scorcher. Like Katy Perry said, California girls are so hot they melt your popsicle.”

“You didn’t strike me as a Katy Perry fan, I’ve gotta be honest. I had you pegged as a Lita Ford or Joan Jett guy.”

“Those chicks are definitely awesome, but right now I’ve only got eyes for my woman, dude. Honest injun.”

“Good deal, Vinnie. Let’s talk about the show this weekend and then take a few calls, what do you say?”

“Sounds awesome, man. I always wanted to be on the radio.”

“I actually always wanted to be on TV, but I look like this, so radio it is.”

“Damn, Drew. That’s wicked sad, man.”

“Indeed. So. Lethal Lottery 3 – tell me about it.”

“Well, basically man, for the last month or so there’s been an ongoing tag tournament with random partnerings that change after each round. Eventually one team will be left, and those two team members will then square off in the main event to determine the Lottery winner. It’s a huge distinction and it gets you one of the most sought after prizes in pro wrestling, a 24/7 title cash-in briefcase.”

“But you’re no longer in the running, right? It says here you’re defending the Madness HART Championship?”

“Right. I actually very recently achieved the honor of winning the Monday Madness series, another pretty big deal that was going on a few weeks back. I won the big battle royal and I was crowned the new HART Champion, which is not only the Madness title but also the title that embodies the legacy of the legendary Hart family of professional wrestling. Basically, I’m a pretty big deal.”

“Sure seems like it.”

“Yeah. But, last week I was eliminated from the Lottery tournament in a pretty way, so I’ve lost my chance at being the Lottery winner and at receiving the case.”

“What happened? What made it shady?”

“Well, dude, my partner got us disqualified, basically. Which is weird enough, since pretty much nobody ever gets disqualified for anything, ever, you know? But not only that, we were also up against the new XWF ‘chosen one,’ Peter Gilmour in that match. The dude’s being pretty much spoon fed the entire Lottery by the administration, so the whole think kinda reeked of a setup.”

“I’d say so… DQ? Who gets DQ’ed?”

“Nobody. Ever. But whatever, you go with the flow and you just take the opportunities when they’re given to you, right?”

“Speaking of opportunities, you’re not only the reigning HART and Federweight Champion, but you’re also the number one contender to the biggest prize in the game, the Universal Championship. When are you making the move on that?”

“Honestly dude, I haven’t decided. I know I want it to be big. I don’t want to just have some random match one week, even though, obviously, it would be awesome to win the title no matter what the circumstances. But you know, I’m a performer. I’m a rock star, man, I like to have the biggest show on the biggest stage possible… and the young wrestling fan in me wants to win the title for the first time in the main event of a pay per view spectacular.”

“So something like Lethal Lottery!”

“Well yeah, actually, that would have been a great time for it. But, since I was in the tournament until just last week it wasn’t really very realistic to prepare for a title match. Our champion, Doctor D’Ville, is no joke, man. He’s beaten my ass before, so I’d need to focus on just him to get the job done.”

“Definitely. Sounds like you’ve got a pretty good idea of what to do. Now, your opponent this weekend, he’s another guy you’ve faced before?”

“Yeah, Cain. He was actually one of my opponents in like my second XWF match, actually.”

“How’d it go?”

“Dude, come on. Look at me. I won, of course.”

“So this match is basically no sweat then.”

“I wouldn’t say that, dude. This is a cage match. Anything can go wrong inside the cage. Plus, Cain has a lot more to gain this time around. Last time it was just some random three-way tag mess. This is one on one for a title. Cain’s a big, strong guy and inside the cage there’s not as much room to get away, you know?”

“What’s your strategy going in?”

“Be better than Cain. Pretty much when my strategy is against any opponent, you know? Be better than the other guy. See, like I said, Cain is big and strong. He’s tough and can take a beating, but so am I. I’m faster than he is, I’m more technically sound than he is, and I’m smarter than he is. All of those tools in one set, man, that’s me.”

“You guys have been talking a lot of smack back and forth this week, right?”

“Oh, dude, you have no idea. It comes with the territory, man, when you’re up against someone you have to let them know who’s in charge, right? You wanna get in their head a little, make them doubt themselves. If you can get a psychological edge, especially in a match as dangerous as a steel cage match, you take whatever advantage you can, dude.”

“Have you heard the most recent things Cain has had to say?”

“Actually, no dude. I was busy getting my morning BJ from Roxy earlier, and then I had to get ready, do a few meet and greets, photo ops, that sort of thing. Then it was here to the studio.”

“Check this out then, Vinnie. Audio from Cain’s recent promo on you.”

Cain Said:"Well, that's confusing. Isn't this guy supposed to be the "good guy" in our little confrontation? Mind you, that's if you want to call it that, I just call it a "beat down". Oh well, the good guy is calling his own fans stupid. I bet his agent is so proud since he just insulted his own fanbase."

"But he didn't necessarily say that, love."

"Not on so many words, no. But he basically said that their IQs were low for listening to me, a man who he claims is an "alleged" murderer. Seems to me he hasn't seen the tape of me murdering Sacrelidge on XWF TV. Either he is blind or stupid, I can't decide which. Hey wait..."

"Hmm?"

