Date: March 18, 2013
Event: Monday Night Madness
Arena: Kemper Arena
City: Kansas City, Missouri
The opening credits and video package roll as Monday Night Madness hit’s the air to its theme song, “Long Way to the Top” by AC/DC plays throughout the arena.
Pyro explodes throughout the Kemper Arena as the camera pans the roaring Kansas City crowd. The pyro stops as the cameras continue to give live shots of the crowd.
”Before you two even say one God damned word…”
The cameras focus on the entrance way as Paul Heyman makes his way toward the ring. Following behind him, is his ‘riot cop.’ He enters the ring to a mixed reaction from the fans in attendance.
PH: “As I was saying. Before you two even utter a word tonight, I regret to inform you both, you are hereby relieved of your duties!
“Before you two start dialing up your lawyers, let me explain something to you. You are NOT fired. It’s just that you won’t be calling the action on Monday Nights. You’ll both be working backstage. Back to your old jobs, girls! Conducting interviews with the talent.”
Just then, the lights in the arena go out. The frame of the X-Tron explodes in flames in the darkness. Moments later a video appears on screen. Paul stands in the ring staring at the X-Tron in shock.
Press play.
No, seriously. Press play.
At the conclusion of the video, the fires extinguish and the lights come back on. The X-Tron stays lit and the cameras are backstage in the parking area. Coming into the arena is a motorcade of Chevy Suburbans and Cadillac limousines.
Back at ringside, Paul looks on as Liz and Steve make their way toward the back.
PH: “Steve! Hey Steve!”
Steve Sayors stops and turns to face Paul. Liz continues walking.
PH: “Your first assignment, Steve Sayors, is to interview one of THEM!”
Steve looks like he’s going to be sick as he looks up at the X-Tron at which Paul is pointing at. Stepping out of the trucks and limos are all of the members of the Black Circle.
PH: “Your task tonight, Steve, is to conduct an interview in the middle of this very ring, with Sebastian Duke!”
Paul’s ECW theme plays throughout the arena as he makes his exit as Madness cuts to a commercial break.
Two men start walking down the aisle. They take seats at the announce table. The white guy speaks first:
???: “Ladies and gentlemen, Madness is back on the air! I am your new host from now until Paul Heyman fires me, Chad Lewis. Joining me here at ringside from this point forward, Xavier Reigns. X, welcome to Madness!”
Xavier Reigns joins the conversation.
XAVIER REIGNS: “Yeah, thanks.”
CHAD LEWIS: “Oh, it’s gonna be like that huh?”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Yeah. Pretty much!”
CHAD LEWIS: “Moving on, it is my duty right now to get you people caught up on recent happenings here in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation! I think the biggest news that came about over the past week is the return of Michael James! He’s a bona fide star in this business!
“He made his return this past Saturday night on Shove It! He would make his entrance and deliver the Osaka Spike Kick to Tyler Decker! Why, is the question on everyones mind!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “I’m going to disagree! Michael James returning is big news, but it pales in comparison to the Angel of Darkness… SEBASTIAN DUKE… making a rare appearance on Shove It! He would come to the ring and offer a locked chest as a gift to a sworn enemy, XWF Owner, Shane !
“What was the gift? Was it even really a gift? Sebastian Duke then proceeded to run off the XWF owner!”
CHAD LEWIS: “He didn’t stop there, though. He would return later in the evening.”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Really? It wouldn’t be news if he didn’t!”
CHAD LEWIS: “I was just trying to help.”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Yeah, you don’t need to do that. I’m capable of speaking for myself!
“Anyhow, at the beginning of the main event, Shane would come out to ringside but get struck from behind by Mister Mystery! Shane would roll down the ramp. Mystery would follow him in order to inflict more damage…
“Enter…
“Sebastian Duke…
“Duke nailed Mystery from behind sending him into a bunch of equipment! A huge brawl would ensue, Carvers Black Circle would involve themselves. Duke would go on to open the chest. Inside this chest were a variety of Asmodeus’s canes! He handed them out to…
“The Black Circle members!
“Later on, after the brawl had died down, Shane officially introduced Sebastian Duke as the newest member of the Black Circle!”
CHAD LEWIS: “He’s arguably one of the most dangerous men in this company. Since its re-emergence, I don’t think the Black circle has ever been more dangerous!
“We have got to pay some bills, but when we come back, we head to the ring!”
Neil Capra & “The Freak” Mike Rhodes
- vs -
World-1 International & “Beautiful” Bobby Dean Standard Rules
”Welcome Home (Sanitarium)” by Metallica plays as Neil Capra emerges from backstage.
Ring Announcer: “The following contest, is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, making his way to the ring at this time, from Detroit, Michigan… weighing 2 hundred 1 pounds… NEIL CAAAAAAAPRAAAAAA!”
Capra walks the aisle shouting at the crowd. He enters the ring and awaits the arrival of his tag team partner.
“Burn” by Papa Roach hits the pa system. Mike slowly emerges from backstage.
RA: “And his partner. Also, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 2 hundred 75 pounds… The Freak…. MIKE…. RHOOOOOOOODES!”
Rhodes stands on the ramp looking out into the crowd with both hands on his hips. Looking from side to side, he has a grin on his face of disgust. He makes his way down the aisle. He makes pit stops from left to right mocking the crowd. Rhodes walks up the steps of the ring. He enters and off to the far right side of the ring he steps up on the second turnbuckle and raises both arms into the air. The crowd in unison, boos Rhodes. He then jumps down and stands in the middle of the ring looking into the camera with an evil grin slowly slits his throat. He then stands beside Capra and awaits their opponents.
