"So, Caroline, you're fucking talking, again? Ok. I guess we can deal with this, if I have to. First and foremost, if I was a shit fetishist, I'd be playing with shit filled condoms, or begging you to shit on my face. Which I didn't do. So, no, I am not a shit fetishist, I just love anal sex. It's not weird, in fact according to a recent survey done by Pornhub, most men in America prefer asses to tits, which would mean they're interested in ass fucking a woman. Some woman love the thought of being assfucked. I believe you're one of them. Now, let's discuss that clip you showed. Now, first and foremost, I know whether or not it's me. I won't divulge, and it doesn't matter. What matters is that that is not an anal fisting, which backs up my point. That is a simple ass punch, thus, I never anally fisted anyone. Even if that was me in the video, and I won't share. Not even my wife knows. I also want to touch on Diaz for a second. Bitch is got multiple personality disorder, or whatever it's called. She's actually got 3 people in her, so she's not actually thinking she's different people, it is different people. Oh, and about your comment about me having a small cock, here's a fun message I received today.
Azrael Said:"I heard that stupid whore you're facing said your dick was small, I don't fuck people with tiny wangs and it's disrespectful to me that she'd think I would waste my time doing such a thing. It's one of the many reasons why The Senator doesn't interest me. The thing he's packing looks like an inch worm sliced in half. His stream of urine is bigger than his cock. Anyway, just thought I'd tell you to inform her that she was horribly wrong and obviously, never eyed your dong because if she had, she would have known it was massive and wonderful."
So, like, I don't know what more I can say. Caroline is cute, but that's about all she has going for her, I guess. I mean, she's rude, inconsiderate, not very bright, and can't beat a dude in a shark costume. Hell, you don't even understand the point of me listing the things I've done. Do you? It's to point out things you could never do. You could never make it through Ghost Tank, Heartsford, Justin Sane, and then face D'Ville. You could never make it past any one of them. Hell, you'd never have made it into round 2. Because, you're just not good enough. But, please, feel free to try and insult the fact that I beat 3 people in one night, and almost the fourth. I'd love to see you try to keep it going.
No, Caroline, see, you brought up me being obsessed, and used that as a fucking example, thus it's a viable target to point out the ignorance on your behalf. Not mine. See, you tried to make a point, it failed, and then you're trying to cover your ass with a fucking bitch ass argument. But, what can you expect from a bitch ass who managed to get pinned when she was in a match that included Joey Hawkins. Yeah, that fucking happened. And she thinks she has any fucking room to discuss anything, ever. Or try and call me a bottom feeder. Baby doll, there's a reason I'm Main Eventing at the Shove it, while you're at the bottom. Has nothing to do with Lane, because I'd be there regardless. You? You're only as high as you are because of Tank.
You do know it's a fucking sexy underwear match, right? You have to dress like a slut for the match. Them's the rules, otherwise you automatically forfeit, and I get to fuck the shit out of you anyway. I mean, there's not a chance you'll be winning anyhow, but if you don't show up in something sexy, you have no shot period. Or, did you think Ozy was going to let you get away with not abiding by the rules you accepted in the first place? Because, that'd just not be like him at all. Oh, and Blood Levels? What levels are we talking about? Is Hugh seeing me and going into a Diabetic Coma? Is his Coumadin count too high? White blood cells too few? Come on, bitch, try and be half as intelligent as you want to act. Take that advice you gave to Darkwynd and tried to rehash with me, and shove it up your ass. Don't try and condescend to me like you've got any fucking room to talk about shit. Fucking ignorant slut.
It's gonna be your birthday? I'm going to kick your ass on your birthday? Man, I'm not going to fuck you on your birthday, but I will fucking jerk my cock to the thought of you after I kick the living shit out of you. It'll be glorious and erotic. I'll make sure to tenderize that ass, so it will be more used to the pounding when I ram my dick so far into it that you're gagging on my pubes. Fucking sexy ass ho."
Frodo is sitting on his sofa watching Creed music videos, because that's totally not weird in the fucking slightest, and Crack comes into the room holding the bunny suit Frodo bought for Caroline.
"This was on my bed. And it's wet."
"Bruh, Creed. Come back later."
"No. We need to talk about this. Are you and Sarah having costume sex in my bed again? And did you leave the costume there, again?"
Frodo paused Creed and looked directly at Crack.
"That was one time, and it wasn't Sarah. It was some Japanese dude named Ichicago or something. He was dressed as Magikarp. What the fuck was I supposed to do?"
"Not wake me up with the sounds of you pounding some 45 year old Asian man's asshole on the pillow next to me. His cum hit me on the cheek!"
"You loved it. You sat there watching the entire thing."
"Because there was an Ostrich on the other side of me that would peck at me if I moved. What would you do?"
"Literally fuck the ostrich. But there was no ostrich. I was there, you were just starring at me. And your hand moved!"
"Because the Ostrich bit me."
"No ostrich. And back to your question. No, Sarah and I didn't have costume sex in your bed. That was the outfit I bought for Caroline to wear to the ring. She's refusing to wear it, so I left it there and cried. She'd look so good in it."
"Eh. If you say so."
"What, you don't think she's pretty?"
"Well, no. She's too hispanic looking for me."
"You fucking racist cracker."
Swagmire popped up from behind the couch holding a Starbucks coffee and a recording device.
"Charles, what are you doing here?"
"Been hiding from Scully. Dude won't stop crying to me. Also, figured I'd catch this racist mother fucker talking racist shit about me."
"Did you?"
"No, but he jerks it on the couch in the morning a lot."
"Yeah, so? We all do."
"Not true. Sarah and I have sex in the kitchen. If we don't do that, then I jerk off at the kitchen table."
"Nigga, that's nasty. Anyway, this cracker doesn't like hispanic girls. That's racist."
"No, it's not. I just don't find them attractive. I prefer Asians or Blondes."
"Blondes like Katie?"
"Yeah, Crack likes me. We all know it."
Katie walks into the living room holding a sandwich she just made, in the kitchen.
"The fuck you doing here?"
"I live here."
"That's a good point. She lives here, you're the one popping up accusing me of racism. A lovely sentiment from the man who once shat in my car because I had given a black girl a ride the day before."
"That wasn't me!"
"Yes it was. I was asleep in the back, he fucked this black girl in the front seat, dropped her off, and went home. I kept sleeping in the back, you came over asked him to give you a ride somewhere. He agreed, you said you smelled 'Darkie', and shat on the seat telling him you had improved the car. Then you called a cab, and wrote him a ticket."
"Oh yeah. Did you ever pay the ticket?"
"No. Because it was on the back of Burger King receipt."
Swagmire whipped a pair of Handcuffs seemingly out of nowhere, handed Katie his coffee, slapped the cuffs on Crack, and slammed him against the wall.
"I am making a citizen's arrest on you. Failure to pay a fine is a crime!"
He forced Crack out of the house, and into the back of his Lincoln before driving off. Frodo just unpaused Creed and began to jerk off. Katie turned and ran away as soon as he undid his pants.
"Bye, baby girl. If you see Sarah tell her I need a hand."
"How about a fin?"
Sarah walks into the living room in a giant shark costume.
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