"Welcome to die!"
~ Magneto (1992 X-Men Arcade Game)

Game Boy hops out of the tank and lands on the dry earth, small patches of grass spaced far away from each others. GB looks at the towering fortress in front of him, his eyes start at the bridge in front of him and look to the highest peak of the tower, the smug smile wipes away to an open mouth of awe as his pupils grow smaller staring at the heavily defended castle in front of him.


"Good luck GB!"

Game Boy slowly turns his head, with the look of 'are effing kidding me right now?' and he stares at Princess for a moment before the tank speeds away faster than he got here, kicking up dust that lingers in the air. GB turns back to the fortress and swallows the lump in his throat and exhales deeply, trying to clear his mind of doubt as he walks towards the bridge over the deep canyon. He's cautious, slowing stepping onto the wide metal bridge that connects to the fortress. GB knows if he's quiet and avoids enemies, he could save himself a lot of trouble. As our hero moves, examining the castle turrets. A blue orb flies through the air, stopping and hovering to the side of GB, he spots the orb in the corner of his eye and a bead of sweat drips from his forehead.

NEW MESSAGE FROM XWF!


"NO! Ssssssh go away!"

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SKIP TO HIS FINAL WORDS?


"Get out of here!"

YOU HAVE SAID .. YES! PLAYING MESSAGE *CLICK*

Peter Gilmour Said:So Game Bitch, you speak again. I really wish you didn't because your promo literally made me want to throw up.

"Gosh darnit! Wait, literally throw up? That doesn't make any sense."

As Game Boy is distracted a horn loudly sounds from the fortress, GB looks to the large gate at the end of the bridge, the gate lowering. GB panics and sprints at full speed, sliding underneath the gate, narrowing missing the metal prongs that slam into the earth. Upon entering the fortress' courtyard the short colorful enemies panic and flee from the sight of Game Boy who stands there dusting himself off, surveying the area.

Peter Gilmour Said:You think that hitting a button and making it activate trash talk is going to help you beat me? Boy, you are sorely mistaken. Maybe I should activate my ownage button because I'm about to OWN YOU so listen up bitch.

"It's not a button."

Game Boy starts to reply as he moves into some cover behind a convenient chest high wall and a small flood of enemies enter the courtyard.


"It's a power up but I can adjust the settings, I didn't hit a button. You saw my video message right? I just adjusted the trash talk percentage with my voice, no button was involved. And yes, activating my power of trash talk will help me win, because that's how people usually win matches. Trash talk for whatever reason makes a difference in the outcome. And Ownage button? Don't be ridiculous Peter."

Game Boy snakes the edges of the sandbags as the small group of enemies draw near. They begin to turn away from the sandbags and GB seizes the opportunity and sneaks behind one of the red enemies trailing behind, GB gets closer and closer and swings a chop into the back of the enemy's neck, who falls to the floor with X's over his eyes. The sound of light armor hitting the ground alerts the others and they turn to see GB standing there.


"AH! It's Game Boy! Get him!"

Game Boy stands his ground and gets into a fighting stance, in traditional henchman fashion the small enemies each attack individually without using ranged attacks. The first, a small red enemy throws strong punches at GB who blocks each strike with his open palms.

Peter Gilmour Said:You talk about Ghost Tank and let's be honest, I was hoping for a challenge but as we all saw I whipped his ass. But you saying he is the worst wrestler ever, I think is so wrong. There are others in this fed that are worse than him. YOU INCLUDED!

"You have to admit he is one of the worst. As for saying I'm one of the worst, that's not true in the slightest. I've only been involved in two matches but I won both. That's would be considered a 0.00 win/loss ratio, because I've never had a loss to make a standard. If I ever do lose, the ratio will still be better than most. Better than yours Peter."

Game Boy knocks back another attack and throws the foe's arm away, as the enemy turns from the parry GB crouches and jumps with a Raging Uppercut! Knocking the foe high into the air, disappearing into the clouds above. Another foe swings a sword at GB who catches the blade between his palms like a cool guy and knocks it away, ducking and weaving away from the swipes.


"I guess you could say that wins and losses do not define a wrestler, but how else can we be defined? Title wins is another factor, that is true. And you have held a few belts. But what I focus on is you've lost all those belts too, I have tons of achievements. Some were super hard to get, they are my titles. And I can never lose them. So, to counter that point you made Peter, I believe you are one of the worst in the XWF."

After ducking another horizontal swipe from the enemy, GB side steps and throws a hard punch in his kidney, the foe is stunned and our hero performs Bimmy To Jimmy! A belly to back suplex for you norms. The small enemy's head smashes through the dry earth and his body stays there, kicking and waving it's arms as his head is buried. The third enemy runs in and the two begin to spar.

Peter Gilmour Said:You talk about Turning point and how I had to be carried by Grayson Stinger and my good friend Dimallisher. WHO GOT THE PIN YOU STUPID FUCK?

"What is that!?"


"The guy speaking or the orb?"

The two continue to spar whilst talking to one another.


"Er, both?"