World-1 International wisely stays outside the ring while he wais for his partner.
“ShowStopper” by Toby Mac plays and Bobby Dean begins his walk toward the ring.
RA: “His partner, from Venice Beach, California… weighing 2 hundred 45 pounds… Beautiful… Bobbyyyy… DEEEEEAAAANNN!”
CHAD LEWIS: “This tag team bout is about ready to get started!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “What was your first clue, Sherlock? All four men standing in the ring?”
CHAD LEWIS: “I… I…”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Just shut up.”
World-1 and BBD slide into the ring simultaneously. The bell rings as Capra and Rhodes start beating them down mercilessly. Stomps and kicks all over the place and the referee fails to retain any order whatsoever.
Rhodes tosses World-1 over the top rope and to the outside. Landing with a hard thud as he crashes hard to the floor. Meanwhile, Capra has Dean trapped in a corner and continuously beats him down.
The referee is demanding that Rhodes goes to his corner. Rhodes puts his hands up in defeat and finally retreats to his corner.
Capra is totally dominating Dean. Capra whips Dean toward the ropes and nails him on the rebound with a huge dropkick! Capra goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Almost 3! Dean kicks out just in time! Capra drags Dean to his corner and tags out to Rhodes. Capra maintains a grip on Deans ankle as the referee begins his 5 count.
1...
Huge elbow drop from Rhodes to Dean.
2...
Then another.
3...
And another.
4...
Capra exits the ring. Rhodes goes for the cover on Dean.
1...
2...
Not quite 3! World-1, seemingly out of nowhere makes the diving save. Capra enters the ring quickly and grabs W1 by the hair. He tosses him out of the ring through the ropes. W1 hangs on though and Capra is forced to exit.
Rhodes is back to his feet and lifts Dean to his. Rhodes sends Dean off the ropes. On the rebound, Rhodes lifts Dean up into a Military Press and drops him face first to the mat below! Rhodes, in a very cocky manner, places one foot on the chest of Dean. The referee counts.
1...
2...
Dean kicks out! Rhodes kind of chuckles to himself and tags back out to Capra.
Capra, the legal man now. He lifts Dean to his feet and then up into a firemens carry. Dean is struggling and fighting. Finally, Capra releases Dean. Dean falls back to his feet and he shoves Capra from behind. Dean, quickly leaps and tags out to World-1 International!
Capra turns and eats a slingshot clothesline from W1! W1 bounces off the ropes and delivers a rolling senton to Capra. He quickly makes the cover.
1...
2...
Rhodes begins to enter then stops. It became unnecessary as Capra kicks out.
W1 lifts Capra to his feet and tosses him into the corner. W1 charges in and delivers a dropkick to the face of Capra sending him down to the mat. W1 quickly goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Again, Capra kicks out. W1 pulls Capra to his feet. He whips Neil toward the ropes.
Reversed.
W1 off the ropes. He ducks a Capra clothesline on the rebound and stops suddenly. Capra turns around and eats a backflip kick to the skull. W1 again goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Save by Rhodes just in time to save the 3!
Both W1 and Capra are down on the mat and crawling towards their respective corners. Simultaneously, both men reach out and tag their partners!
Rhodes and Dean are now the legal men. Dean charges after Rhodes. Rhodes with a clothesline. Dean ducks it and rebound off the ropes. Rhodes catches him with a huge power slam! He hooks the leg.
1...
2...
SHOOTING STAR from W1 breaks up the pin! He lands it with authority and Capra enters the ring! The referee stops Capra in his tracks. They stand there arguing as W1 drags Dean to his corner. He steps out of the ring in order for Dean to make the tag!
W1 is the legal man now and he comes in like a buzz saw after Rhodes. Nailing him with stiff kicks and punches. Capra gets out of the ring to avoid the DQ. The referee returns his attention to the action in the ring.
The ref runs over and starts pushing W1 toward his corner. But why? He’s the legal man! W1 argues that he made the tag and the referee claims he never saw it!
Capra from out of nowhere lands a huge dropkick to the face of World-1! W1 drops through the ropes and down to the floor! Capra goes back to his corner just as Rhodes tags out.
Capra lifts Dean to his feet. He sets him up and delivers a thunderous Mind Breaker! He plants Dean hard with the flip piledriver and quickly goes for the cover.
1...
2...
3!
WINNERS: Neil Capra & Mike Rhodes
CHAD LEWIS: “A very solid opening contest to kick off Madness!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “No doubt about it, Chad! Rhodes and Capra dominated almost the entire match!”
CHAD LEWIS: “Last week here on Madness, Neil Capra was victim to a cowardly assault from a member of Paul Heymans security team! Tonight though, no dice! No riot cop here! I would bet it’s because Neil has a partner with him!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “I’d like to find out who is under that riot gear, Chad!”
CHAD LEWIS: “No doubt, X! We have got to take a quick timeout! Madness rolls on live!”
After the commercial break, the X-Tron lights up.
"I'm John Samuels, and I approve this message."
A firework is shown bursting into streams of red, white and blue, a cloudless summer day serves as the backdrop. The camera pans down to a large, white house. The sounds of children's laughter and patriotic anthems fill this fenced in portrait of suburbia. Surrounding a table clad in a red-and-white checkered tablecloth, are a group of adults laughing and enjoying the bright summer day. As the camera rests in a fixed position near the table, a large man dressed in a sharp white suit enters the frame with a large smile on his face.
John Samuels: "Hello there, America. My name is Senator John Samuels, and I'm here to paint a picture of true American glory. You see this?”
The Senator makes a broad gesture, pointing out the layout behind him.
