Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

~~Sweet Cheapshots~~ · (03-27-2013)

"The Players"

[Image: tumblr_ly7pxckcB11rnjfjfo5_250.jpg]

Sweet Cheapshots
"The hero"

Natalie Foxx
"The girl & the boss"

Dikembe
"The spiritual advisor"

Billy Williams
"XWF on-boarding specialist"

{Episode 004}"The one in which our hero attempts to stand tall in the twin cities."

[Image: george-clooney-20050504-38372.jpg]

"Oh, hello. I didn't hear you come in. What's that? Ah, it's nothing. Just some doodles. I just like to sit back and write a little poetry sometimes. You ever have those mornings where you wake up and you're almost moved to tears by a sunrise? Or perhaps you find yourself captivated by a doe that's appeared in your yard? Quite glorious if you ask me. Anyway, I know you didn't come here to listen to me talk about my poetry. Get comfortable, friend. If you last recall our hero, Sweet Cheapshots, was involved in a little dust-up in the motor city. I'll let him fill you in on the rest. And as always, we join... the story... already... in... progress... "

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #222:
Sweet Cheapshots is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks.

The location: St. Paul Airport - Minnesota Time: 6:53pm CT

We find Sweet Cheapshots standing at baggage claim in the St. Paul airport. He looks rather annoyed to be waiting. Natalie stands on his left working away on her phone. On his right, Dikembe, dressed in shorts, a white button down and plaid hat with the flaps on the side. He's absentmindedly licking away at an ice cream cone.

Sweet Cheapshots: "It's the middle of the flippin' winter and where does XWF send us? Minnesota. That makes a hell of a lot of sense."

Natalie Foxx: "You know traveling is part of the gig."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I do, but for the love of all that is holy can they send us somewhere where having all your teeth isn't optional?"

Sweets looks over where a heavyset woman is balancing her iPad on the mound of her belly as she sits wedged into a chair. She snorts with laughter at something she's watching.

Natalie Foxx: "Hey, look on the bright side we got out of Detroit in one piece."

Sweet Cheapshots: "True story."

Natalie leans over close to Sweets and whispers:

Natalie Foxx: "Have you, uh... said thank you to Billy yet?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "What? Oh..."

Sweets looks over his shoulder where Billy is standing behind him. He has a black eye, arm in a sling, and a neck brace. He's also holding Sweets' suitcase in his good arm and has a large duffle bag slung over his shoulder causing him tremendous strain.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hey... thanks Billy."

Billy Williams: "No problem, Mr. Cheapshots. I'm happy to... *strains* hold all your luggage. Congrats again on your win on Wednesday"

Sweets nods dismissively, and clocks Billy standing barefoot.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Why the hell aren't you wearing shoes? Jesus, Billy, if I wanted to look at your bare feet, I'd sneak in and do it while you're asleep."

Billy Williams: "I had to take my shoes off as I think my ankles are swelling."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Is that what that smell is? I thought maybe I hadn't showered enough of the Detroit stench off me."

Natalie Foxx: "Maybe it might be a good idea to thank Billy for saving us back with those hoodlums who were holding us at gunpoint."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Ah, I could've taken those guys, I was just trying to give Billy his time in the sun."

Natalie Foxx: "Well I appreciate it, Billy. Thank you."

Billy Williams: "You're very welcome, Ms. Foxx."

Sweets mouths, "You're very welcome Ms. Foxx" with a sneer on his face.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'm telling you I would've taken those guys down. I was just waiting for them to back off."

Natalie Foxx: "That's not how I remember it."

Sweet Cheapshots: "We both know your memory is not that reliable, Nat."

Natalie Foxx: "Oh really? And how exactly do you remember it playing out?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Well..."

~FLASHBACK~

Detroit city street. High noon. All three gangbangers pull out handguns and point them at Sweets' crew.

Gangbanger #3: "You can be on your way after I put a slug in you there, pretty boy."

Sweets eyes lower. It's real tense. Neither side backing down. Then --

Sweets is moving, slow motion style, and he pulls two guns from the holsters under his blazer. He fires wildly as he dives behind a parked van for cover.

Natalie and Dikembe join him as the van is getting shot up by the gangbangers. Over the sound of glass shattering Sweets yells as he fires back defensively.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'm going back in. Watch my back!"

Natalie Foxx: "We don't have any guns!"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Don't try to be a hero, Nat."

Natalie Foxx: "What does that even mean?!"

Sweets does a roll away from the van and in super slow motion he dives to the side, firing round after round, as each gangbanger drops in a heap. It's very John Woo.

As Sweets lands safely a flock of doves escape from a nearby tree and soar into the sky.

Sweets looks at the fallen gangbangers, rugged smile on his face...

~END OF FLASHBACK~

We're back in the St. Paul airport where Sweets has a self-satisfying look on his face. Natalie lowers her eyes at him.

Natalie Foxx: "Right, because if you had dropped three gangbangers in a shoot-out, in broad daylight, you wouldn't be wanted by the police for questioning."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I have my version, Nat. You have yours."

Natalie Foxx: "Well, I think mine's a little more accurate."

~FLASHBACK~

Detroit city street. Afternoon. Three gangbangers with guns drawn on Sweets' crew.

Sweets is on his knees, pleading -- crying -- for his life.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Oh god, I don't want to die! Take all the money in my wallet -- you can have Dikembe! I don't even like him that much, but please don't kill me!!"

