The scene is the outside of a modest two story home in the burbs. Not the actual burbs with the Peterson''s and the Klopek's but the burbs nonetheless.

Tommy Gunn comes roaring down the long driveway in his Ford Raptor as "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf plays. Tommy slams on the brakes stopping about 9 inches from the back of his sisters car. 9 inches that's more than enough right ladies? Wow that sounded oddly similar to something you'd hear in a Peter Gilmour promo doesn't it?

Gunn climbs out of his vehicle and walks up to the front door. He doesn't knock or ring the bell. Instead he just turns the knob and steps in.

"Uncle Tommy!!! Uncle Tommy!!!"

Little Christian Gunn runs up to his most favorite and only Uncle in the world and gives him a big hug. Well more accurately he gives his Uncle's kneecaps a big hug as Tommy pats Christian on the back.

"How you doing kid?"

"Awesome Uncle Tommy. Mom just bought me a new game for my Xbox One."

"Oh really? What did she get you?"

"WWE 2k15."

"Really? Unbelievable."

"What's wrong Uncle Tommy?"

"Nothing kid. Nothing. You're mom around?"

"Yeah she's in the kitchen making dinner for me and my friend Isabel."

"Isabel eh? Do you like this Isabel?"

"Of course. She's my friend."

"No buddy. That's not what I mean. Do you like her like her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tommy!"

Tommy looks up and standing there at the end of the hallway is his sister Laura, her hand on her hip and wearing one of those bitchey faces that women make when they aren't happy with you and they want you to know it without saying it.

Tommy then looks back down at his nephew who still seems confused with the previous line of questioning.

"Go ahead kid. Go back to your friend, we'll talk later."

Christian disappears up the steps and into one of the rooms on the second floor. As he does Tommy walks down the hall and greets his sister with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The two then walk into the kitchen so that Laura can get back to preparing dinner.

"What are you doing here?"

"What? No Hi Tommy? Nice to see you Tommy. Anything?"

"Nice to see you Tommy. But you could have called."

"You know I don't own a phone. Big Brother won't be tracking me."

"Right because they don't have anything better to do."

"Well they obviously don't."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because Big Brother showed up at my house yesterday."

"Who did?"

"Some Colonel Asshole from the U.S Army. You got anything to drink? Beer? And uh...beer?"

"You know I don't keep any alcohol in the house."

"Yeah but you don't keep any around for when you entertain guests or anything like that?"

"No I don't. Let's get back to the Colonel who showed up at your house. What did he want?"

"He wanted me to go back on active duty."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. He didn't really say. At minimum one specific mission. He even offered to promote me. Offered me a pension. They are desperate sis."

"What did you tell him?"

"I didn't really give an answer one way or the other but I did kind of sort of lead him to believe that I would be accepting his offer. He even offered to pay for Christian to go to college for free."

"He did?"

"Yes he did. Like I said, they are desperate."

"What are you going to do?"

"I burned the letter. I got out of the service for a reason and nothing they can say or do will change that. Bribing me with free college for Christian was pathetic even for them. They have to know that mom and dad have already put enough money away for that so it's not even an issue."

"But they know where you live. You don't think they'll show back up?"

"Of course they will. That's why I'm here."

"You thought that to avoid them you would hide out in the first place they would come looking?"

"No. Who said anything about hiding? came here to tell you that I'm going to move."

"What? You can't. Christian will be crushed.

"I wouldn't be going far. Probably across town. All I know is I can't stay there."

"Don't you think you are overreacting?"

"Let me pose it to you this way. Suppose you dated someone and it ended badly and you moved to get away from them and then they showed up at your place out of the blue. How would you react? Except in my scenario which is real life, that crazy ex is the US Army."

"I see your point. Can you stay for dinner so we can talk about this some more?"

"There isn't really anything to talk about but if you are offering me a free meal then yes I'll stay."

The scene fades to black as Tommy takes a sit at the bar across from his sister as she continues to make dinner.

