The scene fades in to the interior of a single family home. It could be Tommy Gunn's home or it could be the home of some random stranger that Tommy knocked out and then locked in a closet. I guess we'll never know.

Tommy comes buzzing around the corner wearing a black apron that says...

Apron Said:Mastermind Is A Douchetool

"Hey Mastermind you like my apron? I got it off some homeless guy downtown. Imagine that, a homeless guy randomly had an apron with your name on it. What are the chances?"

Tommy walks over towards the stove, picks up a sterling silver pan, extends his arm and then quickly flips the back of the pan so that the contents of the pan flip over into the front of the pan. Tommy then places the pan back on the stove and then reaches forward, grabs a small knob on the front of the stove and turns the temperature down from 8 to 4.

"I gotta hand it to you Mastermind. Somehow, despite the odds you managed to follow up that truly dreadful first promo with one even worse. I honestly had to watch it three times just to try and figure out what it was you were saying. It honestly felt like you were reading something that Sarah Palin's speech writers prepared for her and then just threw up on a teleprompter that's how bad it was.

Oh wait, my apologies, you probably don't know who she is on account of you being a foreigner so let me clue you in. Sarah Palin is for all intents and purposes a . How she ended up with a career in politics and not porn is beyond me but hey, America, where even the tards get a chance to make something of themselves.

But we aren't here to talk about Sarah Palin, no today we are here to talk about Mastermind. The so called Master of Minds. You know I gotta say you got a really good thing going with that whole "Master of Minds" tagline. You got your own clothing line going and everything. You're a regular Martha Stewart. But I gotta ask you Masty, do you mind if I call you Masty? Fuck you of course I can. So Masty did it ever occur to you that maybe you should come up with a tagline that I don't know, somehow involves using your fists? You know, since this is a physical sport and all. Now I know, hell I've even admitted that a component of wrestling involves the use of the mind but people don't win on that alone. Hell if that were the case you wouldn't have needed my help to beat a fucking idiot like Peter Gilmour. But you did need my help. You remember when I leaped over you like you were a tall building and decked Peter thus allowing you to win? Of course you do, you were there in living color and just in case you forgot you were kind enough to put a clip of it in your first promo for the whole world to watch.

Oh and by the way I never got a thank you. What gives? I thought you were some nice respectable guy? Doesn't sound that way to me. You sound like every other ungrateful asshole that walks the halls of the XWF.

You're right Masty, I did rip you to shreds in my first promo, and I'm going to do it in this promo and every single promo from here on out until you wisen up and stop giving me stuff to rip you to shreds over. And no, I don't want you to just tuck your tail and walk away. I want to kick your teeth in, hell I live for it. I eat, sleep and breath beating up bitches like you. It's who I am. It's what I do and I'm damn good at it.

I'm curious though how does me ripping you apart verbally help you to improve? Does me making fun of the things you say or pointing out how truly God awful you are in the ring somehow give you the knowledge, strength and skill to suddenly not become the worst wrestler in the federation not named Peter Gilmour? Because if it does I would love for you to share your trick with all of us. Hell you could probably write a book and sell the shit out of it. I can see it now "How Getting Verball Assrammed taught me how to become a better wrestler. The Mastermind stories." Yeah, a New York Times Best Seller for sure."

Tommy walks over to the fridge, opens it up and pulls out a bottle of water and a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce. He then shuts the fridge door and places both items on the table.

I want to thank you Masty, thank you so much for finishing up what seemed like a never ending list of people that have beaten you. I really appreciate you making my job easier on me. But I do want to correct you on something. I didn't stop listing all those names because I was lazy. I stopped listen them because I actually started to feel bad for you. Alright, alright, that was a lie. I thought I could keep a straight face for longer than half a second but who am I kidding? I don't feel bad for you, or anyone that matter. The real reason I stopped listing all those names was to see if you would be dumb enough to finish it for me and low and behold for the first time and possibly the last time in your life, you didn't disappoint. So regardless of how this match turns out on Monday, spoiler alert, you're going to lose, you can at least hold your head up high knowing that you came through for me in a big way. Not only did you keep listing names for me but then you went on to talk about all the other matches and events you lost in. Almost like you are proud of the fact that you are dogshit terrible. Are you proud of that fact Mastermind? Because if you are proud being bad you should come over here to America, we seem to be breeding a whole new generation of people that are proud to be useless.

