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Phillip Pagoda · **11-22-2014, 10:42 AM**

Welcome to the third edition of XWF's 'The Pagoda Report.' I am your host, Phillip Pagoda. Today we are discussing everything from Warfare to Shove It to a Madness that has YET to post the records of the event! The X-Treme 25 will judge work from the last two Warfares, last two Madnesses, and Shove It. This will happen every TWO weeks dissecting what has transpired and where everyone ranks. Will you disagree with me? I'm sure you shall. Alas, this is according to my rubric. I also have an interview portion that will wrap up 'The Pagoda Report.' Now... let's get started shall we?

Universal Championship
Champion: Theo Pryce

1. Eli James IV
2. Peter Gilmour
3. Doctor Louis D’Ville
4. John Samuels
5. Maverick

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World Tag Team Championship
Champions: Kendall Sawyer & ???

1. ‘Feminine Wiles’ – Jill Lorter & Satoko
2. ‘The Hidden Order’ – JACK & Mr. WG.WF/Pest
3. ‘The Asylum’ – Hysteria & Mickey Manson
4. ‘TrustInsanity’ – Evertrust & Justin Sane
5. ‘Hope & Honor’ – LH Harrison & The Aerial Knight

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X-Treme Championship
Champion: Mastermind

1. Doctor Louis D’Ville
2. Maverick
3. TJ Wallace
4. Avery Martin Alden
5. The Horseman

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Television Championship
Champion: Gator

1. The Aerial Knight
2. Scully
3. Calypso
4. Darkwynd
5. Monolith

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Trios Championship
Champion: 'The Three Kings' -- Theo Pryce & John Madison & John Samuels

1. ‘The Asylum’ – Hysteria & Mickey Manson & Frodo Smackins
2. ‘The Corporation’ – Scully & Swagmire & Mr. WG.WF/Pest
3. ‘TrustInsanity’ – Evertrust & Crimson Face & Justin Sane
4. ‘The Kliq’ – Diesel & Razor Ramon & Shawn Michaels
5. ‘Maverick & Friends’ – Maverick & Leon Cage & Dustin Cage

The X-Treme 25

1. Mastermind

2. Theo Pryce

3. Doctor Louis D’Ville

4. John Madison

5. ‘Loverboy’ Vinnie Lane

6. John Samuels

7. Peter Gilmour

8. Morbid Angel

9. Gator

10. Frodo Smackins

11. Hysteria

12. Azrael Erebus

13. Swagmire

14. TJ Wallace

15. Justin Sane

16. Calypso

17. Avery Martin Alden

18. The Horseman

19. Ghost Tank

20. Brock Lesnar

21. Scully

22. Maverick

23. Darkwynd

24. Monolith

25. JACK

Match of the Weeks

Trios Championship: 'Loverboy' Vinnie Lane, Morbid Angel, & Peter Gilmour vs. Theo Pryce, John Samuels, & John Madison

Wrestler of the Weeks

Mastermind

Promo of the Weeks

John Samuels's 'Baking With Peter'

Welcome to the interview portion of The Pagoda Report! I am your always lovely and always cheerful host, Phillip Pagoda. Today I am joined by what seems to be a man of misfortune and oppression as of late. Please join me in welcoming 'Loverboy' Vinnie Lane. Hello Mr. Lane, how are you doing today?

Rockin' and rollin', dude, just like always!

That's great to see! Especially considering all of the events that have transpired in the last week or two. Speaking of, where have you been this last week? Seems like we didn't see much of the Rocker?

Hey, you know what, man, even the best need a break now and then... I had a hell of a week you know? And I was less than a second away from it probably being the best week anyone could ever claim to have had in the XWF's history! I took out Griffin MacAlister, Peter Gilmour and Morbid Angel... and I almost beat John Samuels, Theo Pryce and John Madison. You know anyone else who can say they did all that within seven days, dude?

