"Who the hell could it be at this hour?"

Mav opens the door

"Sup, ."

Frodo throws a can of Fancy Feast at Maverick and pushes his way inside.

"Where the fuck you been? Sucking dick under the bridge?"

The can of Fancy Feast bounces off Mav's head

"Ow, the fuck? For your information, I was just waiting for all those dipshits on Team Jerk- Offs to say something, though it seems as though Swann is permanently mute."

"Don't care. You could have said something. We thought you died. Hell, we had a Coke party at my house yesterday. Turns out, Harrison does drugs now."


Frodo pushes his way into the house and sits on the sofa

"The fuck, why was Harrison at your place? What happened to that fucker, Tuesday?"

"He's a punk, vanished. I got Harrison on board. He watched Katie poop. Apparently that's his bag. You guys share a common interest. Maybe after the match you can shit on each other."

"Fuck you, that was X-Pac who shat on the belt. Anyway, what are you doing here?"[/font][/color]

"Seeing if you're alive. Porn, yes?"

Frodo undoes his belt. And pulls his junk out of his pants.

"N- no. I'd appreciate if you put your phallus away, thank you."

Frodo stands up with his junk still flopping around.

"Why? Does it bother you? We're team mates. We share this kind of stuff. Do I need to lock you in the closet while Swaggy shits? Will that cement our team bond?"

"Well, yeah, kinda does bother me, since you ARE a known rapist around the locker room. And if you want to cement our teammate bond, then please show some shreds of decency and put your phallus away."

"Don't be a homophobe. Gimme a hug, man."

"Eugh."

Mav gives a hugging while splitting his legs to be away from Frodo's phallus. Frodo begins to hump Mav, slapping his balls on Mav's groin.

"You like that?"

Mav pushes Frodo away and puts a hand right in his face

"Raper no raping!"

"Nigga. This ain't rape? It's just humps. Anyway, I already came."

He points to the jizz on Maverick's pants.

Mav blushes, and clears his throat.

"Dear God. Well, so much for precautions. Excuse me while I change, and please don't get any jizz on the furniture."

Frodo puts his junk away before plopping down on the sofa while Maverick changes.

"So... What idiotic lies were the Underground trying to garble out while I was gone?"

"Wallace is saying the same generic shit he always does. Lane is being Lane. He couldn't figure out how to insult me properly, so he had Gator come over to walk him through it. They didn't much talk about you. Except Knight thinks you're incapable of winning without getting a count out. Even though you've beaten more people than he has."

"Pffft. I expected that. Same old, same old. I did manage to catch a few glimpses of there promos, and they looked more dumber than usual."

"Coming from the man that says more dumber, that says a lot. Anyway, want some Coke?"

Frodo pulls a bag of Coke from behind Maverick's sofa and offers it up to Maverick. Mav rolls his eyes upon hearing Frodo speak, and then shakes his head at the bag of coke being offered.

"No thanks man, I don't do drugs."

"Then why did I find a bag of Coke behind your sofa?"

"I dunno, you put it there or some shit? It would be like you to scout out my home to peep and then leave a spare bag of Coke for later."[/font][/color]

"Nigga. I told you. I been dealing with people doing drugs at my house. On top of trying to kill myself. I ain't got time to hide Coke here. Did you ever look behind your sofa?"

"I managed to catch a glimpse at Harrison's promo, you said you went over his place to peep at Jessica. Who says you couldn't have gone over here to peep, and leave a spare bag of Coke while you were waiting?"

"The fuck you got worth peeping at? Nigga, you look like a toilet. Reminds me. I gotta shit. You wanna lay on the floor? Be just like last time."

"No! And note, that was Un! He might wanna lay down, but I don't fucking swing that way!"

"Yeah, stop with the Un stuff. People are making fun of you for it. Try just telling them you really needed a nap or something. Don't be Peter. Or Wallace."

"Not my fucking fault it's true! We've both been on camera multiple times, hell, he even Sparta- kicked me through a window!"

"Take some Coke, and chill the fuck out. People are calling you the new Gilly."

"Wa- wh- WHAT?! New Gilly? Fuck them! I'm not telling them to suck my non- existent superdick like he is!"

"Dude, you're one step away from that. Come on, I'm hungry. Let's go get food. Your treat."

Mav squints at Frodo with his promise of food.