Now as for my own record, yes I know what it is. It's 7-1. Do you know what that 1 means? It means I haven't lost a few matches I've lost one match. One. Not two or three or four and certainly not 31 times like you have. So yeah it's probably a good thing that you don't go over my record because while it's obvious that I don't wrestle at the frequency you do, I do at least walk away the winner when I can be bothered to step into the ring."

Tommy walks back over to his pan on the stove, picks it up and then slides the contents of the pan onto a white plate that is resting comfortably on the counter. Tommy then places the pan back on the stove, this time on one of the other burners and then he reaches down and with a quick flick of the wrist turns the dial to the off setting. Tommy then takes the plate over to the table and sets it down in front of his water and A1 and to the side of his knife and fork.

Tommy then reaches behind him and unties the back of the apron before lifting it over his head and tossing it over one of the other chairs at the table.

"Now Masty I see that you took the time to list out some of your victories for me, I appreciate that. I scanned over that list and do you know what I saw? It wasn't just 22 names which I am sure was the point of your little exercise. I'm sure in your mind you see all those names and you hope that people just look at the names with awe but you see I like to look at things. Really look at things and you know what I saw among that list of 22 names? Well for starters you listed Shelby Cobra's name twice. So really it's 21 names. But when I looked a little deeper what I found was truly amazing. Of those 21 names, 15 are no longer around. Roughly 70% of the people you beat were so atrocious that they are no longer here anymore. And the 6 folks that are:

Peter Gilmour
Woe
Duncan B. Deadly
Maverick
Ruben Mitchell
Ghost Tank

Yep...if that isn't a veritable murders row I don't know what is.

Oh and that was sarcasm in case the subtlety of it flew right over your head. Like I did, last week.

I'm really happy for you Masty that you are so accepting of your place as beatdown bitch for 95% of the roster. I'm glad that you are happy with the fact that people always know where you are since more often than not it's the same place week in and week out. Lying on your back looking up at the ceiling while the ref raises someone elses hand.

You're absolutely right about one thing though Masty. I didn't win Superstar of the Month, never tried to either. But we both know that if I actually did try I might just for giggles. Who knows maybe I'll win it this month. Afterall I'm fixing to go 3-0. You ever go 3-0 at anything in your life? Ever?

Smart move not mouthing off about Paul, smart but sackless. You don't go looking for fights where you don't have to. Funny because me...I love looking for fights. I turn over motherfucking rocks looking for fights.

Yeah I am the protector of the Alliance, though I prefer Resident Badass or Enforcer but Protector works too. Almost makes me sound like a good guy or some shit. But yeah I had to protect Fern last week and you saw what happened this week when I wasn't there to keep shit straight, he lost. To Aerial fucking Knight and Vinnie Lane of all people. One week he's a winner, the next week he's not. Funny how that works.

I don't recall ever saying that I have an issue taking orders, in fact my track record would show that the opposite is true. I don't know how many people sign up for the service when they don't like taking orders. I'm sure there are a few here or there but they generally wash out pretty quickly. Not me though. I took orders then and yes I still take them now. But you see I'm not some asshole who sits in a cubicle punching away on a keyboard for 9 hours a day wearing a shirt and tie doing whatever the boss tells me. When my boss, in this case Paul Heyman asks me to do something it involves kindly shoving my first through someones face. Now I ask you, would you have an issue with an order like that? You might, cause you're a fucking mary but me, I'm all for it.

I'm glad you have confidence in yourself Masty. I'm truly happy that you are riding this 3 match winning streak. You are riding so high right now that it's going to make what I do to you next Monday that much better.

I hope you are as excited as I am.

Tommy sits down in his chair. He picks up his fork and knife and starts carving away at his T-bone.