Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Cain · **03-25-2015, 04:16 PM**

If.

If, and by no means am I actually saying this will happen, if I killed Vinnie Lane, who would miss him? As for paternity cases? None of those, despite my fully functioning twelve inch penis. If my advocate says I don't already have enough on my plate as a general in the devil's army and eluding the cops, I wonder.

I always wonder. I wonder what normal people feel like when they feel pain. I wonder why men hate me but their women are drawn to me like moths to a flame? I wonder if Vinnie Lane is off telling a paramedic jokes about my penis?

I bet he is. He is a painted up circus clown after all. I find myself laughing at him, not because he is funny but because I find him completely pathetic.

Who really WOULD miss him if he "accidentally" Chris Benoit'ed Roxy and himself? He and his whore would be dead and of course under my iron fist the XWF Hart Title division would actually regain it's former glory. A glory where it was more sought after than even the Universal title.

Okay, I don't know if that's true or not but as I sit here alone in my bathroom, listening to the radio, I just have to imagine it. What's it going to be like when I, the Messiah of Pain, the modern day Horseman of Death claim my rightful place amongst the greats?

Greats like Unknown Soldier, Sebastian Duke, and Eli James share one thing in common with me. I have to smile a bit as I lather my tattooed biceps and watch the soap fade away with the scalding hot water cascading over my "perfect form".

It's a lot of stress when you are born perfect physically, which means I have a strong will. Not only do I repel physical damage, but emotional pain? It doesn't faze me. He thinks his words hurt my feelings, which is an amusing fact to me. After all, I've had very bad things said about me my whole career. Did I once cry? No, despite what Pest may think. Does this guy have a real name?

"Shit!"

Stupid fucking song just came on the radio. I don't even know the name of the thing, but hell, it's that guy from American Idol who looks like Frankie Muniz and sounds like a broke ass Bob Dylan. Phillip Phillips. So lame his parents named him twice. Like Kelly Kelly.

"Damn it!"

Yet another song by an idiot I don't like as I turn the dial with my soaking wet hands. I didn't fear electrocution after all. Figured if bullets couldn't kill me then neither could being fried.

I'm curious.

Having watched that segment filmed by one Vincent Lane earlier, I think about what it must feel like to be on the verge of death. What do you think about? Do you see your whole life pass before your eyes?

Then, what happens afterwards when the death occurs? Does a man in a black suit come and guide you to heaven or hell? In the case of my victims, does he look at me with a big grin and a thumbs up?

I chuckle at the thought.

Suddenly, I hear the door crack open a bit. Then, I hear her sweet voice like a chorus of angels singing on the wind.

"Cain? Cain honey, are you okay?"

Athena must have been worried about me. She knows I have a huge match at Lethal Lottery and must have thought that maybe I was like one of those rock stars that has a heroin overdose and dies in the tub before a huge concert.

I answered as I stood and she opened the door, staring at my rather large manhood.

"I am fine, Attie. Just thinking about a few things here and there. You know, Phillip Phillips and why he was ever a thing? I know he had that one song but I can't even remember the name of it, though I just heard it like two seconds ago."

She looks me up and down, as if I am a tasty meal as I dry off. I love this woman's admiration. I'd decided to let her live because she ignites a flame inside of me. I found myself amused.

"Ey' what's with that shit eatin' smirk?"

"Oh, I've no clue. Maybe it's because you're staring at my cock like you're a starving child and it's the only meal you've had in weeks." I tried to reach around my back. Unfortunately, being as large as I am physically, my back is hard to dry. "Could you get my back, Athena?"

She smiles, taking the black linen towel. Yes, black linen, specially made and imported from a foreign country. Guaranteed to never fade. "Certainly darling." She went about drying my back. She wasn't gentle, of course. She knew my threshold for pain, so a little rough towel drying was nothing. "So, 'ave ya given anymore thought to an actual strategy concerning your Hart Title Match?"

"Not really. I didn't think I needed a strategy. After all, I already know I am going to win. No need to make this a chess game." I shrugged my shoulders. I felt that I had made my point going into this thing anyway. "Besides, he's all but given up by now. Fear does that to a normal man."

Oh boy. Something must be wrong, as my beautiful Brit purses her full lips and scrunches her nose. "ERM....about that, love. I don't think Vinnie has given up. This guy isn't just gonna lay down and let you win, ya know."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. It would just be less boring if he did."

"Well...he had...ERM...he had some derogatory things to say about you in this segment he filmed. Said some derogatory things about the fans as well, he did. Well, in a roundabout way anyway..."

Keep in mind, as she is telling me about this, she is showing me the video on her tablet. Don't worry, it's military grade. Waterproof.

