*Before Gator even finishes the word 'where' he spins around and throws a heavy right hook into Ryan Reynolds' temple. Ryan goes cross eyed and smacks his head against the door frame before falling to the ground, not moving. Gator looks down at the body of Ryan, his hands tensed. Gator slowly looks to Todd*
"Well...."
T: "... You just killed Ryan Reynolds."
"He's fine."
*Gator lightly kicks Ryan in his shoulder. No reaction*
"He's just sleeping."
T: ". . ."
"Fuck off Todd!"
T: "I didn't say anything."
*Gator gets down on a knee and checks Ryan's pulse*
"He's breathing."
*Gator gets to his feet and lifts Ryan over his shoulder*
"I'm just going to put him back in his bed, and then we leave. Okay?"
T: "You're the boss."
*Gator turns and THUD hits Ryan's head against the door frame once again. Gator's body panics for a moment, and he slowly and carefully walks into the bedroom were Reynolds' came from. Gator steps closer to the queen sized bed and throws Ryan onto the mattress, the bed springs squeak as Ryan bounces on the soft bed. Gator looks around and walks out of the bedroom*
"It's full of pot in there."
T: "Really?"
"Yeah, puts Griffin MacAllister to shame."
*Gator walks to the door, grabbing a key from the counter, Todd follows and both men exit Gator closing and locking the door behind him*
TIM MILLER: "Ryan!"
*Gator and Todd jump and turn to Tim who stands a few feet away from them*
"Oh, hey Tim. What's up?"
TIM MILLER: "Change of plans. We need you to do the cafe scene now while there's still daylight."
"Oh Tim I'd love to but I was gonna tour Boston, maybe tomorrow?"
TIM MILLER: "Tour Boston? There's nothing to do here. Come on."
*Gator sighs and walks down the stairs. The scene transitions to Gator and an attractive young woman sat at a table in a cafe, similar to Starbucks. A few people sit in the background. Gator looks around a little as the woman speaks*
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. I know you want revenge on the people who did this to you in the Weapon X program but you can still have a normal life, a normal life. With me."
*The girl grabs Gator's hand. Gator looks at the woman confused and freezes, he looks behind the camera*
"Line!"
*The entire cast and crew collectively sigh and the scene slowly fades to black*
NOW.
*Gator and the young woman sit at the coffee table. The steam that once rose from the cups in front of them has gone, the woman has her head down massaging her brow. Gator relaxes in his chair, looking at the crew. A clapboard comes in front of the camera*
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take thirteen."
*The crew member closes the clapboard with a snap and the woman composes herself, Gator looks at the clapboard*
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. I know you want re-"
"What are those things called, I've always wanted to know."
*Gator says, lazily pointing at the clapboard. The girl bangs her head against the table as, the crew groans. The director speaks from behind the camera*
TIM: "It's called a clapboard Ryan, now will you please just say your lines so we can get the scene over with."
"A clapboard hm. Oh, yeah, the scene. Sorry... Er. Can I take a quick look at the script?"
*Tim just sighs, and a young man comes onto the scene, holding open the script and facing it to Gator, who scans the page for a minute or two. The girl raises her head, obviously frustrated. Gator smiles under his mask and nods to the man. Who leaves the screen muttering 'jackass' under his breath*
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take fourteen."
*The woman begins to speak, but Gator sticks a cigarette in his mouth and ignites it*
TIM: "CUT!"
"What now?"
*Gator mumbles his words, the filter of the cigarette hanging out of his mouth*
TIM: "Deadpool doesn't smoke, put that fucking cigarette out now."
"Fine geez."
*Gator takes a final drag of the smoke and tosses the cig into the girl's cup of coffee, falling back into his seat, expelling smoke. The clapboard comes into view again*
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take fifteen."
*Snap*
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. I know you want revenge on the people who did this to you in the Weapon X program but you can still have a normal life, a normal life. With me."
*Gator says nothing, just looking at the girl. His eyebrow raised under his mask, he smiles and clicks his fingers*
"I know where I know you from. You were in that Avengers porno right?"
*The girl's face turns red and she shies away from Gator*
"Yeah! Black Wid-HOE right? Haha, when you walked in on the Hulk and Hawkeye in the shower and they both double teamed you and-"
TIM: "Cut! Cut! Cut!!!!"
*Gator turns his head to Tim, while the girl buries her face in her arms*
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take sixteen."
*Snap. The girl composes herself and clears her throat. Gator starts to bob his head slowly*
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. -"
"Don't believe just watch! Dunu nuna nuna!"
TIM: "CUT!"
"You guys heard that song? I think it's awesome." *Gator begins dancing in his chair and clapping his hands* "Stop."
"Wait a minute."
"Fill my cup put some liquor in it."
*Some of the crew and Todd join in on the song*
"Take a sip, sign a check."
"Julio! Get the stretch!"
"Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi."
"If we show up, we gon’ show out."
"Smoother than a fresh jar of skippy."
TIM: "Enough!!"
*Gator stops dancing and clapping, and everybody stops their singing. Gator looks at Tim, and turns back to the girl, composing himself*
"I apologise. Go on."
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take seventeen."
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. I know you want revenge on the people who did this to you in the Weapon X program but you can still have a normal life, a normal life. With me."