"This is a throwback to a simpler time. A time when you could ask your next door neighbor for a cup of sugar. A time when you could go lay in the backyard and enjoy a beautiful sunset. A time when little Johhny and Sally could ride their bikes through the neighborhood safely. It was a different time, back then. A simpler time. It was the America that our forefathers had envisioned. The America that they fought and died for. Simply put, it was an America to be proud of. Times change, and unfortunately people... Well, they change too."
A somber look adorns his face.
"The people of this nation turned their backs on the great gift our forefathers gave them. They lost their pride. They opened their borders. They embraced abominations. Most importantly, they lost their values. Take, for example, the wonderful pastime of professional wrestling. As American as apple pie. It once was a wholesome, family-friendly event that captured the imaginations of people across the nation. Sadly, it is not what it once was. Now there are hooligans running around spewing profanities, blood and gore galore, man on woman violence even! Enough is enough, America! It is time for someone to step in and save you from yourselves! It is time for someone to put you back on a path towards righteousness and prosperity! America, it is time to be America once more!”
He loosens his tie, smiles once more and winks at the camera.
"I'm just the man for the job. As the great Republican President Herbert Hoover once said: We are turning the corner.
“Once again, my name is Senator John Samuels, and I approve this message!”
The X-Tron fades out and Madness cuts to a commercial.
Madness fades back in and the cameras are again backstage in the hallways.
CHAD LEWIS: “Welcome back to Madness! During the break I received word that something was going to backstage! Cameras are en route as we speak!”
The cameras turn a corner and find the aftermath of destruction. Both JC Styles and Homeless Jimmy are down and out cold. A busted cane lays on the floor.
Paul Heyman comes running (sort of) over followed by two assistants.
PH: “You, go get a medic! You, go get Cobra and Deadly. Tell them they’re on next!
“Son of a bitch!
“!!”
Paul storms off, presumably in search of Shane as the X-Tron fades out.
CHAD LEWIS: “We are gonna try and get all this sorted out while we take a commercial break. I think its obvious that the Black Circle took out those competitors!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “You’re making assumptions! Whatever happened to ‘innocent until proven guilty’?”
CHAD LEWIS: “Xavier, I think you’re blind to reality. We‘ll be back in 90 seconds!”
Madness comes back from commercial, and again we’re backstage. Shane walks through the halls with a bit of swagger. Behind him, walking side by side are John Madison and Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus. Trailing them is the towering presence of Sebastian Duke.
They come to a door labeled ‘Paul Heyman’ and enter without knocking. Paul has his back to them and is on the phone.
PH: “I don’t give a shit! Find Shane and ask him to come to my office!”
Shane : “Paul.”
Heyman turns his head and sees the entirety of the Black Circle.
PH: “Nevermind…. He’s here….”
Heyman hangs up the phone and sits slowly in his chair. Shane sits in a chair and props his feet up on the other side of the desk.
Shane: “So… What is it?”
PH: “What the hell is he doing here!?”
Heyman points and Shane follows the imaginary trail.
Shane: “Nathaniel? What about him?”
PH: “I’m not sure if you know this, but he tried to kill me a few weeks ago! He brought me some sort of danish or cookie things! They were poisoned Shane!”
Shane: “Whaaaaat? That’s impossible. N.A.Z.I. is a good man! He wouldn’t dare do such a thing! Would you Nathaniel?”
NAZI: “No, sir!”
PH: “Craig Davis ate one and dropped like a rock! He’s still in a coma. Test proved positive for some kind of toxic chemical or poison!”
Shane: “I’m sure it was a mistake. The bakers must have done it. Right, Nathaniel?”
NAZI: “Yes, sir!”
Shane: “I’m sure he feels very apologetic. Don’t you Nathaniel?”
NAZI: “Absolutely. Very apologetic.”
Sensing the sarcasm, Paul gives up.
PH: “Can we talk alone?”
Shane just snaps his fingers and the three men start exiting.
Shane: “John, you know what to do.”
John Madison nods his head in agreement and they exit the office and shut the door.
Shane: “Well. We’re alone. What is it?”
PH: “Your boys destroyed one of my matches!”
Shane: “I know.”
PH: “What do you mean you know?”
Shane: “I was there. I know exactly what they did.”
Paul is noticeably frustrated as he leans back in his chair and wipes his eyes.
PH: “You hired me to do a job! Right now you are interfering with that! I promise matches to the fans that tune in each week, and the fans that spend their money to come to my show! I promise them certain matches and you are forcing me to break promises, Shane!”
Shane: “Paul… Relax… Shows are about ratings! The more ratings we get, the more advertisers get involved, the more money comes into our pockets! The Black Circle equals ratings Paul! Relax. Trust me on this. When the Black Circle appears on television, ratings go up. That’s all its about!”
Shane gets up and is set to exit the office. He has his hand on the door and Paul speaks.
PH: “The Black Circle equals ratings, right?”
Shane: “That’s what I sad Paulie.”
PH: “Then you won’t mind when I tell you I tasked Steve Sayors with getting an interview with Sebastian Duke.”
Shane hesitates momentarily.
Shane: “Deal. It will be arranged. Have Sayors out in the ring immediately after the Crimson Crest match.”
Shane doesn’t wait for a response. He exits Pauls office as Madness cuts to commercial.
CHAD LEWIS: “We’re back here on Madness folks, Crimson Cobra is already in the ring and Crimson Deadly is just entering the ring.”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Paul Heyman, General Manager of Monday Night Madness, is about to secure that contract in the briefcase!”
