You know every once in a while when I get really bored I try and find new ways to occupy my time and give my mind a bit of a break. I've spent the better of this week preparing for my upcoming match with LH Harrison while also helping Cain to prepare for his match with Blizzard. However while I'v been doing my part to train for what I expect to be a walk in the park LH Harrison is has been in what I guess you could at this point call a coma. Seriously, has anyone else noticed that LH Harrison has been dreaming for three days now?

Amazing. Someone should really go and check on him. Where is his tag team partner Aerial Knight at? Why isn't he making sure that the other half of Rope a Dope, or is it Heart and Hope? I can't be bothered to remember, but why is he not checking up on his partner? This is serious business. I would hate to get a shot at the X-treme title because my oppnent was too busy drooling all over a pillow.

Actually, that's a lie. The difference between winning because Harrison is asleep and actually facing Harrison in the ring is negligible at best.

But anyway, LH Harrison seems to believe that the best way to prepare for a match is to play video games so I thought I'd give it a try myself. I searched the Compound high and low for something that resembled a video game console. No Nintendo, no Sega Genesis, no Playstation or XBox. Not even a Gamecube or a Dreamcast. No, what I found what as akin to a hidden treasure.





An Atari 5200. This thing is older than me. Which I guess makes it a classic?

And despite Sebastian's wealth and abundance of all things classic he only had one game to go along with this hidden gem, Breakout.

So I dusted off the ole Atari, hooked it up, stole one of Matthews Red Bull's and proceeded to play Breakout for the next 9 hours hoping that maybe it would give me that spark like LH Harrison was hoping Mortal Kombat would give him.

But do you know what I found out after 9 hours of playing Breakout?

It wasn't a spark.

No, what I found out after playing this particular video game for 9 hours was just how much life must have sucked for kids in the 80's. Breakout. Pacman?

At least kids in the 90's had Super Mario Brothers and Sonic.

Kids in this century had games like Grand Theft Auto.

But none of that really matters.

Not when you are dealing with a medical miracle.

What miracle you ask?

How about the one where LH Harrison has been in a coma for three days and yet while in a coma he has somehow managed to view promos and respond to them.

While in a coma or a nap. Either way, he is asleep.

I am truly not sure how exactly he is going about that, and I am hoping that if he eventually wakes up he will share that information with us. It could change everything we think we know about what goes on while someone is in a coma.

But in the meantime I suppose it is only right that I address the things coming out of LH Harrison's mouth. Or are they coming out of his mouth at all? Again, I'm not entirely clear on that since he's supposed to be asleep. But nevertheless thoughts were shared and so now I shall share some of my own.

It is the right thing to do, the relevant thing to do and who are we if not slaves to the relevance monster?

LH Harrison do you believe that because you don't run away from fights that it makes you some type of inspiration? I suppose you do, that is what you call yourself isn't it?

Truth be told you are inspirational. In fact half way through your last promo you inspired me to take a nap.

Which I did and then I woke up refreshed and ready to suffer through the last half of your promo. I wish I hadn't but I did and so here we are.

But back to not running away from fights. Do you think this makes you special LH?

Do you think that people are going to look up at you and say look at LH Harrison, that's who I want to be when I grow up, a guy who walks in to an ass kicking just so he can stand up with the help of crutches while bandaged up to the point of being in a full body cast just so he can say "I didn't run away from this fight."

You know who says that?

Idiots.

Walking into a fight where you are clearly outmatched doesn't make you smart, it doesn't make you tough, it doesn't make you heroic. It makes you a fucking idiot.

Since you like to quote famous people allow me to quote one as well.

"Live to fight another day."

You should have walked away from this match the second you saw it booked. You haven't and now you are going to regret it.

Live to fight another day LH, that is your only chance here.

If you had an ounce of brainpower you would call up Shane, John or Ozymandias right now and beg them to take you out of this match because if you don't it is very possible that this match will be the last one you ever have.

Make no mistake about it LH, while beating you is just a formality, this week's worth of promos is simply a prologue to the inevitable.

But just beating you is not what I am going for here.

No, what I am going for here is to show you, and Shades and anyone else here that me, a part time part timer can waltz in here, opt in for a match and beat the balls off of a guy who wrestles week in and week out.

You seem to think that because you beat Cain that that feat has some bearing on our match. It doesn't. Not in the least.

Cain is many things, chief among them is that he is a mountain of untapped potential.

He's better than he was prior to his initiation into The Brotherhood but he is not even a fraction of what he could be.

He will be though in time. And I am the reason why.

You can pretend like you beat Cain with ease, we both know that's not the case but if saying so makes you feel better and helps you to win some fans than so be it. Lie to the people just like you are lying to them when you say that you are going to drive a stake through my proverbial heart.

Truth is, you couldn't do that if I provided the stake and stood in front of you, arms at my side with the stake already placed over my heart. You're just not that good and the sooner you recognize the fact the easier it will be when the bell rings and you are laying on your back looking up at the ceiling while the ref is raising my hand in victory.

You aren't afraid of me LH? Well you sure as shit should be.

But by all means, go on, play your video games, dream your dreams. I bet you'll even beat the big bad Enigma in them but when you wake up you are going to have to come to grips with the fact that it was only just a dream.