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**Vincent Lane** · **12-06-2014, 02:46 PM** "Loverboy" - Words Chosen. -->

Hey there, Justin… I caught your promo earlier. Good stuff, dude.

Sitting around, drinking, and making out with hot chicks is always a good time, you know? I mean, it’s something that I do constantly, and it’s maybe a little weird that as soon as you get… what would you call it? Fixated? Yeah, fixated. On me. Then all of a sudden you start behaving like me. Weird.

At this rate, dude, you’ll be wearing cheetah print spandex and doing jumping splits on your way to the ring while that nappy jew ‘fro of yours grows out to a full on Krokus mane. We could be a cool pair, really.

See I think that’s the thing that keeps sticking in the back of my mind, man. I’ve been thinking a lot about it since my last promo, and I kinda want to take most of it back.

I know, I know, it doesn’t really work that way. But, dude, I was just trying to do the typical macho wrestler yells at other wrestler bullshit that we always do every week, you know? I was getting in the zone, man, I know you can sympathize there.

Dude, the simple truth of the matter is this… I like you, man. No, not in that gay Frodo way, relax. I just think you’re a cool dude. Yeah, you came into the fed all hot and bothered, thinking you were gonna change the world, and yeah, sometimes you revert to that tired old “voices in my head” gimmick that every damn body tries at some point in their pro graps career, but that’s just rookie shit. You’ll grow out of it. And when you do, dude, you’ve got a ton of talent. That red arrow through the table on Scully was a thing of beauty. If it were any more pitch perfect you might have seen Lana in the background of it, you know?

But I saw something in you from the beginning, man, I swear. That’s why it sucked that we were on different teams in War Games. I knew you and me, we could tear the house down with your raw, uncivilized power and ability, and my brains, good looks, charm, class, skill, training… well, you get the idea. Imagine what the landscape of the XWF would look like right now if you and me had been in that main event, getting our hands raised as winners TOGETHER, man? I’d have probably given you one of those Trios belts instead of Pete, and then I for sure wouldn’t have ended up losing them to the fucking Kings.

Hell, we could have gone for the tag straps too. I bet we could have taken them from Kendall and Azrael, and we definitely could beat this “next level meta” guy that’s sitting in Azzy’s old spot. That’s a no brainer. I bet with me in your corner you’d have put on a better show at the King of the Ring, and you definitely would have won that TV title match. Remember – I know how to beat Gator. I’ve done it.

We could have been unstoppable, dude. And then you’d have gotten to be in my corner when I take the Universal Title from Theo. Can you imagine that, man? Some rough around the edges rookie like you being involved in a match like that? The sheer magnitude of a Theo vs. Loverboy main event is enough to skyrocket PPV buyrates on its own, and you’d have been all over it, man.

But you made a choice, dude. You went a different way. Even after I showed you my respect by offering up that 6,000 X-bux to sponsor you, you wanted to hang out with Evertrust. I get it, man, he was the hot thing on the block for a minute there. But you didn’t even talk to me about it, man. I could have told you that the only reason Evertrust was even in the fed was because of me. Yeah, that’s right, dude. Me. Your big hero Trust only even walked through those doors to fuck with me after I vanquished his Crimson Face avatar. Yeah man, he caught me off guard and stole the X-Treme Championship from me, and I never got the chance to make it right before he up and disappeared again. So you can maybe say he got one over on me, and people would totally agree with you I bet, but the simple fact remains that without “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane, there never would have BEEN a TrustInsanity.

I was on your side from the get-go, dude. I was all about this Justin Sane kid, and you let me down. You kinda broke my heart, dude. And a Loverboy with a broken heart is bad news, man. Well, bad news for you, anyway. Good news for the fans of Monday Madness who get to see their hero, the man of their dreams, show the wannabe what a superkick is REALLY supposed to look like.

Face it man, and it honestly seems like maybe you have, based on some of what you said to your second-rate Waffle House waitress there, you aren’t on my level. I’m the main event, man. I’m the megastar. I’ve taken on the biggest names the XWf has got. Azrael, Samuels, Pryce, Duke, MacAlister, Morbid, Luca, Gilmour… How did those matches go? Why don’t you find Griffin yourself and ask him, dude, no one’s seen him anywhere but on milk cartons since I put him down. He had tears in his eyes at the end, man. Like he knew it was over but couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

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I can keep naming them, dude. I’ve beaten guys you’ve lost to, like Gator, and soon you'll get to see what I can do to Frodo, too. Two guys who completely outclassed and outdid you at every turn, and I'm their equal. Their better. How does that make you feel, dude?

Hey baby, what are you doing?

Roxy! Damn it, dude, I’m recording my promo for Justin Sane.

Oh! Hi Justin! Your girlfriend’s pretty! Does she need a job as a dancer? I can hook you up!

Roxy!

Sorry, baby…

What are you talking about anyway? Dancers?

Yeah, we’ll talk about it later. I have a really good idea for a business investment and I think you’ll be down with it. Come see me after you get done talking poor Justin into suicide, okay baby?

Alright, alright…. Damn, girl, let a man work.

Anyway.

Justin. Dude. Like I said, forget all that crap I said about you last time. I was being a dick. I got a new roommate, and I hadn’t had my cock sucked in hours. HOURS, dude. I know you’re probably used to that, but once you get a real girl like Roxy in your life, you get used to a certain level of sexual activity, you know?

So yeah, I think you can fight. I know you’re a big, young dude with more talent than you know what to do with. I noticed you, way up here at the top of the mountain while you’ve been busy slumming it with Scully. I saw your potential, and I saw you fall apart without someone like me there to help you achieve your full growth.

Maybe after this week, when you see where your career has gotten to with Evertrust as your cornerman, you’ll see the light. Maybe we can work something out, dude, who knows? Bring a notebook and write down all the things you learn in the ring with me, and then you’ll be a little closer to ready for the big time, the bright lights, the big stage…

Hey Vinnie.

GOD DAMN IT!

What?

I’m trying to record a promo for my match and you guys keep interrupting!

Vinnie you’ve been in the bathroom for an hour! I’ve really gotta pee, and Roxy said if she caught me trying to go in the kitchen sink again she’d hit me!

Fuck, Todd, what do you want me to do, dude? I’m almost done, man, give me like five minutes…

No way, man, I’ve been waiting! I’m gonna pee my pants!

Dude!

Just make room, I’ll just pee and leave, I won’t talk. Slide over.

Ah, no, shit, Todd! I’ve seen enough of your unnaturally huge cock already today, dude. I’ll wrap it up, five seconds, I swear.

Fine. Five seconds. Then it comes out.

JUSTIN SANE… you better get ready for Monday, dude! I’m the match you’ve been afraid would happen since you got here, and now it’s happening. You’ve got plenty to think about and plenty of decisions to make… you better choose wisely!

Okay, time's up…

I’m leaving! I’m leaving! Shit…

Ahhhhhh….

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