Shortly after the Asylum ceremony, I got another letter from my mystery blackmailer. This was… letter number three now? I drew my letter opener across the envelope, leaving the contents all for my eyes to ponder over now.

Success, my dear pupil! I watched your ceremony with the Asylum. Very good, very good. Now, that’s only one piece of the puzzle. Now, you have to show that you’re still worth something there. Now, your match on Madness? Forget about it. Make sure that scrub, Adrian Storms, can’t even walk down that entrance ramp. I’ll leave that for you to decipher. Do what you need to do.

No, the match I’m more concerned with is your match against the Deadpool- wannabe, Gator. I know you have your Brother Ghost Tank there, but from the looks of things, the jolly green Asperger’d giant, as your Brother Frodo refers to Ghost Tank sometimes, Ghost Tank may very well be hanging you high and dry here. After all, while you may not have an excuse that your filming stuff is not here yet (P.S. it’s the package I also sent you), Ghost Tank has an able- bodied cameraman, and obviously is spending a lot of time on his Madness opponent, the Television Champion himself, the Aerial Knight, and so, he may be leaving this one up to you.

So, your immediate task? Just cut a trash talk promo. Simple, crude, yet very effective. Just leave your opponent stumbling right out of the gate. Gator already has a head start, though I already sighted more than a few mistakes in his promo. Though, you should be fine. So fine, that I am expecting you to pull out with a win. And if you lose? I do believe you know the answer to that, Mister Underwood. Farewell for now.

I sat there staring wide- eyed at the paper. If there was any motivation to do well for Warfare now, I had it. I didn’t need to worry about my Madness opponent, Adrian Storms either. From the looks of things, I doubt my mysterious blackmailer doesn’t even WANT to see a match between me and Storms. So, that should leave me ample time to construct something.

Sure enough, my mysterious blackmailer did leave a package for me. I hoped I could see this guy- or girl’s- name, but all I got in terms of a name and an address was just the letter U. I doubt that’ll take much skill to figure out what U is short for.

Nevertheless, a camera and tripod, he did give me, and a damn good one at that. Now having a way to get some stuff up for the XWF site, I hooked up the camera to the tripod.

I already had my trash talk ammo ready, as Gator actually had made plenty of mistakes. I pressed record, then sat down in a nearby chair.

“So. So so so. Here I am. Less than one week after laying out all three Trios champions- in which the unofficial leader just so happens to be the Universal Champion, you’d think I’d be getting a tougher challenge than this, right? Nope. Instead, I face the guy who was stripped of his Television title due to injury, Gator. Now, Gator, you seem to think that you’re that White Knight, ready to dethrone the king in Hysteria, by knocking out his soldiers one by one. I admit, beating Mick Manson and Frodo did take quite a bit of skill, but I’m afraid the knight will be killed dead in his tracks, since I am the dark dragon, bound to be the knight- crusher for eternity.

“It seems as though my partner is incapable of bothering himself with the assclown known as you, Gator, so I’ll just take the loins here. I mean, you say I pester Tank to be my partner, even though it was one simple question. He complied afterwards. The way you make things seem, you make it seem like I’m that annoying little kid who keeps begging his daddy for that lollipop, even though that’s you in that scenario. You see, YOU were the one who were begging us for a handicap match. I wanted to face you one- on- one, but you pushed and pushed and pushed. I mean, I was trying to take pity on you. You wouldn’t have stood a chance against me normally, let alone just getting out of the hospital. But no, you insisted on having Tank be on my side too. Now this match right here? It’s going to be nothing short of being convicted of the third degree for me and Tank. Because they’ll be wiping you off the floor, piece by piece. And your girl will pick up that mask, as they take you away, mask less for the first time. Your girl- Scarlett, I believe her name was? I think that’s her name as she was the only thing that stood out in your bore- fests of promos. Excluding the dog, I mean, who doesn’t like that dog? But I digress. When Scarlett picks up that mask, that final remaining remnant of you, she’ll ask herself, ‘Why Jacob? Why must you hide yourself behind a mask? I was hoping to see you, the real you, just once. But now? You’re gone.’ And she’ll throw the mask, flying across the winds of the world.

“That is what will happen. Like I said, nothing short of the third degree. Now, you say I look like some fucker, what was his name again? Moe Syszlak? Something like that? Nevertheless, I’ve been told a couple times I look like Seth Rollins while he was out in the indies, but not Moe Syszlak. That one’s a new one. I admit Gator, when I’m finished with you, I’ll miss you, despite the fact I’ve been in here for only what, two weeks? I’ll miss that cheeky demeanor, the fact you mean shit, I mean, it’s all just a laugh. The only thing you have that means shit is that you won the Television title and held it for a goddamn long time. But that’s not the point now. Last time I checked, you don’t defend titles in handicap matches.

“See, now here’s how it’s going to go. Bell rings. You get a one- second head start. And someone better document that too, since that’s the last time people will see you alive and well. Then? It is as I said earlier- nothing short of the third degree. Chairs shall fly. Tables shall break. You will not be coming out the same man, even if you manage to get Ghost Tank out. Because even if you do that, you still have another man waiting to take you out- ME. And I’m not playing around. You see, my dear Deadpool- wannabe, I’m taking this federation to a whole new level of intensity, drive, and determination. The Recruiter of the Higher Power shall claim his first victim on Wednesday- and Gator? I’d say Rest in Peace, but that line’s been overdone to death, as ironic as that statement is. How about a new one? Rest… in… shambles…”

The camera fades to black.