Well the match with Mr. Gilmour and Mr. Angel was a few weeks before, but I don't think anyone can question the kind of month that are having for sure! You did bring up several of my next questions however. Griffin MacAlister. What was it like to go up against one of the premier veterans here at XWF?

I'll tell you one thing about Griffin... that dude can take a beating! I don't think I've ever had to go as extreme as I did with him to put him down for a three count, dude. But I knew all week I'd be the winner, you know? You put me one on one against anyone and keep the rest of the roster from getting involved and you can bet on me every time, man.

Well it's nice you seem so confident about yourself, but yes it seemed like a foregone conclusion that you would be winning that match before the bell even rang. Now, you also brought up Mr. Peter Gilmour and Mr. Morbid Angel. How was it working with such a large duo of legends in the XWF?

Well dude, the two of them are both awesome, man, no doubt. That's why I hand picked them to be my Trios partners after all. The problem was though, they don't work too well together, you know? You watch that match and you see them getting pissed at each other. It gave me the upper hand when I shouldn't have had one, man. I thought that I could hold it together as a three man team, be the bridge between them in a way, dude, but it didn't work out in the end. Those are two guys I definitely have a ton of respect for though, dude, they just maybe don't feel the same way about each other!

Yes it did seem like there was animosity between the two men. Was it harder getting them on the same page for the trios match or defeating them both as a unit a few weeks prior?

That's a good question, man... those two dudes put a lot of hurt on me in that match, but I paid attention and I took advantage of the mistakes I saw. Physically, there was no way for me to stack up to those two on my own, though. As far as the title match? Well, I tried, dude. I spent those two weeks talking to the guys separately and together, tried to make a bond happen, you know? But when you're three of the most targeted stars in the company, man, it's tough to get any momentum going your way.

You aren't wrong about being the most targetted. Before we transition into that huge match between your team and Theo's, I need to ask. What do you make of all of these recent attacks? First we'll start with arguably your biggest attacker. Frodo Smackins.

What's there to say? The little bastard's jealous. Any time the spotlight isn't shining on him, he finds a way to make sure it does. He sees me as a threat to that, dude, because he knows what I can do, and he knows that he can't claim to be the best around as long as I'm here. I don't like the things he does, I don't agree with his tactics, and I told him I didn't want anything to do with him. That's not good enough for a dude like Frodo though, man. He doesn't get his way he throws a tantrum like a baby and won't leave you alone, or uses his connections in the front office to force the issue. Look what he's doing to Peter right now, man. Pete can't do a damn thing without Frodo popping up to say something or try to humiliate him, right? And when was the last time anyone new debuted without having to deal with Frodo's routine? He's an attention hungry punk, that's all.

I think anyone could understand your frustrations with him. But he hasn't been the only one to target you. His friends in The Asylum have also taken exception to you and have targetted you recently. What are your thoughts on The Asylum?

Who cares about the Asylum? Mick Manson is a joke, Ghost Tank lost a "creepy meat hook" match to a guy who has to wear Velcro shoes because he never learned to tie his laces, and Frodo is just there because, again, he has to be involved in everything. Their other members are all scrubs. Hysteria is the only one out of the lot that has any talent, and I'll give him his dues for beating Guppy Parsh - but he better be damn clear in the knowledge that I'm coming for him, especially after what him and his little group of carny geeks pulled at the trios match.

Well I'm sure they're group has to know you're coming for them. Especially after what you did to Ghost Tank and Mickey Manson at Shove It. Now, let's focus on the main event. What was it like stepping into the ring with Theo Pryce, John Samuels, and John Madison?

I did what I did at Shove It to do exactly that, dude. I sent a message, and I showed everyone that the circus troupe known as the Asylum is nothing more than a scam.
As far as the "Three King" go? Well, hey, it is what it is, right? Those three dudes know how to win. Theo Pryce is the reigning Universal Champion for a reason, whether it be because he knows how to sniff out an opportunity like he did with his Enigma persona or because he can take advantage of a situation like he did when he took the belt from Eli. One thing Theo isn't, though, is a good teammate. Ask anyone who thought he had his back at War Games. And Maddy and Samuels? They're no better. They have no passion for this, they just want to say they're champions. As soon as they get bored with the belts, they'll walk away.