"Fine. What are we getting, Fancy Feast?"

"No, nigga. I want Chinese"

"Fine. You know any good Chinese joints around here?"

"It's Chinese. How hard can it be to fuck up. Nigga, just drive."

"Fine, fine, whatever. Hop in the car, surely there can't be a decent one not far."

Frodo and Mav hop in Mav's black 2004 Porsche.

"You drive a Porsche?"

"Problem?"

"I thought you said you were straight. My bad. Welcome aboard the homo train."

"I thought you were above judging people's sexuality by what cars they drive, but I suppose I was wrong. Now hop aboard that stereotype train. Choo- choo."

"Says the homo in the Porsche."

"Says the man who is addicted to tranny porn, Coke, and has an extremely racist brother."

"Yeah, and you're shocked that I'm judgemental? Dude, it's like you don't even know me at all."

"Probably because the main source of talking I've had with you is with your clone, Carl or Simon or some shit like that."

"I thought we were friends. Man, you're hurting my feelings."

Frodo pulls out the bag of Coke and takes a hit. Right as Maverick hits the brakes, which startles Frodo, causing him to squish the bag and send the contents all over the car. Frodo wipes some off his face, and inhales it.

"I consider ourselves more or less acquaintances since we hardly know each other. Forgive me."

"Eh, I just spilled about a pound of pure Bolivian Beauty all over your fagmobile. You're a racist who hates me because I have a black brother and daughter. I guess we're even."

"Racist? How am I- forgive me. And I don't hate your daughter, I don't know what gave you that feeling."

"You're driving a homo Nazi car. Dude, how can I feel comfortable when you're basically driving Austwitz"

"Dude, its a fucking car. I'm not going to go head- to- head with you over a fucking car. I just like a flashy car, is all. Now come on, we're here."

"God, you're so easy to wind up. You know, I've been to Austwitz before?"

Frodo and Maverick get out and go inside. The restaurant is being entirely operated by Koreans. Not a single Chinese dude in sight.

"Dear fucking God, something tells me we went to the wrong place to eat. Why does the Korean and Chinese alphabet have to be so damn similar?"

"No, this is Chinese food. It's just being operated by Gooks. It's a common thing. Gooks are so ashamed of being who they are that they pretend to be Chinese."

Frodo walks over and sits at a table.

Mav sighs and sits at the table where Frodo is sitting. A pretty Korean girl comes over and giggles at them as she takes their drink orders.

"Dr. Pepper. No ice."

"Sprite, minimal ice, please."

She giggles and walks away.

"Dude, for a gook. She's kind of cute. I'ma fuck her."

"Eh, she does look kinda cute. But since your trying to win back Sarah, shouldn't you obstinate from sex for now?"

"Sarah came back. Yeah, last night. It's cool. I'ma go fuck her. Stay here."

Frodo gets up and goes to find the waitress. Mav reclines back while Frodo goes waitress- hunting. Out of nowhere, he pulls out a micro- camera and sets it so it can cover both seats.

"Eh, it'll do since I forgot to have Frank tag along."

Frodo is in the back talking to the waitress. He starts whispering in her ear while sliding his hand up her skirt. She starts giggling, and reaching for his belt. His pants fall to the floor, and he pulls back enough to slide her panties off of her. Mav turns his eye to see the cute waitresses' nice butt, but just as quickly turns it back to wait for Frodo to do his thing. Frodo comes back after a few minutes with two plates of Lo-Mein. He slaps one down on the table in front of Maverick, and one in front of him.

"I fucking love Lo-Mein. Oh, and she loves it up the ass."

The waitress comes out to give them their drinks. As she walks away Maverick notices her walking a little funny.

"Yeah, we used Lo-Mein grease as lube, and I may have left a few noodles up there."

He goes to high five Maverick.

"Eh, at least you managed to fuck a decent piece of ass."

Mav accepts Frodo's high- five offer. Maverick begins to eat the Lo-Mein until he finds a pair of silver silk panties in his food. Frodo begins to laugh hysterically.

"You evil mother fucker. You had me thinking that you used your plate. Ah well, at least I got the plate with her panties in it."

Mav places the panties in his pocket while continuing to eat.

"No, nigga. We used the Lo-Mein in the kitchen. Don't get more. I just put my underwear and your plate and buried it. Are you keeping my drawers?"

