"The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.” - Audrey Hepburn.
"What a lovely, lovely day. The birds are singing, I can hear an ice cream van in the distance, my flatmate got evicted and there's a double rainbow. What a wonderful, splendid, magnificent, spiffing day. Five pips out of ten, but I am stingy at giving out pips. I have a few awesome wrestlers I need to address today, who are partaking in the tournament alongside me. I wish you all the best of luck. You all thoroughly deserve to win the IC title, but it only comes down to skill."
Fucking assholes.
"Justin Sane. Both the XWF universe and I love watching your romance with Gator blossom and take shape. We need more of gay and proud superstars like you in our company. I mean, you've got the square chin that attracts all the poontang. You've also got the money that you've flaunted in promos with that girlfriend actor you bought. I am one of your dearest, dearest fans. Trust me on that one. I found it especially cute when you shared your anger with Gator over his inability to keep the Universal title. You rock, man. Here, I picked a daisy for you in your close but hard fought loss against Cain, here. Mmmm... It smells delightful."
I hope your fake ass girlfriend goes to the cinema to see Fifty Shades of Grey all alone and fucks the popcorn guy, you stupid cunt.
"I think you've failed to mention me in promos. That would be upsetting, but I know how prolific you are and how much I love reading your promos and not just skipping to your Insane TV to find any substance, because that would be mean, you know? I'm not a mean person in the slightest. I'm a wonderful chap, just like you. Unfortunately, you just got unlucky with Cain, who was more skilled than you. I'm sure you can improve to Cain's level. He's really a truly inspirational person. Just admire is win/loss record. You contributed to that, Sane. Believe in yourself."
"Sebastian Duke. You seem to have hit the nail on the head with your interpretation of my words. You are really something to admire. I mean, you have been in a lot of main events like you said. However, I'm a bit confused by this cheap trick you were speaking of? I was referring to you going through a midlife crisis and were soon to be riding choppers. I think you got a little confused, but that's okay. Everyone gets confused."
Oh and yes you can has cheese. The cheese from your old, shrivelled, has been penis that has and will never be touched by an opposite gender's lips.
"Why would you be disappointed in me because I notified you that you said someone's name wrong? I was doing you a favour. Like I said, everyone gets confused. Similar to how Doc is confused with how I was upset at our match. I wasn't upset that I lost even though you pinned someone else, or that I didn't lose because I wasn't the one pinned, I was just questioning why after hitting me with a stun baton several times and having me what you would call "down and out" you decided to pin Herod instead. Were you giving me an excuse for losing? That sounds like something you'd say, after all, you are known to walk around speak about how you've planned everything out, right? You are a very smart man. You are a Doctor, no? Everyone can claim they are a doctor. Would it be okay if I were to ask for proof? Also, you certainly have gotten the message across that I have been spouting your accolades, so thank you. I think this is the third promo? Thank you, I was nearly forgetting how much you like to talk about yourself. It's extremely interesting. You should do it some more, just for good measure."
It's getting really fucking annoying. Fuck off you dishfaced wankstain. I hope you shit yourself to death.
"Austin Fernando seems to think that I am not entertaining. That is extremely hurtful. This came after a promo I did where I said in a whole paragraph why you are not the most exciting of characters. However, you are quite exciting. I mean, your promos may look the same at first glance and... well... they are all kind of the same... but you can improve! You have the capability of being a star! You have the charis- I mean... You have the look... uh... okay then uh... you have the great theme! Oh uh... Nickelback and then Shaman's Harvest... well, you seem to be a great all rounder nevertheless."
Your theme song should be the fucking CrazyBus theme. I found listening to it was more bearable than your promos.
"You and Frodo seem to be going at it quite hard. Though you aren't the best of ticket promoters, the hobbit might be able to pull it back for you and go one on one in a thoroughly entertaining bout. Frodo hasn't said that much in his recent promos, so I applaud him for that. He seems to have taken my advice. My advice is good advice, believe that."
.
"Shit? Where the fuck am I?"
I land on a cloud made of marshmallows. Sweet smells flew up my nose as I stared over at a forest of lollipop trees. Birds carrying Cadbury's mini eggs fly off to their coco pop flavoured nests, as they feed their chicks strawberry laces. This was a wonderland.
"This place is fucking awesome!"
I am interrupted by a massive Freddo bar, which lands a meter away from me. The force of his landing slamming into the marshmallow and sending me flying. I land on the top of a lollipop, before sliding off into a lake of hot chocolate.
"Not cool dude. What's your problem?"
"You made a video game reference in a roleplay! Now you must PAY WITH A BOSS BATTLE!"
"I don't know what a roleplay is but I'll totally do a boss battle man!"
FIGHT!
Goat Face Killa - vs - Freddo Bar!
Freddo flies at Goat Killa and hits a "Price Increase Fire Ball"!
It's super effective!
Goat Face Killa's defense is lowered.
Goat Face Killa's Health:
30%
Freddo Bar's Health:
100%
Goat Face Killa rushes at Freddo Bar and hits a powerful GOATCOCK!
It's super duper duper duper DUPER effective! It practically smashed the chocolate!
Freddo Bar's chance of having kids is lowered.
Goat Face Killa's Health:
30%
Freddo Bar's Health:
0%
Freddo Bar fainted!
Goat Face Killa gains no XP because he's way above that shit.
"Whew. That was easy. I'm sure that's a good depiction of the Final where I win the IC title right there!"
that much in his recent promos, so I applaud him for that. He seems to have taken my advice. My advice is good advice, believe that."![[Image: jgJ9m0F.png]](http://i.imgur.com/jgJ9m0F.png)
![[Image: KBpvLsI.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/KBpvLsI.gif)
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