CHAD LEWIS: “What the hell is going on here!? The lights are out!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “Indeed they are moron! Unless you’re blind, it’s pretty easy to tell the lights are out! Idiot!”
#1 Contenders Match
Crimson Cobra
- vs -
Crimson Deadly Ladder Match
The lights come back on and Heyman notices right away. He drops the briefcase containing the contract and he gets the hell out of dodge. Heyman retreats up the ramp and stands near Shane while in shock.
John Madison and N.A.Z.I. each stand in a corner. Sebastian Duke stands along side the ropes toward the middle. Cobra and Deadly have their back to each other, ready to fight.
Shane: “Get ‘em boys!”
The Black Circle members are happy to oblige. Like a pack of wolves, they attack the Crimson Crest aggressively. NAZI and Madison double teaming Crimson Cobra and Duke going one on one, at least for the moment, with Crimson Deadly.
NAZI and Madison dispatch of Cobra quickly as they toss him over the top rope and to the floor. Deadly starts getting an upper hand on Duke and NAZI comes over to help. NAZI pulls an object out of his jacket.
ZZZZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPP!
It’s a stun gun! He just rendered Deadly helpless! Madison stands back in the corner and watches Duke and Nazi go to work. Double teaming Deadly with stomps and kicks. Duke jumps to the outside. Digging under the ring, he retrieves some weaponry. He tosses a couple chairs, a fire extinguisher and finally retrieves a table and slides that into the ring.
Duke climbs back in the ring where Madison is still relaxing in the corner and NAZI is choking the shit out of Crimson Deadly using the bottom rope.
The camera focuses on Madison and he suddenly falls face first to the mat. The camera swings down just as Cobra pulls Madison and crotches him on the ringpost! Cobra slides into the ring and receives a thrust to the throat from Duke. Cobra falls through the ropes and down to the floor. Duke follows him out to the floor. Duke lifts him off the floor and tosses him into the ring steps with a big clang.
Duke starts digging under the ring and pulls out another table. Deadly is somehow starting to get the upper hand on NAZI. Duke sets up the table and lifts Cobra for a choke slam.
John Madison: “Duke! Help NAZI you idiot!”
Duke drops Cobra immediately and heads into the ring. Deadly charges after Duke, but eats a big boot to the face as NAZI recovers in one corner.
On the ramp, Heyman looks on in horror as stands beside him smiling.
John Madison: “Duke! Set that fuckin’ table up!”
Duke doesn’t hesitate and sets it up. NAZI meanwhile has gone back to work beating the hell out of Crimson Deadly. NAZI backpedals to the corner and hops up on the ropes and sits on the top turnbuckle. He motions to Duke with two thumbs up. Duke grabs Deadly and lifts him up in almost a back suplex position or an atomic drop. He carries Deadly over to NAZIs corner and places Deadly gently on NAZIs shoulders. Duke helps NAZI steady himself then gets out of the way.
NAZI, standing on the middle rope, has Deadly up in the Iron Cross! NAZI tilts forward….
CRASH!
NAZI just sent Crimson Deadly through the table with the Iron Cross! Using his feet, Duke rolls Deadly out of the ring and to the floor while NAZI starts clearing a large chunk of the table debris. Madison finally stops clutching his injured groin and has reached his feet on the arena floor.
John Madison: “Nazi! Behind you!”
The warning comes just in time as Cobra was about to hit Nazi with a chair. Nazi hit’s the mat with his knees and cobra runs by. Duke lifts that big leg of his and sends that chair crashing back into Cobras face busting him open!
Cobra hit’s the mat with a thud and the chair flies out of the ring. Duke reaches down and clutches Cobras ankle and drags him toward a corner. Duke ducks out of the ring and to the floor and grabs cobra ankle again. He wraps Cobras leg around the ringpost and hangs on for dear life, holding Cobra in place.
John Madison: “FUCK… HIM… UP!”
Nazi, now on the outside, chair in hand. He swings…
CRACK!
The chair collides with Cobras trapped knee.
CRACK!
Again.
CRACK!
Again. Nazi tosses the busted up chair. Duke slides in the ring. Grabbing Cobra by the hair, Duke drags him all the way across the ring. Once near the ropes, Duke grabs him by the throat and lifts him to his feet. Duke lifts him up for a choke slam and sends him over the top rope and crashing through the table on the floor!
John Madison: “Hurt him more! I’m not satisfied!”
Duke drops out of the ring to the floor and drags Cobra to the ring steps. He tears apart the steps and lays Cobras injured leg on the base. Duke then hands the top half of the steel steps to Nazi. Nazi lifts the stairs high above his head and swings down…
CRUNCH!
Again.
CRUNCH!
Again.
CRUNCH!
Crimson Cobra is out cold and not even flinching. walks over carrying the #1 contender contract.
WINNER: Crimson Cobra
Shane : “Alright! That’s good enough! Let’s get out of here!”
Heyman looks on in stunned disbelief and silence at the carnage and destruction he just witnessed. drops the contract on Cobras chest. Duke, Nazi and Madison along with begin to exit when Shane says something to Duke and points toward the ring. Duke looks back at the ring and heads back to the ring as the rest of the Black Circle heads to the back.
Steve Sayors follows out the EMTs who are tending to the Crimson Crest members. He looks scared to death as he passes Shane Carvers Black Circle members.
He enters the ring and hesitates his approach as Duke is continuously pacing. Slowly he approaches.
SS: “I…. I…”
Duke: “If you’re gonna do this, pull on your big boy pants and lets do it! I’m not gonna hurt you! Just ask me whatever it is you want to ask me! I don’t have all God damned night!”
