Munich, Germany

Allianz, Arena


It hurts.

The Pain it's unbearable.

I'm lying there in the middle of what I assume is the ring.

Underneath someone, in the middle of what I vaguely remember as a submission move,

What was it called again?

That's right The Second Fall Stretch.

Oh how it hurts

I'm barely conscious because I thought I could get out of it, that was my bad luck.

I can hear the crowd yelling 'Tap out, Tap out'

I have no choice but to give in.

I tap, I continue tapping.

Then I find myself laying there.

In the distance is a bell sound.

I barely look up. When I do I saw him looking down at me.

LH Harrison is laughing. LH Harrison is standing over me.

Then I see nothing.

I hear people.

"Are you okay?"

"Can you hear me?"

"Can you hear us?"

"What's your name?"

"We have to put you on a stretcher."

"Can you tell me your name?"

All I see are lights... They whizz by.

All I see is a room. And then all I see is nothing.






I'm 16 years old. I'm sitting on a bench over looking the ocean at a beach. This is where I come when I want to think, when I want to escape reality. My current reality is such that I want to be anywhere but here. I lost my mother when I was 6 years old. My father tried to bring me up the best way he could, but back in those days, it was kind of unseen for a male figure to be a solo parent, where as it was okay for a woman to be a solo parent.

Dad tried his best, but in order to keep us afloat he had to work, and because he was away from home most of the time, he left me alone. My feelings towards that was I got angry, angry that my mum died, angry that father wasn't around most of the time, because he had to work, angry that I felt alone, and angry because I was being bullied. I decided enough was enough.

So what did I do, I fought back. I fought against my father, I fought back against my bullies, and I fought back against the school system. Every time I got in trouble, I was told I was on my last chance.

Then at 14 years of age, I had been in another fight in the school grounds at High School, and I was brought before the principle,

I was outside the Principle's office, waiting for what I thought would be final, final chance. My father turns up.

FATHER: "What the hell did you do this time boy?"

"Same old, same old Dad. I was being abused so I fought back."

FATHER: "How many times have I told you to walk away. Grow a pair of balls and walk away?"

"It's not that easy Dad, truly it isn't."

FATHER: "If you get expelled, I'm sending you away to boarding school, you hear me?"

"That would be so easy for you wouldn't it Dad?"

FATHER: "What did you say?"

"I said, that would be so easy for you wouldn't it, If you sent me away, then you wouldn't have to deal with me any more."

My father looked at me as if he wanted to hit me, hell if I was him, I should have hit me for the way I spoke with him. Then, just then, the Principle's office opened.

"Mr M, you and your son can get in here now."

I got up and walked straight through. Dad followed. We sat down.

FATHER: "I'm sorry Mr. Smith, I'm going to make arrangements to send my son to a boarding school. It's clear he doesn't want to be here."

"Oh I agree."

"But I don't."

Dad and I turned around to see this stranger at the back of the office. I didn't see him when I entered. I knew who he was.

FATHER: "I'm sorry but you don't agree with what?"

"That M should be expelled, or that he should be sent away to boarding school."

FATHER: "And who the hell are you?"

PRINCIPLE: "Mr. M. please meet Mr Clarkeson."

FATHER: "I'll ask one more time, who the hell is he?"

"He's the school's wrestling coach Dad."

FATHER: "Go on then Mr Clarkeson is it? Go on then Mr Wrestling Coach, tell me why you don't think M should be expelled, or that he be sent away. Tell me that?"

MR CLARKESON: "Because I take trouble teens, and get them to combine wrestling with life, and turn their lives around.."

PRINCIPLE: "We've seen remarkable results."

FATHER: "And you want to take my son, and do the same?"

MR CLARKESON: "Yes sir, we just need your permission.."

I see my father get up, and look down at me, very angry.

FATHER: "I can't do it anymore boy, I really can't. I've tried. So if Mr High and Mighty here, wants to try and turn you around be my guest, you collect your things and you go with him. Don't come back to me until you've sorted your shit out."

MR CLARKESON: "Mr M, I mean I don't take literally in, I mean I would work with him every day. He just goes home in the evenings."

FATHER: "Too late Mr Clarkeson, you want to sort him out, you take him in, and deal with him. Like I said until you sorted him out, I don't want to see him. It's too hard."

And with that he was gone out of the office, and for the time being out of my life. My anger was starting to swell. The Principle and Mr Clarkeson looked at each other.

PRINCIPLE: "You got yourself into this, you can deal with that situation."

Mr Clarkeson gets up. MR CLARKESON: "Very well, I accept the responsibility. Come on M you're coming home with me... This will be your new Beginnings."

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

I hear those two words, New Beginnings.

I start to faze back to where I'm sitting over looking the ocean as a 16 year old, and hear those words. New Beginnings






I sit up, awake, sweat pouring off of my face and hear the words. NEW BEGINNINGS