Roxy Cotton is standing in her small bathroom with the door open, wearing nothing more than a skimpy pair of lacy panties. Her cell phone is nearby, playing the dulcet tones of Amy Winehouse loud enough for Roxy to hear over the cacophony of her handheld hair dryer.

As she sings along, teasing her platinum locks into a wild bouffant, “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane enters the apartment completely unnoticed due to the noise.

As Loverboy slowly realizes that Roxy can’t hear him at all, he stands back and watches his angelic fiancée as she alternates between using the dryer for its intended use and using it as a makeshift microphone, singing into the jet of air as it lifts her blonde, feathery hair in a halo around her head.

Loverboy sets the few bags of brown liquor bottles he’s apparently retrieved from his trip to the store onto the soft, shag carpeting, then does his best spy movie sneak up behind Roxy. At the last second, she sees him in the mirror, all smiles and laughs, and spins around in her topless glory, holding the hair dryer out in front of her like a glock in a Spike Lee movie – sideways and everything.

“Hold it right there, buster!”

“Whoa, chica, cool your jets, man, I’m not here to violate your rights… though a quick violation does seem pretty fun for such an important night.”

Roxy melts her body into Loverboy’s arms, pressing her lips against his and getting lost for a few seconds before pushing back and playfully teasing Loverboy’s hair with the dryer.

“What’s wrong sugar? Need more time to practice that depressing ass song? Let’s get a little dirty!”

“No time, baby. I wish.”

“Not even a quick stop and frisk?”

“Baby… does it look like I’m hiding any contraband anywhere?”

Roxy sets the hair dryer down, shutting it off, and does a sexy little pirouette for Loverboy. There’s definitely no place for her to be hiding anything.

“See?”

“I don’t know, miss… I think you need a full cavity search!”

Loverboy grabs Roxy’s hips, lifting her from her perfectly painted toes and setting her rear end on the sink top. Her legs open invitingly, and Loverboy immediately slides between her golden thighs, sending his tongue into a full deep sea expedition into her eager mouth. Quickly, though, Roxy’s eyes pop open and she breaks away from him.

“Ow!”

“What? You like it when I bite you!”

“The fucking hair dryer, Vinnie! Damn it!”

Roxy jumps off of the sink, rubbing her hand against the plump roundness of her right ass cheek as a tiny puff of smoke rises from the metal mesh at the front of the dryer. Roxy’s lips purse into a gleaming red pout and she hops up and down on the balls of her feet while whimpering.

Loverboy wets the tips of his fingers with a kiss and rubs them against her wounded butt, holding her close and tender… then giving the burn a crisp swat.

“Asshole!”

Roxy shoves Loverboy away and walks out of the bathroom, rubbing her tender hindquarter and giving Loverboy a look that could melt cast iron, both with heat and also with sex appeal. Even angry, this girl manages to excite every hair on Loverboy’s body and bring them to standing attention.

“Aw, Roxy, I’m just playing, baby!”

Loverboy follows Roxy out of the bathroom and mocks begging for forgiveness. Unable to stay mad at her knight in shining armor for longer than a moment at a time, Roxy laughs at his over-the-top façade. Still, though, when Loverboy attempts to move in for another ninja kiss she blocks him and shakes a finger in his face.

“No, no, no, Vinnie… we have to get ready. The club opens tonight, this means a lot to me!”

“Get ready? Baby, I’m ready! Look at me, dude, it’s you that’s still running around naked. Which is totally cool, by the way.”

While speaking, Loverboy backs away and raises his arms to his sides, showing his muscular biceps and triceps as he flexes them and smiles. He winks and looks down to where the Dokken shirt he’s wearing has ridden up, exposing his flat midsection over his jeans’ waistband.

“Check that cut out, baby. That muscle line pointing from my side to my junk. What did you call that?”

“Your Adonis belt.”

“Exactly. Look at that Adonis belt. I’m totally ready to rock “Love on the Rox” for its opening night, baby!”

Roxy looks stunned. She holds her hands out to Loverboy as if expecting him to understand what she means without vocalizing it.

“Yeah? Hot right?”

“Yeah, Vinnie, you’re hot, but tonight is opening night, baby! You have to change! Put on that button up and the suede blazer I got you.”

“What? “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane doesn’t have to dress to impress, baby. I’m a megastar. This is my look!”