SS: “I guess, Sebastian Duke, everyone wants to know why. Why did you join Shane Carvers Black Circle?”
Duke: “That’s what you wanted to ask? See, Sayors, its real simple! Not long ago, on Warfare, Witasick ordered up a tournament to crown a new United States Champion. I was destined to win that until his mindless drone lap dog! That’s right. I’m talking to you Tyrone! That dumb bastard interfered and not only did I lose my Xtreme title, I was unceremoniously booted from the tournament!
“Don’t get me wrong! This thing with the Circle has been in the works for quite awhile! Now though, the timing is right! I have myself another United States title match. If Tyrone even thinks about interfering this time, I now have back-up!”
SS: “Well, you belong to Warfare. Wallace Witasick, the General Manager, has gone on record saying he’s wanted nothing to due with the Black Circle on his show! Have you talked to him about this?”
Duke: “No. I haven’t talked to Wallace and I don’t think I have a reason to! I’m still the same old Sebastian Duke, except now I have friends to watch my back!”
SS: “Its that simple? Just business?”
Duke: “How many more questions do you have, Sayors!? You’re boring me! Yes! It is just business! They needed a third member they could rely on and I needed back up! Its that fuckin’ simple!
“I’m out of here!”
Duke starts his exit and Madness fades out to a commercial break.
CHAD LEWIS: “We’re back here on Madness! More drama is unfolding backstage! Lets head on back!”
The cameras are in the parking area where Martin O’Connor and Sandman are being brutally beaten by John Madison and Nazi. Duke emerges from a hallway and joins the destruction. Madison steps back and watches the other two unleash hell.
Sandman is barely putting up a fight against Nazi as Nazi sends him head first through the center window of one of the limos. Sandman stands then drops to the concrete. Covered in blood.
Duke is pounding the shit out of O’Connor and ends it quickly with a choke slam on O’Connor onto the hood of the limo! He then rolls to the floor.
The Black Circle enters the different cars and the motorcade makes its exit.
CHAD LEWIS: “I’m in complete shock here! The only thing I’m thankful for is that its over! The Black Circle, ladies and gentlemen, has left the building!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “God! You’re no fun!”
CHAD LEWIS: “Well, it looks like another match just got thrown at the window! The main event is next when Monday Night Madness returns, LIVE!”
CHAD LEWIS: “We’re back here live on Madness and we’re sending it over to our ring announcer, for introduction!”
XAVIER REIGNS: “What is his name, anyhow?”
CHAD LEWIS: “Ya know, I’m not sure!”
MAIN EVENT
“The Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy
- vs -
Agony & J.P. Corino Handicapped Match
”Bullet With Butterfly Wings” by Smashing Pumkins plays.
RA: “The following contest is a handicapped match scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, now residing in Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing 2 hundred 15 pounds… He is the current reigning XWF European Champion… The charismatic enigma… JEEEEFFFFFFFF HARRRRRRRDYYYYYYY!”
Jeff Hardy rushes out full of energy and slides into the ring. Climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and back flips into the center of the ring.
Agony takes his time coming to the ring, almost as if he's stalking his opponent to find his weak points to exploit.
“Diamonds Aren’t Forever” by Bring Me the Horizon plays.
RA: “His partner… From Calgary, Alberta, Canada… weighing in at 2 hundred 60 pounds…. JAYYY PEEE CORRRRRIIIIIINOOOOOO!”
His song begins to play "WE WILL NEVER SLEEP 'CAUSE SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK AND WE WILL NEVER REST TILL WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD!" and when the band kicks into full gear J.P. comes walking out doing a mini mosh. Banging his head and thrashing around! He makes it all the way to the ring, walks up the ring steps and wipes his feet the apron before he enters the ring. He then goes from corner to corner posing for the cameras.
CHAD LEWIS: "My apologies, but we MUST take our final timeout of the night! STAY WITH US!"
CHAD LEWIS: "We're back here on Madness and I don't know about you X, but I think this one is going to set up the pieces on the board nicely going forward."
XAVIER REIGNS: "I'm proud of you, Chad. You're actually showing some great insight for once."
"Wait just a damn minute!"
CHAD LEWIS: "I think that's Paul Heymans voice!"
On the X-Tron, Heyman appears sitting in his office.
PH: "Just as a little, extra incentive... Agony... Corino.... if EITHER of you defeat Jeff Hardy, you will receive a title opportunity next week!"
Corino and Agony stand together in one corner and Hardy in the other. The bell rings and the team of Agony and Corino immediately charge after Hardy. Jeff sees it coming and quickly bounces from the ring. The referee starts a ten count immediately.
1...
Hardy starts walking around the ring.
2...
Agony and Corino start conversing in the ring.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Hard to say if this is clever strategy on Hardy's part or he indeed is trying to get his ass counted out."
3...
Hardy stands near a corner looking back and forth at his two competitors.
CHAD LEWIS: "Can you blame him? I'm seriously starting to wonder why this match was even booked in the first place."
4...
XAVIER REIGNS: "I'm sure Heyman had a very clear, very logical reason for booking this match. Put your trust in something, Chad."
Agony and Corino advance toward the ropes on different sides. Both adjacent to the corner Hardy is near.
5...
They exit the ring and they have Hardy cornered.
6...
They advance toward Hardy. As they close in, Hardy leaps into the ring. Quickly, Agony and Corino both slide in after him. Hardy goes to work. He stomps away on both men just as they enter the ring. Corino, then Agony, back to Corino, back to Agony. Over and over, as Steve Austin would say, stompin' mudholes and walkin' 'em dry!
CHAD LEWIS: "There's that intensity that Hardy is known for, he might actually stand a chance out there."
