I make my official Monday night Madness debut on September the 8th and I can't wait. This is my show and I'm ready to get mad, I'm ready to go crazy. I am undefeated. This is the greatest streak since Bo Dallas. So far I have beaten Darren Dangerous at the pay-per-view, Relentless and he ran with his tail between his legs, never to be seen or heard of again. Then some Priest challenged me to a match on Warfare, only to have his Jesus loving ass handed to him on a plate, like he was the body of Christ, himself. Father Steve was his name and I haven't heard him do or say anything since either. Is it the fact that the beating they have received at the hands of me, have made them realise that they don't stand a chance in this company, with Scully around? Or we're they just embarrassed they lost too me? Of course, the answer is the first. I'm sure Darren Dangerous went back to his crappy porn films, where he had to pay for sex. He never actually got paid. Father Steve has gone back to praying to the good Lord.
At Shove It Weekend, I teamed up with a Batman wannabe, the RTX Champion, Guppy Parsh and defeated one third of the Trio Tag Team Champions Clean Lucena and some new diva Luna Hightower. I am 3 and 0.
My next opponent is Griffin. He won the Xtreme Championship as soon as he arrived. He defeated Mark Flynn. He held the 24/7 championship for 10 days. But unfortunately unlike myself couldn't win at Relentless. Mystica beat him. Then he lost to Cain on Madness last week in the same type of match as he's having with me, an Xtreme Rules match. Unfortunately for Griff, I'm tougher, wiser and more Extreme than any of those opponents he's faced already.
Location: My home in Miami, Florida .... In the living room area
I was sat in my living room, chilling with my new camera man, Alfie. Alfie is 20 years old. I hired Alfie through an ad I seen in a local store nearby. Alfie had just finished college, he's a pro at photography and video recording. A top camera man. Ok, maybe not quite yet, he isn't a professional but he's getting there. We we're both drinking bottles of budweiser, listening to Kerrang radio, when Alfie began questioning me.
Alfie "So Scully, when do I get paid? Tomorrow? Please say tomorrow"
Scully "Are you serious? You only started Wednesday. You haven't even worked a week, yet..... Why do you need money tomorrow?"
Alfie "Erm.... I owe someone money for my camera"
Scully "Did you buy it from knock off Nigel?"
Alfie "Who's knock off Nigel?"
Scully "Ok you obviously didn't get it... What I'm saying is, was it off a dodgy dealer from the back of lorry?"
Alfie looks a bit sheepish
Scully "Come on you can tell me... You have to anyway. As your employer I have a right to know where you get your equipment from.
Alfie "It doesn't matter"
Scully "It does matter. I'm afraid you can no longer work for me then. I'm going to have to find someone else. As WWE chairman, Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon or maybe even Shane would say.... You're Fir......."
Alfie "Ok... Ok... I got it from some guy called Gary... And yes, he sells dodgy stuff."
Scully "Gary who? Gary Barlow? Gary Neville? Where's he from?"
Alfie "Gary James... He's from here, in Miami"
Scully "Let me have a look at it..."
Alfie goes into his bag and passes me the camera. As I take a good look at it.
Scully "So how much was it?"
Alfie "One and a half thousand dollars"
Scully "One and a half thousand dollars? What? For that! What's so special about it?"
Alfie "It's amazing. It's a Sony - Full-Frame Interchangeable Lens Camcorder... Model number NEX-VG900.... They are normally over three thousand dollars.
Alfie begins showing it to me. Like I really care.
Alfie "It has touchscreen. Effective Image Resolution: 24 Megapixel... Effective Video Resolution: 20.3 Megapixel... Total Camcorder Resolution: 24.7 Megapixel... It has...
Scully "Woah... Hold on... I'm not geeky enough to care, to be honest... Oh and I wasn't really going to fire your ass... I don't care where you get your equipment from, as long as it works!"
Alfie looks shocked that I was just having him on. I begin to laugh at him as he doesn't know how to react.
Scully "I am going to call the fed's though on you and your boy, Gary.... Because your a criminal... And not a smooth Criminal like Jacko either..... I got a song for you"
Alfie "What? Please.... Don't call the police
Alfie sat there looking nervous and worried. I get my Samsung Galaxy S5 mobile phone out my pocket and play a song for Gary.
Alfie "You're not going to call them are you?"
Scully "Nah..... You're too easy.... Come on set that thing up, another edition of Scully Cam is just what XWF needs"
Alfie "Why do you that to me? So... Erm... Can I have some cash for tomorrow, please?"
Scully "Ok then... Noooooooooooooo!......"
Alfie looks gutted and I start laughing
Scully "Just messing, I will transfer it to you're bank tomorrow. I think I have enough X-bux and it's not like I can spend it on anything"
Alfie " Thank you... Thank you
Scully "Now get that camera rolling... Thief."
I laugh at Alfies expense. Alfie shakes his head and smiles to himself, knowing he had just been fooled again. Alfie sets the camera up and then nods for me to start
Scully "'I thought it should only be right, if we had another extravaganza of Xtreme Wrestling Federation's most watched and talked about shows, Scully Cam.....
Welcome XWF morons... It's Mr. Untouchable... Mr. Unbeatable.... Scully... Yep three matches down and no one can beat me.. I know.. You're all thinking but you we're pinned by Clean Lucena at the Shove It Weekend show...
Well... It was a fluke... He wouldn't be able to that again! And who cares I prevailed. My team was victorious. It didn't even count. Now you're thinking... You won because of Guppy Parsh. Well dumb dumbs... Who was left standing? Cuz it certainly wasn't Guppy....
I pause, smile at the camera and then continue
Scully "Now moving on to my next opponent. Yeah you know, that fat, ginger guy from the cartoon, Family Guy. Peter freaking Griffin. The amount of people that love Family Guy, right? Well it sucks. Just like my opponent!
OK... It isn't Peter Griffin... My next victim is not as fat. It is just plain, old Griffin. Another guy who has challenged me. He is way over his head if he thinks he stands a chance. Especially in a Xtreme Rules match. Anything goes. If I want to crack him over the head with a kendo stick, guess what? I can. If I want to smash his skull with the ring bell, guess what? I will. I can do whatever the hell I want...
Grif, you smelly, old Riff... Raff... If you're watching, I just wanted to say no one gives a damn about XCW.... If you love it so much, piss off back there! You're in Xtreme Wrestling Federation now.. Probably not for long though! I'm sure you won't stay around for too long. At Madness, it will just be another loss to add to your list, and another victory to add to Scully's. I've been thinking of what else to say about and to you. But because you're irrelevant, there isn't much to say about you.
It will be another challenge accepted by me and another challenge, conquered... I always have time for a fight.... I will leave you all with an episode of shitty Family Guy... With a better looking, Griffin... The End Scully has spoken!"
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