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Agony · (03-25-2013)

At Mary Washington Hospital Dr. Roberts sits in the psych ward watching the clinically insane, pondering. Thinking if there even is a cure to insanity. Dr. Roberts begins to think to himself.

Dr. Roberts: "Look at them, they're savages. They've lost all sense of being, they don't know what they do or who they hurt. How can these people become normal again? They're too far gone."

Dr. Roberts grabs a cuban from his pocket and lights it up.

Dr. Roberts: "Ahhh, I know this isn't my field of expertise but I can't help but wonder. Why do we give these people pills and tell them they'll be alright so long as they take them. They'll never be alright. They've lost their humanity. No amount of medicine can bring that back."

Dr. Roberts takes a long drag.

Dr. Roberts: "Maybe we just do it because we hope that we're right. Maybe we just try to give them hope, and think that's enough. Maybe it is. We give them a few pills to turn them into zombies and lock them up and watch what they do. They'll never hurt anyone, but they'll never experience life again. This field is such bullshit."

Roberts blows a cloud of smoke. He stares into the cloud and thinks deeply.

Dr. Roberts: "I tell you what, guys like Kyle still have a chance. Kyle, or Agony as he calls himself, is still himself on the inside. Sure somebody else is with him in that fucked up head of his but he's still there. He still reasons, he doesn't need any help. Hell he's probably the most badass wrestler in the world. Yes, there's still hope for that kid. All he needs is..."

And then suddenly it hits Dr. Roberts!

Dr. Roberts: "Kyle doesn't need anti psychotics or any suppressants to become himself again. No, all he needs is to believe that Tommy is gone. That's it! If only there was a part of him that he associated with Tommy that I could take away from him. Maybe that would get rid of this 'Wrestling Messiah' personality for good..."

Meanwhile in the locker room, Agony stands before a mirror and looks into his own eyes.

Agony: "When I look into my eyes I don't see a cannibal, a masochist or a psychopath. I see myself, I see myself trapped behind this veil of insanity. If only I could take this veil off. Then I'd be myself again.

Agony reaches up to his face and touches his mask. Wrestling Messiah takes over.

Messiah: "Enough of this petty reminiscing Agony, there isn't a cure to our insanity. We have a match tonight, it's time to get ready. Wipe that blood off of our chin, we don't want them to know we did it again.

Agony: "Why do we do all of this Messiah?"

Messiah: "Because we can, and there isn't anybody out there that can stop us."

The camera zooms in on the mirror and Agony begins to speak.

Agony: "Neil, Neil, Neil, I was wondering when I'd see you again. It seems our paths are indefinitely intertwined. Neil you say you've beaten me twice, true you've won two measly matches against me. Let me ask you Neil, where do you live? On the streets!? Oh my! I have a house, that's one win for me. Oh you're a backyard wrestler!? That's great! So that means you know about as many moves as Cena. Does this sound familiar?

"Chair shot! Kick to the gut! Oh my god is he going to do an actual wrestling move!? Nope just another chair shot. Oh look a ladder." What's that noise? That's the sound of crickets my friend, but I'm sure you're used to that.

That's the extent of your in ring skill. Hell, you probably learned to wrestle from fighting hobos for the last bread crumb. You're a joke Neil! I'm an actual wrestler, not some backyard piece of shit like Jeff Hardy. That's another win for me. Oh you have a job! Good for you, so do I. That's a win for both of us, but after tonight you'll be out of a job for sure. Unless we start hiring quadriplegics. That puts us at an even three to three doesn't it. I guess that makes tonight the tie breaker.

Ursula Areano, you say you're the next big thing. Of all the taglines you could possibly steal you chose to steal from the most overrated piece of crap, next to John Cena, this industry has ever seen. Brock Lesnar, he certainly left his skidmark on the WWE, the piece of shit. I guess it fits though doesn't it Ursula?

Now, now, to be fair, Brock Lesnar actually went out there and wrestled. He was a phenomenal wrestler wasn't he? Much like you however, there wasn't a brain cell to be found on that behemoth. He just went out there every night and did his thing, but my god if he ever got his hands on a mic. Talk about a pipebomb, he was horrible! Again I see why you chose Brock. You two have a lot in common.

You talk about me being the crazy one. Who's crazier? The man running around eating people and talking to his split personality? Or the one stupid enough to antagonize him? Your move, Queen."

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