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The Legend of The Purple Imprinted Howler Monkey
09-15-2014, 07:31 PM
Post: #1
Jungle in South America
September 13, 2014
1:45 PM

Woe is walking through the forest with some of his fellow rooks. No Bishop is around, but they're walking as Woe is screaming into the wind about Mastermind.

WOE: Oh Mastermind. Well that's a name that doesn't quite fit the bill. Hm... how about I just call you Dick Master? Sound good? Good. You sure do speak a lot about heart for someone that wears his so much on his sleeve that we all know the color of it. Now Dick Master, why don't we talk about something I don't see when I look at you. Your spine. Seriously, Dick Master, where did you misplace your spine to? Because during our verbal affairs and during your matches thus far, I've yet to see your actual spine. I've seem a remnant of a brain. A remnant as if it used to be there. Maybe you took too many piledrivers in your day. As for me, I don't take piledrivers. I administer them. On Wednesday Warfare, you won't even be able to walk to the ring for your second match.

Woe begins walking through the forest when a melon falls to the floor directly in front of him. It smashes and the contents splatter all over his boots and pants. Woe looks up the tree, pissed off. He looks up and sees something he'd never seen in his entire life...

The Purple Imprinted Howler Monkey.

Woe begins hyperventilating at the sight of the oh-so-rare animal because even he knows the myth behind the monkey.

A young baby Woe is sitting on his grandpappy's lap. Woe is sitting with the same luchador mask on the knee of Grandpappy Woe. Grandpappy Woe is extremely old with long white hair down his back and a long white beard that reaches down past his waist. Woe goos and gaas adorably. Grandpappy Woe shakes his knee bouncing Baby Woe up and up.

Grandpappy Woe: Little Woe I will tell you the story of The Great Purple Imprinted Howler Monkey. A long, long time ago in a forest not much different from ours. There lived a man by the name of Pedrolas. Pedrolas was a highly inquisitive young man with a heart of gold and a mind like a sponge. The young man always enjoyed exploring the woods and watching the different species of animals make their homes there. Pedrolas was always intrigued with the monkeys as they climbed through the treetops and seemingly flew from tree to tree. He would always climb the trees and try to put his weight out on the limbs, but he was never brave enough to attempt to jump.

Grandpappy Woe: One day, Pedrolas was standing on the biggest branch and was thinking about jumping. He sat on the limb and gazed across the distance wishing he could make that leap with no fear whatsoever. Pedrolas gazed and gazed until he heard a voice above him.

Jump it said. Jump across the gap. Jump to free your soul of the wondering question. Can I make the jump?

Pedrolas looks up and sees a large monkey by the looks he'd never seen before. He asks the monkey, "But what if I fall?" The monkey stares at him with eyes unseen. I can assure you that if you attempt that jump that you'll make it and become a honorary monkey. Pedrolas looks at the monkey and isn't sure what exactly that means. Alas, he suddenly feels extremely confident and lets go of the tree. He sets himself straight on the limb and begins running. He leaps from the limb and lands successfully on the other limb. He looks up at the monkey that he looking at, but it's gone. All that remains is a pair of red eyes and a smile laughing at Pedrolas as it fades into nothing. Pedrolas looks around the tree and there are monkeys everywhere. They push him and bite him and throw melons at him. Pedrolas falls from the tree into the nearby creek. He pushes himself up and notices his reflection. He has the face of the howler monkey, but his chest has an unusual purple imprint. Thus the name Purple Imprinted Howler Monkey was formed. The monkey continued living his life in exile from the rest of the monkeys due to his purple markings.

Grandpappy Woe finishes the story and then throws baby Woe across the room to his mother who catches him barely. He walks across the room and slaps Grandpappy Woe and begins berating him in Spanish. Something to the extent of him being a selfish asshole who doesn't care for Woe.

Woe stares at the monkey and the monkey climbs down the tree and stands upright in front of Woe. Woe is smiling under his dingy mask at the little monkey. The monkey then turns around and smacks its ass before throwing the melon and hitting Woe on the head. Woe screams in anger before letting the monkey go. He turns around and one of the rooks is laughing at Woe's melon-encrusted head. Woe picks up a melon and throws a fireball at him and nails him. The rook flies back ten feet and lands roughly. Woe smiles and begins laughing spurring the rest to nervously laugh along.

WOE: That Purple Imprinted Howler Monkey knows how to party. I need to bring some of these babies to my match with Dick Master. ROOKS! Fetch me those melons!

[Image: 8cSo4aq.jpg?1]
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