You think they'll just walk away from the belts? Also was it strange going against someone like John Madison considering he is management?

Strange? It was a setup from the start, man. Even Madison himself said it was never intended to be a fair fight. Those three guys wanted to make an example, mostly of Peter, and to win the titles. But do they want to keep the titles? I don't think they care, dude. I'd be surprised if they bother trying to really defend those belts, man. They just wanted to beat us, that's all, and with a combination of Theo's brain, Samuels' ability and Madison's connections, they did.
Madison's got rocks in his head, not brains. Why do you think he kicked out of my finisher?

I thought it would've been because he wanted to win the belt. The thirst for gold. But is he the first person to kick out of The Black Label Driver?

No, there have been others. Pest did it, thanks to his dick crown. It happened at Relentless, but I didn't really get all of it that time. I think Doc might have too, but that guy's a freak of nature. Typically speaking, once I drop someone with that move, three seconds is pretty easy to get, man.

Well it's safe to say you've had some success here, but what's next?

The sky's the limit, dude. Theo Pryce has thrown more obstacles in front of me every day since I first challenged him for his title. He knows he can't win one on one, and he knows he's nothing without the belt. Now he thinks he can let his buddy Samuels fight me off for him. He wants Samuels to be the number one contender, because he knows he'll never cash in the opportunity. Why do you think he fed him a weak competitor like Maverick to earn the spot? But Samuels is too cocky for his own good, man, and he put that contendership up for grabs with me. Big mistake, dude. Next time the XWF has a pay per view, you'll see me in the Main Event, taking that strap away from Theo.

Well that's all for this interview portion of The Pagoda Report. Be sure to join us next time!

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Well that about sums up 'The Pagoda Report' for this period. Be sure to join us in two weeks as we have the next edition of 'The Pagoda Report.'

Thank you for joining me and step up your work. For everyone shall be assessed and assimilated.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 11:20 AM**

"Is Lane so fucking stupid that he doesn't get why I've targeted him repeatedly? Does he not get the shit with Peter? That's been going on almost a year. And the only new person I attacked was Tessy. Because I made a request and he couldn't even respond. There's reason behind my madness."

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 11:32 AM**

Yeah, I get why you attacked me repeatedly, Frodo.

It's because you're a spotlight hungry

.

Pretty simple.

Mastermind · **11-22-2014, 12:51 PM**

"Wow I get Wrestler of the Week. Cool."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 12:57 PM**

"You really are a dumbass mother fucker. I've told you why the fuck I've come after you, at least 6 times. It's not my fault you're too stupid to get it. You said some shit you shouldn't. You threatened me, insulted my wife and daughter. I called you on it, and what happened? You ran away. I'm here to make you accountable for that shit. You fucking pussy."

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 01:04 PM**

Jacob walks in front of the camera with a chair, and lowers his Red Hood. He sits down on the chair, and rolls his eyes. He looks forward.

"Dwarf, what gives you the right to ride roughshod over everyone in the XWF who does not agree with your views. I'm not sticking up for the long hair clown, he'll get his soon enough, but you still don't get it. You are not the enforcer of the XWF. The Real Higher Power will see to that."

Jacob smirks and sits back.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 01:11 PM**

"No, I'm the Violator. I violate people. And Pussy Pants said it about my family, that gives me the right to fuck with him."

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 01:14 PM**

(11-22-2014, 01:11 PM)Fordo Swagkins Said: "No, I'm the Violator. I violate people. And Pussy Pants said it about my family, that gives me the right to fuck with him."

Jacob sits forward and smirks.

"Dwarf you have major problems. You don't even know when to turn the other cheek and to let it slide. That's why you always have to have the last word, because you think you are all that. I can guarantee you that you are not all that, and when it comes time for our match I will expose you for who you really are."

Jacob sits back and laughs.