"Oh, well the orb is a magical corporeal ball of pure energy that can go between worlds and relay messages. The guy speaking is just some idiot I have to deal with in my side quests.

Peter Gilmour Said:Me, Dim and Stinger whipped Tush, Crimson Dick and old man Barney Green's ass all over that ring and I hit Tush with the Gilmour Cutter and got the win for my team. I did it by myself! I didn't need to be carried by Dim or Stinger. Just like I didn't have to be carried at WARGAMES.

"That's true, but I don't really consider that a big win. The whole thing was a bit of a joke imo. But a win's a win I guess."

Peter Gilmour Said:Sure, YOU got the pin for our team

"No I didn't. I would have liked to but Simon aka Fake Frodo got the winning pin. You were there Peter, how did you not remember that? I can excuse the fact that you're pretty dumb and you've been hit in the head so many times that you forget a lot of important information. But you were actually there! I'd get that memory loss checked out if I was you. Maybe your memory card is corrupted. Which can be REALLY bad. You could lose all you saved data!"

Game Boy and the foe get decent shots in each as they continue to circle each other holding up their guard, punching when they see the opportunity.

Peter Gilmour Said:but I did my part for the team. So don't give me that bullshit I had to have help at Turning Point. FUCK YOU! *Ownage points: 10*

"But you did have help. It was a team match, that basically implies you had help. You may have got the pin, but you would have lost if you were on your own. Not only are you being a silly billy again, but you're knocking down the team that helped you achieve that victory, and that's such a noob thing to do. Get your head out of your butt Gilmour! *Ownage points ∞+1*"

Game Boy steps back and avoids a stiff jab, GB rushes back and spears the enemy to the ground. While over his GB grasps his hands together and a ball of energy emanates from between his hands and he smashes the foe's mask and head into a mess of red pixels and coins. GB looks shocked and he hops away from the fallen enemy, waiting for the next in line to attack.

Peter Gilmour Said:You ask me what my real name is? It's PETER FUCKIN GILMOUR! That is my real name.

"I seriously doubt that's your middle name. The reason why I brought that up was to show you how dumb it is to make fun of someone's name, something they have no real control over. I guess they could get it changed, but Game Boy is my name. I have no control over that. The entire notion of mocking my name is absurd.

Peter Gilmour Said:So again, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Least I'm not named after a gaming system from the 1980's! Let me ask you something dude. Are your parents named Sega and Nintendo? They have to be because they have to be stupid to conceive a loser like you. But I digress.

"Possibly. I never knew my parents or my creators, so it's plausible that my parents were named Sega and Nintendo. But by that logic your parents would be called fat loser and brainless slut. . . WOAH! I haven't even turned on the power of trash talk, where did that come from?"

As Game Boy ponders this, the final enemy sucker punches GB in the temple, knocking him to the ground. GB stumbles on the ground as the final foe approaches, GB grabs a handful of dry dirt and throws it at the enemy's eyes, a low tactic but it works. GB gets back to his feet.

Peter Gilmour Said:You make fun of my hair and say people who have brown hair put their socks on in the morning. What the fuck does that even mean? I put my socks on every morning as do everybody else.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me. One, you got it wrong. I know everyone can put socks on, I said you couldn't. Because you are very dumb, which by misinterpreting my point proves you actually are that dumb. I was being sarcastic when I talked about your hair. I was being satirical, maybe. You said something really dumb, I replied with another point that sounded just as dumb to point out how just how fCENSOREDing dumb you are! . . . What is wrong with me?"

The final foe rushes GB and tries to strike again, but Game Boy frustrated simple sticks out his arm and shoots a pillar of energy from his palm, incinerating the enemy. Game Boy lowers his arm and looks to the large door the enemies came through, he jumps and lands onto the steel steps and walks through the door into a large circular room, the door slamming shut behind him. GB looks quizzically around the room.

Peter Gilmour Said:You actually think that ripping my legs off will hurt me and I won't be able to fight? Bitch, you won't be able to do that because I'm going to rip your arms off and beat you with it until you're nothing but a blood stain on the floor.

"Hahaha. Yes, I really do think ripping your legs off will hurt. No matter what you claim you're still a human being. Anything I do will hurt you. My health regenerates, I can grab a one up at any time if I look in the right place, if I die I will respawn. I am unstoppable! Also, in your first promo you called my fatality 'lame.' Yet, you say you're going to rip off my arms and beat me to death with them. So, you call my fatality lame but steal it and replace legs with arms. Bravo you dolt."

The horn sounds again, louder and more deafening this time. Mechanical noises fill the room as the ceiling opens and a giant knight falls through, crashing onto the floor and standing tall, shadowing Game Boy who stands firm.


DEFENDER KNIGHT

GAME BOY

Game Boy starts to circle the giant boss as it moves slowly and swings the colossal sword, due to it's slow movement Game Boy can easily roll out of the way and study it's pattern.

Peter Gilmour Said:Call me a douchebag

"You're a douchebag."

Peter Gilmour Said:a scumbag

"You're a scumbag."