XAVIER REIGNS: "I'll level with you Chadwick, he's in there with a pack of dogs... some real animals... you gotta wonder how long he can keep them at bay."
The referee struggles to maintain order. He needs to get either Agony or Corino out of the ring. It might be two on one, but they still have to tag in and out.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Surprise, surprise another ref losing control of the damn match."
CHAD LEWIS: "Maybe you should call your boy Paul up and see if anyone is hiring refs."
Finally, the referee is able to pull Jeff Hardy away from his opponents. Both Agony and Corino are slow in getting up. Slightly winded by the constant stomps. The referee starts bitching at the two men and orders Corino to the outside. Hesitantly he agrees.
Agony turns right into a dropkick from Hardy. Agony staggers backward and hits Corino. JP falls to the floor. Agony falls to the mat. Quickly, Jeff tries to steal a victory.
1...
2...
kickout by Agony.
CHAD LEWIS: "What a close one! Hardy almost put this one away quick!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "You know I gotta admire the strategy so far by Jeff. Sure, he looks like he just walked out of a methadone clinic, but he's using a small portion of that pea sized brain to figure out that he's gotta isolate his opponents out there."
Hardy lifts up Agonys legs. He jumps through, and lands a double legdrop across the head of Agony. Again, he goes for the cover.
1...
2...
kickout by Agony.
CHAD LEWIS: "That's another near fall, but truth be told, Agony isn't going to let himself be put away that quickly."
XAVIER REIGNS: "I wish he'd put away that ridiculous mask."
Hardy gets back to his feet and lifts Agony to his also. Hardy lands a nice inverted sitout suplex and hooks the leg yet again.
1...
2...
Corino delivers a vicious kick to Hardys head breaking up the count.
XAVIER REIGNS: "It was just a matter of time before meathead got back in this one."
CHAD LEWIS: "That was one hell of a save on his part though."
Corino drags Agony toward their corner and steps out just to tag himself in. JP Corino, now the legal man, goes right after Hardy who is not yet to get his feet. Corino helps Hardy to his feet and delivers a snap double underhook DDT. Quickly he goes for the cover on Hardy.
CHAD LEWIS: "Could this be over quick?!"
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out.
Corino bitches at the referee's count and goes back to work.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Homeboy better watch himself, he hasn't earned his spot yet to be tussling with a ref like that."
He lifts Jeff to his feet and tosses him toward the ropes. Corino catches him on the rebound and sends him flying high into the air. JP steps out of the way and watches as Hardy crashes and burns as he lands face first on the mat.
CHAD LEWIS: "The force of that impact, my god, Hardy is in some real pain now."
XAVIER REIGNS: "Yeah, if he can feel it..."
Again, JP with the cover.
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out.
CHAD LEWIS: "Very close call on that one, Jeff Hardy showing he can hold his own."
Corino lifts Hardy to his feet again and lifts him up into the Razors Edge. Hardy fighting back. Kicking and wiggling, finally breaking free. Corino stumbles forward and turns around.
He immediately eats a dropkick to the face. Corino staggers back into his own corner where Agony tags himself back in.
Agony enters the ring and Hardy has just got to his feet. Hardy turns around and takes a jumping cutter for his trouble. Agony goes for the win.
CHAD LEWIS: "Hold onto your bets folks, this could be it!"
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Unbelievable. This kid either has a lot of stamina or he's as dumb as he looks in that getup."
Agony back to his feet, he pulls Hardy to his and tosses him into the corner with Corino. Agony heads for the corner and the referee stops him. While the referees back is turned, Corino takes advantage. Using the tag rope he chokes the life out of Hardy.
CHAD LEWIS: "C'mon ref! Pay attention!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "He is paying attention. He's trying to stop Agony from hurting Hardy even more than he's already been roughed up."
Agony finally agrees to back off of Hardy. Corino releases the choke and throws his arms in the air as if he never touched Jeff at all just as the referee turns to face him. Agony follows up with a tag out to Corino.
Corino back in as the legal man. He lifts Hardy to his feet and sets him in the corner. Corino delivers a few back elbow shots before tagging out to Agony once again.
XAVIER REIGNS: "I'm impressed, Chad. These two guys are working like a well oiled machine. You don't see Mr. Mystery and Peter Gilmour looking this fluid."
CHAD LEWIS: "It's real easy to look like a solid team when you're in a handicap match and the other guy can't tag out."
Agony, once again the legal man. He drives a few shoulders into the midsection of Hardy who is still stuck in the corner. He tags out quickly to Corino. It's almost like neither of them want to be in very long.
Corino, the legal man. Corino pulls Hardy out of the corner. He whips him off the ropes. On the rebound, Corino lands a hard powerslam and hooks the leg.
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out just in time.
CHAD LEWIS: "Another kick-out by Hardy. What's it going to take to put him away."
XAVIER REIGNS: "I'm sure we could ask his dealer. Think he carries a pager?"
CHAD LEWIS: "Will you stop?"
Corino steps back waiting for Hardy to get up. Slow to get to his feet is Hardy. He is up and staggering. He turns around right into the Ace Crusher!
COUNTERED!
Hardy pushes him off at the last possible split second and Corino crashes hard back first. The RKO failing to hit its mark. Agony reaches for the tag, but Corino is still down. Both men try to get to their feet. Corino is up just a millisecond prior to Hardy. Corino grabs Hardy by the hair. Hardy counters quickly with a sit out jawbreaker. Corino staggers backward and tags out to Agony once again.
Agony now the legal man. He comes in with a fury and sends Hardy down with a series of clotheslines. He goes for a cover.
