The night is eerily dark, and Pest darkens the door way. He raises his hand, and rings the buzzer. Silently he waits. Nothing. He looks at his watch, and minutes have passed. The girl beside him begins to get anxious. She tugs on his jacket, and he looks over to meet her gaze. Puppy dog eyes. How Pest loathes puppy dog eyes.

Mr. WGWF:Fine, my dear. I'll knock. Don't gaze upon me as such. It's unneeded.

She smiles and he knocks. The door slowly opens and a face, unfamiliar to the pair, greets them.

"Hello?"

Mr. WGWF:Hello, Urchin boy. I'm looking for Frodo Smackins. Is he here?

"Yeah. He's here. I'ma go get him. What's your name, so I can tell him?"

Mr. WGWF:Tell him that his Captain is here to see him.

The unknown boy closes the door leaving Pest and the girl to stand in the cold for minutes until the door opens and someone else answers. Not Frodo.

Mr. WGWF:Hi. I'm here to see Frodo. Where is he?

"He's getting pants on or putting out his pipe. Come on in, I'm Crack. Fred's manager. Who are you, and why are you claiming to be his captain?"

They walk into a living room in disrepair. Either Frodo was moving, or his house is just in a constant state of chaos. Either one is likely with the Hobbit. Boxes were lining the walls, and the only furniture set up was a 70" tv mounted to the wall. It was currently displaying old reruns of Petticoat Junction.

Mr. WGWF:Not a good manager, I see. I'm Mr. WG.WF, also known as Pest. Frodo's been assigned to my team for Wargames. He's replacing John Samuels.

"Really? Why is someone from that shitty fed in the XWF? And why are you a captain?"

"Because he's here to kill Shane or something. You really don't keep up anymore, do you?"

Mr. WGWF:So, the mysterious hobbit appears. I assume your Urchin told you I was here. And yet, you send your manager to speak to me instead of coming right away?

"Bitch, I was busy jerking off. The fuck you want from me? The thought of kicking Mastermind's ass again gets me hard. Now, the fuck you want?"

Mr. WGWF:I've come to speak to you about our match. In regards to where your loyalties lie and trustworthiness.

"Shit, needledick. You don't need to worry about me. I'm on as a favor to Shane. Not you. He told me if I kicked ass in the ring there's a chance I might get to smash Todd's head into a toilet filled with shit. Didn't tell me I'd be working for you. Nah, he said I'd get to usurp your ass. I turned that shit down like I was about to take a piss test."

Mr. WGWF:I don't even know what that means. Do I have your loyalty or not?

"The fuck I just say? Nigga, you keep repeating questions and you don't. But right now, you got my loyalty. Jesus fuck. Anyway, can't believe you won that stupid Love it shit. Anyway, nigga. I'm bout to turn up. Katie's bringing one of her friends home from work, and I'ma tap that barely legal puss. You welcome to stay, but I ain't bout that child rape in this house. Hear?"

Mr. WGWF:Yes, I believe I hear you. You don't need to worry, there will be no child rape in your house. Barbie, go entertain the boy who slammed the door in our faces. And be kind, I may have a match set with Frodo on the 29th, but for now I need him to be a friend.

Barbie nodded and headed towards the hallway. She paused and looked at Crack for a minute.

"Third door on the right. And if you do fuck, condoms are in the nightstand drawer. We don't need any more Wards running around."

Mr. WGWF:Barbie, do not fornicate with the boy. I don't share.

Barbie:Of course, baby. My pussy is just for you.

Without saying a word, she turned and went down the hallway towards Joseph-Gordon's room. Disappearing from sight. Pest turned to stare at Frodo who was now assembling a chair out of boxes.

Mr. WGWF:And what are you doing, Mr. Smackins?

"Nigga. Call me Frodo. Or Big Dick Playa. And I'm tryinga turn up and watch some Petticoat Junction before some ripe 18 year old pussy gets itself all caught up on my dick and I end up missing the end of my show. Now, assemble a chair and sit yo ass down. Want some Fancy Feast?"


Mr. WGWF:No, I do not eat Cat food. Why do you eat that stuff, Hobbit?

"Shit, nigga. This shit is good. You gonna have a seat, or just stand and watch the show?"

Mr. WGWF:I think I'll stand. I don't want to get some sort of infection.

Crack opened up a folding chair and sat next to Frodo. He began to watch the show as well, before pulling out a pipe and some Crack Cocaine. Humorous how that works. Crack smokes Crack. He lights it and takes a hit before passing it along to the Hobbit, who also takes a hit.

Mr. WGWF:Are you seriously going to sit down and smoke crack while watching TV shows from the 70's?

"Yeah. It's how I prepare for a fight. You got a better idea? Besides raping kids and shit."

