Luca Flynn

Marka Arzegotti

Why are you both the same to me?

Why are you both so equal in this contest that I can mix, match, and improve upon your names without a second thought?

It's because you're both exactly the same -- and I don't mean that shit as a compliment to Luca; it's an insult to Marka.

-Luca Flynn and Marka Arzegotti: Two pieces of shit who couldn't tell a story in the ring if their lives depended on it. We've got one who has enjoyed moderate success while mainly competing on Shove It Saturday Night and then we have another who has enjoyed much success because he knows to keep his ass on Wednesday Warfare where they are a little more strict about what can and can't be done. You can't march down to the ring on Warfare and cut somebody's arm off, beat them with it, and then shove it up their asshole. That sort of thing is reserved for, appropriately enough, Shove It.

Luca Flynn and Marka Arzegotti both suffer from the inability to go above and beyond when, week after week, all they do is make people wonder when they'll finally injure themselves in the ring and be off of their televisions for good. Both of them seem to think they're actually good at something ... what was it again? Ah yes! Talking shit!

In fact, wasn't it Luca Flynn who recently asked us all if we're wondering "how he's so damn good at that shit?" or something along those lines? Or was that Marka Arzegotti who asked that? At any rate, yes, we're all wondering just how in the fuck you're both so good at coasting along on your separate shows and still able to keep collecting paycheck after paycheck. You guys talk shit about an opponent and then you just walk into the ring to roll the dice and see if the luck of the draw is enough to gain a win over the opponent.

In the case of the one who performs on Warfare -- it's always good enough because, again, that's Warfare. The only other person on Warfare who is even a remote threat would be Angelus and that's why Warfare's copy of Marka Luca has been engaged in a heated rivalry with the man for what seems like a damned eternity now. I remember watching that shit before I even arrived on the scene and asking myself when they'd stop 1-downing each other constantly. That's right; instead of 1-upping each other week after week they just keep proving to one another how shitty they are when they fail to take the other out in any convincing fashion what so ever.

Do you think it's just a random coincidence that Angelus won't set foot on Shove It when he's got a title that's always on the line? Shit; if that boy stepped foot onto Shove It grounds he'd lose that title faster than Flynn can lose an audience when he starts mumbling on using ridiculous words nobody else uses because everyone who watches wrestling is too fucking stupid to know those words. Why use that shit just for the sake of using it but proving less of a point in doing so? When I hear one of his long, drawn out sentences about how this "something or other" is a "some crazy shit" with a "whatever the fuck" or a "who gives a fuck" -- do you know what I do? I don't grab my dictionary if he manages to use a word I haven't heard another human being ever use; no no; I grab my remote and I send it flying through the television set just like every other onlooker would do if they could afford to destroy television set after television set.

I wonder what wonderful, elaborate, stick up the ass words he'll have for me after this? Clearly the Flynn route will be to claim I suffer from the same lack of intelligence he's already been implying I have just because I don't grab dictionaries, thesauruses, and school text books to reference when I'm shooting a promo. Who the fuck does he think he's impressing with his long winded, overbearing dog shit each week before he steps into the ring with easy wins?

I'd love to see Luca Flynn and Marka Arzegotti switch shows for a month. I guarantee the exact performances switch right with them. The one on Warfare goes up against people he either beats easily, or narrowly escapes defeat by; meanwhile, the one on Shove It begins to have a much more sporadic record because about half or three quarters of the Shove It roster is actually more talented in the ring than him. Why don't you guys try it? I mean, you're on the same team this week for christ's sake; give it some thought. I'd wager to bet that most of the fans and even the in-ring performers wouldn't notice jack shit has changed! All Luca Flynn from Shove It would need to do before he crosses over is cut his hair and punch himself in the face a few more times and they'll be thinking he's good old Marka Arzegotti over on Warfare.

No problem at all there.

The real problem would be with Marka Arzegotti crossing over to Shove It because he'd suddenly be eaten alive and his own ego wouldn't allow for that to happen in his "reality" -- a faraway land not resembling anything even similar to the same reality the rest of us live in. That boy would start taking losses right off the bat because this isn't the same fucking show that Impact used to be which he seems to love bragging about having a lucky streak on. Good job; you've got some wins under your belt back when this show was named after a TNA product and was basically a joke because guys like me weren't on it yet.

Here's one -- let's here you start listing the names you've beaten on Impact before it became Shove It. Oh, but don't forget to only list the credible names because I'm dying to hear them. I'm going to guess it'll be somewhere between 0 and 3 names and even the ones he deems as credible will be questionable as fuck.

Here's an even better one -- let's here the list of credible names you've beaten on Warfare since you like to brag about your stats? What are the credible stats? Have you beaten shit head assholes like John Madison? He might be a pathetic excuse for a human being but I'm willing to bet you'd fail in that endeavor. What about Donathan De Sade? Of course not; you'd rather kiss his fucking ass and go hang at his mansion so there's a slightly less chance he drugs the living fuck out of you in our match and turns you into his mindless zombie. Who else? Have you beaten any of the substantial names in the XWF who compete on Warfa-

-oh shit; nevermind. I almost forgot they don't compete there. How could I be so quick to forget that when I just got through talking about how Angelus is the only one even close to a valid name and even he can't be stopped by you? He has a 24/7 title! He's not only managed to keep it long enough right under your nose so that he earned a briefcase but he even stole your title and was running around with it for what seemed like eons. The man with a 24/7 title was able to never have it threatened by you, but turn around and take your non-24/7 title.

Keep bragging, Flynn.

Keep bragging.

I'll bet you'll even brag again after I sabotage my own team and hand Donathan the win this weekend, right? You do know that's what's going to happen right? I'm going to stay in this match just long enough to fuck up a few deserving parties and when Donathan gives me the signal it's going to be the end of the line for my shitty fucking team because not a damn one of them is worth sharing a victory with. I'd rather take a loss myself than share a win with any of them so there you have your next bragging right, you malignant tumor -- brag about how Mister Mystery was nice enough to not cash his briefcase in on you (yet) and handed you a win so you could continue a plagiarized streak that hasn't seen an impressive victory, by your own hand alone, in ever.

See you out there, Marka.