Loverboy Said:This weekend in Tampa, I will personally be raising the average IQ of the human race by at least five points by eliminating the dumb fuck whoâ€™s been busting the grading curve since the first time he put balls to his own mother, the alleged murderer Cain.

"Well, that's confusing. Isn't this guy supposed to be the "good guy" in our little confrontation? Mind you, that's if you want to call it that, I just call it a "beat down". Oh well, the good guy is calling his own fans stupid. I bet his agent is so proud since he just insulted his own fanbase."

"But he didn't necessarily say that, love."

"Not on so many words, no. But he basically said that their IQs were low for listening to me, a man who he claims is an "alleged" murderer. Seems to me he hasn't seen the tape of me murdering Sacrelidge on XWF TV. Either he is blind or stupid, I can't decide which. Hey wait..."

"Hmm?"

"Isn't this the exact same Vinnie Lane who only yesterday implied that he believed my legend? Alleged would mean my claims were false. Right Attie?"

"Right. Oh, and Cain?"

"Yes, my dark angel?"

"Did you really put...did you really put balls to your own mother?"

I chuckled. "Yes I did, but only that one time when I beat her with a cueball for grounding me. So what else did Vinnie say that concerns me?"

Loverboy Said:Keep in mind, this opponent of Cainâ€™s is not only the champion of the hottest brand in the XWF, Monday Night Madness, but is also a guy who has lifted giants over his head, sent legends packing, ended undefeated streaks, and routinely wears multiple championship belts around the kind of waist you typically only see on the cover of GQ.

Iâ€™m talking about the man every girl wants to see and every guy wants to be â€“ me. â€œLoverboyâ€ Vinnie Lane.

"Have to admire his confidence. Gag."

"Pft. The kind of waist you see on Woman's Health magazine. The only reason any woman wants this piece of trash is for child support. All those women he speaks of are fat, ugly, crack head skanks. I mean, come on. This guy is stuck in the eighties, Athena. Me? I'm in the now and I live for the moment."

"I can't BELIEVE he talked about lifting giants above his head!"

I flourished my hands and laughed, big horse dick swinging. "For devil's sake, he's talking about fat women! Have you EVER seen "My 600Lb. Life"? It's on TLC."

"Ugh yes. If I ever get that big, kill me!"

"Hell, I'm liable to kill you right now!"

We shared a laugh for a moment. I would have killed the poor girl, but unfortunately for my addiction, I love her. Needless to say, her laughter was a bit uneasy.

"Don't worry, Attie. I am saving my rage for Vincent."

"Whew. Good for me, I guess."

"Yup. Excellent for us both, you've got some "bomb ass" pussy. You know, that's what the kids are saying, seeing as how this isn't the eighties anymore."

She smirked.

"Hint hint."

Loverboy Said:News flash, Cain. No one calls you that. I call myself a megastar, and so do others. It says it on the hundreds of t-shirts I sell every week, too. The only person who has ever called you â€˜the dude that death forgot to make dieâ€™ or some shit is you. You and maybe whoever tricked you into letting them take out a life insurance policy on you.

"Oh my god, he SAID that? Sounds like he's trying to get under my skin or something. He calls himself a megastar? Really? Everyone else calls him a megastar? When? When was this and why was I not informed?"

"Ummm...because he's the only one who calls himself that?"

"Exactly my point. I think the point he is missing is that he misheard these so-called fans who call him a "megastar". You know what I mean? I mean, he did insult their intelligence after all. I think they are actually saying "mega-tard". I call him that in my head a lot, you know. That and "dick sheathe". Or maybe...maybe..."

Attie's evil grin matched mine this time.

"...prey?"

"Exactly. You can turn that thing off, Attie. I already know exactly what I need to know."

"What's that?"

"He's getting desperate now. He's trying to throw me off of my game before our match even begins. Don't you see it? The man is fearing for his title now, because he knows that Lethal Lottery is drawing ever closer. Everyday I film these segments and I have proven that my words hold truer than his. His facts about me? Well, he may need a fact checker. "

"Oh sure, he's beaten guys who beat me. However, that is irrelevant as I have beaten guys who have beaten her as well."

She tilted her head.

"Ummm...you mean "him", right?"

"Yes, but the jury is still out on that." I placed my hands on her shoulders and reassured her. "I don't need a strategy, dearest. He's doomed. Look at how he is trying to make himself look bigger, like a human facing a lion. Next thing you know, he'll play dead. Of course, Athena, after I get through with him..."

In unison, we spoke.

"...he won't have to."

-Static, kissing noises and moaning. Fin.-

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Cain - Iron Man
Author	Message