"Karen."
TIM: "CUT!"
"What that was perfect?"
TIM: "You're still talking in that damn English accent."
"Oh. Okay. *Gator clears his throat and puts on a strong Texan accent* How about nao pardner?"
TIM: "... Try more New York."
"But Deadpool's Canadian pilgrim."
TIM: "Stop! Talking like that... Just do a natural American accent, you know, like the one you use everyday."
*Gator clears his throat again*
"Like this?"
TIM: "Better."
CREW MEMBER: "Scene five, act two, take eighteen."
*The clapboard snaps again, much to the delight of Gator who looks the girl in the eyes, taking a swig of his cold coffee*
GIRL: "You can't keep doing this Wade. I know you want revenge on the people who did this to you in the Weapon X program but you can still have a normal life, a normal life. With me."
*Gator swallows the cold brown drink and sighs*
"Julie."
GIRL: "Karen."
"Whatever. You know I have to do this, you may be in love now, but this will fade. I'm a monster. How can you love a man with a face like this?"
*Karen looks at Gator expectantly, who pats the table looking around*
TIM: "Gaaah CUT! ... Ryan, then you take off your mask and she pukes."
"Yeaahh. I'm not doing that."
TIM: "Why the hell not?"
"A number of reasons but I'm gonna go with go fuck yourself Tim."
TIM: "... Fine! We'' edit it in post, just carry on with the damn scene."
KAREN: "So I just react to nothing?"
TIM: "You're an actress sweetheart, I'm sure you can imagine it. Roll camera!"
*beep*
KAREN: "BURG*
*Karen covers her mouth, with wide eyes as she pretends to gag. She turns away from the camera and makes vomit noises. Gator steps up slowly*
"Okay, so I'm gonna bounce. Give me a call sometime?"
*Gator strolls over to the cafe door, the camera following. He turns around grabbing the handle, Karen getting back to her seat*
"Until next we meet, mon ami."
*Gator blows a kiss and Karen gags again as Gator leaves the cafe*
TIM: " ... Fuck it, that will do."
*A bell rings somewhere on set and Karen quickly leaves the table, muttering curse words under her breath. Gator strolls over, his arms wide looking cocky*
T: Great job Ga-Er Ryan."
"Baby I know. So Tim, how'd I do?"
TIM: "... Ryan. Why don't you go back to your trailer and take a minute."
"HOLD ON A FUCKING MINUTE!"
*Tim, Gator look behind Todd's camera, who slowly turns to reveal Ryan Reynolds, standing there in his boxers. Ryan walks towards Gator slowly, Tim's mouth is agape. Gator seems unimpressed*
TIM: "R-Ryan?"
"... Oh ... What a great stunt double you hired here Tim. But, no costume? What an amateur am I right?"
RYAN REYNOLDS: "You knock me out. Lock me in my trailer. You commit identity fraud!"
"Well, let's not be rash."
RYAN REYNOLDS: "And you make me look bad in my movie!"
" ... Actually, I think I did a fantastic job. Better than your performance in two guys, a girl and a pizza place."
TIM: "I'm calling the cops."
"I'll be on my way. Come along Todd."
*Gator and Todd quickly exit the scene. and the footage slowly fades to black*
*Gator sits in a dimly lit room, a cigarette in his mouth, he removes it and expels smoke in front of the camera*
"...
This hit
That ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer
That white gold
This one, for them hood girls
Them good girls
Straight masterpieces
Stylin', while in
Livin’ it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Got kiss myself I’m so pretty."
"Goddamn I love that song. I'll forget about it soon though. Hey guys! You want this?"
*Gator raises the TV title to the camera*
"Well, too fucking bad!"
*Gator lowers the belt and takes another drag of his cigarette*
"Do I really need to state the reasons why all of you in this match don't deserve my belt? Fuck I can think of a few. Mastermind, you had two chances to get this belt and both times I pinned you. Maverick, you had a chance and you ended up with more than egg on your face. And Knight. You had a shot when I held this belt, and blew it. You got it and you fucked up again because I wanted it more. These are the facts, simple and clear as day. You can try and deny these facts, but you won't. You all had chances and none of you could do it. Wanna know why? Because this belt belongs to me, this is my belt. When I am dead and gone this belt will be forever tied to me, people will still call this belt, Gator's belt. Some may not even know why they call it Gator's belt, but they will. Because I bring so much damn credibility to this belt, it will forever be tied to me. And none of you will be able to take it from me."
"But you welcome to fucking try. I mean this is kinda perfect match for me, I love gauntlet matches! It just makes it all the more sweeter when I pick up the final victory. Haha and you fuckers think you could actually win this? Don't make me fucking laugh. The guy at the end has a huge advantage, and that man would be Knight, but that dumb bitch couldn't beat me on my worst day. Anyone who thinks he could still win after I get worn down by Mastermind and fucking Iceman is dumber than he is."
"So, like Frodo, I'm gonna keep this short and ugly. Bring your a game this week, because I really don't want an easy victory like last Madness. I wanna actually break a sweat this week. You losers can at least try and make me work right? I certainly hope so. Have a good night, oh, and I can't wait for your responses. I'm sure it's just going to be gold like last time I kicked your sorry asses."
F A D E2BL A CK
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