It's with a heavy cock that I write this message out by hand. My niggas Pretty Princey and OmniPopo helped me so good the other day when they were helping me practice jacking my meat off that I've evolved into something much greater than any man who can turn things into dildos and suck air out of cocks! See when that boy ImniPopo kept punching me in my gut and I kept not being able to breathe while I stroked my super cock it turned me into a new being, nigga I was reborn! Reborn as a dude who aint gotta take in breaths anymore, and what better way than to walk into Shove It against my biggest fan Mr. WGWF?

Ever since I was a little baby cock I was shoving everything under the sun into my ass and sometimes even into my dick hole. G.I. Joe action figure? Right up the dick. Yes please. Glow Worms? Oooooh you have no idea how fun those were to stuff up my ass and have my friends go searching for them when I turned off the lights at our sleepovers. So that right there rules out Mr. WGWF's power of turning every damn mothafuckin thing he sees into a dildo. I'd say my power of shoving everything up into me while it's still in its original form IS EVEN GREATER.

But that dildo headed cock slapper's true power is the power of sucking the air out of any nigga he damn well pleases. He's gonna be turning everything around us into dildos and trying to get them in my anus and I'm just gonna enjoy that shit but he'll also be trying to make sure I can't breathe!

NIGGA I AIN'T BREATHED A BREATH IN DAYS! I don't even know how anymore! Looks like both of your powers are useless against the man with the largest pump in the world! And since you have multiple powers I just might have that too! I might just call out the dreaded, legendary SHARK COCK and have it chomp your dildos right off your shoulders!

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I start to laugh so hard that I finally take in air! Nigga I did it! I cured myself of not being able to breath, AWWWWWWWWW JEAH! JEAH NIGGA! I smile and put my hand on my chest and my other hand on my cock as I start inhaling and exhaling like I was Rose Smith getting 10 cocks in the ass and 20 in the pussy at once. I rush into the bathroom and do a quick practice run in the mirror just to make sure that I still have the power to STOP BREATHING AT MY OWN WILL! I look in the mirror and start to beat my cock so good with some mayonnaise for lube and I just stop breathing.

NIGGA IT'S WORKING! HELL TO THE YIZZEAH BIZZITCH! I can talk and narrate my own shit AND STROKE MY COCK, AND GET HARD AS FUCK, AND NOT EVEN GET WEAK! AND THIS BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK CAN DO IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL WITHOUT EVEN TAKING IN A SINGLE BREATH!

Somebody call Maria Brinks #2 and let her know I'm giving out discounts for sex!

Somebody call Peter Gilmo's Mama and let her know she still has to pay double for this dizzick!

I'M ALL ABOUT THE GOOD DEEDS NOW NIGGA BECAUSE I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE!

I make sure to stop stroking my cock because I don't want to cum right now, I NEED TO SAVE THIS SHIZZIT FOR MR. WGWF LATER ON! PLUS WHEN I'M ALONE IN A BATHROOM LOOKING IN THE MIRROR I'M NOT SURE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE THERE'S NOBODY IN HERE WITH ME TO SHOOT MY LOAD OUT OF THEIR COCKS AND I DON'T WANT TO RISK KILLIN' MYSELF WITH MY OWN SUPERPOWER BY LOOKING AT MYSELF IN DA MIRROR WHILE I BEAT THE MONSTER MEAT!

I stop jerking that shit and I just start breathing normally again.

Can this nigga take any and everything on god's green earth right up his ass and be fine with it? CHECK! Can this nigga take anything up his own dick and still be fine? CHIZZECK!

Can the doctor of dickonamics beat his own dick until he cums but make it so his load shoots out another man's dick, leaving them a limp mess of tingly pleasure that can't even move? AWWWW CHECK!

And can Admiral Appendage, yo boy with the most marvelous muscle in the bedroom choose when and where to just STOP TAKING IN BREATHS? AND NOT EVEN BE FUCKIN' AFFECTED BY THAT SHIT? AND STILL GET HARD AS A ROCK? AND STILL HAVE THE MOST AMAZING ORGASMS KNOWN TO MANKIND? MUDDAFUCKIN CHICKIDDY-CHU-CHU-CHU--CHIZZEEEECKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

I'm ready for you nigga. Bring yo ho's with you, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! Bring yo shitty ass powers that will only help to get me off even better, I WELCUMMMM THAT SHIZZIT!

I'ma walk all over yo ass, dip my cock and balls down into yo holes, and slap that shit dry against Peter Gilmo's face when I see his ass! AND THEN AFTER THAT IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HEADING INTO MADNESS WHERE I'M THE SPECIAL GUEST REF FOR YO MATCH AGAINST PETER GILMO' AND I'MA SHOW YOU THAT I CAN BE THE MOST HONEST, BIGGEST COCKED REFEREE IN ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE LIZZAND! FUCK YIZZEAH! FIZZUCK JIZZEAH!

IF YAH SUH-MEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAAOOOOOWWWWWW...... because you know, I no longer have to smell if I choose not to so yo ass better do it fo me................. WHAT THE BOY WITH THE BIIIIIIG OLLLLLLLLLLLL' DEEEEEEEEEEEYICK IIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SPRAAAAYYYIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Because it's gonna be spraying RIGHT OUT YO OWN TEENY WEENY RAISIN PEENIE! BELIE' DAT, PLAYAAAAAA!

Mr. XWF's status has been changed to: Hitting that running clothesline into a Rock Bottom! You'll be looking up seeing nothing but my cock's bottom!




@MrXwF I'm cruisin for chicks baby! I'm horny as fuck! Who wants to hook up in the club this week? Drinks and Cock Bottoms on me ALLLL NIGHT LONG BABY!