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 01:26 PM**

(11-22-2014, 01:11 PM)Fordo Swagkins Said: "No, I'm the Violator. I violate people. And Pussy Pants said it about my family, that gives me the right to fuck with him."

Oh whatever, you little half sized queer. You don't give a shit about your family. You let your kids fuck each other, you barely did shit to Simon after the way he treated them while you were gone... and I said all that shit to him in response to trash he was saying to me. You would have done the same thing, dude, and it certainly doesn't amount to a month of stalkery bullshit.

Face it, you're just using that shit as an excuse, man. Fuck, you're not even really married and you want me to treat your "wife" with respect? Fuck off, man.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 01:31 PM**

"Am legally married. And what did Simon do to my kids that was so wrong? Yeah, Katie and Joey fucked a few times, which I vehemently opposed. But you ran your mouth, then backed down. You're still backing down. That's the issue. You're a pussy. And I'm bringing it to light. If I had issues with people getting more limelight than I do, why not go after Eli, Shane, Maddy, Theo, or Az?"

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 01:46 PM**

You don't go after Madison because he's your boss, you dumb little fuck, and so is Shane. And you only don't go after Azrael and Theo because you know it's easier to sit back and try to suck their cocks than try to beat them - because you can't.

Same with Eli. Same with Samuels. You talk your shit but you don't dare step up.

You keep saying i'm backing down as if I haven't already accepted your little challenge. It's already on the books, freak.

And no, dude, sorry to burst your bubble, but you're a resident of Michigan last time I checked, dude. You can't get a marriage license in Illinois if it would be illegal in your state of residency, and your wife has a cock. So no, not valid. Thank me later, shithead, I just saved you a fortune in your divorce.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 02:08 PM**

"Belize doesn't hold that. Guess where I went? Belize. Guess who I previously had very vocal issues with, and culminated in me trying to have killed. Shane. Eli did the job for me. Guess who I also have issues with, and they will be coming to a head soon, after his pussy return. Samuels. It's known Samuels and I don't like each other. Also had issues with Maddy, but we resolved them. Same with Azrael. Back when he was Supernova. It's hard for you to get shit right, isn't it? And yes, you did back away. I had to push the issue more, before you accepted again. Remember when you backed away? Good times. Which is why I stopped fucking with you. Dipshit."

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 02:17 PM**

Dude, you think this is nothing more than a game of remembering each other's god damn biographies and it's fucking boring. Tell you what, shithead, pretty sure even in Belize it's illegal to marry outside of your ow species - and whatever the fuck you are you sure as shit aren't a human being. Neither are trannies, for that matter.

I really like how you use examples of going after Shane and Samuels by demonstrating exactly how you haven't done it yourself or done it yet. You should be real proud, dude.

But yeah, let's discuss historical facts some more, since that's all you're good for anyway. Break out your little "what my

ass did today in the big bad wrestling company" diary that you carry around with you everywhere you go and show everyone how much more random, useless trivia you can remember. That definitely wins matches, doesn't it? Remembering what day of the week your piss stopped burning? Or who beat who how many times in 2012?

Yeah, you're a threat just like Gilly grew his ears back. I declined to fight you because I don't WANT to, not because I can't BEAT you. You bore me, you annoy me, you try to fuck everyone you're in the ring with and you skip around pretending you're hot shit whether or not you win. The matches are the least important thing to you, dude, so why even bother? After I beat you down you'll still act like I didn't, so fuck it.

Fuck, you "backed down" but my name is still all over your breath like it's Theo's wrinkled dick. I answered a god damn question from a journalist, and you show up running your cumcatcher again. Brilliant. Really.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-22-2014, 02:51 PM**

"I did go for Shane, and Samuels. I stood beside Duke and Davids and Charlotte as we tried to ensure Shane died. Samuels pulled me away, and we fought once there. Eli killed Shane while I was away. Then I faced Samuels again. And dunked my nuts in his mouth. Like I said, again. Simple fucking English. I also took Shane's head, and fucked it.