CHAD LEWIS: "This could be it!!!"
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out just before the 3.
Agony lifts Hardy to his feet and whips him off the ropes. On the rebound Agony catches him with the crossface!
Hardy rolls through and breaks out of it cleanly. Hardy quick to his feet and so is Agony. Hardy with a front dropkick catching nothing but air. Agony grabs Jeffs legs and then turns him over into the Texas Cloverleaf!
CHAD LEWIS: "CLOVERLEAF! CLOVERLEAF!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Does it really make it more dramatic for you to yell it that many times?"
Agony wrenches back locking it in tighter and tighter. Hardy struggles to get to the ropes.
Reaching...
And reaching...
Inching closer...
And closer...
Almost there...
Reaching...
Not quite there yet as he screams in pain.
CHAD LEWIS: "Hardy is so close, just a fingertip short."
Hardy can touch the bottom rope but not quite grab it.
Agony stands, relieving the pressure a little just long enough to drag Hardy back to the center of the ring.
CHAD LEWIS: "Again, Hardy must travel toward the ropes while screaming in agony!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Pun intended?"
CHAD LEWIS: "Shut up."
Hardy, reaching.
And reaching.
Getting closer.
And closer.
Inches at a time.
Wanting to tap out but not allowing himself to do it.
Finally, he reaches the bottom rope, but Agony will not release the hold. Hardy hangs on one-handed for dear life as Agony tries to pull him back to the center of the ring. The referee starts his five count.
1...
2...
3...
4...
Corino kicks Hardys hand and he lets go of the rope allowing Agony to again drag him to the center of the ring.
CHAD LEWIS: "C'mon, ref! You really going to let that fly?"
XAVIER REIGNS: "I take back what I said earlier. This ref is doing a standup job."
Hardy again starts reaching and struggling then falls limp. The referee kneels down to check on him.
Out of nowhere, Corino nails Agony, his own partner, with a clothesline!
XAVIER REIGNS: "I knew this guy was a meathead."
Corino rolls Jeff Hardy over and attempts a pinfall. The referee refuses to count because JP is NOT the legal man.
Corino is visibly angry and up in the referees face. The referee backs into one of the corners and is cowering down from Corino.
From behind...
Release German suplex from Agony, returning the favor to his partner!
CHAD LEWIS: "So much for a well oiled machine."
Agony kneels down reading his partner the riot act. From behind out of nowere...
Hardy rolls up Agony and the referee goes for the count.
1...
2...
Agony kicks out.
Agony is up to his feet first. Hardy follows, not sure exactly where he is after the beating he has taken. He turns...
SNAP!
Hardy takes a superkick to the face. Agony goes toward a corner and climbs to the outside and scales the turnbuckles. Suddenly, he slips...
CHAD LEWIS: "OUCH!"
He crotches himself on the top turnbuckle and crashes to the mat inside the ring!
XAVIER REIGNS: "There goes his chance of having kids, not that anyone would mate with this buffoon.
The camera zooms out and JP Corino had stumbled into the ropes causing his partner to fall! Corino gives a wry grin as he drags Agony by the lag back to their corner. Corino steps out just to tag himself in.
CHAD LEWIS: "I'm confused, what's with the double cross?"
XAVIER REIGNS: "These two guys are lone wolves, Chad. They only care about number one. Plus, whoever gets the win over Hardy, gets a nice little title shot next week!"
Corino now legal. He drops a barely standing Jeff Hardy with a big lariat. He goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Hardy kicks out!
CHAD LEWIS: "Hardy still holding on, but maybe he can use the now broken alliance of Agony and Corino to his advantage."
Corino lifts Hardy to his feet. In a mocking fashion, he slaps Hardy in the face and laughs multiple times. Corino is going for another double underhook ddt.
COUNTERED!
Jeff Hardy reverses the attempt into a northern lights pin attempt!
1...
2...
Corino kicks out!
Corino is to his feet quickly and levels Hardy with a huge lariat. He thinks about going for a pin and changes his mind. He backpedals toward his own corner and rests his right hand on the top rope.
Hardy is staggering to an upright position. Corino measures him up...
CLIIICK! What the hell was that?
Corino goes to charge and is stopped. By what? He looks at his right hand and realizes its handcuffed to the top turnbuckle!
CHAD LEWIS: "Agony handcuffed his own partner and tags himself in!"
Agony now the legal man. Corino is pissed off. He's trying to reach for Agony. Agony continues to taunt him from just out of reach! Corino tries to break the hand cuffs but is unable to.
XAVIER REIGNS: "C'mon, you can't tell me that's the first time JP has been in cuffs. He can get out of those."
Agony turns his attention to Hardy and gets a spinebuster for his trouble, seemingly out of nowhere! Hardy rolls through with a pin attempt.
1...
2...
Agony kicks out.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Agony is just too big and too strong. Hardy doesn't have enough in the tank to put him away."
CHAD LEWIS: "Maybe, but we've seen Jeff Hardy defy the odds before."
Hardy to his feet first. Corino, still fighting the handcuffs. Hardy lifts Agony to his feet and then drops him with a spineline and another pin attempt.
1...
2...
Agony kicks out!
Hardy again to his feet. He lifts Agony to his feet and whips him off the ropes. Hardy off the far side and ducks a clothesline attempt from Agony. Both men off their far side ropes. Hardy leaps and drives a forearm into the head of Agony. Hardy, with a head of steam and working quickly. To the top rope...
CHAD LEWIS: "SWANTON BOMB!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Again, does it really make it any more effective when you yell it?"
CHAD LEWIS: "Wait! Agony rolls out of the way!"
