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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Turning Point PPV
Damn it feels good.
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John Samuels Offline
Whatever you are, be a good one.



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#1
01-23-2015, 09:03 PM



The scene opens to John Samuels seated alone at an empty bar, occupying a barstool right in the center of the bar--seated in front of a half empty bottle of whiskey, an empty shot glass and a cigar releasing a plume of smoke. Samuels lifts the cigar to his lips, tilts his head toward the television in the corner running an XWF commercial, and smiles as he takes a long drag off the cigar.

"Well, well. The mongrel decided it was time to start yelping."

Steve Davids Said:I asked Ricky with a wink as he told the waitress she was wearing too much clothing.

"And right off the bat he starts flirting with one of his friends as he tries to pretend he's straight by using a pickup line that only a closeted queer would use once the camera was on him and he realized that ol' mum and dad were probably going to see this on the tele. Give it the fuck up, Ricky, you're not fooling any of us."

"Come on, Davids, really? I'm getting sick of having to point out the fact that you're a but you're just making it way too goddamn easy. I can't wait until your next promo starts and you're complimenting Ricky on his choice of perfume as your tongue swirls around his shaft and he's got his three longest fingers giving your prostate a rubbin' that'd make Jenna Jameson blush."

"I want something new, something fresh. These fans are getting bored of your bullshit Davids. Why, just the other day I received a piece of fan mail that simply said:"

Dear John Samuels,
I'm sorry that Steve Davids repeatedly acts like a giant .
I wish he could show more of a personality.
He's a bit of a one trick pony.
I hope that Steve Davids can dig deep and prove that he isn't just a brainless shit stain.
Best of luck to you, John Samuels. I'll be rooting for you.
Sincerley,
Steve David's mother.

P.S. Have you ever noticed the way he looks at Ricky?


"What a powerful plea. I've been begging for the same thing, Steve. I woke up this morning, had my self a nice big bowl of Samuels Stars, and I said to myself 'Man! I really hope Steve Davids has cut some awesome promo to show just how seriously he's taking defending the Universal Title!' And then I sauntered over to the televsion, after my morning shit of course, and I flipped that son of a bitch on and sure-as-shit, there's Steve Davids and his prolapsed colon support group playing a game of 'Go-Fish.' And of course I got the obligatory chuckle in as I watched David's stare at his buddy's thigh for some odd reason, but that quickly turned to pity."

"Poor Steve Davids just doesn't understand when he's being made fun. Congratulations Davids, you successfully managed to point out that I don't give half a fuck about your little soccer game. You're right, I didn't catch the score of last weekend's game because like any civilized American, literally everything I did that weekend--from taking a shit to clipping my toenails--was more important than checking the score of some random ass soccer game half way across the world."

"And I'll continue to call it soccer, thank you very much."

"Now I could systematically go through every single thing that your urine-filled brain can't comprehend about America, but I'm not some anti-social sack of shit with no life like Sebastian Duke who can sit here in front of the goddamned camera all day, every day. I just don't have the time. So let's cut to the fat of it, shall we?"

"You think what you did to Theo is the same as what he did to Eli? You couldn't be any more wrong. Theo worked his ass off to put himself into a position to make that Universal title something that meant something. That piece of shit Eli could barely be bothered to show his face when he won that title. He didn't deserve that title. The XWF didn't deserve to have an absentee champion who would only poke his nose in from time to time just to remind us that he was too big of a bitch to defend the title. So like a real champion, Theo came in and he took that title from Eli. And he's been here week in, week out. Theo was exactly what the company needed in a champion."

"And then along came the Psycho Sensation, straight out of the depths of 'Holy-shit-that-guys-still-alive-istan,' and you plunged the XWF world right back into the Eli James age. I'm sure you would have been quite content to just sit at home munching on fish and chips while sitting on Ricky's lap as you two watched Turning Point from the comfort of your couch, making sure to take the occasional break to nibble on each other's earlobes. I practically had to force management to make you defend your title this weekend, and there's no denying it. You cheated Theo for that title and somehow thought you would just get away with it, didn't you? Not a fucking chance. You're going to pay for crossing the Kings, and it's not going to be pretty."

"I love that the culmination of your wildest dreams is a tainted victory over a fatigued opponent to hold a title belt just long enough for his partner to hand you the most lopsided and embarrassing loss of your pathetic career. You know what the biggest difference between you and I is, Davids? Let's ignore all the accolades that I have and you never will. The cheers and adoration that's showered on me wherever I go that you couldn't get if you were coated in sugar and dropped off at fat camp. Ignore my involvement in the most dominant stable the XWF has ever seen, while you couldn't find two other people to even attend your funeral. The key difference, Steve, is that I know that winning the title isn't the end of the road. Becoming the champion isn't the endgame to anyone with any amount of pride. Constantly striving to be the best is what you should always be aiming for."

"And that's where it all goes wrong for you at Turning Point, Steve. You've already grown complacent despite the fact that you haven't even shown that you deserve to shine that fucking belt yet. Can't really blame you though, you know just like everyone else that you're not in my league. You've just now reached a level I surpassed early into my XWF career. You think I'm naive that I consider it a forgone conclusion that I'm going to bury you like a piping hot pile of dog shit on Saturday? What does that make you, Steve? Everything you've said and done has just screamed 'look tough before you lose your belt to John Samuels.' That title is coming back with me on Saturday, and the reason is equal parts my greatness and your concession to your superiors."

"Go ahead and deny it, Davids. Say you're not the piece of shit that I claim you are. I could use a good laugh. Don't forget, I was here when you came into the XWF. I formed this opinion long ago and it's remained unchanged. Sure, I've been wrong about my judgement of others before: Paul Heyman being a worthwhile human as opposed to a backstabbing piece of shit, Theo Pryce being a fake fuck who cries like a little girl whenever he doesn't get his way. But you, Davids. No, I know my first thoughts were spot on: A coward that would never amount to anything, even if he gets an unbelievable break and manages to accomplish something of note."

"Coddle that belt, Davids. Hug it. Kiss it. Take it into a photobooth. Buy it cotton candy. Do everything you've ever wished of doing with it while you can, because I can guarantee you of two things: That title comes with me after I beat you at Turning Point, and I'll make sure to pick out the nicest flowers I can find to plant right on top of your grave site. And if by some miracle you manage to dig your stupid ass out of that grave, I hope you realize that that title will never fall into your hands again, and you'll never be put into a position where that's even a possibility."

[Image: WWF-JBL_1506347856131-768x431.jpg]

1X - GOAT.
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