"Isn't this the exact same Vinnie Lane who only yesterday implied that he believed my legend? Alleged would mean my claims were false. Right Attie?"

"Right. Oh, and Cain?"

"Yes, my dark angel?"

"Did you really put...did you really put balls to your own mother?"

"Yes I did, but only that one time when I beat her with a cueball for grounding me. So what else did Vinnie say that concerns me?"

“Wow, dude.”

“Yeah! Pretty heavy stuff there, Vinnie, what do you think?”

“Typical, man. Nothing new, honestly. It’s like he’s just closing his eyes and pretending to be exactly like me, you know? He’s even using my same tone of voice and delivery style. Cain’s no good at being himself, you see. He’s always trying to find the right form to take, the right way to talk, the right way to act. There is no ‘Cain,’ really. There’s just a bunch of things he’s seen other people do that he’s trying to pull off and make seem natural. He’s like a fCENSORED pod person trying to seem human.”

“Whoa, gotta watch the language, Vinnie, careful.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. This kinda crap just gets me worked up, you know? It’s hard not to get fired up when I’m this close to the cage.”

“So what about the things he said?”

“What about them? I’m not gonna suddenly get scared because he wants to try and convince me that he’s totally a for-real serial killer and related to the devil. He’s just stupid. Like Richard Ramirez on steroids, only that kid actually did kill people. All Cain does is talk about it like a goth kid with a Ted Bundy fetish, then go play ‘let’s see if I can get it up’ with his euro-trash girlfriend. What is she, some cockney bootblack out of a Charles Dickens novel? I keep expecting her to say ‘cheerio’ and call me ‘guvnah.’”

“I don’t know man, but she sounds pretty into him. Plus, earlier in the promo he talks about having a twelve inch member.”

“Does he?”

“Yeah man, he even wags it around throughout the whole thing.”

“Well, glad I’m just listening to audio, dude. Trust me though, the only way that Cain has a footlong dong between his legs is if it’s being space docked there by someone else.”

“So… a prosthesis maybe?”

“CAIN is a prosthesis, man, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Look, regardless of what anyone might think about me, about the entertainer named “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane that they see on TV every week, it’s me, dude. I’m not putting on an act. I tell people I’m good looking and in great shape because it’s true. You know, if you ask ten different guys in the XWF who they are, they’ll probably tell you all the same crap. They’re rich, they’ve got mansions, they’re all bad asses with big dicks… it’s boring, man. Me? I’m real. I’m just me. Not a lot of people want to be like me, but they all wish they had my life, I guarantee you that.”

“I know I do. Just seeing pictures of your fiancée and the way the fans blow up for you, that’s definitely living the good life. Let’s take a call real quick, Vinnie. Eddie’s on the line… what’s up Eddie, where you calling from?”

“Well, I live in England, but I am visiting Florida for Disney World and to see the Lethal Lottery.”

“Awesome, dude, you from London?”

“No, Wigan, actually.”

“Never heard of it, man, sounds terrible.”

“It is.”

“Eddie, what’s your question for Loverboy?”

“Well, I’m a huge fan, Vinnie, I’ve got all your DVD’s, all your action figures… I was wondering, do you have any big moves planned for the cage like you did against MacAlister?”

“Aw, dude, you know it. Who knows if I’ll get the chance to pull it off or not, dude, but any time the spotlight is on me I try to put on the best show possible.”

“That move against Griff was so sick, mate. And the Heartbreaker on Fernando last week was killer.”

“Thanks, man! It’s awesome to meet a fan, you know? Hope you love the show!”

“Thanks for calling, Eddie. Next we’ve got… Josh. Josh you’re on the Bone with Drew Garabo and “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane, what’s up and where are you calling from?”

“I live in Tennessee, but I’m in town for the show.”

“Josh can you turn your radio down, I’m getting a lot of feedback, okay?”

“Oh, sorry, that’s my porn.”

“Right… okay… well, what’s your question for the champ?”

“Vinnie… would you ever consider a bisexual experience?”

“What?”

“Like, would you have a threesome maybe?”

“Dude I’ve had dozens of threeways. Sometimes you don’t have time to get to every chick one at a time, you know?”

“No, no… but would you do it with a guy? Like, even if there was a girl in between maybe? Would that make it possible?”

“Uh…”

“I mean, I came all the way from Tennessee…”

“Dude, is this gay kid trying to get me to go Eiffel Towering with him?”

“I think so.”

“Ugh. No way man, I’m not into other dudes. I can hook you up with Cain’s number off the air or something, though, I think he goes both ways. I’m not totally sure, but any dude with Chinese lanterns is a little suspect, in my opinion.”

“Can I get some backstage passes?”

“To try and bang Cain? Yeah dude, for sure. He’ll be needing someone to hold him after the show. I doubt he’ll be able to get anything in his ass after I ram my boot in it though.”

“Awesome.”

“I sure am.”

“Alright, Vinnie we’ve got to take a break… Aaron, I'm so sorry we didn't get a chance to take your call but I am going to go ahead and assume that Vinnie does NOT eat human flesh. thank you so much for coming in to the studio and good luck at Lethal Lottery 3!”

“Thanks dude, rock on!”


~~~TYPICAL RADIO COMMERCIALS~~~


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