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Cain · **08-26-2014, 10:30 AM**

Fade in. The Basic Cable Band play us in from commercial, the scene being the set of The Conan O'Brien show. Conan sits behind his desk with pencil in hand, tapping the rim of his coffee mug. Richter, Andy Richter, sits in the chair closest to the desk, the camera zooming in on the two as they have a discussion. Andy looks to be rather worried about something.

"No Conan. No. I'm not gonna do it."

"Come on, Andy! The ratings will go through the roof man!"

"Dude, I have a wife. Kids. A family!"

"Come on man, really? It's not real! Just some special effects and stage blood. Just like pro wrestling. It'll be just fine, you won't really die. I promise."

Just like everyone in the path of Conan's next guest, Andy Richter can feel fear creeping up in spine. Why? Because the next guest of Conan has a reputation. He reputedly slaughters entire towns full of innocent people.

"Come on Andy...ratings."

Andy just sighs. He has that feeling. The feeling in the pit of his stomach that this WILL NOT end well. Conan went about his business as the director rolls camera. Big smile for the camera, folks.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to introduce to you one of the most feared superstars in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. He's put on some of the most horric death scenes in the history of television. Folks, please help me welcome...CAIN ARKHAM!"

The band struck up ashitty cable tv version of "O Fortuna" by Therion as Cain stepped through the curtains,dressed to the nines. He moved across the stage, the fabs chanting "Cain" over and over, the Innovator of Death just non-chalantly waving a hand at them. Conan and Andy shook hands with Cain and the three tooj their respective seats, Conan turning to Cain.

"Wow! What a response from this crowd!"

"I'm slowly getting used to it, Conan. After all, I shed the blood, they spend the money. It kinda works out, eh?"

"Indeed it does. Now Cain, how do you do it?

"Do what?"

"You know, the murder thing. Most guys would be in jail by now if they had done what you've done."

Cain simply chuckled, and of course, Andy Richter sat beside Cain. He was really sweating a bit. You know, nerves can do that to a person. The simple answer would be, that long ago, law enforcement agencies world wide had decided that Cain was essential. He was essential to the "death coil". If there was no Cain, the world's population would spiral out of control. But Cain had to remain secretive. He plainly replied.

"I can't tell you Conan, or else I'd have to kill you."

The audience laughed along with the three men at Cain's little joke. Or was it a joke? Very good question. Conan smacked Cain on the shoulder.

"That was pretty funny, Cain. But I'm still curious. How do you kill so many people and get away with it? It's not natural! Surely they're actors, right?"

You could see the smile on Cain's face fading.

"How much do you pay these people? And where are they now?"

Cain turned to Andy, who jumped a bit.

"Is he fucking serious?"

Andy gulped.

"W-w-well..." Andy stuttered. "...he wanted to do a skit where you "killed" me."

Cain bared his fangs, his eyes black pools. Andy chuckled nervously as Cain turned his attention to Conan.

"You think you're funny. You think this is a joke, don't you ginger?"

"Well, I'm a comedian. It's kinda what I do."

"...." A tense silence fell over Cain for a moment, and then he spoke. "...who put you up to this, funny man? Was it Steve Davids? Maybe Pest? Oh, I know. It was that fuckin' cookie monster, Griffin. He knows his time draws nigh."

Conan just laughed and patted Cain on the shoulder, meanwhile, Andy was behind Cain, making cut throat hand signals and shaking his head.

"Come on big man, lighten up! We all know it's all for show!"

Cain sat there for a moment, once again in complete silence. These mortals had seen it with their own eyes. However, they still chose to disbelieve everything. If it was "him" running around killing people then they would write about it in their legends. Stupid humans. They laughed at him like he was a joke. He heard all the laughter...he felt the host repeatedly smacking his shoulder. Finally, quicker than the blink of a human eye, he grabbed the wrist of Conan and squeezed, twisting it. The crowd ohhh'ed loudly and cheered, Andy jumping behind the couch. Hiding. Cain twisted...and...

SNAP!!!

The bone ripped through the arm of Conan's blazer as Cain stood over him. Needless to say, the Original Beast wasn't happy.

"Am I still funny, mother fucker?! You think this is a joke!?"

"N-n-n...no...(sobbing)...you're not funny! You're not a joke! Please don't kill me!"

Cain reared back with his claws, and security rushed the stage. However, they all stood back. They kept their distance. Cain smirked and dropped Conan with a hard south paw. The security, poised to strike, still couldn't bring themselves to attack the Beast. He turned from the unconcious host and smiled.

"Hrmf. You Hollywood types aren't worth my particular set of skills." He said, security parting as he walked through them. They'd witnessed his power. They wanted no part of him. He looked at Andy, then motioned toward Conan with his head. "...when he wakes up, laugh at him. Point and laugh."

"Um...why?"

Cain's eyes flashed.

"Cause he thought he was funny. Have a nice day, Andrew."

Exit stage left.

-Static-

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