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Cain · **01-12-2015, 09:18 PM**

"Approval ratings are through the roof following your last promo for Wednesday Warfare, Lord Cain." said the horned man who stood before the Messiah of Pain. He was in his early twenties and dressed in a sharp business suit. He looked human for all intents and purposes, save for the yellowish horns protruding from under his raven black, slicked back hair.

Cain steepled his fingers and nodded. "All the denizens of the Underworld, correct Judas?"

"Correct sir, including his Majesty himself. He is looking forward to watching you redeem your loss from last week. That is why he took away the ghosts of your past. He wants you to focus on your...our ultimate goal."

"Refresh my memory, Judas. What is that goal?"

Judas began to explain the rhyme and the reason. "King Alister wishes you to be Lucifer's Messiah. He needs a living being of pure evil to spread his message, which is where the Universal Championship comes in. People listen to the Universal Champion, millions of people every week. Which is why Alister wants you running on all cylinders, Arkham. Not showing mercy and holding back."

If this sounds like an episode of Supernatural, then the narrator apologizes. But Cain had always been in the service of one Alister Crowley. You know the one. The founder of the Church of Satan, where black masses were held quite frequently. One of his figureheads sat there, a smirk plastered on his face which turned into a devilish grin as he thought about the pain he could inflict. "I have a feeling that you or the boss won't have to worry about that anymore, Judas."

"Oh..." the demon started as he took a seat across from Cain. "...we have faith in you, Lord Arkham. Now, if only we could get your former Brotherhood team mate to understand as well. Surely he must have some understanding of..."

"..."عدو عدوي هو صديقي ". "

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Since when do you speak Arabic?"

"I do not recall the chronology of the event. I seem to be garnering more intelligence by the day as well as a desire to learn."

"You're evolving further, Lord Cain. His Majesty will be pleased to hear this."

"I am sure. Returning to your earlier mention of Theo though, what makes you think he would ever trust me again?"

Judas honestly didn't know how to answer that because despite popular belief, demons do not know everything. So, he changed the subject. "Your merchandise is flying off the shelves on Earth, my Lord. People are spending their hard earned Xbux like water!"

The Messiah of Pain closed his eyes, shook his head, and smirked. "Aren't your kind supposed to be all knowing, Judas?"

"Yes my Lord, of course. But everyone down here is really excited about your X-bux royalties."

"I'd just as soon give the merchandise away for free."

Judas blinked. "Sir, as your business manager, I highly advise against that!"

"Why? I'm giving Lucius Fyre a free T-shirt when I am done beating that wanna be to a bloody, vomit stenched pulp. I may even autograph it, I've not decided yet."

"My Lord, you should not forget Patrick Kissinger."

Cain waved off that state. "He can suck my two thousand year old balls." Cain sighed. "Our meetings are boring, Judas. I am afraid that if you do not become entertaining soon, I will have to exercise my demon killing power."

Poor Judas turned white as a ghost and gulped. "Um...don't do that now...if you do that, I'll be stuck in Purgatory. That place sucks ass!"

"I've feelings of neutrality on it, myself."

Get it?

"Right. So what can I do to avoid Purgatory, my lord?"

"It is as I have said, Judas. Enterta-"

A big flat screen on the wall sprung to life, and Cain narrowed his eyes on it. He raised an eyebrow as an unknown face showed up.

Quote:Insert Patrick Kissinger promo here.

Cain looked at Judas after the promo ended.

"What the fuck was that?"

Judas adjusted his sunglasses and cleared his throat. "It appears to be trash talk. I think Patrick noticed you, my Lord."

"I suppose...that I am suppose to respond to this drivel?"

Cain sat there for a moment, an eyeroll given to Judas as he nodded. You see, there was a lot of work involved with being The King of Hell's most prized fighter. Photo shoots with black metal bands, sex romps with "witches", sacrifices on black altars and YES, even responding to the occasional loud mouthed human.

Cain snapped his clawed fingers and a camera crew simply blinked into existence. Cain's mouth turned upward in a devilish grin, and...

On The Air

"Hello Patrick Kissinger. My name is Cain, and I was born just like you. I was born just outside where Eden once stood, as a human. Unlike you, however, I made a deal with a higher power and became this Beast which you so foolhardily ridicule today. The closest thing you will see to the Antichrist in your lifetime, child, is me. Because you see, unlike you, I can not...will not die. That point aside..."

We see Cain's hands go off camera and the next thing you know, a cigar rested between his lips. He flicked a zippo, the flame dancing as he engulfed the tip of the Cuban in it. He puffed on the cigar and blew smoke into the camera.

"...it's like a broken record and you are one of MANY artists singing the exact fucking song. ."

""Oh , Cain underestimating me. I'm gonna bring that up in my promo and hope that it throws him off of his game." Yes, Patrick, I've heard it before. I've heard everything you can imagine, but unlike some people I always bounce back. Did I not ADMIT to making a mistake? Which, you, seem to have saw fit to bring up again. No, Iris never beat me. She pinned my shoulders to the mat, but I beat myself. You know...that mistake we both said I made? I underestimated a woman, because most are good for two things. Fucking and sucking my dick.

Puff Puff. The cherry was aglow as Cain hesitated for a moment. Then, his eyes flashed momentarily as he continued.

"See, you're the one who doesn't understand. For two days, I was out doing promo work because that is my job. You don't understand what that's like though, because you want to sit there at home for a fucking week doing jack shit, and then go in front of the camera at the last second. Oh my Lucifer, You actually thought you could sway my Cainaanites over to your side with one lackluster segment? You idiot, the lighting was horrible, the microphone was too far away, and your wore so much fucking make up you looked like a transvestite hooker from France!"

"So...I'm not underestimating you, Patricia. I'm seeing you for what you truly are. A tranvestite hooker with a big fucking mouth that's going to land your ripped sphincter in hot water. You just sat there and did the exact fucking thing you admonished me for doing, you hypocrite. Case in point..."

Patricia Kissincocks Said:It’s sad, really. How far gone he is.

And then there’s Lucius Fyre.

Truly, what is there to say about him?

That he’s a failure? Well, he is though I’m pretty sure that’s obvious to just about everyone.

He isn’t as smart as he likes to think he is? Again, obvious.

Christ, I can’t think of anything. Thankfully, he’ll never give me a reason to think too hard about him.

"How do you know what Lucius might do? Are you Miss Cleo now? So the evidence of your hypocrisy has been presented to the court, Miss Patricia and it cannot be taken back."

"I commend you for not whining because you lo-" Cain blinked. "-oh well, lookitthat. You lost too. And you didn't even underestimate your opponent, so what's your excuse, bitch? Menstruals?"

"I digress. This Wednesday, Patrick, I'll not be underestimating either of you. Once again I go back to my former point. I see the two of you for what you are, and I *am* sure that whether it be you or Lucius, one of your worthless souls will be feasted upon by this Beast. You have NO FUCKING CLUE of the shitstorm that's about to rain down, tranny."

"I *do* see the two of you for what you are."

The scene suddenly faded to black, and all that could be seen were a set of glowing red eyes. For what seemed like forever, there was silence. Finally, a deep, demonic voice uttered a single word.

"Prey."

-Static-

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