Hardy notices in time to roll through the landing and bounce to his feet! Agony to his feet, staggers back into the corner! Hardy charges...
NAILED IT!
Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind on Agony! Agony staggers out and falls face first a la Ric Flair.
XAVIER REIGNS: "WOOOOO!"
CHAD LEWIS: "What was that for?"
XAVIER REIGNS: "..."
Meanwhile, the cameras catch a glimpse of Corino attached to the top turnbuckle via handcuffs.
Back to the action, Hardy with a cover.
1...
2...
Agony kicks out!
XAVIER REIGNS: "Told you, Chad. He can't put big man away."
Hardy lifts Agony to his feet and whips him off the ropes. Agony hangs on and Hardy charges after him. Agony ducks, sending hardy flying into the air over the top. Hardy lands on his feet on the apron. Agony turns and Hardy has him up in a suplex dumping him to he floor.
Corino is still standing on the apron trying to release the handcuffs in his corner.
Hardy back to the inside. Agony is nearly to his feet on the outside. Hardy off the ropes and dives through the ropes landing a suicide dive on Agony outside the ring. The referee starts his double ten count.
1...
Neither man moving.
2...
Still no movement.
3...
Hardy moving.
4...
Agony moving.
5...
Hardy getting to his feet.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Is he drunk or knocked out? Can never tell."
6...
Agony on all fours...
7...
Hardy slides in.
8...
Agony to his feet...
9...
CHAD LEWIS: "Agony rolls in just in time!"
Hardy off the ropes and delivers a baseball slide to the face of Agony! Hardy rolls him away from the ropes and goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Agony kicks out!
Hardy lifts Agony to his feet and tosses him into the turnbuckle. Hardy lifts him to the top.
Corino still struggling with the handcuffs.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Somebody call Cris Angel for this sad MFer right here and get the boy out of those cuffs."
Hardy delivers the corner headstand headscissor take down! Hardy measures Agony up...
Agony to his feet...
CHAD LEWIS: "TWIST OF FATE!!!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Again with the yelling."
Hardy with the cover!
1...
2...
FOOT ON THE ROPE!
Hardy had him! Rather than complain Hardy just starts heading for the top...
Hardy on the top rope...
Hear it comes...
CHAD LEWIS: "WHAT THE HELL?! It's almost like the rope dropped out from under him!!!"
Hardy crashes to the mat awkwardly!
Corino! He took the top turnbuckle off in order to release the handcuffs!
Corino enters the ring and drags Agony over to the corner again, just so he can tag himself in. Corino enters the ring and delivers a Kryptonite clothesline from hell to Hardy! The referee got knocked down in the process. Not out, but definitely knocked loopy.
XAVIER REIGNS: "Ref's on a Jeff Hardy trip right now."
Corino turns toward his partner who has his back to him. Corino walks over to Agony and taps him on the shoulder. Agony, who can barely even stand, turns around and gets punched in the face by a handcuff covered fist of JP Corino.
Corino now returns his attention to Jeff Hardy. He drags Hardy back toward the center of the ring and makes the cover! Referee no longer loopy.
1...
2...
KICK OUT JUST IN TIME!
Corino lifts Hardy to his feet. He steps back, leaps forward...
ACE CRUSHER! He lands the RKO with perfection! He hooks the leg!
1...
2...
3!
WINNER: J.P. Corino
CHAD LEWIS: "Wow, what a match, folks!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Gotta tip my hat to homeboy getting the job done, poor sap was even handcuffed to the damn ring and he pulled out the victory."
Paul Heymans ECW theme hits the airwaves and out strolls the girthy GM. He stops up on the entrance stage.
PH: "Corino! I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing! I don't want you to think I didn't hear what you said over the course of the week, kid! I sign your paychecks! I was in this business while you were still suckin' on your mommas titties!
"I have half a mind to change my mind right now and say fuck you and your title shot!
"You might have been confused as to why I booked this match non-title! Allow me to set the record straight! Hardy, you dumb drug addicted piece of shit, you listen up too!
"Over the past several weeks, I've booked Hardy in title match after title match and he always comes out victorious. That's about to change!
"Corino, I booked this match for tonight to accomplish two things.
"One... to see if either of you had it in you to get the fuckin' job done!
"And B... to soften that bastard up for next week!
"Thats right! Next week, the main event of Madness! Jeff Hardy defends the European Championship against JAYYYY! PEEE!! COORRRINOOO!"
The crowd goes nuts.
PH: "I'm not done! You see, this match isn't just any match. It's no hold barred!
"For Corino!
"You heard me right! JP Corino can use any and every dirty trick in the book! Jeff Hardy, on the other hand, has to play by the rules!
"Oh and before I forget... There will be a special guest referee for that match!"
Heyman points toward the entrance way while never taking his eyes off of the men in the ring.
PH: "The guest referee is...
"Staring right at you!
"That's right Jeff Hardy! Your guest referee, is PAUL HEYMAN!"
Pauls ECW theme hits and he exits. Hardy clutches the belt while laying exhausted in the ring against the turnbuckle. Corino looks on and is all smiles.
CHAD LEWIS: "The deck is certainly stacked against Jeff Hardy next week!"
XAVIER REIGNS: "Noooo doubt about it! Kiss that baby goodbye Jeff!"
CHAD LEWIS: "It's going to be interesting to see what this means going forward. Next week should be interesting, partner."
XAVIER REIGNS: "No question. Now let's get the hell out of here. I got some brews on ice back at the hotel."
CHAD LEWIS: "Goodnight from Kansas City!"
Monday Night Madness fades out.
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