"Wh- whu..."

Mav spits out the lo mein and throws the underwear at Frodo.

"You disgusting mother fucker! I even have this camera rolling, as I was planning to shit- talk the Underground with you!"

"I'm kidding. They're hers. HAHAHAHAHA. Nigga. You shoulda seen your face."

"Oh. Then give me her panties back!"

Not waiting for Frodo, Mav snatches the panties and dries his face with them.

"We gonna shit- talk these dumbasses or what?"

"Go ahead. I'll eat until I need to interject."

Mav rolls his eyes.

"Fine. So, between numbers one through four, which one would you pick?"

Frodo holds up three fingers.

"Johnny Heartsford first it is. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, where the fuck do I even begin, you delusional nutcase? It's not bad enough that you're so delusional you think you're a knight, but you actually try to silence the only voice who actually has some reasoning. Trust me. In a match, with no Un bullshit, no Tigris bullshit, and no Underground bullshit, the voice of Doubt speaks the truth everytime- you lose. Hmm, what else have you got here? Frodo, you got some notes of their promos?"

"He thinks that he's better than you are. He thinks your win over Samuels was a pussy win."

"Pffffft. Please, he had trouble getting past Un. Un, the man who was purposely trying to make me lose every match. Admittedly, he did do a good job of making me look like some dumbass at the fatal five way, but hell, Heartsford was in serious trouble during the title defense. That says a lot, doesn't it? And my win over Samuels is a pussy win. Hmmmmmm, interesting. Is that because, it's by way of count out? I mean, if Samuels purposefully abandoned the match, then I'd say sure, that means nothing, but note that Samuels made an attempt to make it back to the ring. Hell, note that he even grabbed onto my boot for dear life. So why wouldn't he be able to get up and get into the ring?"

"Think that should be good. Frodo! Numbers one to three!"

He stuffs his mouth full of food while holding up one finger. His middle finger

"Lane it is! Frodo, what did Lane say in hindsight about me?"

"Not much. He's been focusing on me and Harrison. He ignores everyone that's not me. Then he talks about how I'm always trying to steal spotlight. Nigga, stop talking about me then."

"Jeez, what a way to contradict yourself, Lane. But aren't people supposed to talk about all of their opponents in a tag match? Oh yeah, I remember now. Talked about how he was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt about the title belt shit situation, then changes his mind when he sees me leave the stall after I shit with some grin off my face. Now then, lemme see when that happened... Oh yeah. I had some form of bowel infection or some shit like that, and I had to go shit real bad. Hence why it stank in the bathroom and why I was grinning. I mean, if you had to take a shit like that, you'd be smiling too that it's all over. And besides, if I 'supposedly' took a shit on the X-treme title, then why would I go to the bathroom like a decent person, and not shit on say, someone's gym bag? Huh? And you say that Frodo was going to back out because of the Shove- It? You idiot, he was about to get a three- count on you if it wasn't for Real Soviet Damage. You should be going up to that crippled moherfucker, and thanking him up and down. I mean, if you weren't about to lose, he wouldn't have taken a Shaoyuken in the Gauntlet. Way to go, Loverbitch."

"Alright, I seem good to go on Lane. Frodo, one or two?"

"Just do Wallace, and ignore Swann. He's the smart one. He hid from us."

"Alrighty then. TJ Wallace, the master of grade- school insults. What did that cocksucker have to say?"

"Not rightly sure. Most of it was babble with as many swears as he could possibly fit into a string of words. Not sure if most of it was even English."

Mav shakes his head before speaking.

"Do I really need to address this cocksucking moron then? We all know he hasn't done one thing relevant. Hell, at least I can say I beat Samuels, by however means. Who's he most relevant guy Wallace beat? Frost? Kage? Tessmocher? Dude's been on a month and a half losing streak, compared to my three match losing streak which looks much larger on paper due to Un, but TJ's losing streak isn't hard to see why. In fact, you just said it Frodo. Dude just garbles out babble with every swear in the English dictionary. Wallace, get rekt fgt."

"Stop talking about Un. Also, you can leave me here. I'm going back for round two."
Frodo gets up and goes back to the waitress in the kitchen.

Mav rolls his eyes, then calls out to Frodo.

"BE SURE TO GET ME HER BRA THIS TIME!"

Mav then turns off the camera as the promo fades out.