---

Jesus Christ. Jesus H. Christ. Do you even hear yourself when you speak Mastermind? Or are you too busy trying to speak in between all those tears?

Seriously. You are a 40 year old man and you are crying because your father who you didn't bother speaking to for 2 and a half decades decided to move on and start a family with another broad?

You must be the most sensitive bitch in this place. Seriously, can you go ask Essence for one of her tampons you fucking mary?

You wanna talk about getting into peoples minds, how the fuck are you going to beat me when seeing your 10 year old nephew sends you into a crying fit the likes of which would make a bitch watching the Notebook look emotionally stable?

Now let's talk about needles in haystacks. Or as I like to call it, finding the truth among the bullshit that you you Mastermind try to pass off as undeniable facts. First of all that apron said "Mastermind is a douchetool." Not "douchebag." Go ahead, go back and watch the tape, you'll see it, clear as the nights sky. Now that certainly wasn't your most egregious mistake but it was one nonetheless, so naturally I felt the need to point it out. Maybe next time you'll use a tissue to wipe those tears from your eyes so you can see clearly what is happening in front of you. But what I do know, I don't even have tears and if I did I'm fairly certain they would cure every disease out there. Including faggotitius.

You know what I find amazing Mastermind? You sit there and claim that you take your World History and World Events very seriously yet you can't even remember recent events. You said that I had lost a few matches when in fact I've only lost one. To compound your own stupidity you just recently thanked me for telling you my record even though you already knew it. Do you see the issue here? Do you see the conflict in your own words? I'm going to assume you don't since you've proven time and time again that you are an idiot. You see one can't claim to know someone's record and then cite it incorrectly. Either you know my record or you don't. In this case you don't. And that's fine. My actual record isn't the issue, that you think you know it when you don't is. We good? Thought so.

Now since you take your World History so serious allow me to further educate you on some US history. It wasn't that Sarah Palin is a woman that cost John McCain the election. It's that Sarah Palin made Peter Gilmour look like Stephen Hawking that cost John McCain the election. How can you sit there and in good conscience say that Sarah Palin isn't a with a rack? Honestly, find me one time in history where she made a speech or spoke out publicly somewhere and you didn't end up questioning how someone so dumb could survive so long? You've got a better chance of finding that than you do of beating me.

As for our current President. When this country goes another 200 years before electing another black man to the Presidency you can look back at Barack Obama as the reason why. Maybe you don't understand this because you are from New Zealand but American's have no desire to turn into Soviet Russia and yet our President seems to think we do. But all of that is irrelevant. I'm not here to school you on Social Studies as much as you probably wish I would. At least then I wouldn't be ripping into you non stop for all the bullshit you let escape your mouth.

Now Mastermind allow me to clear up a little misconception that you seem to have. You claim to be able to beat Peter Gilmour without my help and yet when you faced him the last time you lost. This time I got involved and you won. See how that works? Is it obvious enough for you?

And no, I don't take credit for his losses but in this case I am taking credit for your win. Because without me, you wouldn't have it. You know that. I know that. Peter Gilmour knows that. And everyone who was watching that match knows that.

Hold on a second, I just got this telegraph from Paul Heyman. Let me read it aloud for everyone's benefit. It says, and I quote:

Tommy, Mastermind recently had some things to say about me and I wanted to be the first to flatly deny them. I'm sure you heard where Mastermind said that I don't know what to do with you and that I use you but that is just not true. You were brought into the Alliance because of your unique skill set and with that skill set you provide an invaluable service to my clients. He even asked if you had noticed that we were bringing in new recruits to the Alliance. As if you weren't there when we introduced Austin Fernando. He seems to think he has some knowledge of the Alliance's inner workings but we both know that's not true. Mastermind has clearly gone off the deep end which doesn't bode well for him on Monday. I'll see you in Toronto. Paul

Well damn, I was going to address all that nonsense but I guess Paul beat me to it. Great timing Paul as always but damn Paul, you took all the wind out of my sails. I guess I'll just have to wait for Mastermind to say something else dumb so I can rip that apart like a kid opening a present on Christmas.