Peter Gilmour Said:whatever you want dude.

"You're a beige rainbow of disappointment and failure."

Peter Gilmour Said:The fact is, I am going to end your life this coming Wednesday and you can't do anything about it. I know what's at stake in this match you idiot. One of us is going to get killed and thrown into the pit below us. But it's not going to be me! I will do everything in my power to make sure to stay alive, because I am immortal, I cannot die!

"That's not a fact at all, and I can do everything in my power to stop it. I don't like people who think they're going to win for no other reason apart from they say so. Life does not work like that. If it did, do you really think I would deal with anything that is going on right now? I would just say I win and retire. Live a peaceful life, hopefully with Princess but no. Instead I have to deal with bosses like this and goombahs like you. I may die, you may die. That's the only thing we can say for sure. You say you're immortal, but without a doubt in my mind, if you fall below or get ripped apart by me, a doctor will pronounce you dead. Me on the other hand, I still have a ton of continues left. I die, I respawn. Simple as that. You are not immortal. Old age gets us all in the end. One day the cartridge will corrupt and one day you will draw your last breath, only difference is, I'll stay this young and healthy. You on the other hand. Well, I'm sure even someone as stupid as you can figure out what old age will do to you."

Peter Gilmour Said:You bring up all the villains I mentioned in my last promo and how they all died. Sure, they died but they all came back to life. Take Michael Myers for example, he got killed in every movie, but yet he kept coming back every time. That's how I am. No matter what you do to me, I will just keep coming back and coming back. I am the never ending nightmare. I will not go away! And this Wednesday, it will take more than some lame fatality to end me because like I said before, I CANNOT DIE!

"All movies come to an end. This match will be the last in your series. You can die. I will prove it."

Game Boy dodges another wide attack, as a black aura surrounds him and his pupils turn white. He roars at the boss and a giant ball of black and red energy grows in his hand, he throws the ball of energy at the Defender Knight but he blocks with his sword and swipes it back at GB. His aura vanishes, his eyes go back to normal and he gulps.


"Oh sCENSORED"

The gigantic ball of energy crashes into GB and sends him through the floor crashing through the metal and continuing to fall through a lower room.

GAME BOY

Game Boy falls and smashes through the floor of the lower room.

GAME BOY

CRASH and another floor.

GAME BOY

CRASH!

GAME BOY

And he lands heavily onto a random enemy in a square room with a stone floor and a red glow.

GAME BOY

Battered and bruised GB looks up through the holes he made and stares into the eyes of the Defender Knight who stares down at him. They stare at each other for a moment before the knight moves away from the first hole, making loud clanging sounds as he moves across the metal floor.


*cough* "Gah . . . Why does this hurt so much? *cough* It shouldn't hurt this much. . . . Someone . Please . . Help me."

Game Boy tries to move but he can barely lift a finger, so, he lies there. In unimaginable pain, he closes his eyes. The enemy underneath GB starts to flicker and disappears causing our hero to fall a few extra feet which must of hurt a bit. Game Boy grunts in pain and stares at the ceiling again, nothing but a low buzz and a red light fill this room. Suddenly, a blue light ignites from GB and he draws a sharp breath as his eyes widen.

CONGRATULATIONS! LEVEL UP! NEW MOVE LEARNED: Yoshi Bomb! ⇦ ⇧ ⇩ B, B, A Summon a Yoshi who hands you an egg, throw the egg at an unfortunate enemy and be amazed with a dazzling explosion! (Yoshi may eat small enemies in the area to produce another egg bomb).

GAME BOY

Game Boy nips up revived from the level up he smiles widely and looks around the room.


"Oh I love experience points and progress bars! Thank you random minion! Okay, now to get out of here.

Peter Gilmour Said:And don't give me that bullshit how Azrael Erebus "killed" me by putting me under a load of sh-

Before the orb could relay Peter's message, GB obliterates it with an energy blast and continues to search for the source of the red glow, until he see a large crystal stuck into the ground with unfamiliar runes inscribed in crayon.


"That must be the ancient evil Princess talked about! Well, guess I should destroy it."

GB powers up a ball of energy in his hand and aims his palm at the crystal, but he stops and the energy dies down when he see a large creature run into the room. The creature is a peculiar one, large with a design of Bowser but with the face of Peter Gilmour. He laughs as he runs into the room and grabs the large crystal pulling it from the floor, the creature's pupils space apart from each other and drool flows from his mouth and he looks at Game Boy.

GILSER:
"Duuuh the stone of is mine! SUCK MY DICK FAGET!"

Our hero raises an eyebrow at GILSER as he runs away like a horse with shoes on, and the laces on the shoes have been tied together. GILSER runs straight through the wall and falls into the canyon below. GB looks confused to say the least.


"Stone of . Peter Gilmour monster. Yup. That explains everything."

Game Boy dusts off his hands and begins to walk away but the ground shakes and where the crystal was, an eruption of black ooze and ones and zeroes spill out, tearing through the ceiling. GB looks on at this in awe.


"Oh no. Not again."

The footage fades to black.