“Vinnie. You can still look like a rock star, just like always. Wear the leather pants and the kickass motorcycle boots, too. You’ll be the sexiest man in the building by a mile.”

“Uh, I’d be the sexiest man in the building without wearing a thing, baby.”

“ESPECIALLY without wearing a thing, Vinnie.”

Loverboy goes in for another kiss, but is stonewalled once again. He flattens his mouth and looks down at her exposed chest like a starving dog in a biscuit factory.

“Okay, fine. I’ll change. But then I get to squeeze those epic sweater puppets of yours for a solid minute. Deal?”

Roxy rolls her eyes and smirks.

“Fine, Vinnie. Sixty more seconds on top of the two hours you had last night, and the bonus hour this morning. Now go change! Hurry!”

Roxy vanishes into the bedroom, mostly shutting the door behind her but allowing a small crack so Loverboy can still see her bending over to retrieve her dress and heels. After a second, Loverboy shakes it off and walks to the living area, looking for the garment bags he knew he’d seen there earlier.

“Baby? Where’s that weird jacket at anyway?”

From inside the bedroom, Roxy pokes her face out, smiling.

“Over by the desk, Vinnie. By where you always toss the mail. Can you zip me real quick though?”

Never one to waste a chance to get closer to his beloved bombshell, Loverboy struts over and zips the dress’s zipper up Roxy’s slender back, plating a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck as he does.

“My hero.”

“The man of your dreams, baby.”

With that, Loverboy returns to the seeking the garment bags, spying them across the room and just over the cluttered desk in the corner, as Roxy had said. He grabs at the bag, but in so doing knocks over a stack of letters.

Whistling to the tune of “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” Loverboy ducks down to grab the letters he knocked over. He peruses each one briefly before moving to place the small stack back on the desktop, but at the last second, one of them catches his eye.

“What the fuck? My Choice Medical Center?"

Loverboy pulls out his cell phone and swipes in the necessary commands to successfully Google the name of the medical center, dropping the envelope in shock and nearly falling over backwards, if not for the wall being so close behind him.

“An… abortion clinic?”

He doesn’t see that Roxy has emerged from the bedroom, dressed impeccably in the sparkling, low-cut purple minidress and translucent stiletto heels. She steps toward him, her heel clicking on the floor and getting Loverboy’s attention.

“Vinnie…”

Her voice causes Loverboy’s head to snap towards her, moisture accumulating in his eyes.

“I can explain.”




Later that night, Loverboy and Roxy are entertaining guests among the packed house in their new gentlemen’s club, “Love on the Rox.” Loverboy actually pulls off the suede blazer pretty well, looking like a cross between an Interview With the Vampire cast member and Bret Michaels from Rock of Love. Probably due to the rhinestone bedazzled pink bandanna and the fact that he’s always been the sort of guy to wear sunglasses inside a dark bar.

Though they are both in attendance together, they seem miles apart rather than the few dozen feet that they actually are, surrounded each by adoring fans.

From one corner of the room to the other, Roxy looks toward Loverboy, her eyes yearning to meet his as he signs autograph after autograph. The sinking in her heart not matching the clamor of the hard rock music pumping through the speakers, the nearly nude women swinging on poles, or the ever-present sound of cash registers ringing in hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

“Heyyyy, you’re Roxy Cotton, right?”

The high pitched, nasal voice brings Roxy back from her daydream where, for just a second, she thought she had seen Loverboy’s sky-blue eyes looking back at her.

Looking down, Roxy sees a pretty girl smiling back up at her with overly white veneers, an orange spray tan and the worst peroxide job Roxy’d seen since she accidentally taken the 405 into the valley.

Clearing her head, Roxy put on her game face and replied to the eager girl.

“Yes… hi. Welcome to the club! Are you interested in working as a dancer?”

The girl recoiled like she’d been slapped. The up-and-down sneer she gave Roxy let her know all she needed to of this girl’s opinions on exotic dancers.

“Uh… no. I have class. You’re “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane’s girlfriend though, right?”

Roxy raises her gaze just in time to see Loverboy looking away, clearly avoiding her. She stares a moment too long and the girl gets impatient, sighing loudly.

“Hello? I want to meet him. So… you ARE, right?”

Again, Roxy looks across the dark, smoky room, watching Loverboy hide his eyes behind the sunglasses even though the club had barely any visibility to begin with. Of course she knew she wouldn’t be seeing those eyes of his tonight.

But would she ever?

“I… I don’t know.”