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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Lethal Lottery 3
THOSE <img src="https://i.imgur.com/pUgtAVa.gif"> DUKE AND CORVUS HAVE A MATCH BUT NO ONE CARES BECAUSE DIM PETER DIM
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Mia Dim Offline
TPOI



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Kids, women, some teens

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by adult males)


#1
03-24-2015, 07:12 PM

John Madison is sitting in some dirty motel room in Florida after being shipped away by Corvus during last week's Warfare. Luckily he keeps a camera shoved in his asshole for safe keeping so that he can still cut promos.

I told you! My team of guys won and all thirty of you shitheads lost. D'Ville lost. Lane lost. Corvus lost. Sane lost. And the list goes on!

Now I know people think that there's some controversy surrounding the finish but that's only because they're letting Corvus deceive them with his lies again. I'm talking about the point in the match where Corvus gave up and took a disqualification instead of finishing the match. Corvus threw in the towel when he hit Dim with everything that he had and couldn't beat him. He took the coward's way out instead of meeting his inevitable demise at the shit covered hands of my client Dim. He struck a referee because A) he needed to attack somebody who couldn't fight back, and B) because he wanted to try to look like a bad ass at the end of it. What a fucking pussy though. He ended up looking like pure dog shit. He can't handle an athletic contest with someone who only has half of a brain so he attacks a guy who's, like, half his size instead. That doesn't surprise me though. After all, Corvus did murder a pregnant woman after he failed to take down Hysteria, so harming a 150 pound referee fits his MO.

What else happened this week? I believe there were some other events taking place outside of Dim's tournament.

Weren't the Defiance idiots supposed obtain some new hardware?

Surely that Austin Fernando boy emerged victorious in the battle royal where he had all of his friends helping him. You know, the same battle royal which made him drop everything he was doing in Lethal Lottery so that he could concentrate on the Hart Title. Of course not. But you know what? I think I'll just run a few clips that will break down the battle royal quite nicely.


Quote:Lane runs toward Sane and delivers a super kick to his jaw sending Sane to the floor!

ELIMINATED!

Quote:A super kick from Lane to the jaw of Corvus sends Corvus over the top and to the floor!

ELIMINATED! ...and...

Quote:Dimallisher runs from the back and takes out Corvus with a Goldberg style spear. Dim then shoves his hand into Corvus' (((CENSORED: A red box appears on screen to cover up wherever Dimallisher just shoved his hand; perhaps if Dim wants us to know where his hand went, he will repeat this attack on Warfare which will not censor such heinous acts! Waggle Bagga))) ... Dim carries him to the steps, and begins to use him like a battering ram on the steel steps

ASS RAPED!

Quote:Lane hits the modified styles clash and all four feet hit the mat on the floor below. Only Loverboy's feet hit last.

ELIMINATED!

Wow. First off, the way Lane wrapped up that match sounds like some idiotic finishing sequence that Duke would try to play out in his head. But I guess Lane was so bored with Defiance that he was willing to come up with the most absurd way possible to win a battle royal. I mean, he did this:



And managed to manipulate Fernando mid air so that his feet touched the floor first. Jesus, I had no idea that Defiance was that terrible. All that hype and this is what they give us. Everyone get a good look because the two idiots that got eliminated by Lane throwing his leg in the air are the current Tag Team Champions. On top of that, one of them is the Intercontinental Champion as well!

Why, Corvus?

How come Lane, who's lost to mentally handicapped people twice now, was able to wipe out your group with a couple of lame karate kicks and a finishing move that made no sense being used in a battle royal? Can you idiots for once take a superkick to the face without doing three back flips over the top rope? If you're in a battle royal and something hits you in the face it would probably be easier to just fall through the ropes instead of over. You know, that way you're not having to swing three quarters of your body through the air.

Did Gator win at least? I don't even care to find out right now. Whoever watches this promo, please respond and tell me whether Gator won or not. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he didn't though.

Yeah, it feels pretty good right now to see Defiance on their asses while Dim and Gilmour move onto the semi finals. They had their strength in the numbers and look at how far it got them. Corvus is stuck somewhere in the middle of the show defending against Duke (eww) and the rest of his group is nowhere to be found. I think that they've all given up at this point. The funny thing is, I was half joking two weeks ago when I said that my temporary partnership with them might make them stronger than The Black Circle. Now I'm more certain than ever that my partnership was the only thing that made them strong to begin with.

Even the Universal Champion is playing second fiddle to Dim and Peter Gilmour. I can't even remember who his opponents are for the Pay Per View. Does anyone care?

No because the only thing that everyone cares about is the outcome of Dim's matches. We might as well just skip everything else! Let's just scratch a bunch of X's over anything that doesn't say Dim on it. Why are you people cutting promos? No one cares! This show belongs to Dim and that's all!

In fact, I'm done talking for now. I want Dim's weird shit to be the highlight of tonight.

But first I must address Ricky Desmond's latest piece of hard hitting trash talk. Let's examine and dissect what Desmond said earlier this week.


Quote:You people are all expecting Peter and I to be decimated and I simply do not blame you.