Mr. WGWF:Don't you ever train, or study your opponents at all?

"Meh, if I think they're a threat. But, not this week. And I don't know why you're sweating them either. You've got the big dick playa on your team. You can't lose with the Big Dick Playa."

Mr. WGWF:I beat you once.

"Yeah, and I beat most of their team already. Big deal. I'ma kick they ass again this week, then on the 29th, I'll kick your ass. It's all good."

Mr. WGWF:Whatever. Fine.

The door opened and two girls walked in. One of them was blonde, and the other red headed. The redhead was wearing a tank top with a cat's face on the front, and a skirt that stopped somewhere just below her pelvis. The blonde was in blue jeans and a shirt matching Frodo's hoodie. Katie. Katie notices Pest first, and looks him up and down.

"Hey daddy. This is the girl I was telling you about, Carlie. She really wants to meet you. But, um. What's he doing here?"

Mr. WGWF:I'm here to address a matter of strategy with your father. We're teamed up to partake in the Wargames this week.

"Yeah, what he said. Now, Carlie, you gonna suck it or just stand there with your ass hanging out?"

The redhead silently pulls a hair tie off her wrist and uses it to tie her hair back in a pony tail. Frodo looks pleased, but just sits there. She moves over to him, drops to her knees, and slowly undoes Frodo's jeans. Her mouth moves to his crotch, and her head begins to bob. Katie turns around to face Crack.

"Right, I don't need to see my dad get head. I'm gonna go grab some food. Do you, and Joey wanna come?"

"Yeah. I'm not gonna get a turn at that girl, so why not?"

"Good deal. You, creepy guy. You wanna come with? If that weird girl you always travel with is here she can come too. Just don't try and hook up around us. I don't really need to see you sleep with minors."

Mr. WGWF:Fine, my dear. We shall dine with you. Someone just needs to fetch the other two.

Crack goes off to get Joseph-Gordon and Barbie. They three of them come back in a matter of moments. And the group heads to the door. Carlie stops bobbing to address Crack before they leave.

"Hey, when you come back we're gonna fuck. Kay? Katie told me to make sure both you and Frodo have a good time."

Crack nods and the group of miscreants head off to a Big Boy. Frodo keeps his open all night.

---

Hello, folks. It appears the War Games are finally upon us. And what a game set it is. As much as Theodore tried to get in the way of it, I did get my wish to face Mastermind's "team". All the joys of it happening are mine. You see, I planned on this happening. The one thing I did not plan on was Frodo taking over for Samuels. But whatever, I believe my team can win. Scully is pretty near undefeated. Peter Gilmour has been on a hell of a winning steak as of late. Frodo is just coming off a win over Aerial Knight, and I'm just posed to fuck Vinnie Lane over. Then we have the unknown. S.W.A.T. I really do not know much about him, except that he believes I would sabotage my team to screw him over. Either way, I expect nothing but good things. Even if Mastermind and McBride are so cowardly that they would turn my bet down. It just goes to show you how confident they are about their chances of beating us. Just sad.

Now, I'd normally address a certain weakness on my opponent, or inform them of something they missed, but the problem is that they're missing too much. You'd figure between the five of them they would be able to avoid my sights easier, but alas they haven't. Between McBride trying to get cute and tough with me, after being called out, and Ezekiel's threats of giving us AIDs, I'm not sure where to even begin with them. I could just ridicule Michael McBride for losing to Maverick, as well as just about anyone he's faced. What is your record, Michael? 10 losses to 5 wins? Oh, no. 9 wins and 9 losses. But is that the correct tally? Or have you been lying about that the same as you've been lying about your entire life?

There is no way that any organization as serious as the IRA, or a legitimate mafia, would allow you anywhere near their stuff. They'd want someone who's actually capable. Why not tell us the truth, Michael. You've been watching a lot of Sopranos, or Boondock Saints, or Robert DiNiro movies and thought to yourself, "Gee, wouldn't it be awesome if I wasn't a complete fuckwit and could be actually accepted into something like this. I know, I'll make up lies and people will believe it without question. I mean, in what realm of possibility would the spouse of a high ranking Mafia boss be able to wrestle and get his ass kicked? In what realm would the spouse of a high ranking Mafia boss be allowed to do anything dangerous like that? You'd be too highly valued as a target, someone would throw a blanket over you and take you to a "secure location" holding you hostage. Although, if the "organization" you work for is to be judged based on you, then that location would probably just be a cardboard box outside of a Five and dime, and they'd spend the next twenty years trying to figure out where you went. I bet you're not even Irish!

Ezekiel would actually have to show up to the match in order for the AIDs threat to work, and I imagine in his drugged out stupor he'll get lost and end up passed out in the back.