And no, bitch, you're the one that tried to draw up the past like it'd catch me off guard and save you. You've done that before, only to get proven as not knowing what the fuck you're talking about.

If you afraid why back out? That's the thing I don't get. You accepted, then backed out like a bitch. If you didn't want it, why did you even accept? See, it's just making sense. Perhaps this is another case of Lane being a dumbass, and trying to cover his tracks. Fuck, I hate that I can see through your shit so easily.

I haven't come at you, haven't jumped on your shit since you accepted. But, yeah, I came back to say this because you had to make yourself look like the victim and me the monster. And you had to try and trash me, but expected no answer? Fucking bitch."

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 05:07 PM**

You're ridiculous, dude. I don't control what questions people ask me, man, I just told him the truth.

You say I'm making you look like a monster? I said you were an annoying pain in my ass. I'd never call you a monster. And if you think the only reason someone might not want a match with someone is fear then you just don't really know shit about shit after all. It's like you don't remember anything outside of "Lane accepted" and then "Lane took it back." You don't remember that I resisted in the first place, that I only ever said yes to get you to back off, and then took it back when you didn't. Now you'll come along and say I never gave an exact date and yadda yadda yadda and we have been through all of this shit before. All the while you'll just ignore the simple truth that I've been saying since the very beginning - a match with you has no value to me.

These kinds of useless conversations with you are pretty much exactly why.

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 06:07 PM**

Jacob yawns, and sits forward in his chair.

"Long Hair Git, what a useless twat you are. You keep on moaning about the Dwarf, and yet you let him bore us all with this constant back and forth useless pile of shit talk. Either put up with it, and say nothing at all, or fuck off. Now shut the hell up, and stop whining."

Jacob laughs and sits back.

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 06:13 PM**

The fuck?

Dude, stick to Maverick and others on his level. You don't want to mess with me, man.

Little Frodo's vitriolic bullshit is definitely boring, but it ain't my responsibility to save the lot of you is it?

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 06:20 PM**

(11-22-2014, 06:13 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: The fuck?

Dude, stick to Maverick and others on his level. You don't want to mess with me, man.

Little Frodo's vitriolic bullshit is definitely boring, but it ain't my responsibility to save the lot of you is it?

Jacob claps his hands in glee, and sits forward.

"No one and I mean no one is on my level, and I will prove that when I beat the Next Level Meta, the Dwarf, and Azarael Erebus, and then Maverick and Luke Gunnar."

"The Real Higher Power is on complete different level than everyone else in the XWF. That's why we are called The Real Higher Power."

"You, yourself, long haired git, don't have any responsibility, but my responsibility is to take you out, I will do that soon enough. Would you like to add anything useful to the conversation?"

Jacob sits back gloating.

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 06:33 PM**

Yeah, you have fun with all that, dude, I'm sure you'll do great.

Why are you bothering me, again?

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 06:38 PM**

(11-22-2014, 06:33 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: Yeah, you have fun with all that, dude, I'm sure you'll do great.

Why are you bothering me, again?

Jacob sits forward.

"Because The Real Higher Power chose to... We bother anyone, anytime. Do I make myself clear. Anyone... Anytime... Including the Dwarf, the Boy, and anyone we see fit, we bother."

"Does it disturb you? If so you better get use to it, you long haired git."

Jacob laughs and sits back.

**Vincent Lane** · **11-22-2014, 06:41 PM**

You keep calling me that... my hair's long on purpose, dude. It doesn't insult me.

TRHP · **11-22-2014, 06:53 PM**

(11-22-2014, 06:41 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: You keep calling me that... my hair's long on purpose, dude. It doesn't insult me.

Jacob stands up, and grabs the chair.

"Okay Sweetheart, keep telling yourself that."

Jacob pulls The Red Hood over his head, and walks away.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **11-22-2014, 11:36 PM**

frodo is a piece of shit that just wants attention and for some reason has a obsession with me.. too bad his obsession will lead to his eventual DEATH!

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