I stand here in the final without a single pin fall or submission recorded throughout the tournament.

I will be gracious in defeat.

That is the Desmond way.

On second thought this isn't worth my time. Go fuck yourself, Desmond.

John kills his feed and send it over to Dim who's just finished lifting a bunch of weights in his trailer home.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my beautiful home! I'm here to talk about my upcoming scheduled match! Since John took care of Desmond, I want to spend some time talkin' about a subject that's very dear to me; Peter Gilmour. You see, me and my best friend have to go to battle this week and everyone is talkin' about how this might be the death of our friendship. Just like that, Team Special is over?! Not a chance. Me and Peter will remain as friends despite the outcome of this week's tournament! So what do I have to say about my opponent then? Well, Peter gave me some signals this week that he wants me to unleash the wrath of God onto him with my amazing promo cuttin' abilities! Now I ain't normally somebody who comes out here and talks bad about the King of X-Treme but by the King's request, I will oblige him. You see, it's very simple but for you folks who don't have any real friends, I'll explain it to you. Peter don't want me to simply come out here and talk him up since I'm his opponent this week. Peter don't want none of that cause he wants this to be an athletic contest between two friends. Peter is so determined to make this a competitive match that he's asked me to talk trash to him as if I were some jackass like Corvus or Vinnie Lane. Now I ain't as good as them two at sounding like a cock suckin' jackass but I'll do my very best to emulate what they do in their promos when they try to cut down Pete. After all, I just wanna bring out the very best in my friend Peter!

I don't know what kind of agreement he and Soldier have going, but if I can fire up Peter then maybe he can kick my partner's ass and send him back to hell to torture some more like Corvus' son! I support Peter and his mission in doing that but at the same time I gotta make sure that , Ricky Desmond, doesn't try to slip through the cracks like he has throughout this whole damn tournament. The last thing I wanna do is sit back and watch Ricky pull off some fluke victory over my tag team partner when he goes to shake Peter's hand. You never know, man. Ricky listens to that heavy metal Linkin' Park music. When he listens to that shit, there might be electricity crawling through his skin and transforming him into a gay ass robot that panders to teenagers!

I'm just lookin' out for what's best between myself, Soldier, and Peter. I'm fine with Peter kickin' my ass and pinnin' me IF that's what it comes down to. But I can't just go out there and lay down for Peter or punch the referee and tuck my tale between my legs like Corvus. Peter would flip out if I did that and our friendship would be doomed for sure. Peter wants an athletic contest so he can silence them naysayers and I'm determined to give him just that because he is my friend! I do this for you, Peter!!!

Part of being competitive is dishin' out some trash talk throughout the week. Now like I said earlier, I ain't lookin' forward to knockin' down Peter with words like Lane or one of them out of Defiance. I prefer the sound of bones crushing beneath my big ass foot instead. But Peter is requesting that I do it so that he can get into his zone this week. So I'm gonna look at what Peter says and then do my best impersonation of one of those assholes by pickin' it apart. Again, only for the sake of competition! This is all for Peter!

First off, Peter. I gotta say, you really shot yourself in the foot with one comment in particular. I can't believe you didn't catch it but I guess that's because you don't do any of that post-production editing like what Corvus is always bragging about doing. You give us the real deal, unedited! Still, I must point certain things out to you so that you don't make these mistakes in the future!


Quote: I beat some good teams in this tournament, well Pest and Coco weren't a good team, but you get where I'm coming from.

That's the thing, Peter; we don't see where you're coming from with a statement like that! You said that you beat some good teams in the tournament except for Pest and Coco. The problem with this statement is that other than Corvus and Lane, they were the ONLY team that you've beaten in this tournament! I know this is an easy mistake to make, especially when the pressure is on, but that's no excuse to discredit all of your hard work in this tournament. Your millions of fans are watching, Peter! They don't want to see their favorite superstar eviscerate himself on camera. Instead, do yourself a favor and tell all these people that you fought a long, uphill battle and overcame setbacks when no one thought that you could! Well except for me, I knew you could do it the entire time because I prayed to Jesus for you!

Quote: CorVus, you may have overpowered me

Again, Peter, your millions of fans are out there listening to you talk about how that , Corvus, supposedly "overpowered" you. You are immortal so how could that pussy and his bird even come within a hair of overpowering the King of X-Treme? Or is what you're saying about the homosexual overpowering you, the God honest truth? Did you feel like Corvus overpowered you despite the fact that he didn't win? That would be awful if you truly felt that way. I sure as hell don't feel that way. I kicked his ass and sent him crying to the referee, begging him to end it before I could get my hands on him. I dominated that little ; end of story! There ain't no one in that match that could ever overpower me! Or like Peter would and should have said: Corvus did not overpower me... because sadly I overpowered HIM! So what's the deal, Peter? Did you misspeak again? Please tell me that you didn't just squeak by in this tournament like that partner of yours. You saying that Corvus overpowered you kind of alludes to it. Please confirm with your millions and millions of fans. We must know the real answer!

Dim puts down the camera and goes back to lifting weights.

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