It's fucked up. I'm sitting here and awaiting my interview with Steve Sayors. That's not the fucked up part....the fucked up part is that until about 3 minutes ago, I had no fucking clue where I was. No, I'm relaying that wrong. I'll be more precise....3 minutes ago I turned my head and looked at the clock on my locker room wall and suddenly became aware of my surroundings. Like someone waking up except, I was already awake and in the process of moving. Almost as though you flipped on the tv and there was some show that was already in progress and you had no fucking clue what happened before the moment you changed channels to that show that was already in progress. That's a good way of putting it I guess. Now picture though instead of it being a tv show, it's real life and you're just becoming aware of things in the same manner. No recollection of where you were before you got to the room you're in now or what you did. Not to mention someone is addressing you from afar and saying "Steve Sayors is on his way". It's really fucked up. It's a feeling like no other and if you never had it before then you'll never understand how messed up it has you feeling. Now....I understand my brother Matt has had this happen. Time traveling they call it. When he'd get drunk as fuck, black out and then I'd find him in my lawn . This is not the case. I'm not hungover and if I think back far enough, I don't think I drank. I just remember walking out of the house at like 3 am after my wife told me she fucked John Cena. Then a huge fucking gap of lost footage. Now I'm here and sitting in this locker room awaiting Steve Sayors to interview me.


A knock on my door snaps my brain into focus as Steve Sayors pokes his head into my locker room.


Mr. Hardy?


My eyes focus on the strange, nerdy yet almost serial killer looking man that stands in my doorway. Looking at him you could tell he was socially awkward, picked on constantly, probably had never had sex with another person, and yet he might have a couple body parts in his fridge.


Steve! What's up?


I put all the thoughts out of my mind. Concerns about the lapse in memory, the bullshit with my wife and even the thoughts that popped into my head about Steve and I just focused on the fact that I was going to be interviewed. Steve, walked into my dressing room and adjusted his glasses.


Jeff. It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you. I mean I see you every Monday and commentate on your matches alongside Liz Weinberg but getting a chance to finally interview you, well...it's a honor.


Thanks, Steve.


Steve sat down in a swivel chair across from me and pulled out a legal pad that appeared he scribbled some questions on.


Jeff, you will be facing JP Corino and Agony tonight in a triple threat match. It's not for the title but I'm certain both men are going to be bringing their best to that ring tonight regardless. What are your thoughts on this match and the two men you'll be facing?


I smirk as I give Steve's questions the full few minutes of thought it needs.


What do I think of this match? Well, I think it's one of the easiest thought out ideas for a match Paul, could come up with and the fact it's not for the title just makes him look like he's lost the ability to put together rational thoughts. He walked to the ring like the big, bloated, shit ball he is and told me I don't deserve to wear the European title. That the parade of lackluster, bottom card dwelling, imbeciles he threw at me week after week was somehow an attempt at revoking the title from me. The list of idiots that included Ursula Areano, Neil Capra, and Craig Davis...those were the people who were going to rip the title away from me. End my reign of being European champ because I take drugs and there for I'm not worthy to hold Paul's precious title. Then he throws two men who actually have a bit of talent backing them and says it's not for the title. That just doesn't make any sense at all. How can you make the point of saying you're gonna do all you can to take something away from someone and then just do the complete opposite of that? I think Paul in unhinged, I really do. I think his contradictions show his mind is slipping and if that doesn't...the list of champions that were going to overtake me should. I mean you think he'd wrangle up a fucking challenge when trying to rip the title off my waist. Nope. That would make sense. Paul's a fucking crackpot though and making sense isn't part of that game plan. Y'know how they say a genius is usually crazy....that's not the case here. There's no evil genius, maniacal planning and scheming going on. It's just dumbfuck Paul and his lack of senses. Let's not obsess over Paul though.


You asked what I thought about my opponents. I think they both have some game definitely but in the end, that's not going to help them once I'm in the ring with them. JP Corino obviously the louder man of the two. Running his mouth and saying he's better than me. I mean that's just fucking hilarious right there. That's like he pulled out a crayon drawing and said it was a masterpiece and better than Van Gogh. It's just laughable is what it is. His list of guys he knocked around the ring isn't one to be bragging about either. I mean I beat Ursula and you don't see me screaming it from the rooftops and saying it's one of the accomplishments that makes me great. So to run his mouth like he's been doing and feel as egotistical as he does is confusing to say the least. Then you have to add on he's been sweating my nuts and trying to get my attention. Makes a person wanna scream out'" Relax motherfucker, stop sounding so desperate!", seriously. Jp Corino wants a title shot and y'know after he loses tonight he'll probably get one. That would make sense in Paul Heyman's playbook of dumbfuck ideas. Give the guy who lost a shot at the title.


Then you got Agony and he's just a straight up crazyass. Committing acts of cannibalism on camera and then talking a weak game of insults. Agony is definitely a lose cannon and while it may have proved to be an assist before, that factor has no relevance now. When facing me, insanity really isn't a wild card, catch me off guard, make me worried and fuck up in the ring kinda aspect. He's going to find that out first hand tonight. However I feel it will be Corino that gets most of my attention just cause he's a desperate motherfucker who wants to prove he's better than everyone else. He's gotta prove it cause he's been squawking about it all week!


Steve nodded and looked over his legal pad.


So besides tonight's match and the matches you've had...what is your overall opinion of this company? Where do you see yourself in a few months from now and do you miss TNA?


This company? The XWF? It's the best company I have ever worked for. Despite all the bullshit with Paul, I would never want to work anywhere else. I'm pissed I wasted so much time on the WWE and TNA but there's not much I could do about that. I mean I'm here now so that's what counts. With that being said, no...I don't miss TNA. Where do I see myself in the next few months? Probably right here and wearing the European title.


I laugh and shake my head.


Probably still being hounded by Paul Heyman, screaming about the even longer list of mental midgets he's thrown at me to take the title from me. Telling me how I'm still unworthy and he'll get that title from me yet. I can clearly look into the future and see that happening. My determination for holding onto this belt mixed with the sheer lack of ability in my opponents will pretty much pave the way for that. I mean I say JP Corino and Agony are better opponents and definitely have a better chance in beating me over the people I faced before...but when you look at the list of folks that I faced, that really isn't saying a lot.


So who would you like to face if you could pick your opponent? Who would you give the title shot to? Who would be a big enough challenge?


Off this roster? Monday Night Madness' group?


I laugh again.


Shit that's a tough one. I'd have to say I'd like to face the Crimsons. Single style or a handicapp match.


I see. Well I wish you luck out there tonight and hopefully you'll get to face Crimson Cobra or Crimson Deadly or both in the future. I have to say a match between both those guys and you would most assuredly be a match to look forward to. One that you couldn't actually get a clear shot at knowing what the future held for it. I hope Paul books it. I'm gonna end my interview here though. Sorry to be so brief. Perhaps we will get another moment to chat in the future though?


Of course, Steve.


The interview is over. Steve and I rise to our feet and Steve shakes my hand before exiting my locker room. From there we fade to black.