Sweets grabs onto one of the gangbanger's legs and starts to sob uncontrollably.

Natalie steps forward, hair blowing in the wind, standing tall in sky-high heels, looking damn sexy.

Natalie Foxx: "Listen here, boys. You don't point that gun at my face unless you plan to use it. Now, I suggest you put the guns away before I come over there and stick the heel of my shoe up your ass!"

The gangbangers look... terrified. They drop the guns on the sidewalk and take off running down the street.

~END OF FLASHBACK~

Back in the airport. Now it's Sweets turn to give Natalie a look.

Sweet Cheapshots: "That is SO inaccurate. I certainly didn't cry. Tell her, Billy."

Billy Williams: "I couldn't see, Mr. Cheapshots. I was getting punched in the kidney at that point."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Figures. Go see if you can round me up a coffee."

Billy looks down at his current predicament, sighs, and sludges off to find Sweets a coffee.

Natalie Foxx: "I don't know how you can drink a coffee this late in the day."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Coffee is good at anytime. I love my coffee just like my women, black, bitter and hopefully fair trade."

Natalie shoots him a look that if it could kill or turn someone to stone, Sweets would die of a heart attack, and then be a frozen statue.

Sweets smiles sheepishly.

Meanwhile, shouting is heard from just on the other side of the baggage claim. Security is yelling at Dikembe to get off the suitcase that he is riding around the luggage carousel.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Well, at least he made it a full two hours this time."

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #63:
If Sweet Cheapshots were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.

The location: Le Méridien Minneapolis Luxury Hotel Time: 9:24am CT

We follow along a pair of high heels as they walk along the carpeted hallway of the hotel corridor. They stop abruptly at room 317, and we see it's Natalie. She knocks at the large door in front of her.

After a moment, the door opens and in the entranceway stands Sweet Cheapshots. Nude. Hair disheveled. Eyes squinty.

::Due to the family nature of the show an icon of Tyrone's head (for scale purposes) has been used to cover Mr. Cheapshots nether regions. Tyrone fatheads now available in the XWF Fan Store. Order now!::

Natalie Foxx: "Why in the hell are you nude?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Why wouldn't I be?"

Natalie Foxx: "Let me rephrase, why are you answering the door nude?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "You act like this is weird."

Natalie sighs as she scoots past Sweets and enters his hotel room. She grabs a white robe that's hanging off the back of a chair and tosses it his way. He obliges and slips into the robe.

Sweet Cheapshots: "So, how are things looking for Wednesday?"

Natalie Foxx: "Surprisingly, quite well. That match you had last week I think bought you back some credibility. Numbers look good. I'm still working Wallace to get you a spot at the pay-per-view."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Fantastic. What rollerball reject they have me with this week?"

Natalie passes him over a folder and he takes a seat on the bed as he glances through the print-outs.

Natalie Foxx: "Looks like you're in a triple threat."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Seriously? Who are these two. One looks like someone's divorced dad and the other a Voltron knockoff."

Natalie Foxx: "Don't let your ego inflate too big because you got a win last week. These two are legitimate."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Knightmask? Is that like Knight Rider... but with a mask...?"

Natalie Foxx: "Please just read the breakdown I gave you on them. Just this once."

Sweet Cheapshots: "...this guy work birthday parties or..."

Natalie Foxx: "Are you listening to me?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'm trying to, but seriously look at this, Nat. He hand drew a photo of himself on the bio you printed out. Seriously, this isn't even good. Shading is terrible..."

Natalie Foxx: "SWEETS!"

Sweet Cheapshots: "What?!"

Natalie Foxx: "For once can you please, please just focus on what I'm giving you? If you do well with this it's another step to the top."

There's a knock on the door and Sweets gets up and lets the room service clerk in.

Sweet Cheapshots: "It's about time. I'm starving."

Room Service Clerk: "Sir, hotel management wanted me to pass on the offer to take a tour of the city. It's a special promotion that's run through the hotel."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Take a tour of the city? What's there to see? It's cold, there's a big mall, and one too many waffle houses. Tour over. Thanks, but I'm all set."

The clerk looks slightly rejected as Sweets ushers him out of the room without a tip.

Sweet Cheapshots: "What were we talking about?"

Natalie Foxx: "I was saying --"

The phone rings on the nightstand and Sweets heads over and answers.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hello? Yeah, this is him. What? Who said they know me? Hang on."

Sweets puts the phone to his chest.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Do we know a Billy Williams?"

Natalie cocks an eyebrow.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Is that a yes or...?"

Natalie Foxx: "BILLY! Your little man servant."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Ohhhh. Right. Got it now."

Sweets gets back on the phone.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, turns out we know him. He's what?! Oh man. No, don't do that. I'll come get him."

Sweets hangs up. Natalie looks over concerned.

Natalie Foxx: "What's going on?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Billy got himself arrested trying to pick up a call girl last night. I didn't even think he knew the opposite sex existed."

Natalie Foxx: "What?!?!"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, he's always looking at pictures of wrestlers all day. I mean is that a sign or --"

Natalie Foxx: "No, you idiot. I'm referring to him being arrested. He's in jail right now?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, we gotta go bail him out."

To be continued...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode EP004: "The one in which our hero attempts to stand tall in the Twin Cities." (RP#1)
Author	Message